"I mean, how dense can he be?" I ranted, pacing back and forth across the flooring of the roof. "Why the fuck would I want to go with him to San Diego after five years of not seeing him face to face, once?" He called every three months. Just to make sure I'm still alive. He wouldn't call again for another three months. I started counting when I was 10. I got fed up with waiting for him to come home, after three years, and I couldn't be bothered to pick up the phone most of the time. It was a fluke that I even answered last week. God, I wish I hadn't. Maybe then he and the rest of them would never have come. I took in a big breath of smoke, enjoying the burning sensation in my chest for a moment.
Me and Jackson had been on the roof for an hour now. When we got back to the car, after leaving my apartment, Amber and Clay were fighting, probably about something stupid, so the two of us opted to come here instead of waiting with them to go to the boardwalk. I had lost my appetite for pretzels and beach walks anyway. "He's insane if he thinks I'm going with him."
"You should," Jackson hadn't said anything since I started my rant about all of this. He had been silent, and contemplative as I spoke, which now that I had stopped talking for a second, I was growing a little suspicious of. "You should go with him." He said softly, sucking in a breath of his own cigarette.
I stopped pacing, and looked at him with raised eyebrows. "What?" I asked.
He shook his head. "There's no future for us, Flick. Not here. Not in this city,"
I crossed my arms over my chest, suddenly feeling defensive. "Why would I go with him?" My cigarette hung from my lips. I grabbed it and pressed it against the cement behind me, putting it out before I burned myself. Jackson didn't say anything for a moment.
He flipped his cigarette between his fingers absently. "You should go with him. Get out of here while you have the chance. Flick, we're kids. Fuck, it's hard to remember sometimes, but we are. And this...this isn't right. Smoking cigarettes at 12, hiding on roofs from our families, skipping school because we can't deal with it," I stared at him with a gaped mouth. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to feel "I-it isn't right, Flick. It isn't right,"
I shook my head, looking away from him. "So you want me to leave." I would rather think that than think he was right.
Jackson sighed, dropping his cigarette to the concrete. "No, I want you to never leave and I want everything to always be like this and I want for all of us to grow up and be okay. But what I want, isn't always what's right. Flick, you have an opportunity to get out of this city. Get away, even for just a week and be something other than childhood tragedy."
I tried to glare at him, but even I knew my anger was misplaced. Just because it isn't what I would like to hear, doesn't mean it wasn't true. "But I would have to leave you," I reminded.
He sighed deeply. "You'll leave me one day. And I'd rather it be this way than in a casket."
My eyes widened again. I sat down on the edge of the roof and tried to decipher what he was trying to say. "You think I'm gonna die?" I asked slowly.
"We're becoming our mothers, Flick!" He yelled louder than I had expected. I jumped a little, watching as he stood up and took my place pacing back and forth across the length of the rooftop. "We're on a path to being self destructive, depressed, drug addicts just like our goddamn mothers. Is that what you want?"
"No, of course not."
"Then fucking do something about it. Get out for a week, get away from this shit hole, and find a reason to not be your mother. And if you can't, I'll give you one. Because holy fuck, I won't let it happen." He had a tear running down his cheek as he seemed to become more frantic. "You know what I caught Nick doing last night?" He sniffled. He was still pacing rapidly back and forth. "Heroin. Fucking heroin, shooting up in our bedroom just like our goddamn mother. You know fucking bad that hurts? To know I'm going to lose him to addiction too?"
"Oh Jackson," I stood up but he shook his head and kept walking.
"I won't lose you Flick. Not like that. But if we keep this shit up, that's what'll happen. When the cigarettes don't do it anymore, I'll lose you too, and I can't do that."
"Jackson." He stopped and turned to me with tear filled eyes and damp cheeks. I sighed and pulled him into my arms.
"I can't lose you Flick. I can't. Please don't do this to me." He whimpered softly. It's been a long time since I've seen Jackson cry. Years, it seems. Neither one of us really ever had a reason to cry. We'd accepted our lives as they were a long time ago and no tears would change that. So seeing him like this, killed me. My best friend who puts up with all of my shit like no one else, and I didn't even ask him what was going on in his life. He didn't tell me, but I should have asked.
"Jackson, I didn't know, I'm so sorry." I whispered to him. He buried his face into my shoulder and squeezed me to his chest tightly.
"Don't be sorry. Just make the right decision."
I sighed. "Is going the right decision?"
Jackson nodded against my shoulder. "It is Flick. I promise you it is."
I didn't say anything. Just held him a little tighter and let him cry softly just like he had done for me yesterday.
"I love you Flick. So goddamn much."
I kissed his cheek gently and pulled away to look at him.
"I love you Jackson."
-FLICK-
"I heard you're coming back to San Diego with us,"
I jumped out of skin when I heard Cameron speak from the kitchen. "Jesus christ, are you trying to kill me?" I grunted, dragging my tired body the rest of the way into the apartment. I hadn't expected anyone to be awake. It was nearly 4 AM now. I stayed on the roof as long as I could, trying to avoid coming home to them. Jackson had offered to let me sleep at his place but I needed to do this. I just thought I could wait until morning.
"So, are you?" Cameron asked, ignoring what I had said. I rolled my eyes in the dark and walked over to the fridge, grabbing another gatorade from the package.
"I guess." I muttered stupidly. "Nothing better to do here."
I could see Cams smirk even in the dim lighting provided by the street lights outside. "I thought you hated us?" He teased.
I slammed the fridge shut and glared at him. "I fucking do. I don't have a choice, asshat."
Cameron clicked his tongue in mock disapproval. "Such vulgar language for a young lady," He taunted. "We really will have to do something about that."
I glared at him again. "Oh really?" I challenged, walking around the granite counter so I was face to face with my brother. His smirk dropped when I landed a swift kick in his pants making him double over in pain. "Do something about that." I smiled sarcastically and turned to leave, only to be met with a tired looking, disapproving Emil and a wide, sleepy eyed Wren.
"Did you just kick him?" Wren asked, trying and failing to stifle a laugh.
I nodded, grinning proudly. "He was being an asshole. Someone needed to do it."
"Fuck you Felicity." He groaned from behind me.
I clicked my tongue in mock disapproval. "Such vulgar language for a young man. We really will have to fix that."
He stood up, ready to lunge at me, but Wren caught his shoulders before he could. "Okay, okay, let's all just settle down, yeah?"
"What's going on here?" Noel asked, poking his head in the doorway, seeming also very groggy and half asleep. Cameron must have yelled louder than I thought he did to have woken up all of them.
I looked up at him with a wicked smile. "I kicked Cam in the balls." I declared.
Emil glared down at me. "Don't be so proud of that." He said sternly.
I shrugged. "But I am proud of it."
Noel burst out laughing at that. "
It's not funny, you dick!" Cameron yelled, from the table Wren had helped to get him sitting at. "That fucking hurt."
"Sorry, Cam, but that's really funny." Noel turned to me with a smile. "Good job, Flick." He held his hand up for a high five but Emil grabbed it before I could accept.
"Don't encourage her." He grunted.
I laughed to myself and shook my head. "I'm going to bed." I said, stepping around Emil and Noel.
"Wait, Flick, I wanted to ask you something." Emil said. I sighed dramatically and turned around.
"What do you want?" I said snappily. I may have been laughing a moment ago, but I was far from over my anger at any of them. Especially Emil. As far as I'm concerned, he's the biggest asshole of them all. Demanding that I come with him to San Diego as if he actually got a say in anything I fucking did ever. He forfeited that right when he left five years ago. The rest weren't much better, but he and Emmet were the ringleaders of this bullshit. I blame them for all of it, if only for giving me false hope more than anyone else ever has.
"Well, you didn't exactly react well to Noel showing up, so I figured I'd ask you before I said yes."
I crossed my arms over my chest, hoping he wasn't saying what I thought he was. "Say yes to what?" I asked slowly. He scratched the back of his neck, seeming a little nervous.
"Well, Jules, Emmet and Lily wanted to come for Christmas but I said only if it's alright with you." I pursued my lips.
"Sure just invite the whole fucking world to come stay in my apartment. That's fine." I rolled my eyes, turning around to go back to my room.
"Is that a yes?" He called after me.
"Have fun sharing the couch." I yelled back, slamming my door.
I hope Jackson knows how much I love him, to be willingly putting up with these dicks for the next week.
And god do I love him.
A/N-I know none of you saw that coming. I love Jackson to the moon and back. Honestly, he is one of my favorite characters I've ever written and I love a good side character with a story. I also adore Flick. She's fun to write mostly because she's the opposite of my other character so it's a nice contrast.
Also I started some character accounts on instagram (go follow me at evam224wattpad and you'll find the rest of them) and I was thinking of starting some for this story as well. I would love it if you all could go check out what I've done so far (with the help of some incredible people on instagram) and let me know what you think.
Thank you for 30k on this story. I love each and every person who decides to support me on this app and anywhere else. This app and the community I've managed to become a part of really has been the highlight of last year and now this year. Thank you so much.