[ chapter 2 ]
august 12
3:30 p.m
boca raton, florida
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I squirm and squirm but to no prevail. All I was doing was making a shit ton of noise. I began scanning the area for absolutely anything that I could use to get rid of these shackles. Nothing. All that was around me were rusty metal bars, dusty concrete with stains of whatever - whoever - the fuck was here before.
I take a deep breath and lean my head against the moldy wall. Honestly, I'm exhausted. It's been - well honestly I don't even know how long since the day I woke up in here. A week? Two weeks? Shit, it could be a month and I wouldn't have a single clue. Every waking moment felt the exact same; the amount of deja vu I've experienced so far is making me mad.
I haven't heard a peep from the fellow prisoner in so long, I'm worried he's dead already. To be honest, I have no idea how long he's been in here for so I probably shouldn't be saying "already". I'd rather be dead and I more than likely haven't been in here as long as he has.
Surprisingly, I'm brought out of my deep train of thought by an unfamiliar voice.
"Psst! Psst!" My eyebrows furrow as I squint around the very poorly lit 'room'. "Uh, yes?" I reply hesitantly. That's when I notice those same green eyes staring at me intensely. They were dull, but still shone brighter than the barely working lightbulb in the middle of, what I assume, is a basement.
"What's your name?" His raspy voice spoke out in a hushed tone. His voice was so rough, it could've been described as almost rusty. I could only imagine how dry his mouth and throat must be, as mine is slowly falling into a drought as well.
"Y/n, you?" I reply, my own voice very hoarse and exhausted. It took him a minute to reply, which confused me. "Hello?" I called out again.
"Sorry. I-I," He stops again. "I d-don't remember." He admitted, seeming just as confused as I was. I could feel my chest clench at the thought. He must've had to be down here for forever if he doesn't even remember his own name. "I'm sorry." I mumbled, though the area was so quiet I knew he heard me. The two words practically echoed.
Silence.
I didn't know what to say, so I kept it that way. Silent. I was slipping in and out of consciousness when he snapped me out of it again.
"I-I think my name was," He stopped. My jaw clenched and my head tilted. Did he know or did he not?
"Malcolm."
"Y/n?" Fingers were aggressively snapped in front of my face. My head shook and I looked down to notice Ariana was still standing there. The room was uncomfortably silent. I looked around only to notice no one else was in here. Not even Zayn or Billie. It was just me and a woman I once considered my best friend.
"Yes?" Cold. My tone was cold and I couldn't help it. Like I said before, I don't know how to feel about her.
"Can we please talk? Please." She seemed desperate. Frantically looking back and forth between both of my eyes. She was searching for any sort of answer or emotion. I was sure she wouldn't find it in there. A shit ton of practice would be the reason for that. If I wanted to seem numb or emotionless; I did.
"About what?" Her eyebrows furrow and she shoots me a look. "You know damn well what it's about. I just," She sighed. "I don't wanna do it in here. Is there somewhere private we could go? My house, your car, your house?" She suggests. I shrugged.
"I'm supposed to go to Zayn's. They've probably already left, did you bring your car?" She shook her head. I nod. "Alright, c'mon." Without another word, I turned around and began my way out of the school. I knew she was right behind me.
We reached my car and I walked to the passenger's side. I opened the door and looked back at Ariana. She stood there with her right hand clenching rather tightly on her left bicep. She seemed tense and uncomfortable. The sight made me sigh.
She took the hint and stepped inside with a quiet thank you. I hummed and shut the door behind her. Briskly walking to the other side, I enter my car and turn it on - pulling out of the parking lot rather quickly.
"Same place?" I ask, remembering where her house is at. She nods and I begin route there. "Alright, talk." I break the ice and that's when she shuffles in her seat.
"Y/n, I know that you're upset or mad at me or whatever about the whole .. situation. But, I'm just asking for a chance to explain myself - or more like another chance at being there for you. In a way I couldn't be for hi-" I immediately cut her off with a bitter hum.
"You could've Ariana. You didn't have to fucking leave him." She didn't say anything for a couple minutes. The air was tense and I felt myself slowly suffocating. I didn't wanna have this conversation with her right now. Not yet.
"Y/n, I need you to try and see it from my point of view. Put yourself in my sho-" "Put yourself in his." I cut her off once again. I knew it was wrong to not give her a chance to talk after a whole 3 years but I just wasn't ready yet. I didn't know how to approach this, sensitive, open wound.
"I have, Y/n. I have. Way more than you think. Anything that you could fucking tell me I've already said to myself. I feel lost and, if I'm being honest, I miss you. I miss the friendship we had and how close we were. You were - hell you are, the only person I feel comfortable talking about this situation with. I need you right now, Y/n. Please."
A pang hit my heart, I noticed my hands subconsciously clench the steering wheel. It seemed Ariana noticed it too, as she dropped her head and solemnly watched as she played with her fingers.
I sighed, wanting to drop my head to my lap but I had to keep my eyes on the road. Which is what I did. "I.. I-I don't know how I feel about you, Ariana. I want to understand. I want to forgive you and go back to where we were but I just-" I stop, jaw clenched.
"I cant."
"Why not?" She exasperated. I could tell she was getting worked up. At the same time, I was pulling into her neighborhood. "I know what I did was wrong but can you at least give me the chance to explain myself!" I glanced at her. She was staring right back at me with that same desperate look in her eyes. It was written all over her body language. I felt bad. Really bad.
"I'm sorry." Was all I could mumble out before pulling over at the curb of her home. It brought back a lot of memories, which caused another pang of hurt and guilt hit my heart and pull at all of it's strings.
I looked at her expectantly. Hurt flashed in her eyes. Her lips pursed and she grabbed her backpack from in front of her and carefully pulled her arms through the straps.
She opened the car door and got out. What surprised me is when she leaned down instead of just slamming the door shut.
"No, I'm sorry. For everything. For the pain I caused on everybody. If at any time you change your mind, please text me or something." She said this all while staring straight into my eyes. Her beautiful big brown orbs flickering. She backed away the second I noticed them start to water.
"Please, Y/n." Is the last thing I heard before the door shut and she began walking up to her door. I watched with a heavy heart as she entered her home, leaving me alone for the first time since I woke up this morning.
I sighed and leaned my head against the wheel. I kept taking deep breaths. I didn't want to cry. It made me feel like a bitch. I don't like feeling vulnerable, never have. Somehow, I've always had this soft spot for the Italian. She knew just how to pull at my heart and win me over.
I sat there for a couple minutes, completely lost in thought. I wanted to give her a chance. Like she said, at least to explain herself. I knew I shouldn't be mad at her - not anymore. I just couldn't bring my mind and my heart to agree on something. I genuinely didn't know what to do. Who should I trust more? Ariana, my mind, or my heart?
I breathed in deeply and leaned back. I put the car in drive and pulled off to Zayn's place. I shot him a text, telling him I'm on my way. With my mind racing, I turned the volume on my radio all the way up.
taste the poison from your lips
lately we're as good as gone
oh, our love is drunken in
singing me my favorite song
me and you
we were made to break
i know that's true
but it's much too late
Groaning, I turn the volume all the way down and roll my eyes. I can not handle a love song right now.
Soon enough, I pull into Zayn's driveway and take the key out. I notice an unfamiliar car parked on the side of the road but I ignore it. Opting on not knocking, I walk straight in. I'm greeted by the familiar smell of weed but also the delicious scent of cooking food.
"Is that my baby Y/n?!" A smile immediately breaks my straight-faced expression. "Mama T!" I yelled out, which got me several excited squeals in response. My smile got even wider, and I quickly walked into the kitchen.
"Y/nn!" Zayn's mom, Trisha, smiles brightly and basically runs over to me. We share a tight hug and she asks me how I've been. Of course, I reply with a simple "Good, good, you?"
"I've been good too suga." She smiles. Then Zayn's sisters come up to me.
"Hey Y/nn!" Safaa smiles wide and pulls me into a hug. I greet her and Zayn's other two sisters, Waliyah and Doniya. By the time we've all caught up a bit with each other, Zayn himself finally walks in.
"Oh shit, hey Y/nn! C'mon, we're all in my room." He pecks his mom's cheek and then leads me up the stairs. I say bye to his family and follow him.
Upon entering, Billie immediately greets me with a hug. They definitely just smoked because the smell is very strong.
"Damn, yall smoked without me?" I ask with a raised eyebrow. Zayn shrugs and Billie giggles and waves me off. "There's more fatass." She rolled her red eyes playfully.
Just then, Z's bedroom door opens and my head whips around immediately at the sound of a strange voice.
"Hey Zayn, I gotta go. Thank you for.." He trails off right as our eyes connect. His own dark eyes then harden into a glare.
"You.." I saw his jaw clench.
"Pete."
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hope you all are enjoying the story so far, it's gonna start picking up REAL soon ;) . much love, A :)