~ Michael is me, but with friends who aren't halfway across the world. I am Michael.
Also, this is dedicated to my babe @-Mashton- since you helped with the names and such :) love you! xx /M~
Valentine’s day is closing in and everyone knows. There is no way you can avoid it, not even in the hell hole adults like to call school. You’d think that teachers would at least try to stop what’s going on in the hallways, with so many students feeling bad because they don’t have anyone to spend this day with, but no. The teachers actually encourage it, at least in Michael’s school, and he hates it.
He supposes that it was a good idea at first, having a day where you’d really appreciate the people you love, but somewhere along the way it went wrong and now it’s all about proving how popular you are and taking people you don’t actually care about that much on way too expensive dates just so you don’t come off as a loner. No, Michael’s not saying everybody’s like that, he’s just saying that most of the people in his school are and that it sucks because if you don’t do anything you’ll get laughed at.
And maybe, just maybe, he’s a little bit jealous.
~
“Michael!” Michael sighs and turns around, immediately seeing Ashton pushing his way through the crowded hallway towards him. Already being in a bad mood because of all the pink and red and sparkly shit that seems to be everywhere and that doesn’t get better when he sees the small, purple heart that’s stuck to Ashton’s shoe.
“You’ve got some puke on your shoe.” Michael tells him, watching in amusement as Ashton panics for a moment before actually looking down, only to then look back at Michael, this time looking slightly annoyed.
“man I really don’t understand why you’re so against this whole thing, it’s cute!” he says, grabbing Michael’s arm and dragging him out of the crowded hallway, stopping just outside the girls’ bathroom.
“it’s sickening! It’s all pink and no, it’s disgusting.” Ashton frowns but nods, standing in silence for a few moments before speaking up again.
“well anyway, I need help.” Michael sighs again, knowing that this probably won’t end well for him, and nods, sitting down with his back pressed against the brick wall. Ashton hesitates before sitting down next to him, trying to avoid the dirt that’s covering the floor.
“help with what exactly, if it’s drugs you’re after you’re gonna have to find someone else.”
“Jeez Michael! No, god no. I don’t do drugs and I sure as hell hope you don’t either.”
“Nah.” Michael shrugs, not really lying but not really telling the truth either.
“I need help figuring out where to take Paige tomorrow.” Michael simply stares at Ashton for a while, trying to decide if he should kill Ashton now or humiliate him first. “Listen, I know you want to kill me but Michael, we all know you’re the one who has the best ideas.”
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Ashton, but out of the four of us, I’m the only one who’s single.” Michael says, sarcasm basically dripping from his voice. “clearly, I don’t have the best ideas.”
“You had a girlfriend though, and from what I remember you took her on an amazing date.” Ashton points out.
“She wasn’t even my girlfriend!” Michael gets on his feet again, glaring at Ashton. “I took her out once as a social experiment for biology.”
“True, but Abigail liked it, didn’t she?”
“I’m pretty sure she didn’t.”
“Come on Mikey, don’t be like this. You had an amazing idea for a date and if it had been any other girl I’m sure you wouldn’t have been single now.” Michael doesn’t bother correcting him, telling him that it doesn’t matter if it’d been the prettiest and nicest girl in the world, he still wouldn’t have ended up with her. “and now I need help because if I’m gonna do this alone, we’ll end up on some shitty restaurant before watching a shitty movie somewhere and at the end of the day she’ll dump me. Please Michael.”
“Fine, whatever.” Michael gives in, running a hand through his hair. “Just...you met her at the park yeah?” Ashton nods and Michael’s quick to continue, not wanting to listen to Ashton telling him about how he tripped over Paige’s dog and almost died. “take her there, show her you still remembers it and all that. Get some food and have a picnic.” Ashton’s eyes light up when he hears this and he gets on his feet.
“You’re a genius Mikey, thank you!”
“Whatever, just stop bothering me.” Michael turns around and leaves, disappearing in the crowd before Ashton’s even gotten the chance to open his mouth.
~
Since he doesn’t have any lessons with his friends on fridays, Michael’s left alone for pretty much the whole day, something he’s very grateful for since it allows him to simply turn his music up and ignore everyone. It only works for so long though, because when he’s sitting under a tree during lunch, checking his twitter and instagram and tumblr, Calum sits down next to him, pulling one of his headphones out.
“You rip my headphones out again and I’ll rip your heart out.” Michael says, not looking up from his phone. Calum laughs, clearly not understanding just how serious Michael is, and takes Michael’s phone. “for fucks sake Calum!”
“no, wait!” Calum quickly pockets the phone, making sure it’s out of reach for Michael. “I need you to listen to me.” Michael pouts and crosses his arms, looking more like an annoyed kitten than a pissed off eighteen year old.
“well go on then, I don’t have all day.”
“actually, you do.” Calum points out. “you do because you don’t give a shit about maths and it’s not like one missed music lesson is gonna have any effect on your grades.”
“get on with it.”
“okay, so you know how it’s valentine’s day tomorrow…” Calum pauses for a moment when he sees the look in Michael’s eyes, realising just how lucky he is that looks can’t kill because if they could he’d be nothing more than a pile of ash in the grass now. “anyway, I was thinking of taking Valerie to the zoo and then to this adorable café on the other side of town, I thought that maybe we could walk there or take one of those sightseeing buses. I mean there are a lot of better cafés closer to the zoo but they’ll probably be crowded and the one I’m thinking about is pretty unknown but they have these amazing pomegranate and vanilla cupcakes and I just don’t want it to be too crowded an-”
“please stop.” Michael says. “it sounds great, really.” he can’t even find it in him to lie to Calum, to come up with some sarcastic comment, because it does sound like a great date for valentines. Sure, it might be a lot of people in the zoo but even Michael understands that it’s part of the experience, even though he’d never go there on such a day, and he decides not to mention it. “leave me out of it though.” Calum nods and hands Michael his phone before leaving, thankfully understanding that Michael needs time alone, and Michael closes his eyes, turning the volume up even more.
~
Michael leaves the music room, pushing past people in his attempt to get to his locker before everyone tries to leave at once, trapping him between the teachers on their way to their rooms and the students trying to get out of school.
He manages to get out before everyone else, but before he reaches the bus stop he’s stopped.
“Michael! Hey Michael wait!” he doesn’t even have to turn around to know that it’s Luke, and that Luke is running towards him. Michael wants to keep walking, he has had a shitty day and just wants to be left alone, but Luke grabs his hand, pulling him off to the side. “Michael I-”
“No Luke.” Michael holds his hands up. “I don’t want to hear about your plans for tomorrow, I don’t want to help you figure out where to take Luna, I don’t want to hear about your fucking love life! I don’t want to hear it because at the end of it, I’m gonna be the one you come crying to because she didn’t understand just how wonderful you are and she left you and I’m gonna be the one comforting you. Don’t you understand how this makes me feel? The three of you keeps pushing your relationships on me and, in case you haven’t noticed, I’m single, I’m alone. So I’m done with listening, so go talk to someone who cares.”
“I just wanted to give you this.” Luke says quietly, handing Michael a card. “I know you hate this whole thing but I wanted to give you something anyway.” and, as angry as he is, Michael can’t help but feel guilty when he sees those beautiful, blue eyes glazed over with tears.
“I meant what I said Luke, I do and I wish I could hate Luna because no girl will ever be good enough for you, but I’m sorry. I’ll be here for you no matter what.” he pauses, but Luke doesn’t say anything. “you know where to find me.”
Michael turns around and hurries over to the bus, getting on just as the driver is about to close the doors and he takes a seat in the front, not wanting to be anywhere near the loud kids that seems to think that sitting in the very back of the bus makes you cooler than everyone else. Now that he’s alone, he starts to feel a lot more guilty. But it’s too late to go back and change it.
~
As expected, Michael finds himself alone the next day, sitting in bed with a console in his hands and The Last Of Us on the screen in front of him. He’s been meaning to finish the game for weeks and now, with his parents out of town for a romantic weekend, he’s got all the time he need.
Any even though he’s got everything he could possibly need, he’s got food, music, a good game and contacts that could get him something stronger than just cigarettes, he feels empty, alone. Pausing the game, he gets out of bed and walks across the cold floor over to where his bag is laying. Opening it, he takes out the card Luke gave him yesterday. He never really looked it and now, after he’s returned to the bed, he finally does.
It’s red and black, with no signs of glitter or hearts, and Michael sits there for at least two minutes, just staring at it. Luke probably sat through the whole art lesson working on it, carefully cutting the black paper into pieces that would fit perfectly, creating a beautiful pattern on the red background.
Opening the card, Michael’s eyes immediately lands on Luke’s messy, but still very readable unlike Ashton’s and Calum’s, handwriting. He’s taken the whole right side to write on, leaving the left one empty.
This isn’t a valentine’s day’s card. Michael reads. Unless you want it to be, then it is. Otherwise it’s just a card telling you how much I love you and how great of a friend you are. I know you’re alone right now, but don’t worry you’ll find someone soon and they’ll see just how perfect you are. Until you do though, I’ll be here for you anytime you need someone to cuddle with. I love you Mikey. :)
And if he wasn’t feeling bad before, Michael definitely does now. Suddenly, he doesn’t feel like playing video games anymore, he doesn’t feel like doing anything. So he turns the tv off and lays down, pulling a blanket up over his head. He closes his eyes, hoping to fall asleep so he won’t have to be aware of just how much of a shitty person he is, but since the whole universe seem to be against him that doesn’t happen. He just lays there, thinking about how lonely he is, how he doesn’t have anyone and about how he’ll eventually lose his best friends because they’ll settle down and get marrieds and have kids and forget about him.
And then the doorbell rings.