MASK ON
—9. Us Against the World
Not too long after Kenny had died and Georgia had learned about what he had dared to do to her daughter, Georgia felt the need to teach her daughter how to defend herself, just as she had been taught at her age.
While Austin and Ginny were at school, Georgia stood in their home with Alex, who held a gun in her right hand. She stood behind her daughter, who seemed to smile and feel a rush as she held the gun.
"Two hands, buttercup," Georgia told her daughter, guiding the girl's hands to help her hold it correctly, "Thumb there. Index finger right on the trigger until you're ready to pull. It's more accurate that way, and while we might live in Texas, we sure as hell ain't cowboys."
"Where did you learn how to do this?" Alex asked, turning to smile at her mother.
"When I was gonna become a Blood Eye. It was this biker gang I met on the road after I ran away from home. It was when I was with them that I met your father," She explained, both of them beginning to smile, "You need to learn to defend yourself, buttercup. And this is the best way to learn. Try aiming at something."
Alex nodded, grasping the gun in her hand. She pointed at a picture of Kenny and Georgia that hung on the wall. There was no point in getting rid of his stuff, after all. They were moving after the funeral, anyway.
Georgia smiled, noticing the smile on Alex's lips as she held the gun. She knew the look all too well. She had worn the same expression when she learned how to use a gun.
"Powerful, ain't it?" Georgia spoke up in a low whisper and Alex nodded, "Now, shoot."
Without hesitation, Alex pulled the trigger. A gunshot echoed through the home and the moment the bullet hit the framed-picture, the gasp shattered and the entire frame fell off the wall.
Georgia smiled at her daughter proudly, only to watch Alex walk over to the picture frame. "Careful, there's glass everywhere."
Her smile faded as she watched Alex stop in front of the broken picture frame. She looked down at it with an unreadable expression. She tilted her head slightly, just before pointing the gun at it once more.
"Buttercup..." Georgia trailed off uneasily, "It's already broken. What are you doing?"
Georgia practically jumped in fright as Alex shot the picture of Kenny three more times. "Alex, Alex, stop it," She pleaded, watching as the girl wasted the rest of the bullet shooting the picture.
Tears rushed down Alex's face and her chest heaved as she began to stomp on the picture repeatedly, beginning to sob. She finally bent down, taking a hold of the picture. She smashed what remained of the frame on the wall, just before tearing the entire picture to pieces.
Looking down to see Alex stepping on numerous shards of glasses while barefoot, Georgia rushed over to her daughter. "Alex, Alex, stop! Please," She pleaded, yanking her daughter away from the glass, "Alexandria!"
As Alex turned to face her mother, mascara ran down her face as her expression was consumed with heartbroken. "I hate him, I hate him so much!" She cried out and Georgia sighed, cupping her daughter's in her hands.
"He's dead, Alex," She assured the girl, wasting no time hugging her, "He can't hurt you no more. I promise. I understand how you feel. I've gone through it and never in my life did I ever want my children ever going through that type of pain so I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I should've seen the signs. I just don't know why you thought you couldn't tell me."
"You told me he was our family whether I liked it or not. You said he gave us stability and a roof over our heads. I didn't want to ruin that," Alex confessed softly, causing Georgia to freeze in place.
As she was hugging her daughter, Georgia began to tear up as guilt consumed her. A part of her felt at fault. Alex tried to tell her how much she hated Kenny and Georgia had shrugged it off, thinking she was being dramatic like Ginny always was when she got with someone new.
But Alex wasn't Ginny. She never hated on her mom for who she decided to get with. She kept her mouth shut and went with the flow, happy that her mother was happy. How could she have been so stupid and blind to see it?
___
The following day, Alex was standing at her locker. She felt like shit that day. She had felt like shit ever since she took the morning after pill but it wasn't until that morning she truly felt the side-effects.
Just then, Ginny walked over, a concerned look on her face that made Alex roll her eyes. "Are you pissed at me or something?" She asked, feeling worried, "'Cause you were super moody this morning for literally no reason. You even snapped at Austin and you never snap at him. Is it because of what I did?"
"You know, Ginny..." Alex trailed off and shut her locker. She turned to Ginny, smiling sarcastically, "When are you ever going to realize it's not always about you when it involves me?"
Alex was on the verge of walking off when Max made her way over to them, dancing and singing. "I got the lead! I got the lead! Yes, I did! I got the lead!"
The two sisters turned to Max, smiling at her. "Congrats! That's amazing," They told Max as they both smiled and hugged her.
"I'm so excited!" Max exclaimed happily.
"Yo, Max!" Abby called out from across the hallway.
Max's smile faded and she glared at them. She wrapped her arms around Ginny and Alex, leading them in the opposite direction of Abby and Norah. "Don't look. We are mad at them. What they did...bullshit."
"Alex, you coming to leadership?" Bracia suddenly called out as Alex was about to walk past her.
"Shit! I nearly forget," Alex admitted, pulling herself out of Max and Ginny's grip. She made her way over to Bracia and her friends, causing Max and Ginny to give her a weird look.
"Mom wants us at that country club, remember?" Ginny reminded Alex, who smiled as she turned to face her, "As punishment for what we did."
"For what you did," Alex corrected her and Ginny began to glare at her, "She wants you there. I didn't do anything wrong. She knows that. So good luck watching Mom flirt with the mayor."
Alex tauntingly waved at Ginny, just before walking off with Bracia and her friends.
___
That day, after leadership, Alex went right home instead of hanging out with Kaden as she usually did after school of late. She was in the middle of hiding a bag of weed she had gotten from Press between some books her father had sent her over the years.
She always told Ginny that she never read any of them because she didn't like to read books, especially when they were given to her by her father. It was a lie, though. She had read every single one of them and nearly cried as she read each and every one of the notes Zion had left her in the margins. She missed him but she wasn't going to admit that. She was still pissed at him and she didn't want to rebuild her bond with him, only to have him leave again in the end.
Just then, hearing a noise behind her, Alex turned and groaned in annoyance when she saw Marcus climbing through her window. "Are you ever gonna stop doing that?" She asked him in an annoyed tone, "I have a front door for a reason."
Marcus sighed, looking almost concerned as he stared at her. "I wanted to make sure we were cool," He admitted and Alex couldn't help but let out a loud humorless laugh.
"Cool?" She asked, laughing once more, "I'm cool. Beyond cool. I mean, why wouldn't I be?"
"Really?" He questioned as he walked closer to her, "'Cause you...kinda seem upset."
"Yeah, well, upset would be an understatement, Marcus," She snapped at him with attitude, "Well, maybe that's because this stupid ass plan B pill has me in constant mood swings. One second, I'm pissed off, the next I'm sad, and after that, I'm randomly horny. Like what the hell is that? By the way, did you know the guy is the one who usually buys it? I was expected to have a coupon too," She explained and Marcus stared at her in confusion, "Why the hell would you need to buy a coupon for that, anyway? And the whole time I was there buying it, the lady at the counter was slut-shaming me and saying it wouldn't be long before I got pregnant. And I have no idea what I'm doing 'cause I'm usually smart enough to use a condom but I seem to always be doing dumb things when it has to do with you. This whole town has me acting dumb and I have no clue why. This whole town doesn't make sense! Everything just kisses everyone and it's supposed to be the norm. And now, I learn I'm only one of eight black kids in the whole school and I was just accused of a crime I didn't even do solely because of the color of my skin!"
Heaving for breath, Alex began to tear up, which was an emotion Marcus had never seen on her before. Sadness.
"And these stupid bitches and my sister got caught shoplifting and yet, I was the one getting in trouble. Talk about racial profiling! And usually, me and my mom tell each other everything but I can't tell her about what happened between me and you 'cause I know she'll be mad at me, thinking history's repeating itself. This whole town is suffocating me and I hate it! I hate it so much. Everywhere I move to, I click at ease but this place is taking everything I have left in me and ruining it and it's slowly killing me. I mean, since when did my stupid selfish sister become popular and me the nobody? It's bullshit!" She exclaimed, stomping her foot on the ground.
Just then, Alex placed her face in her hands, beginning to cry even though she tried her hardest not to.
Marcus stared in place for a moment, needing to process what was going on. He awkwardly looked around, just before walking over to her. He pulled her closer to him, just before she allowed him to cry into her chest.
There was a moment of silence between them as Alex began to calm down from her breakdown. "You think you make dumb decisions around you?"
"Yes. My first time was the summer before seventh grade. I'm experienced with this type of stuff," She told him in a soft tone, "I know better, and yet I let you put it in me without a condom. I'm stupid."
"You're not stupid," He argued, slowly pulling away from the hug. He placed a hand on the side of her face, staring down at her for a long moment before he leaned forward. He gently kissed her and against her better judgment, Alex found herself kissing back.
A few moments had passed before Alex pulled away, frowning in confusion. "What was what?" She asked, a puzzled look on her face.
"You already took Plan B, right?" He asked her curiously and Alex shot him a weird look, "That lasts for another day at least."
"You're joking, right?" She frowned, staring at him in confusion.
"What are you talking about?" Marcus replied, not seeing it as a big deal.
"You're a dick, you know that?" She snapped at her angrily as she began to glare at him.
"I was just saying!" He argued defensively and Alex moved toward him, roughly shoving him on the chest.
"Why do you have to be such a guy, huh? Why do you have to be so selfish, so insufferable, so--" Alex snapped at him, on the verge of shoving him again when Marcus caught her hands.
Continuing to hold her hands above her head, Marcus stared down at Alex, looking surprisingly calm. "Are you done?" He asked contently and Alex's eyes seemed to soften. She was so used to people arguing back.
She stared up at him and sighed in defeat. She noticed how as Marcus stared back at her, he glanced down at her lips briefly before looking her in the eye once more. Her mouth gaped open slightly, trying her hardest to control her impulses.
"Fuck it," She whispered to herself and Marcus frowned, only to watch Alex cup his face in her hands and kiss him.
He did nothing to stop her and pulled her closer to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and it wasn't long before they moved toward the bed.
They both climbed onto the bed, continuing to kiss. They pulled away briefly to undress, only to stop where there was a knock on the door.
Alex jumped in fright and without thinking, she shoved Marcus off the bed.
"Buttercup? I heard shouting. You good in there?" Georgia called out and opened the door, finding her daughter sitting on the bed, wrapped in a blanket.
"Yeah," Alex replied awkwardly, smiling as she nodded her head, "Why wouldn't I be?"
"I made you get a job," She reminded Alex, who gave her an annoyed look.
"Don't remind me," Alex complained, groaning as she took a pillow and covered her face with it.
"It's okay," Georgia assured her daughter. She removed the pillow Alex used to cover her face. She placed her hands on the sides of Alex's face, smiling down at her. "It's okay to be mad. I'm mad at you, too, if it makes you feel better. You were dumb enough to let yourself get caught shoplifting. I raised you better than that."
"I didn't shoplift!" Alex complained, beginning to glare at Georgia from her lying position.
"Okay, maybe that time, but as I recall, you've done far worse," Georgia reminded her daughter, smiling as she leaned closer to Alex, "Or does you robbing that gas station not ring a bell?"
Alex's face fell at her mother's words, seeing as though Marcus was hiding on the side of her bed. He could hear everything they were talking about.
"You know what?" Georgia smiled, placing her hand on the side of Alex's face, "I know exactly what you need. Come on. Put some pants on and go downstairs."
Alex nodded, sighing as she watched her mother leave. Once she was out of her seat, Alex peeked over the bed to see Marcus lying on the ground.
"Let yourself out. I'm sure you won't have trouble. You're used to going through that window anyway," Alex told him and Marcus awkwardly nodded, watching her practically skip out of her room and down the hallway.
He sighed as he sat up from his lying position, thinking hard on what Georgia had said about Alex robbing a gas station.
____
When they got downstairs, Georgia wasted no time blasting the music before she began to dance around the living room, dragging Alex with her. Austin soon ran in, smiling widely. "LDP! Living room dance party!" He exclaimed excitedly and Alex turned to smile at him.
It was long before Ginny walked in, glancing between her mother and Alex, who smiled widely as they danced with Austin.
As her phone dinged, Alex stopped dancing. She looked down at her phone, groaning when she noticed how she received twenty-dollars in Venmo from Marcus with the 'X' emoji and a baby. "Freakin' prick," She muttered under her breath, tossing her phone on the couch before she continued to dance with her mother, refusing to let him spoil her mood.
Ginny watched her mother and sister intently, sighing in defeat.
Sometimes as Ginny caught her sister and mother at a certain angle, it felt as though she was looking at the same person, a person she didn't know. Two women who were not her mother and twin sister. Georgia and Alex didn't look the same but their actions and movements made it seem as though they were the same person. Their ways of living were the same, too, they were filled with so many secrets. More than any person should have. The fact that Alex was only fifteen made it even worse.
Ginny could never understand how they could ever live like that and be happy. But they were. As far as she could tell.
They weren't, though. Both women were far from happy. They had just learned long ago how to hide it behind a mask. A mask Alex always seemed to keep on.
____
The following day, Alex walked into her mother's room. She found Georgia sitting on her bed with her laptop in front of her. She was glancing at something on her phone and the moment she saw Alex enter, she turned the phone for her to see. She had no secret when it came to Alex. She was more than willing to share whatever Alex wished to know. There was no judgement, no secrets or lies.
Alex squinted, shaking her head when she saw an Instagram selfie of Ginny with Norah and Alex. "They're so fake."
"Tell me about it," Georgia agreed with her daughter, who took a seat beside her, "She'll learn sooner or later that those girls aren't her real friends."
Alex sighed as she looked downwards. Her mother was in the middle of writing a letter to Austin, a letter she made it seem was from Austin's father. She had been doing it for years and while Alex understood why, she feared what would happen when Austin found it.
"He's gonna find out sooner or later, you know." Alex reminded her and Georgia nodded.
"Let him live this fantasy while he still can," She told her daughter, who hesitantly as she watched her place a stamp on the letter's envelope, "There's no reason why at his young age he has to know how shitty of a man his father is."
Alex remained silent since she knew her mother had a point. She turned, watching Georgia click on her computer to reveal her applying for a credit card in Austin's name.
She sighed, turning to give her mother a curious look. "Is money that scarce right now?" She asked and Georgia nodded her head, looking ashamed, "Won't people find out?"
"Not if you don't tell anyone," Georgia reminded her and Alex sighed in defeat.
"You can have my paychecks when I get them," Alex offered, causing Georgia's eyes to soften, "But don't open a credit card in my name. Not unless you tell me first."
"I would never do that," Georgia argued in a stern tone and shook her head, "And you can keep your paychecks. You're gonna work hard for those. It's your money. I would never take it from you."
"It's us against the world, Mom," Alex reminded her, a serious look on her face, "If you need money, you just have to tell me."
Georgia sighed at Alex's words. She wrapped her arm around Alex, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "What would I do without you, Alexandria?" She asked in a soft tone and Georgia smiled.
"Suffer Ginny and Austin alone," Alex commented, causing Georgia to smile and playfully roll her eyes.