After napping for a while, Regulus was woken up and joined everyone downstairs for dinner. Apart from checking to make sure he was okay, no one really said anything. Regulus was glad, he didn't want to explain himself. He hadn't even told Sirius all the horrible things their mother said to him.
Once dinner was finished, Regulus retreated back to the library, avoiding the questioning gaze of James. He could wait. Instead, he spent five almost two hours sat in his chair, observing the tall shelves of books and peeing out of the small window. [Books before boys am I right?]
At 11, Regulus walked back upstairs. James was laying in bed, scrolling through his phone. "Hey, Reg," he said as Regulus sat next to him.
"Hey."
"You feeling okay?"
Stop caring so much.
"Yeah. I'm just tired."
James turned off his phone and switched the lamp off, rolling over to face him. "Get some sleep then."
"I don't think I can."
James thought for a moment. "Well at least just lie here and relax."
Regulus nodded and watched James close his eyes and turn back over.
Why does he care? I don't get it.
I don't understand why he kissed me, or why he helped me with my hand.
I want to tell him... everything.
I want to tell him what my mother said.
So why is it so hard?
I just... I want to understand.
Regulus heard the duvet shuffle beside him and warm skin brush against his uninjured hand. Fingers intertwined with his own and he turned to peer at James questioningly.
"Stop overthinking everything, Reg."
"How did you..."
"I could tell by the way your breathing got shallower. You do that when you're worried." Regulus looked at him in shock, a thousand questions running through his head. "I noticed it that day in the pool. When you were uncertain about going in."
He noticed something that little?
"You pay that much attention to me?" Regulus asked.
James' eyes locked onto his. "Of course I do." He said the words as if they were a simple explanation. As if it made everything clear and answered every question Regulus had. Instead, it just made him more unsure. "Now go to sleep, alright? The last thing you need is to be stressing over whatever is on your mind."
Regulus nodded and sighed. James gently squeezed his hand and let go, pulling the covers over them. He closes his eyes and sunk into the pillows. Regulus stayed watching him for a moment, his hand feeling empty and cold all of a sudden. He reached out and joined their fingers together again.
Regulus stroked James' knuckles with his thumb and whispered a quiet goodnight, not failing to notice how a small smile appeared on James' face as he spoke.
It may not have seemed like much- a simple goodnight- but James knew it was Regulus' own way of saying 'I trust you now.'
Something I've never been able to do.
***
Regulus clenched his fists and rolled his eyes. "Just drop it, James. Please."
"No."
"You're so infuriating!"
"Come on, Regulus. You can't just avoid me. I care about you!"
"Yeah, well, you shouldn't," Regulus yelled.
James rubbed a hand over his face and sighed. "I just want to understand, you have a breakdown, hurt yourself, and then try to avoid me. I thought we were getting somewhere."
"Just leave me alone!"
"Stop trying to push me away." James looked hurt, and it made Regulus feel guilty.
"Please. Just stop."
"Fine. You know what fine! If you wanna be mopey and sad and alone, then fine. I've spent the past two days trying to help you, and you keep turning me away. So you know what, I'm done."
"Good," Regulus spat, throwing himself onto his bed. Anger coursed through his veins.
"Good," James echoed, also getting into his bed with an exaggerated huff.
Regulus didn't even understand himself why he was so mad. He knew James had only been trying to help. Ever since Regulus hurt his hand James had been pestering him to tell what happened. How do you tell someone your abusive mother sent you hateful messages and you couldn't deal with it anymore? You couldn't. And James' insistence was annoying him.
So, Regulus being Regulus decided to take it up with James. In their room, at 10 pm. He was glad for the thick walls because even though they were trying hard not to be too loud, Regulus couldn't help but feel the whole house could hear them.
Regulus shuffled around in bed and tried to fall asleep. There was rain falling heavily against the roof. Sometimes, Regulus found the rain comforting, it was background noise. There would be heavy showers back home, and he'd sit with his head resting against the window, listening to the sound of raindrops on the glass.
Now it was just irritating. Another thing keeping him awake.
I want to smoke.
Regulus huffed and re-adjusted his pillow.
And I also...
Want...
To sleep...
***
Thunder boomed outside and Regulus shook awake. He sat up and took in a few deep breaths.
Fucking thunderstorms.
Regulus tried to calm his heart rate and took in a few more deep breaths, but then there was another loud crash and he jolted. The duvet dropped around him and Regulus walked cautiously over to James' bed, trying not to jump at the slightest sound.
James was spread out like a starfish, mouth slightly parted and hair even messier than normal. Regulus leaned over the sleeping boy, nudging him with his arm. "James?" he whispered. "James..."
After a few moments of prodding and poking, James finally stirred. "Regulus?" His eyes opened slightly and he stared questioningly at Regulus. "What's wrong?"
A loud clap of thunder caused Regulus to shake violently and he squeezed his eyes tight. "I, erm..." he opened and locked eyes with James, who had sat up a little more.
"Hey, It's alright." James moved over, freeing space beside him, and then lifted the covers. Regulus looked uncertain but climbed into bed next to him anyway.
"I'm sorry for waking you up," he muttered.
"It's okay. Thunder used to scare me as a kid. I know what It's like." James smiled at Regulus before closing his eyes. But Regulus still couldn't fall asleep.
"I'm sorry, James," Regulus whispered quietly. He felt James reach out and arm and pull him closer by the waist. They were both laying on their sides, Regulus' face inches away from James' chest. "Shhh. I know. It's okay, Baby Black." Regulus shuffled closer so that his body was pressed right up against James'.
He took in a deep breath and relaxed. The thunder didn't sound so loud as he laid in James' embrace. James leant down and pressed a kiss to the top of Regulus head. "Are you feeling better now?" he murmured sleepily.
Regulus nodded and James' hold tightened. "Good."
There was silence, but Regulus still couldn't completely settle. "Thank you."
"You don't need to thank me, Reg."
Regulus turned his head up to look at James' face. His eyes were open and watching the younger boy carefully. Tiredness intoxicated Regulus' brain, and without thinking, he leant forwards slowly. Gently, he pressed a small kiss to James' lips, before pulling back and smiling slightly. "No, I really do."
Regulus shifted back down and curled into James again, focusing on the feel of warm fingers brushing his lower back.
__________
Just some cute fluff because I was feeling sad today and needed to cheer myself up. Please let me know if there are any mistakes :)