Emily went to bed around 8 and now Harry and I are watching a movie, he has his head resting in my lap and my fingers running through his curls and he keeps humming every now and again so I know he's enjoying it and if I stop he whines. He rolls over and looks at me so I stop moving my fingers but I keep them in his hair.
"You're so beautiful you know" he smiles at me whilst his eyes go all around my face. I looked into his eyes and they were a lot brighter than usual and they were really green, he had this sparkle in his eyes which I couldn't quite work out what it was but it was beautiful to see. I had been so distracted by his eyes that I didn't notice what he said. he smiled and I shook my head. "you wasn't listening was you love?" I shook my head again and some of my hair fell down past my face and as though it was an instinct Harry's hand reached up to push it behind my ear and I smiled down at him.
Harry's hand slowly started making its way back down to his stomach when I grabbed it to look at his rings he didn't have many but I knew he liked the ones he had which made me smile. he removed his hand from mine and got up but his hands quickly found my waist and he lifted me so he could lay on the couch on his back and he put me on top of his waist.
"Mr Styles, you better not have any inappropriate thoughts while I'm sitting on your lap" I raise my eyebrows at him and he chuckles at me shaking his head and his curls tousling on top of his head, he looked really cute while he did it though. His eyes meet mine and he brings me to lay down on top of him, I got worried I was too heavy at first but then I remembered that Harry lifted me effortlessly off the couch.
"your so gorgeous" Harry says whilst grabbing a bit of my hair and twirling a piece in between his fingers. "I like your hair like this, but I still think you look pretty all natural you know, like baggy clothes, no makeup and your hair in a messy bun" I can feel my eyes start to water. Harry is so sweet, none of my boyfriends ever complimented me or appreciated me as much as he does. I raise my head from his chest and looked at him, he saw my eyes watering and a tear escaped my face and a look of panic spread across his face. "shit babe I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you cry I'm so sorry" he pulls me closer to his chest and cuddles me, I hug him back then I pull away and he looks at me with a concerned look on his face. His hands cup my face and his thumbs wipe across the skin to get rid of the tears and the tear stains on my face. I nuzzle my face into his hands and I see the corners of his mouth rise a little.
"Thank you Harry, that was so sweet of you, no one has ever complimented me that much before" he looks at me with a look that says 'explain'. I smile and nod. "so none of my ex's really complimented me, I guessed I liked it when you did because I never get compliments like the ones you give me. most of the compliments I get are ones about my tits or my ass when I go out with Bella." he nods in an appreciative way, I guess he kind of gets the same thing. People don't see him as Harry Styles the cute boy from a small town of Cheshire, they see him as Harry Styles the hot one out of One Direction. "My most recent ex, Emily's father wasn't great either, he um... he used to do stuff to me before Emily was born" my eyes water again and Harry pulls me into him again.
"shhh, its okay baby, take your time" I cuddle closer into him as I cry. Why do I feel so comfortable talking about this with Harry, I've known him for a month and a bit now and we've got to know each other through FaceTime. I thought it would be a lot more awkward when he got here but it's not. I'm really sitting on Harry's lap cuddling with him right now and he is comforting me.
"I almost lost Emily" I started crying so heavily and Harry started rubbing his hands up and down my back. "my ex boyfriend, Emily's father, he ummm, he got violent when I told him about her" he stopped moving and pulled back grabbing my hands in his rubbing his thumbs over my knuckles.
"you didn't deserve that love, if it was me I would've been happy knowing that my beautiful girlfriend was having my baby" he smiled at me and my eyes widened at what he said. "if I'm being honest" he said and I nodded. "at this moment in time if I was having a kid with anyone I'd want it to be you" my heart stopped and he smiled at me. "you don't have to say anything back to that I just wanted you to know" I nodded.
After a while of being in Harry's arms we went upstairs being as quiet as we possibly could and got ready for bed. Whilst I got changed Harry brushed his teeth and we alternated. I crawled into bed followed by Harry who tried to stay on his side, but his legs ended up tangled in mine as my head is laying on his chest using it as a pillow. His fingers play with the end of my hair on my lower back. I don't know what it was having his hands on my back felt nice and comforting.
"Do you ever get tired of singing the same songs over and over again, night after night? I mean you're really good and you look amazing on stage but you know" I blurt out into the silence of the room and I bring my hand to my mouth to stop anything else coming out, he just chuckles.
"Thanks for the compliment love" we winks at me and I hide my face in his chest from embarrassment. "I guess I do get bored sometimes, so do the boys, but the fans love it and then seeing the fans faces and them singing the songs back to us is an incredible feeling it's crazy" I nod and smile at him he just continues playing with my hair "let's talk about you, I don't really know that much about you're childhood or who you are". He smiles showing me his dimples.
"Well, when I was 5 my dad sadly passed away" he looks at me wide eyed and I just chuckle at his reaction. "It's okay Harry don't worry, I'm bummed about it yeah but I've gotten over it" he nods and I continue. "So I grew up without my dad and it was always only my mum, my sister and I. We used to go on holidays at least every year and me and my sister would try kill each other every holiday" I chuckle at the memories and Harry has a smile on his face.
"That's cute, I can just imagine little Mads running around chasing a little girl that looks like you" I laugh at his statement. He looks at me with his green eyes looking a lot darker now.
"My sister looks nothing like me Harry, we are like total opposites, she looks more like my dad and I look more like my mum" he smiles and nods. "What about you're family are you close with them?"
"Yeah I love my family, I'm really close with my mum I tell her everything, she knows about you actually" he smiles at me and I give him a worrying look. "Don't worry all good things I promise, she also asked me to ask you if you wanted to come round for a barbecue with Emily, it's like a thing my family does, we get together like once a year and me and Gemma bring loads of our friends round and yeah I wanted to ask if you wanted to join us, my hairstylist has a little girl too, she's 4 her name is lux I'm sure Ems and Lux will be good friends" he says and I smile at him.
"Sure Harry I'd love to go as long as your family is okay with that then sure" he nods and hugs me tighter and I snuggle into him again. I feel his heartbeat on the side of my face and it is so soothing. "Harry you're heartbeat is really soothing" I blurt out and he chuckles so I feel his chest moving up and down and it makes me giggle. He runs his fingers through my hair and I smile. "Harry will you sing to me?" He smiles at my request and he nods.
He starts off singing little things, then he goes into a different song that I've never heard before, which he tells me is called infinity which is on the new album. His voice sounded so calming and soothing that I soon fell asleep.
Harry's Pov:
When she asked me to sing to her I felt butterflies in my stomach, so I started off with little things, trying not to be too loud to wake Emily up so my voice comes out more like a whisper but mads doesn't mind. I look down to her and I can see her smiling and it warms my heart. I finish little things and I notice she's almost asleep so I sing a new song we've been working on called infinity, which she doesn't know and neither do they boys, but parts of it are about her and parts of it are about mine and the boys past relationships.
I don't know what it is but just being with her makes me so happy, even just laying with her. I love the sound of her laughs they are contagious and I love it so much. I lied when I said my mum invited her over, I just really wanted mum to meet her and Emily. I know my mum will love Emily and already spoil her, so will Gem hopefully.
I finish singing infinity and I notice her breathing has evened out meaning she fell asleep, I looked down at her face admiring her beautiful features. Her hair had started to curl up which I know she hated, that's why she straightened it all the time. Her freckles across her cheeks and the bridge of her nose, she's insecure about them but I think they are cute. I can see so much resemblance in Emily to her. Emily has freckles just like mads and curly hair, but Emily likes her curly hair. I look down to mads lips and they look so full, I just wanted to kiss them. But I couldn't, she isn't mine. I plan to make her mine one day.
"Baby look what you've done to me"
Those lyrics play in my head from Stockholm Syndrome because she doesn't know that she's driving me crazy, she's so perfect.
I fall asleep slowly after Mads, listening to her breathing, with her arms wrapped around my stomach and her head on my chest, for the first night in a while I knew I was going to sleep okay, just having Mads in my arms and I know I can keep her safe. I wont admit it to anyone but I really do care about her, she makes me so happy and she doesn't even know it, I hope I make her happy too, I know I make Emily happy, she's obsessed with my band so I'm sure she loves having me around but I just hope Mads feels the same.