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Ch - 57
Sidharth's hands left the contact of her skin as soon as he heard the words escaped from her mouth... Brows narrowed, for a second he didn't get what exactly she said or can say he don't want to get the point.. She is asking him to do the thing which he hates the most in today's time..
He can never go back to the thing which once snatched his everything from him, being the reason of her lifetime pain, the reason because of which he is a monster today. He still remember the day when broke his own guitar from these hands of him which now love to hold weapons rather than any artistic things.
But he still kept it on the store room, because never wants to forget what that bloody music do to him. She knows all these very well, but asks for something which is impossible for him to give. He now understand very well that she is doing all this deliberately but the thing she don't know that no matter how much she try to bring the old sidharth, it will never going to happen.
None come after death and that sidharth was also died years ago. He can be soft for her but the main thing is that..its, only for her. He will always be the same monster for the world. Sana look at his face which suddenly lost the shine, the glow...she cursed herself for being the reason of snatching that smile from his face...
But also know that its needed to erase that smile for sometimes in order to give him a lifetime happiness.. Its very much needed for him to come out the hate, which is never true.. He somewhere still think himself the reason, which causing him creates extreme hate for the music.
Taking a long breath she hold his that hand which is rest on her lap and says, "What are you thinking?" Closing eyes he looks at the other side and says, "Obviously not what your ears wants to hear." She knew very well this will come but not going to pull back because if he is stubborn that she is the queen of stubbornness which is also known by him very well.
Narrowing brows she says, "And what i want to hear?" He free his hands from her and going to leave when she says from back, "Tumhe meri kasam sidharth come and sit here, don't run from things everytime." Fisting hand he going to hit on the wall but stop again due to her voice, "Don't dare to harm yourself, you know very well what will be the consciousness after that."
Groaning he come near to her and yells, "What the fuck you thinking of yourself?" Smirking she lean on the bedpost and says, "Stubborn shehnaaz gill shukla." Sighing he sat on knees in front of her, bow down his head and says with a slight chocked voice, "Try to understand naaz, i can't... Please..don't force me."
Taking a breath she lift his head up and says by cupping his face, "Because you still think that it's the reason of your demise which is completely wrong. The music was not the reason, this cruel world was the reason who can never saw someone live happy." Shaking head he says,
"Whatever you said but still the reason was my fucking obsession about that thing, which brings darkness in my life." Colliding brows sana says, "That fucking thing was your mother's dream, a dream that she wanted you to complete." He suddenly look towards her eyes in a jerk, the angry frown turns into soft one.
The memories of his early life starts coming in front of his eyes, how the very first time his mother teach him to hold that guitar. How she used to wake him up early morning for music practices, how prohibited him to have any thing which can caused him catching cold.
How she used to told that, she can't able to fulfill her dreams because of some reasons but the day he first randomly sang some lines, she started crying in happiness by saw her lost dream in him. Start thinking that he would be someone which she can't able to, from that day he also dreaming about the same thing until that stormy day came which snatched his reason of choosing that dream.
In grief he himself broke the guitar, which is gifted by his mother. Sana's eyes are also welled up by seeing the wetness on his olive ones, the pain rises on her chest but know very well that it not in a inch close in front of the torment he is bearing. Taking a long breath she wipes the tears from the corner of his eyes and says,
"I am sorry for again pushed you to that memories but sidharth, you told me she wants you to sing. Remember i told you something that day,..our love ones will never leave us, they always there to watch on us. Still wants the best for us, wants to see us happy and by torturing ourselves we not only give us pain but also to them whom we love, who love us."
"Once you choose music as your dream because of mother but leave it in the middle after loosing her. Why? Is it good to kill her dream with her? Can't you live the dream for keeping her alive always with the music? I know it's not possible for you to continue it after whatever happened, but it's not needed to hate the music like this."
"I am saying again, it's not the fault of your music, and those who were in fault you already give them the punishment. You can keep your mother alive for forever in the form of music, remember the twinkling star. She'll be more happy by seeing you holding that guitar again where she made that love and written sidharth with all of her love."
"As soon as you repair the broken strings it will healed that broken strings which is scattered inside you. Trust me for one more time sidharth, accept music again in your life. It's only sound good in phrase that an only iron sharpens iron, but in real."l A hatred can never erase by hatred.".
"Only love has the power to transform hatred, only light has the power to bring brightness in the dark room, only water can stop the fire, only ink can filled colour on the white paper. Remember you hold my hand that day, will you please again hold it again and come with me. He looks at her with red teary eyes, all her words are ringing on his head."
"Her mother face is come again and again, which is smiling soulfully by saw him with the guitar. He hold her hands which is placing on his cheeks and says, "Naaz...i can't..nor that i not wanted to..i understand each and every thing you said but..trust me its not easy.. I am being away from m..from music since twenty two years, i hate it...but you are right"...
"I still remember the happiness on my mom's face whenever she saw me playing. I want her to give the happiness again but see.. My hands are shaking... I am fucking shivering.." She hold his shaking hands and says by placing her lips on his forehead, "I am here sidharth, trust me you can"..
"you the one who always says that nothing is impossible for you, then prove it..be my stubborn sidharth who takes what he wants anyhow..Come with me.." Nodded he hold her hand , both get up by intertwined fingers with each other and start walking towards the store room where his memories of early life locked.".
"He digged his fingers more into her skin when reached near the door, heart start thrashing inside his chest, quiver runs to his whole spine. Gulping saliva he look at sana and says, "It's tuff..." Nodded in no she hug him from side and says, "Not for you, not when i am with you. Open the door."
"Closing eyes he draw a deep breath and open the door with shaking hands. Sana tightened her hold on him and starts walking inside slowly, she turns the light on.. Both look at the corner where the guitar placed. Sighing she starts going ahead but find him stand still at his place, eyeing towards the guitar by holding thousands of emotions inside him.
Cupping his face she placed her lips on him, not for kissing , she just try to assured him by the touch that he is not alone. He close his eyes as soon as feels her touch, the magical like always make him forget everything, every storm that regurgitate inside him.
She says by not moving her lips from his, "Just remember the time when you first hold that guitar, not anything else what happened after that. Open your eyes and move ahead sidharth." She pulled back and again hold his hand, he look at her once and start taking slow steps towards the table.
Heart beats are rising with every steps, but her hold is capable of calming those storms down. He is just staring at the guitar with moist eyes, there's a dust above his name and the heart. With shivering hands he touch it and all controlled tears start flowing from his eyes, she keep placing kiss on his arms.
Biting lips he trace fingers on the heart, love, name, broken strings, tunes..
Hold the guitar from both hands just like the way he does, a slight smile crept on his lips. Sana also has tears of happiness on her eyes, he look at her and says in childish tone, "See, i am holding it again without shivering. Just like the way mom wants me to, you wants me to." Smiling she nodded and says by wiping his tears, "And soon you'll play it also."
He looks at the guitar again and pulled her into a bone crushing hug, the guitar is also not left from his hand, "Thank you naaz,." She placed kiss on his chest and says, "Say i love you naaz rather than thank you." Smiling he digged his face more into her shoulder and hug her as tightly as he can.
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