Elle couldn't stomach it – that was for certain. Every inch of her being was tingling with regret. Her mind wouldn't stop replaying the night over in her head. How did she let this happen? The goddamn camera had a strap on it for a reason. She let herself get caught up. It was such a rookie mistake. Why didn't she carry her camera properly? Better question yet, why the hell didn't she ever delete those pictures from her memory card? How exceptionally stupid.
Julian was going to hate her. He wasn't ever going to forgive her for something like this. Those pictures were going to leak and she was to blame. It was all her fault, and she had no excuse for what happened.
Elle's door buzzer went off with Julian's arrival and it startled her to her feet, causing a yelp to erupt out of her mouth. She was busy chewing on her thumbnail seconds before, trying to keep back the bile in her throat, thinking of every worst-case scenario to how Julian was going to react. She didn't even have a best-case scenario to go with. They were all bad.
She quickly made her way to her door and buzzed him up before he got the opportunity to push the button for a second time.
Knowing he was seconds away from being right in front of her, face-to-face, sent a sickening chill down her spine. She was so scared. She was so scared that this was going to ruin everything. The amount of feelings she had for him was crippling. She didn't want them to be ruined. She loved him. She was sure of it.
His knock on her door was boisterous and once again, caused her to jump. The fragile state she was in couldn't handle all the surprise his presence was bringing.
She bit her lip anxiously as she tugged open the door, making sure to hold her breath so she wouldn't burst into tears at the sight of him. He stood in front of her, looking as handsome and sexy as ever, wearing dark blue jeans and a red plaid button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up and hung open, revealing his white t-shirt. His hair was perfectly manicured into his signature tuft on the top of his head. And he just looked so amazing.
"Elle, are you okay?" He asked after seeing her distraught expression.
"Julian..." She squeaked, unable to say anything else.
"It's okay, Elle. We'll get you a new camera," he said, stepping forward, pulling her into his arms as he simultaneously kicked her apartment door shut.
She felt so much guilt as he comforted her in his arms, but she wanted to feel this one last time before she told him the truth. She wanted to feel his safe arms around her, holding her, loving her.
"I'm so sorry, Julian," she breathed, pulling back from him.
"For what, Ace? It was your camera," he countered, looking at her questioningly, yet keeping all of the sympathy in his eyes.
"God," she choked out as the tears pooled in her eyes.
"Elle, what's the matter?" He asked, furrowing his brows in concern.
"Julian, god..." She croaked, breaking her eyes away from his.
"Elle..." Julian pressed, his voice more demanding, wanting to know what was going on.
"I'm sorry," she said again as the first tear streaked down her cheek.
"Elle, what is going on?" He asked, and she looked up to find that his eyes no longer showed an ounce of sympathy.
"I just... I... the pictures..." She stammered.
The two stood there staring at her for a few moments before he sucked in a breath and let it out.
"Elle, no," Julian balked, shaking his head slowly as realization hit him.
"I'm so sorry, Julian. I'm so sorry. I meant—" She apologized.
"You—they—our—those pictures?" Julian stuttered, trying to find the right words to ask the right questions.
"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry," Elle cried, wiping at her eyes once her vision blurred so much from the tears that she couldn't see clearly.
Julian's breathing heightened and seemed ragged and stressed at the realization of what it all meant. He was silent for a little while just trying to wrap his head around it. And then he looked up and his eyes pierced straight through her.
"Why were they still on your camera, Elle?" Julian asked her firmly, the words sounding sharp and harsh.
It was the most upset she had ever seen him in the whole time they were in each other's lives. As a matter of fact, she had never actually seen him this way, unless she counted seeing him acting on the silver screen - which she didn't, so it was eye-opening.
"I'm sorry. I didn't think. I forgot to... to delete them," she stammered, her head a mush of I'm sorry's that would never be enough to rectify the situation.
"You should have—God! I can't believe this," he growled, fisting his short dark hair between his fingers for a moment, ruining his perfect look.
"You were mister camera happy!" She shouted back at him, not used to being yelled at. Her self-defenses were kicking in without warning, even though she knew it was entirely her fault.
"Yeah, they were for the 'Swiss bank account of folders' on your computer, Elle. For us!" He snapped at her, his tone audacious and sarcastic.
She fell silent, thinking only of how badly she fucked up. It was completely on her. Why would she leave those pictures on her camera? There was no reason, no excuse.
"I'm sorry, Julian. I never meant... I didn't..." She sighed, feeling defeated and worn.
"What happened?" He asked, with his own sigh, calming down significantly.
"I just... I was out and things got out of hand. There was a really big group of people and we got pushed back, and I fell and I wasn't hanging on to it by the strap and my camera just flew out of my hand and... and... and Liam—" She said in a mass of run-on's, halting her words with a big fat fucking realization.
"Liam?" Julian asked, his eyes narrowing.
"Liam! Oh my fucking god!" She shouted.
"What? What, Elle?" Julian asked impatiently, raising his voice too, wondering what the hell she was freaking out about.
"I was searching for my camera on my hands and knees and just, out of nowhere, a camera was thrust in my face. And I grabbed it without even looking at it, sure that it had to be mine. And when I looked up Liam was standing there telling me to be more careful next time. And I just... I was mind-blown at his generosity. Like, he found my camera for me and... and actually gave it back. But like, I got home and it wasn't my camera. I didn't see it until I got here, and it wasn't mine and... and I've been freaking out ever since I realized what was on the camera. Julian, Liam has my camera!" She explained, feeling ten-thousand times more miserable than she did before.
"Fuck," Julian scoffed, running his hands violently through his hair, knowing just what it meant. Elle had told him enough stories for him to know that Liam was a complete snake.
"I'm so sorry," she whimpered as new tears broke free from her eyes.
"Shh, Elle. I know," Julian cooed, gripping her by the back of her head, pulling her to his chest to comfort her.
"What are the chances that he just got the cameras mixed up? Would he just give it back, without question?" Julian asked optimistically.
"Not likely. You don't know him like I know him," she whimpered against his chest.
"I don't know him at all," Julian reminded her.
"I do," she groaned.
"How well do you know him?" Julian asked, pulling back to look her in the eyes.
Her cheeks flushed immediately under his gaze as the question floated disastrously between them.
"How well, Elle?" Julian pressed, annoyance lacing through his words.
Elle scoffed to herself in a heartbreaking I-don't-want-to-share-my-dirty-secrets kind of way.
"Elle," Julian said firmly.
"Liam was the first person I ever met in... in the field. I met him at a bar... him and Charlie actually. We all became good friends and they... they both turned me on to the life. But somewhere down the line Liam and Charlie had a falling out and they weren't friends anymore. And well... I stayed with Charlie," Elle explained, feeling the heat burning in her cheeks as she steadied her gaze on the floor rather than on him.
"There's something you're not telling me," Julian pointed out right away. Elle swallowed hard, realizing the night wouldn't end without her confession – the whole confession.
"Liam and I used to... we used to sleep together... before the falling out," Elle said quietly, her mouth going dry with her words.
She heard Julian take a sharp breath in and let it out slowly.
"It literally meant nothing to me. And he's the biggest asshole on the planet, Julian, I swear. It was a mistake," she pleaded as she finally looked up to meet Julian's bewildered gaze.
"So you and the guy who has naked, intimate pictures of us have a sexual history?" Julian asked, and Elle could sense he was being a little stand-offish. He was upset and she couldn't blame him.
"I never meant for this to happen. I never meant... I should never have... I should have taken those pictures off. I'm so sorry," she cried into her hands.
"God damn it, Elle," Julian scoffed as he began pacing the floor of the small space.
"There's no doubt in your mind that he's going to release them?" Julian asked quickly.
"That's who he is, Julian. He doesn't have any regard for anybody else's feelings. He... he's just... he's in it for himself, for the money," she cried, tears sliding relentlessly down her cheeks.
"Fuck," Julian growled.
"I'm so sorry," she pleaded, looking up at him, her whole mind a mess over what happened.
"I... I've gotta go, Elle. I've got to talk to my team. I've got to prepare for... for whatever the fall-out is going to be. I... fuck," Julian stammered in a daze.
"Julian, please," she pleaded, taking a desperate step toward him. She didn't know if she could be away from him. She didn't know if he'd come back if she let him go.
"Elle, I have to deal with this," he barked, causing her to retract her step.
His eyes shot up to her, registering her timid move, and she could see the sympathy in them once again.
"Listen, I'm sorry," he cooed, stepping toward her, gripping her face gently in his hands.
"I know you didn't mean for this to happen. I just... I have to take care of this. I have to," he explained calmly, looking into her bloodshot eyes. She nodded helplessly at him.
He leaned down, pressing their lips together sweetly.
"I'll call you later. I promise," he told her as he pulled away.
She nodded again, but he didn't see her because he was already at the door, throwing it open.
Without another word, without a goodbye, he disappeared out of her apartment. And with everything in her, she hoped it wasn't for good.
...
Hours passed and Elle lay lifeless in her bed trying not to cry, trying to focus on her breathing. Her heart hurt, her eyes hurt, her brain hurt, her lungs hurt, her stomach hurt – everything hurt. She sent a text to Julian about an hour after he left her apartment and he sent one back immediately saying he couldn't talk because he was in a meeting with his team. She hadn't heard a word since. It was nearing four o'clock in the morning and she still hadn't got the call he promised.
By the morning, by the time the sun had sprung through the window panes of her tiny apartment, Elle was scouring the internet for any signs of the pictures, but there was nothing. Either Liam hadn't found them, or he was waiting for the precise time to take her and Julian both down.
Elle knew in her heart of hearts it was the latter that would win out in the scenario. There was no way this was an unintentional swapping of cameras. Liam always had a motive and rarely ever slipped up. He was cunning and callous and a snake in every sense.
Sometime during the day as Elle laid in her bed, in and out of consciousness, there was a loud knock at her apartment door. She almost wanted to ignore it and not even bother to get out of bed, but a prickling of hope inside of her told her it was Julian coming to finally talk to her, to explain to her what had been going on since they last spoke.
Elle pulled herself out of the bed just as a second knock erupted through the silence.
"I'm coming!" She shouted, twisting her tank top and shorts back into their original position on her body, instead of the way all the tossing and turning left them.
She swiftly unlocked her door and pulled it open as hope bubbled up inside of her. And in an instant all those bubbles were popped when she saw Charlie's scowling face in front of her.
"Oh, it's you," Elle grumbled as she turned and walked back toward her bed.
"'Oh, it's you?' Really? Thanks," Charlie said sarcastically as he walked in, shutting the door behind him.
"Sorry. I've had a rough night," she sighed, flopping back down on the mattress.
"I can see that. What were you and Romeo doing all night?" Charlie asked suggestively.
Her stomach tied in knots at the mention of Julian, feeling immediate tears prick in the back of her eyes. She cleared her throat to stifle them, rubbing her fists into her eye sockets to wipe them away.
"Or... what happened?" Charlie asked as concern washed all over his face, looking at her distressed features.
"I fucked up," she choked out, feeling nothing but despair.
"Uh, I might have something to cheer you up," Charlie said, digging in his messenger bag.
She watched as he pulled out a camera – her camera!
"CHARLIE!" Elle shouted, scrambling out of her bed to grab the camera from his grasp.
"I knew it would make you happy," he chuckled, beaming a smile at her.
"Holy shit! Where did you—how did you—where did you find this?" She stammered as relief flooded her whole entire body.
"You'll never guess," he replied, smirking at her.
"Not in the mood for guessing games, Charlie," she said, shooting him a look.
"Liam," Charlie said, smiling proudly.
Her heart dropped into her ass. Liam. He did have her camera all along.
"What—how... he just gave it to you?" She choked out, feeling entirely skeptical.
"Yeah. He texted me this morning and said he found your camera, accidently switched it with his or something and he didn't know how to get ahold of you," Charlie told her. Elle stood there staring at him blankly.
Were Liam's words true? Did he just accidently switch them? Did he even look at her footage? Oh, god. She hoped he didn't. She hoped Liam located an ounce of decency in his hollowed out body and really only accidentally mixed up the cameras.
Elle moved quickly to her laptop, popping out the memory card from her camera in the process. She shoved it in the appropriate slot of her computer and waited as the pictures all popped up one-by-one. They were all still there. She was filled with relief once again, feeling that just maybe the shit wasn't going to hit the fan on this one.
Without hesitation, she deleted each and every racy frame off of the memory card, not wanting to ever go through something like this again.
"What has got you going?" Charlie asked, looking at her oddly.
"Nothing. Just, nothing. I'm just so happy to have my camera back," she told him, refraining from filling him in on the indecent picture collection that almost fell into the wrong hands.
"So, listen. I told Liam I'd get his camera back, too," Charlie told her.
"Oh, yeah. It's... it's over on my desk," she said, closing the top of her laptop, nodding her head toward it.
Charlie spotted it, grabbed it up and placed it in his messenger bag.
"Glad I could make your day, Elle," Charlie said with a smirk.
"I'm glad you could too, Charlie. You have no idea," she sighed, feeling like she completely dodged a bullet.
"I'll see you around then? You going out tonight?" He asked curiously.
"I think I might sit this one out," she told him, still feeling queasy over the situation.
"Lunch soon then?" He asked hopefully.
"For sure," she said, giving him a weak smile.
"Cheer up. Your life has been returned to you," Charlie advised, smiling as he pointed to her camera.
"Yeah," she sighed, smiling and nodding at him.
"I'll see you later, Elle," Charlie chuckled as he turned toward the door.
"Bye," she said and watched as he left the apartment.
Elle grabbed her phone off the nightstand and quickly sent Julian a text.
My camera has been returned, pictures and all. :)
But she got nothing in return, and she was certain things were irrevocably different between them already.