Water splashed over my face, running down my cheeks and dripping into the sink. Eyes closed, I fumbled for the towel lying on the edge of the sink. The soft fibers of the cloth absorbed the droplets from my face, leaving my skin cool to the touch. My bleary eyes opened to look in the mirror. Puffy, purplish circles hung under my eyes. My jaw stretched into a yawn. Jeez, I'm tired.
Last night's chase was exhausting. Adrenaline sustained me during the chase, but as soon as the cab arrived to take us back to the hotel, my energy crashed. I nearly went to bed in my makeup and dress, but Dari refused to let me go to bed until I had changed into my pajamas.
I ran a comb through my hair. The teeth of the comb caught on knots in my hair, but I didn't bother to tease them out. I still could hardly believe it. To think that I had let my guard down and almost allowed a second imposter slip through my fingers...
The real Agent X wouldn't have done that. She wouldn't have let her guard down, even for a second. Even when she's not on a mission, she still is alert, watching, waiting. And you...you joke around with Ty and Finn every chance you get. You are a joke. What are you capable of doing? All you were able to accomplish only because of the real Xara's memories. You're a phony, an imposter, just like the WAOIC agents...
My first slammed on the bathroom sink. Pain shot through my hand.
No! I screamed internally. This is not how I am going to end my final day in Belgium! I may never return here. You need to leave good, positive memories to sustain you the rest of your life.
"Xara? You good?" Dari called from the other room.
I sucked in a breath. "Yeah, I just dropped something on the floor."
Dari didn't say anything more. Whether or not she believed me was debatable.
I peered into the mirror. This was the first time I had really looked at myself without the aging make-up since starting the mission. My skin felt bare without it. I looked so young, so naive, not at all like the wise thirty-five-year-old Xara.
Would the others still respect and listen to me, even if I didn't look like the older Xara?
"Xara, are you ready to go? We're checking out of the hotel soon."
I glanced at my watch. Gosh! It was already ten minutes to nine.
"Just a minute," I said. I quickly applied my makeup. The brushstrokes had grown familiar after so many days of use. I had gotten the routine down to five minutes. When I finished, I quickly packed the various containers into my bag and exited the bathroom.
"Grab your stuff," Dari said. I pulled Xara's red trench coat over my shoulders. Its earthy smell had faded throughout the trip, like a memory dulling into the subconscious. I took a moment to drink in the remnant of her scent. Before I knew it, it would all be gone.
"What are you waiting for?" Dari asked.
I jumped. "Sorry! Let's go!" I grabbed my suitcase and tossed my makeup bag inside.
Dari squinted at me. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, of course," I said, forcing my voice to be steady. "Why wouldn't I be?"
"You just seem a little off," Dari said. "Do you want to talk about anything?"
That's a first. Dari had never said that to Xara.
"Naw, I'm good," I insisted. "Let's head out." I opened the door for Dari, and, after one last look, exited the room.
Ty's smirk greeted me in the hallway.
"Well, if it isn't the famous Agent X, who's 'not one to be late.' Might I inform you that it is 9:01, one minute after you told us to be ready?"
"Shut up," I muttered, slinging my suitcase over my shoulders.
This was not good. I was deviating too much from my lessons. If you had been more focused on what you had been taught instead of the excitement of being away from home, then maybe you would have caught Miss Checklovia's imposter sooner.
I just needed to try harder to be Xara—the real one. I was just a clone, which meant that I had to do what Xara did, think what Xara thought, be what Xara was. I shouldn't have to work at this. Being Xara should be normal to me. Am I not her? I have all her DNA...
"Um sis?"
I snapped out of my thoughts and turned around. The others were still standing outside the hotel doors. I realized that I started walking without them and was already at the end of the hall.
"Yeah?" I said.
Finn cleared his throat. "You do realize that your suitcase has wheels on it, right?"
I pointed to my left. "Stairs."
"oOooh," Ty and Finn said in unison.
"We thought you were losing it," Dari said.
"Why would that mean that I'm losing it? Does Xara have something against carrying her suitcase on her back?"
"No..." Ty began.
"Then why is it weird or unusual?"
The four remained silent. Deep down, I knew the reason for their surprise. They didn't think of me as Xara.
"Let's go," I said, starting down the stairs.
I stepped onto the shiny floor of the lobby. The distinct sound of boots clopped behind me. I didn't need to turn around to know that the others were at my heels.
"I'll check out of the hotel room," I told them. That was usually Xara's job.
"I'll get the car," Finn said.
"I'll pull up a map," Dari added, eyes glued to her phone.
"I'll find some food," Ty chimed in.
I turned around, raising an eyebrow.
"What?" he said innocently. "I thought we were stating our assigned roles."
I rolled my eyes and proceeded to the mahogany desk in the front of the hotel. My stomach rumbled, reminding me that I had only eaten half an apple and some coffee for breakfast. Maybe Ty should find us some food.
The same brunette from before sat behind the desk. She glanced up as I approached and smiled.
"How may I help you?" she asked.
"I'm checking out of rooms six-hundred and six-hundred and one," I said.
"All of the paperwork and payments have been taken care of. Just turn in your room keys, and you're set to go."
I slid the two silver room keys across the desk, and she placed them inside a drawer.
"Thank you. We hope you had a wonderful, relaxing stay, and will join us again soon."
"Thank you for a pleasant vacation experience," I responded, repeating the words that Xara always said when she checked out of a hotel, left a restaurant, or got off a flight. Except in those cases, she changed 'vacation' to 'dining' or 'flight.'
"You're welcome!" the woman said cheerily. I supposed she had to be overly enthusiastic. Afterall, she was the face people saw before they left the hotel. She needed to convince people to come again.
I smiled slightly before leaving. It always felt so awkward to only allow a hint of a smile on my lips, especially when others smiled broadly. It had been easy to do back at IIA headquarters. Professor Nyryn or Professor Endals would gently correct me if I showed too much happiness or enthusiasm for something. But here, out in wild society, it felt rude to be so reserved. I was now thoroughly convinced that Xara did not actually feel any emotions, for surely she would have been pressured into full grins.
I found Dari standing alone outside the hotel. As usual, she was caught up with her phone. She reminded me of a teenager addicted to social media, only her 'social media' was coding.
"What are you doing?" I asked nonchalantly. I don't know why I asked. It's not like the real Xara would ask.
Stupid, Xara. Stupid, stupid, stupid. You can't just ask people questions because you're bored. Everything you do needs to have purpose. Getting into mundane conversations will distract you from noticing the important things, just like you missed Miss Checklovia's disguise.
Xara would have seen it, I was sure of it. She would have seen it sooner, too. And I had all of her tools at my disposal. That meant that there was something wrong with me.
But wait, there is nothing wrong with the real Xara. So how could there be something wrong with me when I have Xara's DNA?
"Coding," Dari murmured. She was still engrossed in her phone, thumbs tapping the screen rapidly. She mustn't have picked up on the fact that I had asked her a strange question.
Coding, I mused. Why the heck does she need to be coding now? We're leaving Brussels. Our mission is done.
The thought had a strange forlornness attached to it. The IIA no longer had a use for me. I wasn't as valuable as the real Xara. She would regain her position, and I would be sent to the five rooms I had lived in all my life. I wasn't sure if I could take it—being given a taste of the real world only for it to be snatched away.
Finn pulled up in the rental car. I pushed my thoughts away. There was only one thing I was certain of: the rest of Team Summit could not know about the doubts plaguing my mind.
The only person I would consider discussing this with was Professor Nyryn. She was like a mother to me. In a way, she and Professor Endals were my parents. They had been the only two scientists working on the cloning project. They had given me life by growing me from Xara's stem cells in a test tube.
Professor Nyryn. A pang of sadness throbbed in my chest. It had been so long since I had seen her. I wondered what she would say to all my adventures, if she'd help me to cope with my longings for action just like she had helped me cope with the pain I experienced during the first few years after being 'born.'
"Get in losers, we're going home," Finn called from the car, trying to pitch his voice up an octave.
I rolled my eyes. "Coming."
We all placed our bags in the back and took our places in the car—Jax in the front, Dari on the right, Ty in the middle, and me on the left.
I peered out the window as the car crept forward, trying to burn the image of Brussels into my mind. The fancy hotel, the crowded streets, the ancient architecture, the tour buses—in the blink of an eye, it would all be gone, and I would be back in my room overlooking Washington D.C. A lump settled in my throat, and tears gathered in my eyes, clouding the image of the city.
No! I screamed internally. I will not let tears stain my last memories of Belgium. I won't allow it!
I leaned against the door of the car, my nose pressed against the window. Breathe in, breathe out.
It was a beautiful day, the sun shining and a few, fluffy clouds dotting the sky. Pretty soon, I would be soaring on a plane through those clouds. Pretty soon, I would be headed home.