TWO weeks later, Anjali sat in the park outside Ashray talking to Manav. 'I am worried about Arnav. Since he came back from the police station last week, he is behaving strangely. 'What exactly happened there Manav?'
After one week of running to and fro to the police station, the SP had finally been forthright with him. He had told him that Shyam hadn't confessed to kidnapping Khushi in spite of the third-degree they had meted out to him. They believed that he was telling the truth. He was being shifted to Tihar after which he would be awaiting trial for the murder of his father. They had also found the remainder of the fifty lakh rupees stashed away in his house.
Then the SI had told him that since there was no foul play in Khushi's disappearance, he would either have to wait for his wife to come back to him or go looking for her in places she was likely to go after a fight.
'This is ridiculous!' Arnav exclaimed banging his fist on the table. 'I am sure Shyam is lying.'
'Sir, he has nothing to lose now, why would he lie?' The SP was trying to be patient.
'You don't know him like we do.' Arnav insisted.
'I beg to disagree Mr Raizada,' he countered. 'We have been dealing with criminals all our lives. Have you considered the fact that your wife wants some time off to think?' The inspector said gravely.
Arnav sat back a little taken aback with the suggestion. His eyes blazed with fury. 'You are just not trying hard enough.'
The inspector's temper rose up. 'We don't usually interfere in domestic disputes Mr Raizada. We have better things to take care of. How can you be so sure she wants to be found?'
'I thought Arnav was going to hit him,' Manav chuckled. 'I calmed him down and brought him home.'
Anjali was surprised. 'Is that why he is behaving like this? He goes to work in the morning, comes back late at night. He hasn't been eating well. I think he has been drinking. When I tried talking to him, he completely closed up. He isn't even searching for Khushi.' She added anxiously.
'It's a delayed reaction to everything that has happened Anjali . I think he is feeling guilty.'
'It was mom who caused all this.'
'That is exactly why he feels guilty,' explained Manav. 'In the past five years, Arnav has lived with the belief that Khushi betrayed him for her career. He thought he was the victim. Now he suddenly finds out that Khushi was innocent all along. He blames himself.'
'He shouldn't.' Her face creased with concerned.
'Well, I don't know the depth of the relationship they shared at the time, but considering their age, I can only surmise that it was still in a nascent stage. Arnav and you come from a broken home and hence you both have serious trust issues.'
'Me?' Anjali was taken aback.
'Yes, you as well. Your relationship with Shyam was based on duty rather than trust and sharing. In spite of being in a marriage you have tried not to depend on your husband for anything. You knew all this and felt guilty. If Shyam was a good husband he would have tried to earn your trust, with patience and understanding. But he played on your guilt and took advantage of you.'
As Anjali remained silent, he continued. 'This inherent distrust in relationships probably caused Arnav to hold back all those years ago. Khushi didn't know where she stood with Arnav at the time, whether she meant anything to him at all. That is why she couldn't come to him when your mother asked her to leave.'
'It makes sense,' Anjali agreed. 'But from what I could see of them in the last few months -- they love each other immensely Manav.
'I don't understand why Khushi left him like this. What sort of love is that?'
'Anjali , I understand that you feel for Arnav – he is your brother and it is quiet natural,' he said patiently. 'But from a neutral stand point, this is what I think. From what I heard from Garimaji and Buaji the other day, it is pretty clear that Khushi has had an abusive childhood. She probably thought that she could gain their love by pleasing them. She has been doing that all her life and probably doesn't know where to draw the line.
'Five years ago she left Arnav not only because she could protect her dad from going to Akashl, but also because she probably felt that your mother was right and she didn't deserve a person like him.
'Now she left so she could protect Arnav from having to face the truth about your mother, her mother. It's in her nature Anjali .
'I can't bear to see him like this Manav.'
'He will be fine,' Manav smiled at her affectionately. 'He just needs some time to think. He will figure it all out. Don't worry.'
Arnav stood in the garden at the farm house, a glass of vodka martini in his hand and Khushi's diary in the other. Where are you Khushi? He asked silently. It had been three weeks since Khushi had left. The first week he had been so sure that Shyam would disclose where he had hidden Khushi. When that hadn't turned up any results, he had spent the next week in denial that Khushi had indeed left him. And then anger took over. Had she really gone to Mumbai? He wasn't going let her get away with it this time.
He had flown to Mumbai determined to carry her back on his shoulder, tied up and gagged if the need be. He had somehow tracked down her roommate, only to find out that Khushi hadn't contacted her either. She was sure that Khushi had not come to Mumbai as she not heard anything from her friends circle. After, a couple of days he realized that Khushi was definitely not in Mumbai.
A dread began to form in his heart. Was the SP right? Didn't Khushi want to be found?
He had come to the farm house in desperate need of some peace. But standing in the garden reminded him of the day he had first brought Khushi here, on the night of Akash's bachelor party.
How exhilarated she was to see the beautiful flowers. Oh my God, Arnav this is just beautiful...
His thoughts went back to the night of the Dandia when he had seen her dancing gracefully. He had been drawn to her instantly, but had been trying to fight his attraction for her, first with indifference and then rudeness but she had broken down all his defences one by one. Once he had given in to his impulses and kissed her on the night of Diwali, he had had a tough time keeping his hands off her.
He looked beyond to the banyan tree that had been witness to his first intimate moments with Khushi. After the implicit trust that she had shown that night, why had he so easily accepted that she had betrayed him?
That night, Khushi had confessed her love for him, but he had not reciprocated. He had realized how much Khushi had come to mean to him but he had procrastinated the decision of letting her know. This decision had to lead to the chain of events where Khushi was forced to leave everything she held dear -- in the blink of an eye.
He tried to imagine the mental trauma the young eighteen year old girl might have gone through when his mother had confronted her on the day of Akash and Payal's wedding. He recalled the entire day in minute detail.
She had ignored him and had concentrated on talking to some boy from Lucknow. Then he had witnessed Buaji's embarrassing rantings against mami regarding some gift. Already irked by Khushi's erratic behaviour, when Lavanya had teased him about Buaji becoming his mother-in-law he had blown his top --
Akash is a big fool to be getting married into a low class family like that
Had she heard him talking to Lavanya ? No wonder she had brought that up in a conversation they had when he confronted her under the stairs, pushed her against the wall and kissed her against her will.
'If you are done, can I go now?'
'I should have known not to engage with -- '
'A low class girl like me!Is that what your mom taught you?'
'Don't you dare bring her up! You don't even know her.'
It was he who didn't know his mother. A woman who had traumatized an innocent girl, playing on her weakness – her obligation toward her foster family.
She had not told her parents about the fraudulent papers. She didn't want to face the remote chance that the accusation might have been true. What a dilemma for a young girl to face. Her sister's wedding was at stake, the likelihood of her father going to jail – all these critical decision at a time when she should have had the freedom to grow and spread her wings.
She had probably agreed to leave when his mom had threatened her with breaking up Payal's wedding. But his mom hadn't stopped at that. She had further blackmailed the poor girl with fraudulent papers. Why?
As he kept staring at the plants he realized it. Of course! It was the same afternoon, hours before Akash and Payal's wedding that he had revealed to her that he loved Khushi. She had hugged him then and told him everything would be alright. But all she had been doing was plotting to send Khushi away from him. He threw the glass against a tree in anger. How could his mother do that to him?
Later that evening, Khushi had completely avoided him. He had been so angry with her that after the wedding, he had insulted her by slapping Rs 10,000 on her hand for Akash's slippers. A knife twisted in his heart as he remembered the tear that had trickled down her cheek from her already red eyes. He had wanted to drag her to himself and wipe away the stricken look on her face but he had let his temper rule him. He had walked away.
Even after five years, in spite of his mother being gone, Khushi had refused to let it out once that it was his mother who had sent her away. She knew how much it would hurt him. But she had tried to tell him, hadn't she?
He wouldn't listen.
Don't mention my mother Khushi or I don't know what I will do.
F@#$! He had incessantly tortured her with insults about her relationship with NK.
After their marriage, Khushi had only been giving. On the night of his father's thirteenth day, she had given herself to him -- no questions asked -- only to comfort him. During the argument they had about NK she hadn't hesitated to declare her love for him openly. She had come looking for him driving all the way to the farm house with a box of kalmi kabab which she had learnt only for him. She had ardently kissed away his nightmares and listened to him when he had poured his heart out about his father.
He remembered their conversation after the nightmare.
He had never been able to forget her...
He could never love her because of this woman...
She was very hurt by his betrayal.
There was only one reason she had left him now. She believed that her mother had been responsible for destroying his parent's marriage. She was also probably worried herself to death thinking their relationship might be a forbidden one as that b@#$%^ had insinuated. And Khushi being Khushi, she had taken it upon herself to protect him from this ugly truth.
And why would she stay back and share this fear with him? He had held back the one thing she probably craved to hear. Three simple words.
He hit his hand against the bark, but the sharp stinging pain did nothing to assuage the one in his heart. As he sat down to read her diary again, it hit him. Khushi had mentioned her great grandmother's house near Dehradun. What if she was stuck in that calamity ridden state?
His heart pounding wildly, he called his mother-in-law to get the exact location of her great grandmother's house and found out that it was Govind Ghat. He called the help line numbers and heard with dread that the river flowing in the The Valley of Flowers had wiped out the valley and surrounding areas. His heart almost stopped when he realized that Govind Ghat was quiet close. Since they didn't have any information about Khushi, he decided that there was only one way to find out.
After driving through the night, Arnav finally reached Gauchar in the early hours of the day. Gauchar was the base camp from where all the rescue operations were being organized by the Indian army. He had found out from the authorities that there was a chopper headed toward Joshimath as they had just received information about many pilgrims who were stranded there. He requested them to drop him off there and that he would manage to get to Govind Ghat by himself. In spite of their strong warning not to take this risk he brow beat them into acceding. He had set out on this journey based on an intuition. He was not going to back out now.
In Joshimath, with that help of a local boy Gopal, who had promised to take him on a short cut, Arnav hiked up the slippery, rocky terrain. The landscape looked fiery in its devastation –nature's response to intruders who were trying to invade and destroy. Resilient and full of hope that each step would take him a little closer to Khushi, he trudged on.
After scaling a treacherous rocky hillock, they had finally reached Govind Ghat by midday. Then he had to walk a few more kilometres toward Gangharia. With the directions that Garima gave him, he managed to find the little house that belonged to Khushi's great grandmother. He stepped inside and smiled with relief when he saw the lamp lit by Mata Rani's idol. Khushi had to be here.
A little later, he found Khushi standing under a tree, a little distance from the house. The pain of the entire journey melted away in seconds when he saw her, looking as beautiful as ever. He had always wondered why people took so much pain to take treacherous journeys to visit holy places or climb mountains. Now he knew.