Clueless ✷ Isaac Lahey

By eImstreets

61.6K 3.6K 8.4K

who needs affection when i have blind hatred? ISAAC LAHEY. © eImstreets (sporadic updates) teen wolf... More

Clueless!
o. Preface━━Introducing the Gang
VOL i: Stifling and Suffocating...
i. Lacrosse is Just Soccer for Hippies
ii. Bitter, Party of Two!
iii. Scott and His Terrible Taste in Best Friends
iv. Isaac vs Sarah: Who Will Win?
v. Scarf Wearing Satan
vi. Two (or Three) Pretty Best Friends
vii. The World's Best Jawline
viii. First Rule of Fight Club
ix. Dancing Queen
x. Mediating and Moon Landings
xi. Sarah Cho, the Picture of Health
xii. Not Totally Iniquitous
xiii. We Are the Champions, My Friends
xiv. When Hell Freezes Over
xv. A Simple (Well, Not Really) Favor
xvi. Sarah and Her Cynophobia
xvii. Dog Days Are Over (Thanks, Isaac!)
xviii. Ice Clowning Around
VOL ii: You Are Falling For Me, Aren't You?
xx. Sarah Smiles, Isaac Swoons
xxi. The Art of Deflating the Male Ego!
xxii. On October 3rd, He Asked Me What Day it Was
xxiii. BOGO Scarves and Beloved Funko Pops
xxiv. Baby Bi Bi Bi!
xxv. The Basics of Playing Cupid
xxvi. Matching Halloween Costumes
xxvii. Friendly Competition and Milf Cereal
xxviii. Fruity Flirtations
xxix. It's A Friendship Thing!
xxx. Virtual Haunted House Non-Dates
xxxi. Everyone's Entitled to One Good Scare
xxxii. Woefully Underutilized Calendars
xxxiii. Pineapple Pizza
xxxiv. Prison Breaks and Movie Nights
xxxv. Sarah Cho, Resident Babe
xxxvi. Darcy Day!
xxxvii. When in Doubt: Deny, Deny, Deny
xxxviii. No Chardonnay Today
xxxix. Proper Party Attire (a Guide by Sarah)
xl. From Berkeley to Beacon
xli. What Happens on the Lacrosse Field...
xlii. The Great Trivial Pursuit Rematch
xliii. Sleepless in Beacon Hills
xliv. For the Girls

xix. Back Aboard the Scisaac Train

888 67 121
By eImstreets


(vol i.)—
NINETEEN: BACK ABOARD THE SCISAAC TRAIN

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀







group chat ━━ pls stop fighting i'm begging you
[ 03 participants ]

sarah changed the chat name to
scisaac & third wheel sarah 🌞




isaac
i thought you killed scisaac because
"scott deserves better than me"


sarah
okay well now that we're friends i
can take it back smh???

all aboard the scisaac train chugga
chugga cho cho

like choo choo but my last name is
cho so i made it more me 🧚🏼‍♀️


isaac
no need to explain sar i'm pretty
sure everyone got the joke

if you can even call it a joke


sarah
you are so rude omg i take it back i
did not misjudge you

you really are




scott
i'm so confused

why did you change the chat name

and why did sarah say you guys are
friends

oh my god am i being punk'd


isaac
oh wow

how did you figure it out


scott
i am humbly requesting permission
to know what on earth is going on
here!!!


sarah
i'm back on my scisaac bullshit

i thought i made that clear


scott
i meant with you two but okay


isaac
i saved sarah from imminent doom and
now she's my #1 fan


sarah
it's like you want me to feed you
to snails


isaac
i was just joking don't worry

sarah couldn't get ahold of you last
night when she needed help with
something so she called me and i
helped her


sarah
yes and then because i'm a super duper
mature person i extended an olive branch
to your scarf obsessed roommate and we
have since reconciled our differences


isaac
i mean

do mature people actually use the
phrase super duper?


sarah
do california natives really need
to wear scarves in eighty degree
weather?


isaac




scott
sarah i didn't even realize you called
me last night!

what did you need help with?


sarah
i was watching sami's dog because he
had an emergency and i needed to know
how to not get mauled and you work for
a vet so yeah


scott
true i do know a thing or two about
dogs

because of me working for a vet

that's the only reason


isaac
subtle


sarah
hold on since i'm actually invested in
this chat now we need better contact
names

these are almost as boring as lacrosse


isaac
so i see you're excited about coming
to see us play in november


sarah
fuck lacrosse

what do y'all even do like run and
toss balls into nets???

there's this thing called field hockey
you dweebs


scott
i love how supportive you are <3


sarah changed scott to world's greatest grandma
sarah changed isaac to SCARFlet witch
sarah changed sarah to future mrs. sharon carter


SCARFlet witch
can i ask why they're all marvel themed


future mrs. sharon carter
because i'm rewatching tfatws again
and i'm back on my avengers bullshit
isaac that's why


world's greatest grandma
haven't you already seen it like
eight times


future mrs. sharon carter
you say that like it's a lot


SCARFlet witch
only for people with lives


future mrs. sharon carter
well good then it doesn't apply to me

besides sambucky IS my life


SCARFlet witch
no yeah i think i've picked up on
that


future mrs. sharon carter
ok despite what your sarcasm laced text
implies, i am capable of unpredictability


SCARFlet witch




future mrs. sharon carter
i mean

i became friends with you didn't i

that was pretty unpredictable of me
if i do say so myself 🧘🏼‍♀️


world's greatest grandma
i don't know i'm still convinced this
is all a cruel joke on me


future mrs. sharon carter
excuse me isaac may be an asshole
but i'm not


SCARFlet witch
thanks sar


future mrs. sharon carter
my point is that scott is potentially the
sweetest human alive and while yes i
would probably prank any of my other
asshole friends i would not prank scott


world's greatest grandma
oh really

so what about the time when you were
staying with us over the summer that
you changed my netflix password and
i spent four days trying to get back into
it before you finally changed it back


future mrs. sharon carter
that's entirely different for two reasons


world's greatest grandma
which are?


future mrs. sharon carter
ok well first of all that was because you
said parks and rec was overrated


world's greatest grandma
wow. just. wow.

and the second reason?


future mrs. sharon carter
well

i didn't know you knew i was the one
who did it


SCARFlet witch
that's a really good argument

you should be a lawyer


future mrs. sharon carter
oh shut up isaac i know it had to have
been you who told him anyways

i just implore you to remember what
they say about snitches.


SCARFlet witch
how do you think the fbi agent in your
phone feels about you threatening me
with serious injury


future mrs. sharon carter
whatever everyone knows i'm all talk

i'm afraid of crickets do you really
think i'd be able to hurt a tree like you


world's greatest grandma
ok see now stuff like THIS is why i'm
having trouble believing you guys are
actually friends!!!


future mrs. sharon carter
we are

he just annoys me sometimes

but in a friendly way!


SCARFlet witch
thanks?


world's greatest grandma
this is so hard to follow


future mrs. sharon carter
scott

isaac and i really are friends now

i swear on sam wilson


world's greatest grandma
oh my god

it really is true!!!


SCARFlet witch
woah woah woah

that's seriously all it took??


world's greatest grandma
duh

sarah would never use sam wilson's
name in vain


future mrs. sharon carter
well that is one of the ten commandments
after all

"thou shalt not use the lord's name in vain"


SCARFlet witch
ok then


world's greatest grandma
alright i'm just so happy you guys are finally
friends

ok isaac i know we're already celebrating
tonight but man let's celebrate this too!
keep the good times rolling! woohoo!


SCARFlet witch
whatever you say scott


future mrs. sharon carter
scott.... sweetheart.... you are a dork!!!

but like in a good way <3

also why are you guys celebrating?


SCARFlet witch
we're just so happy that sami's corgi
didn't maul you that we're throwing
a party to rejoice in the loveliness of
your presence on planet earth


future mrs. sharon carter
as believable as it is that you guys would
essentially be worshiping me for the
night, i'm gonna have to ask you to cool
it with the sarcasm mr. lahey!!!

scott why are you guys celebrating


world's greatest grandma
it's isaac's eighteenth birthday


future mrs. sharon carter
that doesn't make any sense...


SCARFlet witch
what do you mean?


future mrs. sharon carter
well i thought that satan didn't have a
birthday? he's just always been there


world's greatest grandma
sarah what the HELL

what happened to you guys being
friends??

you swore to me! on sam wilson!


future mrs. sharon carter
and i meant it!! calm down

geez, drama queen 🙄

just because we're friends now means
i'm supposed to just withdrawal all the
good jabs that come to me??

as if!

SCARFlet witch
your "good jab" doesn't even make
sense

if you're gonna go by the bible, satan
hasn't always been there. he was an
angel first and the angels were created
when god created heaven.


future mrs. sharon carter
semantics

i'm agnostic, it's unfair to expect me
to know this stuff

and furthermore i refuse to believe
that you know anything about the bible
alright you DEFINITELY just looked
that up for the sole purpose of proving
me wrong


SCARFlet witch
aw, you know me so well

i guess we are friends <3


future mrs. sharon carter
i can practically hear the sarcasm dripping
from that stupid heart

asshole


world's greatest grandma
you guys are giving me such a bad case
of whiplash

i could sue you for that i hope you know


future mrs. sharon carter
fine fine i'm sorry

happy birthday isaac i hope you have
a nice day even though i'm bummed
that you're eleven days older than me


SCARFlet witch
thanks

i however am happy to learn that i'm
eleven days older than you

not only are you short but you're also
just a little baby!!!


future mrs. sharon carter
please come over to my house so i can
give you your birthday punches.


SCARFlet witch
that's so generous of you to offer


future mrs. sharon carter
yeah well what are friends for :)







AUTHOR'S NOTE
okay as a whole i think this chapter's not bad but i don't really like the way it ended?? it was getting way too dragged out though so i had to do something about it which is why the ending may feel kind of abrupt... also sorry about the bible stuff i just needed to set up my jokes and it took a lot of googling because apparently, despite being forced to go to church for my entire childhood, i don't have very much biblical knowledge.

     anyhow i wasn't gonna publish this because i wanted to have some prewritten chapters BUT i got a burst of inspo after i finished this and i also completed the next chapter too!! so i'm saving that one and publishing this one since i made you guys wait so long for chapter eighteen lol. oh and this is the last chapter of act one besties.

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