°°
This dream isn't feeling sweet
We're reeling through the midnight streets
And I've never felt more alone
It feels so scary getting old
°°
Harlow Dean
Red lips, a satin black dress, straightened hair, a new bottle of perfume, anything to fill me with confidence.
It's working, I feel like I'm on top of the world tonight but I can't tell whether it's just the post-breakdown relief or the fact the new heels I ordered while crying a week ago that arrived today. Retail therapy works wonders, I'm just not sure my bank account would agree.
I bought a new dress for Friday's black and white themed night during yesterday's breakdown. Do I have plenty of outfit options at home in my wardrobe? Yes, but I was sad so it doesn't count.
We've been open for an hour and a half now, yet Harry and the rest of his friends are yet to appear. This is out of character for Harry considering he's made a habit of showing up when we're not open yet because he thinks he's entitled to it, but if they're not coming then I won't complain, makes avoiding Harry a lot easier.
Bad bitch Harlow has come out to play tonight, I don't want to go all shy and nervous because of Harry so he can stay away as long as he wants, it's fine by me.
I'm happy tonight, finally feeling like myself and I'm glad. I don't like feeling down, it's so draining and tiring yet sleeping seems to be the only thing I can't do when I feel like that.
It's not often I experience men acting disrespectful towards me in my own club, but I'm a young woman in an environment where that type of thing is guaranteed so there's no avoiding it. As I was walking by one of the tables at the side, just off the dance floor a group of men at least double my age snapped their fingers at me and asked for a bottle of Prosecco. Luckily I've become quite thick skinned because of the environment I chose to work in so I just ignore the rude gesture and get them their bottle of Prosecco.
"You don't come with the bottle do you?" One of them asks, looking me up and down in the most perverted way.
It's always the white men in suits isn't it?
"I own the club you're drinking in, keep treating me like an object and you'll be barred." I threatened, the smile fading off of his face.
Why is it that men are always scared of a woman in power? The poor man is intimidated by the fact I'm half his age earning the same if not more than him, cute.
I mean I'm not one to judge, but start treating me or any of the women in my club like an object then I sure as hell will.
"What was all that about?" Demi asks as I approach the bar, placing down a glass of water for me to drink.
"Just the usual straight white man thing," I scoff in response.
Literally every woman in the club is used to the disgusting men that sometimes visit and like to make their thoughts heard, but they're easy to avoid. You just speak to the rest of the people here, the younger girl groups, the very attractive college boys, the wholesome friend groups that contain every single type of person you can imagine or the middle aged women who come to bitch about their husbands. Nine times out of ten the environment here is great, it's just a shame those men ruin things sometimes.
That's why we have Fridays. It's for charity however often masculinity is just so fragile to some old men and they can't even bare to show up to a Friday night here at the club. Maybe that's why it's our busiest night.
At the door stands four shadows, five shadows I recognise very clearly that are approaching the entrance of the club an hour and a half later than usual. Immediately the four of them head straight up to one of the free booths in the back however Harry hovers at the door, searching the club with his eyes so I decide to make my way over.
So much for avoiding him.
"Looking good tonight birdy." Harry smirks down at me.
Why am I blushing?
Stop it now.
Thank god for foundation.
"Thank you, I'll get a bottle of champagne for your table and I'll come over." I tell him, a discreet plea for him to go away and leave me alone.
Tonight Harry was wearing a pair of dark green pants and a sheer black shirt and silver rings on each finger bar two. He'd be blind if he couldn't tell my favourite colour was green and I found myself questioning whether it was intentional or not.
Of course it wouldn't be, I don't know why I'd think that. Perhaps I was secretly hoping I was correct, but that's a thought I'll keep buried deep within my brain.
Seeing the muscles in his back tense as he wandered over to join his friends really did have me questioning my morals. I hate him for being hot and annoying, it just complicates things.
With two bottles of Moët champagne I head over to their table which is already filled with drinks thanks to one of the barmen. Louis and Zayn are looking at me like I'm Nicki Minaj and their eyes follow the bottles from my hands to the table as if they're diamonds. These guys are strange.
"Happy birthday Liam, these-"
"Yeah we're fine with the cheap stuff, none of that 60 dollars per bottle crap." Louis interrupts, shaking his head in disapproval.
I mean it is your friend who is actually sitting next you's birthday, god forbid you do something nice for him. I guess he's lucky it's on me then isn't he.
"Luckily you don't have to pay for it." I smile back, causing four surprised faces and one smirk.
Harry looks good tonight...why does he look good tonight?
Why is my body betraying me like this. My own fucking brain,vagina, heart...I don't know what's controlling my sudden fascination with him but I feel betrayed.
"So you're rich rich huh?" Asks Niall, staring at me in fascination.
"She runs this place dipshit, you're not the only one with a few digits in your bank account." Harry adds, not even giving me the chance to respond myself.
Okay sure, go ahead and discuss my financial position for me Harry, feel free.
I just roll my eyes and sit down next to him, keep a good few inches between us because I am keeping my distance. I'd have sat next to Liam but he had his jacket covering the space at the end of the bench so Harry it was, sadly.
Demi wandered over with six glasses on a tray and gave me a wink as she disappeared back over to the bar again. She's fully aware this relationship is fake, I don't know why she has so much faith in it. I mean texting me eggplant emojis every time she catches Harry looking at me really is excessive.
Zayn doesn't hesitate in popping one of the bottles open, bringing a smile to their faces. I'm just impressed he never had it spilled everywhere.
"I'm not drinking tonight, I'm driving." When I say that, all five of them turn to stare at me like what I just said was illegal.
It's ironic because what I said was perfectly legal, unlike drink driving.
"Boo, you buy us expensive champagne and you're not even drinking it?" Zayn frowns, filling the sixth glass anyway.
If I bought it then sure I'd drink it, but I didn't so I'm really not bothered. I don't even like champagne that much. It's got to be the right occasion for me to enjoy it, no offence to Liam. If it's my birthday or a Friday night then maybe, however I don't celebrate my birthday anymore so the odd friday night is all.
Sometimes I drink champagne just to look cool, to look like one of those women with their life together when in reality I'm far from that. I'm just a good actress, which sounds pretty depressing but it's not when it's all I've ever known.
"All the more for you guys. None of you are driving right?" I ask, that sudden motherly, club owner instinct kicking in.
Harry chuckled slightly at my sudden change of tone and worry which made me feel slightly insecure for a second. Was he laughing at me? I don't know, but it did hurt a little because I couldn't tell whether it was sarcastic or not. Usually I'm good at telling the difference too.
It's like when somebody says something funny and you laugh, but then someone tells you that you have an annoying laugh or something along those lines. That hurts more than heartbreak.
Jesus I need to stop overthinking.
"We've got taxis booked love." Liam smiles from across the table.
I like Liam. We haven't spoke much but he seems mature, a little like Harry only Liam doesn't seem like the type to accuse me of wanting to sleep with him. The other three just remind me of the three aliens from toy story. I don't know why I keep making that comparison but watching them in the c,but for the past little while has really helped me characterise them as the type to just cause trouble.
"Well it may not be 60 dollar champagne but look what I have," Grins Louis, pulling multiple bags of white powder from his packet and immediately Harrys eyes shot to me.
Absolutely not.
I'm not gonna sit here and tell these grown men drugs are bad, I just don't like them doing it in the open in my club. You know since it is actually illegal.
"Don't worry sweetheart we'll do it in the bathroom." Niall adds, reading the expression on the face preventing me from sounding like the party pooper of the century.
I offer him a smile, unsure of whether I stay or go. I've been sitting here for two minutes so it's not very nice of me to go yet, isn't it? I mean I did gift them two expensive bottles of champagne so leaving would be justified I reckon.
They all faded into some conversation I wasn't part of, instead I remained deep in my own thoughts but Harry did it see, to participate in the conversation either. I've noticed that when I've been watching these guys get drunk Harry doesn't crack a smile much, only when it looks as if someone said something funny.
That's why I was so confused with his sudden urge to drink with me and the way he laughed at the very unfunny things I said, it showed a different side to him. A side that seems soft, much softer than the hard shell he wears normally but it coukdve just been a one off. I'm not going to say I have some magic effect on the dark evil boy because that's the type of thing that happens in books. Harry was drunk, that's why he was so happy,
...that's why he kissed me.
"I need to speak to you." Harry says, catching me completely off guard.
If six words could send me into a heart attack, it would be those six.
"Then speak." I lightheartedly joke back, however Harry remains unimpressed.
Okay...
"Not here." He says, biting the inside of his cheek.
The interior design in my office is just so amazing because Harry can't seem to stay away from it and I just kept willingly welcoming him in. Even now I was leading him back to my office, a situation that seems to be a regular occurrence when Harrys here.
I don't know why I'm nervous, what if he's calling our deal off? That means my club is back up and open to the Vultures and all they do here is cause trouble, now Owens one of them it makes matters worse. He'll just waltz back in here with guns blazing and the secret he holds against me will return. The blackmail will start again and as much as I hate it, I quite like having The Pythons to hide behind.
Harry closes the door when he steps into my office which fills me with anxiety, he didn't even close the door when we kissed. We were literally sitting on the couch kissing with the door open...thank god I'm at the end of the corridor is all I'll say.
"I'm gonna tell you something but you can't go crazy and start screaming, you have to let me speak okay?" He asks, looking at me hopefully.
My heart is racing, this doesn't sound good.
"I'll try." I smile half heartedly, the nerves restricting the amount I could smile.
"So The Pythons and The Vultures have had this war going on for a while now which died down recently but it's back on now, back on until there's a winner and one off us is no more," he explains, pausing for me to grasp what he's saying.
I just nod in response, not wanting to interrupt because I don't know what to make of a story that hasn't been fully told yet.
"Basically there's just gonna be one big fight that'll end this whole thing, but that won't be for a few months yet. There will probably be the odd fight here and there, but there will be one massive fight where it's every single person in the gang fighting." He says through a sigh.
I get the feeling there's something more than just a big fight, otherwise why would he be telling me this? Why would he be telling me this now, months in advance?
"The winner gets...don't over react okay? I wouldn't have done this is I didn't have it all planned out okay? Promise me you won't kill me right now?" He asks.
Depends.
I swear to god if this has anything to do with my club I will absolutely kill him.
"Tell me." I sternly tell him.
With a sigh and slight look of discomfort and worry, Harry runs a hand through his hair and looks me in the eye. "The winner gets you."
°°
Unfortunately my email isn't working so I'm unable to respond to your comments and messages however I'm seeing them and you guys are the sweetest. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for your kind messages and comments.
Lots of love to you all xxx