Cristina grabbed Erin and Meredith, yanking them into a supply closet in the ER.
"Teddy. Turns out she loves Owen and thought she came here to be all, you know, Teddy and Owen, but there's me, and now she's all pain and threatening to leave, and so I told her she could have him," Cristina said.
"What?" Erin and Meredith chorused in surprise.
"She's an amazing teacher, and I'm, you know, I'm happy again, and I'm... I'm in the OR and I'm feeling like myself and I... And, of course, I didn't mean it. I mean, I love Owen. I-I love him. But that means that I don't get to have her, so... Maybe I meant it?" Cristina frowned slightly.
"Okay, here's the thing, you can't talk like this. It's, like, we get you, yeah. But other people don't, so you can't talk like this," Erin said.
"I-I mean, it's... it's crazy. It's, like, um, if you tell someone their baby is ugly. You know, they know it, you know it, everybody knows it, but you don't talk about it," Meredith said.
"Yeah," Erin nodded.
"Okay, but... but you're saying surgery, right? Gun to your head, you would choose surgery over Derek and Jesse?" Cristina asked.
"I am saying don't talk about this," Meredith said.
"And don't talk about it to Owen," Erin finished. Cristina nodded with a sigh.
"What are you talking about?" Alex sighed, looking up from his cadaver. Erin looked up from where she was braiding her hair. She, Meredith, Cristina, Alex and Jackson were all in the morgue so Meredith and Jackson could practice for their Whipple with the chief later.
"She's on this thing," Erin said.
"Okay, if you had to choose between the thing you love, surgery, and the person you love, which would you choose?" Cristina said.
"You would choose Izzie, right? Because you two are gonna get back together," Meredith said.
"Shut up," Erin and Alex chorused.
"Wait, why do you have to choose?" Jackson asked.
"That doesn't matter. You just do. Which is it, surgery or love?" Cristina said.
"I want both," Jackson said.
"That's what I said," Meredith smiled.
"No, you can't have both," Cristina said.
"Why the hell not?" Jackson asked.
"Why the hell is he here?" Cristina asked.
"I said he could be in here because he's in the Whipple, too," Meredith said.
"Okay, whatever. Once again, you cannot have both. You have to choose," Cristina said firmly.
"Choose what?" Izzie's voice came. They all turned to see her stood in the doorway. "Uh, my pet scan got pushed back an hour, so thought I'd join you for lunch," Izzie said awkwardly. Cristina motioned for them to sit down and then looked at Meredith, still working on her cadaver.
"Okay. That. You have to give up that, learning the procedure, tuning out the world until you get it, like, you know, doing the procedure is the only thing that matters, like if you don't get to do it, you'll die. That's what you have to give up," Cristina said.
"For what?" Izzie asked.
"Love," Cristina, Meredith, Alex, Jackson and Erin chorused.
"Why?" Izzie frowned.
"Yeah, that's what I said," Jackson said.
"Okay, that's not the point. You know you couldn't do it. You know you'd choose the procedure," Cristina said.
"Fine! If I had to choose, gun to my head, I would choose surgery. Okay?" Meredith cried.
"Okay, well, thank you. Is that so hard to say? I don't know, why is it so bad to say that out loud?" Cristina said.
"Because it's crazy," Izzie said.
"How-" Cristina started.
"It's crazy. Surgery... it's just a job. Oh. It's just a job. It's the thing you come home from, not the thing you come home to. And if you lose your job, you get another one, 'cause there's always another one. But... If you lose your love... If you think you're losing your love... Well, then suddenly, nothing else matters," Izzie said, eyes firmly on Alex. Erin looked away, her eyes finding Jackson's.
He raised his eyebrows at her.
"This is what you guys talk about during lunch?" he said. She rolled her eyes.
"Apparently," she said.
"I'm with them. Love comes and goes. Surgery doesn't," Alex muttered. A few pagers beeped and Alex and Cristina checked them.
"Results are back," Cristina said.
"See you," Alex nodded at Erin, leaving the room with Cristina.
"You choose love," Izzie said softly.
"Yes! Just did a perfect dissection without lacerating the portal vein," Meredith gasped, doing a fist pump excitedly.
"You gonna do that little fist pump in surgery, too?" Jackson teased. Meredith flipped him off with a grin, looking back at her cadaver. "You didn't say what you'd chose, Erin," Jackson said. Erin tied her braid off, flicking it over her shoulder to join the other one.
"I'd chose surgery," she said.
"Really? I thought you and Jesse were good," Izzie frowned. Erin shrugged.
"Love, that's giving a loaded gun to someone and trusting them not to fire right at your heart. Surgery, that's saving a life and doing something worthwhile. I can't get hurt in surgery in the way that you can get hurt in love," Erin said.
"You're just dark and twisty," Izzie scowled.
"Says miss bright and shiny," Erin teased. Izzie huffed and stood up, walking out of the room.
"I'm gonna go and find Derek," Meredith said.
"Okay," they said. Meredith waved and left the room.
"You'd really choose surgery?" Jackson asked. Erin nodded.
"Yeah. Love hurts. You lose people when you love them and that hurts more than losing a patient ever could," Erin said. Jackson stared at her for a minute.
"You have a bad ex," he realised.
"I do, but that's not it," Erin smiled. "Meredith raised me. For as long as I can remember, she's been the only family I've had. And then we came here and we let people into our family and we got hurt. It hurts to let people in, so I prefer not to do that," Erin said.
"Well, for what it's worth," he started, "I would pick both. I think you could have both. You just have to find someone that you know won't shoot that gun," he said. Erin smiled and stood up, tucking the few loose strands of hair behind her ears.
"I don't take risks with guns," she said.
"Sometimes it's not a risk. Sometimes it's the right thing to do," he said wisely.
"You're quite the optimist, I see," Erin grinned. He laughed and nodded.
"Someone out of us two has to be. We're like two sides of the same coin. You're all dark and twisty and I am the bright and shiny better half," he teased. Erin laughed and walked towards the door.
"We aren't friends, Jackson Avery. Do not try and worm your way into my dark and twisty heart," she pointed at him.
"I'm already in there, baby Grey. Don't resist our friendship," he smirked. Erin laughed.
"You're a cocky bastard, too," she said.
"You know it," he said. Erin winked and left the room, heading upstairs to the pit.
"Derek's going to the board about the chief," Meredith sat beside Erin in the kitchen.
"What?" Erin yelped, dropping the cookie she was eating onto the plate.
"He found out, gave him a drink or something. Bailey and Hunt said a few things to him about Richard, too. I tried to call post-it but we can't let it happen anymore. As far as he knows, you don't know anything. He's just giving you extra lessons so you don't get suspicious," Meredith said.
"Oh, god. Oh, god, we're screwed. We're screwed. What's gonna happen?" she said.
"I have no idea," Meredith said. Erin's phone beeped and she pulled it out.
"Shit. Shit, shit, shit. I've got to go," she said, getting to her feet.
"What is it?" Meredith asked.
"Alex finished things with Izzie and he's plastered at Joe's. I've got to pick him up," Erin said.
"I'll come with you," Meredith said. She grabbed her keys and the two of them ran to the car, driving to Joe's as fast as they could.
"I'll go in," Erin said. She hurried inside, spotting Alex at the bar. She walked over and hugged him from behind. "Wanna come home and watch the Muppets with me?" she said softly.
"Yeah," Alex nodded. Erin helped him to his feet, paid his bill and thanked Joe for texting her. She got him into the car and Meredith drove them home.
"Come on. Muppets time," Erin got Alex on the couch and covered him with blankets, she and Meredith curling up with him while Meredith grabbed the remote to turn the television on.
"Hey," Erin said, stepping beside Alex, Lexie, Jackson, Percy and Reed in the atrium.
"Ahem. I want to thank you all for being here. I know you're busy, so I'll try to make this quick. As you may have heard, I have been appointed The new interim chief of surgery. It's my personal goal to make this transition as smooth as possible. I know we've had a rocky few months," Derek said.
"Here it comes," Alex whispered loudly.
"Mistakes have been made," Derek said.
"He's talking about the merger," Alex whispered.
"Shh," Lexie hissed.
"I intend to right those wrongs, and, uh-"
"Told you," Alex whispered.
"Bring this hospital back to its former glory," Derek said.
"We are screwed," Reed whispered.
"Yes, you are, sucker," Alex smirked. Erin smirked and bit her lip, looking to the side.
"Hey, look. It's Webber," she mumbled, punching Alex's arm. He looked over and they saw Richard and the board staring at Derek on the stairs.
"And, um... What I meant... Uh, by that is- what I'm trying to say is, I want to thank you for your support in advance. Uh, that's all. Okay, let's get back to work," Derek said, clapping his hands together. Arizona started an awkward clap and Erin laughed.
"Hey, baby Grey, stop laughing at me," Arizona turned to look at her. Erin smirked.
"You love me," she said. Arizona turned to walk over.
"I do," she said. Erin smiled. "I hear you've got quite an eye for peds," she said to Alex.
"Erin," Alex groaned.
"Hey, I didn't tell her," Erin said.
"Bailey did," Arizona said.
"What did she say?" Alex asked.
"That you're the best babysitter in the hospital," Jackson whispered loudly. Erin rolled her eyes.
"You're not getting into my good books," she said.
"I want you on my service today so we can see how a future in peds looks," Arizona said. "Rounds in ten. Erin, you're gonna help in the NICU today," she said.
"Yay," Erin smiled happily. Arizona chuckled, kissing Erin's cheek before walking away.
"Babysitters club," Jackson said.
"Peds is hardcore, Avery. We save tiny humans. That's better than giving someone a tummy tuck or fixing some fat guy's hernia," Erin said. Jackson raised his eyebrows and smiled.
"Alright. I'll take your word for it," he said.
"You should," Erin said. She linked Alex's arm. "Come on, Al. Peds," she said. They walked away towards the elevator.
"You and Avery, huh?" he said.
"No, not me and Avery. We're just friends and I have a boyfriend," Erin said.
"I can't see you two together anyway. Now, Robbins, I totally could," Alex said quietly. Erin turned to him with a gasp.
"What did Meredith tell you, that little snake?" Erin hissed. Alex laughed.
"Nothing. She hasn't said anything, but you just confirmed my suspicions," he said. Erin groaned.
"We're ignoring it. Nothing would happen, anyway. She's with Callie, I'm with Jesse. End of story," she said.
"Okay," Alex shrugged, a small smirk on his face because he was right. Erin rolled her eyes and dragged him along the hallway.
"Hey, I have a question," Mark grabbed Erin's hand as she got into the elevator. Jackson was in the back of it scanning a chart and Bailey, Teddy Altman and Arizona were also in there with them.
"Hey, shoot," Erin said. Arizona wrapped her arms around Erin's waist as she hugged her from behind, looking up at Mark curiously.
"Do you know anything about putting a crib together?" he said.
"Are you asking me because I'm a girl or because I had a baby?" Erin asked.
"Both?" Mark frowned.
"Well, no, I don't know how to put a crib together. I never got to that part, remember? Callie will, though. Putting bones back together, making a crib, that's the same sort of shit," Erin said. Arizona looked at Erin as she said this and Erin prayed to god that her makeup would cover the blush she knew was rising in her cheeks at how close she was to Arizona.
"Yeah, I suppose," he sighed.
"How did Sloan's surgery go?" she asked.
"Addison nicked one of the arteries but the baby is fine and so is Sloan. She was discharged a few days ago so she'll be back here soon," he said.
"That's good," she said.
"Hey, has Lexie said anything to you?" he said lowly. Erin raised her eyebrows.
"About how you slept with Addison multiple times and are acting like a hypocrite because she slept with someone once? No, she hasn't. Callie has, though, 'cause Lexie's been asking her for advice because you're being a baby and ignoring my sister," Erin said. She slapped the back of his head, Arizona giggling in her ear. Erin blinked to focus herself on Mark instead of how both adorable and sexy it was. "Stop being a sexist hypocrite. She can sleep with whoever she wants and Sloan and the baby are not Lexie's responsibility. She does not have to deal with them for you and honestly, I would've left, too," Erin said.
"I knew you'd be honest but that hurts," Mark muttered.
"Well, now you know how Lexie feels. Sort your shit out, you idiot," Erin scolded. The elevator beeped and she stepped out and Arizona's arms and onto her floor. "Bye," she waved at everyone else, disappearing down the hallway.
"Erin Grey is something else," Teddy Altman chuckled.
"She really is," the other four sighed.
Erin Grey sank down onto the chair beside the nurses desk, groaning quietly into her hands. What she was, exactly? A bisexual disaster who had a very consuming crush on her best friend and mentor, which was not a good combination.
"Stupid, stupid, stupid," Erin muttered to herself.
"Yeah, you are," Alex teased as he walked past. He grabbed her hand and pulled her to her feet, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. "What's up?" he asked.
"Arizona is killing me. Seriously. She does this thing where she touches me and hugs me and that makes my heart do a thing like I'm having a murmur and my head goes all fuzzy and I blush, Alex. I don't blush for anyone but I blush for her! I'm going insane," Erin whispered.
"You got it bad, kid," Alex sighed, ruffling her hair.
"No shit, sherlock," Erin groaned, letting go of him to step into a patient's room.
"Hey, so, Valentine's tonight. Can you make the reservation?" Jesse said into the phone.
"There's been a mass casualty. A roof collapsed, we've got at least a dozen. I can try and swing a favour to get someone to cover for me," Erin said. "You know, we don't have to celebrate Valentine's Day. You should love me everyday, not just this one," she said.
"I do love you every day, but today is the only day it's encouraged to be celebrated publicly," Jesse said.
"Jess, you know I'm not big on holidays," Erin said.
"I know, but I thought that we could go to this fancy meal all dressed up and then we could go to Joe's in our fancy clothes and get off our faces and then go home and die together," he said.
"That sounds good but morbid. I'm around death enough here," Erin teased.
"So, is that a no? Do I cancel the reservation?" he said.
"Well, I'm on call and there's a big trauma. It's easier for me to just stay here and we can have a makeup dinner," Erin said.
"If you don't want to go out, you don't have to lie about work," he said.
"I'm not lying. There's genuinely a casualty," Erin frowned.
"Erin, I know you hate holidays and anything happy but please, just do this for me. It's one meal, then we can go and get drunk and you can be back to your death tomorrow," he said. Erin sighed and rubbed her face.
"Baby Grey, need you over here!" Callie shouted.
"Jesse-"
"No, it's fine. Go. I get it," Jesse said, ending the call. Erin groaned but ran over to Callie.
"That looked awkward," she said, handing Erin a pair of gloves and a gown.
"I'm the worst girlfriend on Valentine's Day. I blew him off for a mass casualty but apparently, I'm lying. And then he hung up and I know he's in a mood but sitting by candlelight isn't as important as saving lives. He doesn't get it because he isn't a surgeon," Erin said.
"Well, just make it up to him tomorrow. Get some sexy lingerie, do your hair and makeup, let him have his way until he's happy," Callie shrugged.
"That sounds awfully dirty. I'm down. Thanks, Callie," Erin forced a smiled, joking Callie didn't catch onto the dullness in her voice. "Let's go and cut some people open," she said.
"You're a psychopath. I love it," Callie grinned, ushering her towards the ER for some trauma cases.
"My boyfriend is being a baby and ignoring me. I told him I removed a shard of glass from a guy's chest and that I'd be home soon and all he said back was don't bother, enjoy your work," Erin huffed, sitting beside Meredith and Alex at the nurses desk. "What are we doing?" she asked.
"My patient has been in love with hers for fifteen years. We're waiting to see if he says something," Alex said.
"Ugh, I wish someone would love me for fifteen years," Erin huffed.
"Why is he being a baby?" Meredith asked.
"Because he made reservations for some fancy restaurant tonight, even though I told him I was on call, and he got pissy when I cancelled for the traumas," Erin said.
"Well, he's not a surgeon. He doesn't get it. What time do you get off?" Meredith said. Erin checked her watch.
"It's eleven so I should be off. My patient is out of surgery but he said don't bother so I'm not going to," Erin said.
"That's silly," Meredith said. "If you want to spend time with him, go. He's just being a bitch because you put work above him and he'll get over it, but only if you make him happy quick. Drag it out and he'll be more pissed," Meredith said.
"Good point," Alex said. Erin groaned and shook her head.
"I'll just take him breakfast tomorrow. I'm gonna jump on another case, cut some people open and be happy, happy, happy," Erin said.
"Okay," Meredith shrugged.
"Hey," Jesse's voice came from behind Erin. She looked up from her cubby, seeing he was stood in the doorway awkwardly in a pair of jeans and a hoodie.
"Hey," she said, pulling her t-shirt over her head. "I was just leaving to come home," she said.
"Erin," he said.
"What?" Erin said.
"I know you hate holidays. I know you do. They're the worst because you had a shitty childhood, but they were the best part of mine. I grew up seeing my dad spoil my mom rotten on Valentine's, even if he was deployed. She hates Valentine's, thinks it's a waste of time, but they were so happy to just spend an entire day dedicated to each other. I want that. I want to come home on Valentine's to my kids and take them out for ice cream so they know how their partners should treat them. I want to wake up on Christmas morning and have the kids drag us out of bed so they can get their presents. I want to see the New Year in with our families, but I can't do any of that if you don't give them a chance. I know your work is everything and I get it, but it's a few days a year. That's all I'm asking for," Jesse said.
Erin stared at her boyfriend for a minute.
"When I was a kid, I asked my mom to come home for Christmas. She always worked on the holidays so she didn't have to deal with us. I asked her to come home and she said no. But I was so upset that she wouldn't be there. Meredith got me dressed and we walked to the hospital. Looking back, we probably shouldn't have done that because it was dark, it was freezing and Meredith was only ten so it would've been very easy to abduct us. But we went to the hospital and we asked her to come home," she said.
"What did she say?" Jesse asked.
"She screamed at us right in the middle of the hospital," Erin laughed, shaking her head slowly. "She screamed at us and told us to go home, that we were ruining her Christmas and that we were embarrassing her by even being there. And I got so upset. I was sobbing in the lobby, everyone was staring at us and I genuinely thought my mom was gonna stab me with a scalpel," Erin said.
"Did she?" Jesse frowned.
"No. Because Meredith shouted back at her and told her to stop being such a bad mom and come home to spend Christmas with her kids. She didn't come home but that didn't matter. Meredith took me home and we baked cookies. We nearly burnt the house down but they tasted alright. We baked cookies, we got on the couch and we watched the Muppets all night. I hate holidays because every holiday is just a reminder that my mom didn't love me enough to spend them with me. One day, maybe I'll love holidays. Maybe I'll replace all the bad memories with ones like the ones you want to make, but it's not gonna happen straight away. It's a few days for you but for me, it's a few days spent remembering how horrible my childhood was," Erin said.
Jesse sighed and sat down on the bench beside her, grabbing her hand.
"So what do we do?" he asked.
"Well, we compromise. If you drop some holidays, I'll take on others. Start small, work our way up," Erin said.
"Well, it's not Valentine's day anymore," Jesse checked his watch with a smile. Erin chuckled and nodded.
"It's not," she said.
"So, you're off the hook for today. But I want Christmas. Christmas is my favourite holiday and my mom loved having you over for presents," he said.
"Deal. If we can forget New Years, 'cause it's a goldmine for surgeries on New Years and there's nothing better than cutting open stupid drunk people," Erin grinned. He laughed.
"Deal," he said. He stood up and held his hand out. "Come on, then. Let's go home and sleep. No celebrations, just sleep," he said.
"Well, there can be a little celebration," Erin hummed, letting him pull her to her feet. "Just not the kind you planned for," she smirked. He laughed and nodded.
"Let's go home," he said.