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[6. Vultures]
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—Same year, March—
I knock on the door to Jungkook's house once again, testing the handle to see if it's already open. I find that it is, and quietly slip inside, though it wouldn't have mattered if I banged it open; everyone is being so loud that they haven't even been able to hear my incessant knocking, those idiots. If my guess is right, then the people waiting in the living room are Jungkook and his best friend Hoseok as well as Jungkook's older brother Jin and his best friend Namjoon. Taehyung won't be here, since he has been distant ever since mine and Jungkook's relationship was revealed. I cast aside the thought, focusing on the present again.
I'm not surprised to also hear a female giggle amongst the boys' laughter. I mentally groan at the thought of having to deal with her tonight. I thought I would be blessed with her absence for the day as it's Saturday and no school, but no, of course she's here.
Sangmi.
Even thinking that name makes my insides boil.
But I have to act nice. She's a close friend of my boyfriend, and if I was rude to her, it would put him in an uncomfortable position to have to pick a side.
And I don't know who he'd pick.
Of course, he's said that she'll never stand between us, that she's just a childhood friend of his and she'll stay as just that. But despite the fact that she's just his friend and I'm his girlfriend, I don't know who actually matters more. My already battered self-confidence is quaking thinking about it. And I know that I shouldn't even be thinking about it. It's unfair, to him and to her. Why would he even need to pick between the two of us?
He's already claimed his romantic interest lies with me and I should be satisfied with that. It's just hard when she's constantly reminding me of their long history and the many times they've laughed and cried together, comforted and stood up for each other. She's always doing it with this glint in her eye, sending me seemingly innocent glances that I swear are with malicious intent.
I enter the living room, holding up the bags of fried chicken I brought with me. I'm so glad I got that part time job. Now I can spoil my friends with food sometimes, as they've done in the past with me. "Food's here!"
Everyone's attention turns to me as they hurray at the smell and sigh of the food.
"Thanks Y/n!"
"YES!"
"You're the best, Y/n."
I beam at their expressions, delighted to have made them so happy. They stand up and flock around me to grab the bags and start unpacking them onto the low living room table. The only one not saying anything and just sending me a tight smile is Sangmi. She's sitting right next to Jungkook, too close for my liking, but I don't say anything.
Jungkook sends me one of his cute bunny smiles and gestures me to come over. He doesn't hesitate to take my hand and pull me down into his lap, kissing my temple. "Hi, baby," he whispers so only I can hear. "You know you didn't have to do that," he gestures toward the food with a barely detectable nod, "the uni tuition-"
"I'll manage. Don't worry."
"But-"
I peck his lips to shut him up. Thankfully, he does.
I look over and see Sangmi glowering at us from the corner of her eye. She leans into Hoseok who's sitting to the other side of her.
When I turn to meet Jungkook's eyes again, I see him sending me a scolding glare, though without any real anger. "Be nice."
I roll my eyes at him. "I am!"
He leans in closer to me, his lips grazing my ear. "You know I'm yours."
The sensation makes my skin tingle and toes curl. A delicious heat creeps inside my bones.
The evening moves on and all of us eat from the many chicken boxes while playing video games and chatting. I'm sitting on the floor just in front of Jungkook, his hands playing in my hair, as I'm playing a game of Mario Kart against Jin and Hoseok. The fast-paced race distracts me from my surroundings, but I vaguely hear Sangmi's voice from the couch above me.
"Kookie~ It's getting late. You promised to help me with my chem homework."
His hands don't slip out of my hair, and he continues playing with it, even starting to braid it. I love it when he does that.
He seems distracted by watching the screen, so his answer is a bit late. "Then go get it."
"Not here," she whines. "You said you'd come over to my house."
"It's already 9pm."
"You can crash at mine's."
I feel hot rage seep into my veins. She knows exactly what she's doing, and she knows that I can hear them.
"I don't know, Mi-"
"Come on." One of his hands is pulled out of my hair, and I understand that she must've pulled at his elbow, trying to grab his attention. "You promised."
He's about to say something, but she interrupts him before he can start. "It's due tomorrow."
I can feel the moment he gives in. He just can't help it.
"Fine."
She squeals, clapping her hands together. "Let's go."
She jumps up from the couch and walks past me, right in front of the tv screen. I humph annoyedly when I can't see the game, leaning over to look behind her.
The game ends, and I come in third place. After Jin and Hoseok.
The competitive side of me is now fuming. I was in second place, about to pass Jin!
Jungkook leans forward on his knees, chuckling as he's pulling me in for a back hug. "You'll get them next time."
"I would've gotten them, if-" I don't finish the sentence.
Jungkook doesn't seem to notice. "Hey, I'm just going to head over to Sangmi's to help her with schoolwork. I'll text you later, hm?" He absentmindedly pecks me on the cheek and stand up. I pout after him as he leaves the living room.
He doesn't text me that night.
All I can do as I lay awake in bed at 2am is believe that my trust in him will be enough.
I wake up the next morning with an arm slung over my waist, holding me tight against a warm body. As I turn slightly to look over my shoulder I see Jungkook's sleeping face lying on my pillow, his breath tickling my nape.
He stirs at the movement, nuzzling into my neck. "Good morning," I whisper, lifting my hand to brush aside his ebony curls to see his beautiful eyes as they flutter open.
He answer with a peck on my throat. He sleepily blinks a few times, gaining some semblance of a conscience. "I hope you don't mind. I missed you," he mumbles, referring to showing up at my apartment in what must've been the middle of the night. But the thought of that he didn't want to sleep at Sangmi's house and rather with me in this shabby little apartment-
I smile. "Not at all."
🧹
The flashback cracks my heart. I inch past the couple, who don't even seem to notice me at first, mumbling "Excuse me." They're blocking part of the door.
"Oh, sorry," Jungkook says immediately and moves over. He glances at me as he does so, and halts.
"Y/n."
I try to slip inside quickly, but he understands what I'm trying to do, and pushes the door close before I can. "I can explain," he hastily says. "We're not dating, or anything—"
Sangmi frowns, looking over at me now too. Her eyes narrow at me.
"I wasn't lying to you, Mi and I are just friends—"
"Are we?" Sangmi interrupts, squeezing his bicep with her hand, leaning into him. "That's not what you said last week," she purrs, fully ignoring my presence. Her wine red hair is straightened and hangs down to her waist, as luscious and beautiful as ever. She has to be constantly dying it, yet it looks so perfect.
Her makeup is done splendidly, not caked on but undoubtedly there. She's wearing a short black dress, though it has long sleeves and is a bit more modest than a party dress would be. It looks like she's been on a date. With Jungkook's casual outfit, she looks overdressed.
I stop analyzing them and meet Jungkook's gaze. "Can you please let me inside?" My voice is steady, devoid of any emotion. I'm not going to let him break my heart again. Especially not since we've been over for months now. He shouldn't be able to have that control of me anymore.
"Y/n—" he objects, eyes pleading as he pulls his arm out of Sangmi's grip.
I try to push the door open, wanting to get out of this horrid situation.
"Can we talk?" He continues, leaning against the door. His eyes have widened to the point of the whites showing all around his iris. "In private."
I snap. "No, I don't want to talk to you. And I don't care whether you're screwing her or not. It's none of my business. Now let me go inside before I call the cops."
Surprisingly, I manage to get all of it out in a cool, unflinching voice. This newfound - but surely short-lived - control of my body is something I have missed, and wish I could keep. But I know my reality, and that I need to find a place I can be alone within the next minute or I will burst into tears.
He doesn't know what to say, opening his mouth and then closing it. I avoid his eyes, not wanting him to persuade me into making a mistake. Why is he so adamant on talking to me now? It has been months, and he hasn't ever tried to call or text me, and now he feels obligated to tell me about his and Sangmi's relationship? Is he really that cruel?
"You heard her, Kookie."
He sighs, removing his weight off the door.
I open the door immediately, rushing inside, but manage to hear a snippet of their conversation.
"Thanks for dropping me off."
"You knew, Sangmi—"
I don't hear more. I don't want to. Whatever their issues are, I'm not getting involved. Not again.
I know that I shouldn't care, that Jungkook is a single man and allowed to do whatever he wants with whoever he wants. But I can't help but feel like I've been betrayed somehow. Just the fact that it was Sangmi, the girl I was always worried about. The girl he knew I was worried about.
I don't make it far before I encounter someone else I'd rather not meet right know. Someone I completely forgot about in the last few moments.
Surprisingly, he doesn't see me until I'm just inches away, busy hurrying down the stairs towards the entrance.
He looks up right before he's about to knock into me, and his eyes widen. "Oh, Y/n," he says, voice unsteady. "Hi."
He tries to look innocent, though it's obvious that the situation is suspicious. A red tint rises in his face. He knows how this looks.
"Hello, Mark." I don't keep the cold out of my voice, even as I feel my heart start to fracture inside my chest for a whole other reason.
I keep walking, circling around him to continue up to my dorm room. Where I'm sure Sana will be sitting, waiting for my return. Looking innocent as ever.
The anger rushes through me at the thought of that. Everyone just loves keeping secrets around here, not bothering to kiss this person or that person without thinking of the consequences it can have for someone else. How much it can hurt someone else.
Mark is still standing frozen behind me as I reach the landing, but as if he could hear my thoughts he instantly snaps to life again and descends the stairs quickly.
I try not to think about Jungkook and Sangmi, but the thoughts swirl around inside my head like vultures getting ready to feast on my carcass the moment I let my guard down.
I can't quite recall reaching the door and unlocking it, the door handle cool against my palm and the smell of nail polish stinging my nose. I can't remember entering the dorm room, seeing Sana on the spot where I left her, or the things that happen afterwards.
It's as if I'm in a daze as it all happens, and that I'm looking at the few pieces I remember afterwards through a frosted window.
All I know is,
I'm talking, my cold voice spitting words like ice daggers towards my friend,
who is crying,
her salty tears running down flushed cheeks like salt water spilling over a fleshy wound that's already gaping open in my chest.
And she looks at me with so much guilt,
but I don't back down. I'm standing there, still as a statue, watching my friend fall apart without doing anything to help her.
She's hurting and
I'm hurting.
Then I'm sitting on my bed, Sana is gone, and I'm alone.
I just sit there, and know that
It's all my fault.
But now I'm empty again, hollow. The words have left me.
The wound on my chest gapes open and I can't do anything about it. All I do is sink down on the bed onto my side and bring my legs up to my chest, as if trying to cover it. Hiding it from the vultures who are not leaving, only drifting closer, never leaving me.
Always there, waiting to strike.
🧹
{A/N: Hey! I'm sorry for the late update. I've been busy with exams, and a few days ago I got sick. I'm still bedridden, but I'm feeling a bit better. At least when I'm lying down. Anyways, I hope you liked the chapter! Hugs and Kisses, Linn}