Ray paced the floor as Schwoz, Gooch, and I scrolled through our devices reading comments about Captain Man's lemonade hatred. I was sitting at the control center while the three males were gathered around the couch.
"Ooh, here's a good one," Schwoz smiled.
"Read it," Ray grumbled.
"Captain Man," Schwoz began, "The only difference between you and a box of poop, is the box,"
I gave Schwoz a weird look and shook my head. Screaming came from the elevator, a ding, then it slid open. Henry and Charlotte stood from the ground and marched out.
"We're here," Charlotte panted.
Henry walked over to me and leaned down, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and hugging me tightly. I hummed at the embrace.
Henry pulled back and turned to Ray, "Did you guys see the news?"
"Yeah, we saw the news. Everyone hates me now," Ray crossed his arms.
"Well, why did you smash those kids' lemonade stand?" Charlotte shrugged.
"A dollar a cup is not that much," Henry reasoned.
"He didn't smash their lemonade stand because of the price," I stood, walking over to the man, "So he claims,"
Ray gawked at me with with a shrug.
"Then why'd he do it?" Henry asked.
"Because, after the little girl said 'One dollar," Ray imitated, "I noticed a spider on the lemonade stand; a red jabber,"
My eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"A red jabber?" Henry gawked.
"Those are deadly," Charlotte stated.
"I know. That's why I smashed it before it could hurt those kids,"
"Oohhh," we all hummed in unison.
"Well, then I say, who cares?" Schwoz stood up off the couch, "So what if everybody hates you now?"
"I'm a superhero, I don't want to be hated by everybody," Ray whined.
"Well, you are," Schwoz shrugged.
I death glared at the foreign man as Ray turned to Henry and Charlotte.
"What am I going to do?" Ray groaned.
"Why don't you just make a video apologizing?" Charlotte suggested.
Henry nodded at the idea, "Yeah, that's good," he turned back to Ray, "The public loves it when famous people beg for forgiveness,"
Ray thought for a moment, but then grunted stubbornly, "No, no. I did nothing wrong. I don't care what people think of me,"
Ray and I locked eyes. I narrowed them suspiciously at him, and cocked an eyebrow, knowing where this was going to lead.
After transforming, Ray dramatically swiveled toward the camera, "I'm Captain Man, and I care very much what you, the people, think of me."
I stared at the t.v with a blank face as the video of Captain Man rolled.
"So, most of you have seen the viral video of me in which I used a mailbox to demolish a lemonade stand run by two small children. Since then, I've read many of your comments, very hurtful comments, some suggesting that I should do things to myself, some of which are physically impossible. But that video didn't tell the real story,"
I glanced at Henry, who glanced back with a worried face.
"You see, I spotted a dangerous spider, and I used that mailbox to beat the spider to death. That's the truth, and if any of you were upset about the video, I am truly sorry."
Ray banged on the desk and turned around with a smile, "Huh?"
"That was perfect," Henry nodded.
"Yeah?"
"For sure," Charlotte smiled.
All at once, we all began to compliment his video.
Ray beamed, and stood out of his spot, "Hey, go online and check what people are saying about me now,"
The lot of us happily obliged and got on our devices looking through the comments of people on the internet. I slightly frowned at all the inappropriate words that flew across my screen.
"Well?" Ray chuckled, "Henry?"
Henry looked up at Ray and shifted in his spot. He hesitated before speaking, "This one says, 'Captain Man, you liar, I hate you,"
Ray shrugged a little, "Well, that's a little negative. Charlotte?" He switched his gaze to the curly haired girl.
Charlotte looked down at her tablet and read the comment, "This one says, 'Oh, please. The only reason Captain Man apologized is to make us think he's sorry."
Ray gritted through his teeth, "Well, yeah," he sighed, "Gooch, read,"
"Yo, Captain Man, why don't you-" Gooch slapped the comment of the screen and turned to face Ray, "My religious beliefs prevent me from reading the rest out loud," he stood and marched over to the elevator.
Ray shrugged him off, "Maebel?"
My eyes widened at a comment that scrolled past my screen, "You know, there are just some things potential serial killers should keep to their selves," I frowned and clicked my phone off, turning to Schwoz, "You got anything, Schwoz?"
Ray glanced to the foreign man.
"This guy just posted a picture of Ray, but he changed his head to something else," Schwoz furrowed his eyebrows.
Ray shrugged, "Changed my head?" He moved to look at the picture, "What'd he change it to? Oh! That's horrible."
Henry moved next to Ray.
"What is that?" Ray asked.
Henry gestured to the computer, "That's poop,"
Ray groaned loudly again.
I paced near the back room of Junk-N-Stuff thinking of ways Captain Man could get his popularity back, while munching on a buttered corn-on-a-cob.
Suddenly, "Ooh! I have an idea!" Charlotte beamed.
Ray, Henry, and I rushed over to her.
"Okay," Charlotte began, glancing between the three of us, "what do people want to know most about Captain Man?"
"What he wears under his man suit?" Schwoz suggested.
"Dude!" Henry groaned.
"What, no!" Charlotte grumbled.
"Schwoz," Ray sighed.
"Gross," I shuddered.
Ray turned back to us three kids, "They want to know where I live and work,"
"Right," Charlotte concluded, "So, we have a contest,"
"We have a contest," Henry announced.
Charlotte gave the boy a weird look, "And the winners get a private tour of the Man Cave,"
"Of the Man Cave," Henry pointed at Gooch, nodding in a strange manor.
"Wait," I sighed, "We can't reveal the secret location of the Man Cave,"
"We don't have to," Henry shrugged.
"Gooch will meet the winners somewhere else, put them in sacks," Charlotte plotted.
"And then he can bring them here, and send them down the tubes," Henry finished.
Echoing, "And send them down the tubes," Charlotte glanced back at Henry, "Annoying isn't it?"
Ray moved to the other side of us three, "But everybody hates me," he tossed his cob behind the counter, "Why is a tour of the Man Cave going to make people like me again?"
I rolled my eyes, "Because, you know how people are. They get mad about stuff,"
Henry added, "But as soon as you give them something new to talk about..."
Finally, Charlotte finished, "They forget they were mad and focus on the new thing."
"Okay," Ray hummed, "But what kind of contest to pick the winners?" He questioned.
"We put up a website so people can go online and try to guess some big number," Charlotte informed.
"The first three people who get it right, win," I smiled up at him.
"And I know the perfect URL for the website," Henry glanced around, "guessthatnumber.com."
"Hey," Ray smiled.
"That's pretty clever," Charlotte deadpanned, and continued to eat her corn.
Henry shrugged as if he didn't know where the blatant attitude was coming from. I shook my head out of disappointment.
***
"Well, three lucking winners will soon be VIP guests in the secret headquarters of Captain Man, Danger Girl, and Kid Danger," Trent Overunder, a newsman, spoke over the monitor.
Ray and Schwoz glanced at each other excitedly with a thumbs up. I chuckled and shook my head, turning my attention back to the news report.
"You know, it's so great of Captain Man to do this," Mary Gaperman, Trent's co-host, beamed.
Trent blinked, "I wasn't done reading the story,"
"Oh, sorry," Mary looked down.
Trent looked over at her with a scowl, "Are you? Because you do this all the time,"
I furrowed my eyebrows at the weird couple and shook my head when Ray bounced out of his chair.
"Dah!" He slapped the desk excitedly, "You hear that? They love me now," Ray ran off the platform and kicked his leg into the air, "Boosh!"
I laughed at him.
Schwoz followed Ray with his phone out, "Yeah, they didn't even mention the horrible thing you did to those kids' lemonade stand,"
"I know, hyah," Ray mocked and started to dance randomly.
I looked over Schwoz's shoulder as he scrolled Facepage, "Whoa!" I beamed, "Your Facepage has four-thousand new thumbs-ups,"
Ray laughed, "This whole VIP tour thing was the perfect idea,"
The elevator dinged open and Henry and Charlotte rushed out.
"We got to cancel the VIP tour thing," Henry rasped.
"What?" Schwoz gawked.
"One of the winners is my little sister, Piper,"
"Really?" Ray shifted his weight, "Who's she gonna bring as her guest? She gonna bring your mom?" Ray's face held a smug smile.
"I don't know who she's bringing," Henry shrugged.
"Henry's afraid that Piper's going to recognize him," Charlotte said.
Ray shrugged her off, "No, she won't."
"You're going to be in your Kid Danger suit and mask," Schwoz explained.
Henry moved next to me and placed his hand on the small of my back, "Well, yeah, but she's going to be down here with us, for, like, an hour,"
"Alright, calm down your pants," I rubbed his forearm, "Schwoz can disguise your face,"
"Really?" Henry furrowed his brows at the short man.
Schwoz turned to Henry and shrugged, "Yeah, I give you good face disguise."
"What about my voice?"
"Can you disguise his voice, too?" Charlotte asked.
"Easy," Schwoz moaned, "Look," he reached into his vest pocket and pulled out a tiny silver device. He cleared his throat before sticking it to his neck and speaking, "Excuse me," Schwoz said but with a little girl voice.
I involuntarily gave the foreign man a weird look.
"Henry? Will you help me find my mommy?" Schwoz asked.
Henry's face scrunched up, "Ooh, quit it. That's so creepy,"
Schwoz stepped forward, "Will you buy me a pony?"
I yelped while jumping back, "Stop that!"
***
I paced around the Man Cave in my Danger Girl persona as Charlotte, Captain Man, and I got the place ready for the guests. Schwoz was busy disguising Henry in the other room. The secret door squeaked open and Schwoz came running out excitedly.
"Hey, look who's here," he said, and gestured to the secret door.
Kid Danger came waltzing out with a new face. I furrowed my eyebrows at him with a smile.
I moved closer to his and cupped his face with my hands, examining the makeup, "Whoa, wow," I directed his face to get a better look at things. I smiled at him.
Henry looked confused, "What?" He shrugged.
I leaned back and shook my head, "Nothing,"
"Come on, tell me,"
I hesitated, "It's just- I want to kiss you so bad,"
Henry smirked and licked his lips, "I mean, you could,"
I sighed, "Yeah, too bad there are other people around,"
He shrugged, "Why?"
I grinned, "Because I would do a little more than kiss you," I turned around and bounced away, ignoring the death glare from Ray.
Henry stuttered over his words, "Um, anyways, how do I look?"
"Completely unrecognizable," Ray growled.
"Good?" Henry whimpered.
"Wait," I paused what I was doing and turned to face them, "What about his voice?"
"Oh, yeah," Schwoz reached into his pocket and pulled out the voice modulator and stuck it onto Henry's neck, "Now, sing the Little Pea Pod song,"
"I'm a little pea pod green and flat," Henry sang in a deep male voice, "Squeeze me in the middle and squirt out my beans,"
I smiled, knowing the plan was going to work.
Henry held his throat, "Oh, man. This is crazy,"
Schwoz patted him on the shoulder, "Henry, good luck. Charlotte, let's go,"
"Okay," Charlotte obliged.
"Whoa," Captain Man stopped them, "Where are you taking Charlotte?"
"To pick up my sister from the airport,"
I chuckled, "Your sister that looks like a horse?"
Schwoz groaned, "Yeah, that one."
"Come on," Charlotte defended, "It's not nice to say that your own sister looks like a horse,"
Ray scoffed, "Show her a pic,"
Henry and Charlotte moved to look over Schwoz's shoulder as he looked for a picture of Winnie, his sister.
"Oh!" Charlotte exclaimed.
"That is one crazy looking lady," Henry beamed.
"Her name is Winnie," Schwoz informed.
Henry and Ray busted out laughing.
"For real?" Ray laughed.
The two began to make horse noises and continued to make fun of Schwoz's sister. I gave the two a dirty look before turning back to my duties.
I watched as two burlap sacks flew down the tube and landed at the bottom.
"Hey there! We got you," Captain Man said, guiding the two down the steps.
I stood on the logo of the Man Cave and waited until Captain Man and Kid Danger were ready for the contest winners to drop the sacks.
"Okay, contest winners and guests," I beamed.
"Drop your sacks," Kid Danger demanded.
The guests dropped their sacks to the floor revealing the Man Cave. Confusion written on their face as they looked around.
"Welcome to the Man Cave," Captain Man greeted, gesturing to the room around them.
Jasper gasped, "Wow!" He ran over to the lot of us and began to bounce up and down, "I'm Jasper, remember me?"
"Yeah," Captain Man groaned.
"Why are you wearing that?" I furrowed my eyebrows at the boy.
Jasper was dressed in a black crop top with denim shorts and combat boots.
"Oh, she made me," he said, gesturing to Piper.
Piper cheekily smiled and waved over.
"Nice," Captain Man nodded, "Can you step away from me?"
"Oh, sure," Jasper crossed his arms and backed away.
I turned to the crowd, "Of course, you people all know our sidekick," I motioned toward Henry.
"Kid Danger!" Piper beamed, running up to him.
Henry smiled and spoke in his phony voice, "That's right. We're really excited to show you the Man Cave,"
Piper and Jasper's jaws dropped upon hearing the distorted sound.
"What's wrong with your voice?" Piper questioned.
"And your face?" Jasper added.
"I went through puberty," Kid Danger excused.
I furrowed my eyebrows and shook my head.
"Now, you two," Captain Man looked at Piper and Jasper, "I've met before, but..."
Kid Danger turned to the other three, "What are your names?"
The Asian couple began to giggle. I blinked at them slowly as they ran by me.
Captain Man shrugged them off, "And you?" He moved closer to the man in the yellow jacket.
"I'm Dennis, I collect celebrity socks,"
I glanced at Henry.
"Where's your guest?" Captain Man asked.
"I came alone," Dennis reached into his pocket, "This sock belonged to Jennifer Lawrence," he pulled out a pink and grey sock with beach balls on it.
"Wow, that's cool," Captain Man deadpanned.
Henry stuttered, "That's really cool man,"
"Not at all weird," I avoided eye contact with him.
Dennis began to fold his sock, "So, where do you guys keep your weapons?"
Captain Man, Kid Danger, and I all shared the same suspicious look before Captain Man shrugged him off before turning toward the Asian couple.
"We're gonna show you those later," Kid Danger reassured him.
Dennis smirked, "Good,"
I furrowed my eyebrows at him and scooted next to Piper and Jasper.
"So, are you two excited for the tour?" I asked with a smile on my face.
Jasper turned around to face me and beamed. He looked as if he won the lottery.
"Danger Girl," he giggled awkwardly, "You're really pretty,"
I pursed my lips and nodded, turning to Henry's little sister.
She smiled up at me, "I'm so excited! I'm Captain Man's number one fan!" She squealed.
I gave her a small smile, "Glad to know, Piper,"
I started away before the little girl stopped me. Turning to face her, she gave me a weary look.
"How did you know my name was Piper?"
My heart stopped. I stood frozen in place, not knowing what I should say. Seeing her stare up at me with such confusion, made me wanna melt right then and there.
Knowing I had to say something, I cleared my throat and said, "From the Galaxy Wars 9 premiere. You beat The Spoiler half to death with a glow bat,"
She processed it, "Oh, right, you were there,"
I chuckled and turned back to Henry, thinning my lips for second to tell him 'that was a close one.'
I rolled my eyes at the cackles of the Asian couple sitting at the command center. ICarly was playing over the monitor and they couldn't help but laugh at everything. The lot of us were standing in the middle of the Man Cave. The group took turns breaking a chair over Captain Man's back, since I refused to do it.
"Okay Dennis," Kid Danger said, lifting a bright red chair up and handing it to the boy, "Your turn,"
Dennis took the chair happily and swung back before pushing the chair forward and smashing it into pieces on Captain Man's back.
Captain Man groaned at the contact before smiling and saying his signature phrase, "I'm okay,"
Everyone around him clapped, including me.
"Now that you've all had a chance to break a chair on me, let's go check out-"
"Your weapons?" Dennis beamed.
I narrowed my eyes slightly, suspicious of the boy.
Captain Man nodded, "Yeah, our weapons,"
Dennis cheered, "Yes!"
Captain Man reached to something on his belt before shooing Jasper and Piper back. He clicked a button on his remote. A whirring sound erupted through the room. A block of floor came floating up, revealing a gallery of weapons. A strand of 'Whoa's caressed my ears.
Captain Man moved closer to the wall, "Now, these are some of our best weapons that Danger Girl, Kid Danger, and I use for crime fighting."
I smiled, knowing the power I held above all of them.
Dennis pointed at on of the weapons with an eager face, "What's that hot dog for?"
"Ah," Captain Man picked up the hot dog clone, "Looks like a hot dog, doesn't it?"
I stepped closer to him and started to explain it, "We call this the 'Covert Wiener,"
"Covert Wiener?" Jasper repeated.
"Yea," Captain Man confirmed, "Kid Danger?"
Captain Man held out the hot dog to the boy, who took it preparing to show it off.
"You see, he appears to be a normal citizen just enjoying a hot dog,"
Henry moaned, "What a tasty hot dog,"
I bit my lip, forcing myself to hold back at Henry's attempt to sell the weapon.
"But watch this," Captain Man said, pulling out his remote again, "Kid Danger, bad guy over there,"
Captain Man clicked his remote, commanding the elevator doors to open and reveal a cardboard bad guy.
Kid Danger thrusted the hot dog to the cardboard man, "Freeze sucker!"
An orange ray shot out, reaching the cardboard, causing the fake man to explode into a cloud of smoke.
"Whoa!" Jasper jumped over the wooden mess of chairs, gawking at the elevator.
"Awesome!" Piper exclaimed.
"Yes!" Dennis yelled.
Henry handed the covert wiener back to Captain Man.
"Yes, it's incredibly powerful," Captain Man held it up, "Any one person could use this weapon to defeat an entire army of a small country,"
"Can I see it?" Dennis asked.
"Yeah, sure," Captain Man shrugged him off.
I scoffed and gawked at the man, unbelieving that he would just hand it off.
Dennis walked away slowly admiring the tool, before jumping around and yelling, "Okay, nobody move!"
I sighed, and got ready to move in on the boy. Jasper's hands flew up, Captain Man through his arms out protectively in front of Piper and Kid Danger.
"He's got the wiener!" Henry yelled.
I rolled my eyes, "Thank you captain obvious,"
The Asian couple cackled in sync again.
"Put that hot dog down, Dennis," I voiced calmly to him.
"No!"
Piper scoffed, "You sick loner,"
Captain Man pushed her back. Kid Danger reached forward for the hot dog, but Dennis stopped him.
"Don't do it,"
Henry held his hands up out of defense.
Dennis jumped forward and pulled Jasper into his grasp, pointing the Covert Wiener at him, "Now, anybody tries to stop me, this weirdly dressed kid gets it,"
Jasper shrugged at the comment.
Captain Man slowly stepped forward, "Alright, Dennis, just relax. Everything's fine,"
"Don't talk to me in a calming voice!"
I rolled my eyes, "I'm going to shower, peace out,"
Running away, I could hear Ray scoffing at me, unbelieving that I would run out on the situation. But clearly, they got it handled, they were being threatened by a dorky kid with a hot dog.