for the last four years of the band daniel had taken up photography and videoing almost everything he did and everyone he was with, and he always downloaded them onto his computer.
there were countless videos of alaska and him saved onto his computer and laptop.
daniel scrambled up in his bed and pushed the blanket down around his waist. he reached over the side of his bed for the laptop, and he put it down in front of him, opening it up.
his fingers flew across the keyboard as he pulled up the videos, and he could already see a variety of videos with alaska as the thumbnail and reached into his nightstand drawer for his ear buds, fumbling with them as he plugged them into the laptop and stuck the buds into his ears.
he quickly clicked the first video, the thumbnail being a lego death star with alaska's head poking out from behind it.
daniel bent his knees and wrapped his arms around them as he watched the video begin to play.
alaska and jack both came into frame, a pile of legos in front of the two of them, all three of them being at the old house at the time.
alaska groaned, 'why do legos hurt your fingers so much?' she said, shaking out her hand, tired from putting the pieces together.
jack shrugged, 'you can take a break if you want.'
'nah.' alaska sighed. 'it's too much fun, look at this thing.' she held up the piece of the deathstar she had been working on. 'i have no idea what this is supposed to be, but it looks cool!' she giggled.
alaska suddenly had noticed the camera as she looked over at daniel. 'daniiiiii,' she whined out. 'stop doing that all the time.'
daniel laughed. 'i can't help it, you're too pretty not to film.' she visibly blushed, and shook her head.
jack groaned, 'c'mon guys, you promised you wouldn't be all mushy around me.'
daniel laughed, 'i can't help it, we're in love~' he singsonged.
a broken laugh akin to a cry, left daniel's lips as he clicked out of the video. he liked it of course, but that wasn't one of the one's he had in mind. there were other videos of more intimate moments just between the two of them.
he scrolled through the thumbnails of videos when he spotted one he remembered all too well. the cover was of him laying down, alaska wasn't in it, yet the fact she was straddling his lap and holding the camera above him.
daniel quickly clicked the video.
'stopppp.' daniel whined. 'give it back.' he said, reaching for the camera. alaska giggled holding it up higher.
'no, you video me all the time, i'm just returning the favor.' her hand came into view, pressing down on his chest so he was laying flat against the bed.
daniel rolled his eyes but complied. 'fine, what's the video about then?' he asked teasingly.
alaska hummed. "hmm, ...how 'bout... how pretty my boyfriend is.'
daniel rolled his eyes. 'i'm not pretty.'
alaska gasped in fake offense. 'yes you are, you're the prettiest boyfriend ever.' she giggled. 'you're my pretty boy.'
daniel laughed. 'your what?'
'my pretty boy.' alaska chirped again. she moved up, straddling his waist now. 'you got pretty brown hair.' she hummed, her hand raking through messy blonde hair. 'and pretty blue eyes.'
her finger trailed down his forehead and around his eyes. 'and the cutest nose.' her finger traced the bridge of his nose. 'and such pretty plump lips, the cutest lil tooth gap.' she laughed making daniel roll his eyes.
'you're prettier though.' daniel said, and alaska shook her head.
'nah-uh, you're the prettiest.'
'okay, how bout this. i'll be your pretty boy if you agree that you're my pretty girl.'
alaska hummed again. 'alright i guess i can live with that.'
'good, cause i think you have much prettier lips than me.' and in a flash, daniel pulled the camera out of alaska's hand, pointing it towards the two of them as he leaned up and pulled her down for a kiss.
daniel watched as the two of them kissed on the screen until the video cut off.
the sob he was holding back, tore free from his throat and he buried his face into his arms and knees, muffling his cries.
'pretty boy'
that had been alaska's nickname for him. he always pretended that it had annoyed him but deep down he loved it.... daniel couldn't remember the last time he heard her call him that and it made his heart clench. he would do anything if he got to hear alaska call him 'pretty boy' again.
he stayed like that, head buried in his knees for a few minutes, before he decided to torment himself by watching another video.
this time he clicked on the thumbnail of alaska's sleeping face. he remembered taking this about a year ago, she was sick that day and daniel had come over to comfort her and keep her company until she got better. at one point he left to the drugstore to pick up some things for her and when he got back, she was passed out on her bed. in seconds daniel had his camera out and began recording alaska.
a ruffling noise sounded as daniel turned on the camera and sunk onto his knees, alaska's peaceful face coming into the frame. daniel sighed behind the camera, his hand coming into view as he pushed back a strand of her hair from her face. 'how are you still the prettiest girl in the world even when you're sick?' he asked from behind the camera. 'i don't know if you'll ever see this video but if you do, i promise i'm not being creepy. i just- i saw you looking so peaceful, which is nice cause you've been coughing all day, and i hate seeing my pretty girl so miserable. but you look so calm right now and u really need you to get better because you have no idea how badly i want to kiss you.' daniel sighed again in content. 'i love you y'know... like i love you so much it physically hurts. i think about you all the time, especially when i'm out on tour.'
'that's good to know because i think about you when you're out on tour too.' alaska nasally mumbled, eyes still closed shut.
daniel groaned. 'how much of that did you hear?'
'the part where you said you loved me.' she teased, fluttering her eyes open.
'we'll it's true.'
'good because i love you too, pretty boy.'
daniel groaned again, 'are you ever gonna drop the pretty boy thing?'
'of course not, it's your new nickname and you can't argue with me because i'm sick.'
daniel laughed, 'oh so you're gonna pull out the sick card huh?'
she nodded. 'yes, now come nap with me pretty boy. i need my big spoon.'
'alright, but i better not get sick.' daniel said, turning off the camera.
daniel scrolled through the videos some more, blinking away the bluriness from his tears. he stopped upon finding a video without a thumbnail, it was just a black screen, and he immediately remembered it.
recording it was an accident, alaska was over one night and the boys were out, the two of them were trying to get dinner done and daniel started fiddling with his camera, looking for the photos he took for his gift for alaska. at one point alaska started getting antsy and one thing lead to another and things started to get heated between the two of them, nothing crazy, they just made out. however, when alaska pulled the camera out of daniel's hands she accidentally hit record without realizing it and the camera recorded the whole make out session.
and daniel realized, that this was the last time the two of them actually kissed. this was only a few days before corona, and after the hiatus nothing was the same between them two. after the hiatus when daniel had been getting more and more into producing for upcoming albums, when daniel spent a lot more of his time with his best friends,... when he started pushing alaska away.
his hands shook as he clicked on the video. his ears being filled with a ruffling sound, the frame shaking as alaska pulled it out of daniel's hands and placed it on his desk.
she climbed onto daniel's lap, 'sunshine.' he whined. 'you know i have a lot of work to do.'
she hummed, as she began kissing his neck. 'i know pretty boy.' daniel's head tilted back, giving her more room. 'i just wanna kiss for a little bit...i'll leave you alone after.' her voice was hushed.
he sighed. 'alright.' and with that their lips met in a rehearsed dance.
daniel buried his face into his knees again, peeking out from behind them, watching the scene as their lips locked together and all he could hear were soft little hums from alaska. all that went through his head was how that would no longer be alaska and him anymore, now it would be her and cole. and he felt sick to his stomach, much like when he saw the two of them earlier together that day. he couldn't stop himself as the thoughts made their way into his brain, that he'd never get to hold her again, never share those sweet intimate moments with alaska again, he wouldn't even be able to build legos with her anymore. But cole could do all those things, and judging by what he saw, he already started to.
it fucking broke daniel, the thought of his beautiful girlfriend with anyone other than himself. actually having seen it with his own two eyes, the whole thing just seemed like a twisted nightmare.
alaska was his, she was always his girl. even when the two of them were in elementary school, he'd follow her around everywhere she went, and in middle school when a kid by the name benny tried to bully her, he stood up for her in a way he was never able to stand up for himself when he was the one being bullied. she was his even when he was just this scrawny musical prodigy that everyone picked on and she were still his when he became a part of a band.
but now she was cole's.
and it made him physically sick.
daniel shut his laptop, the room being flooded in darkness once again, and he continued to cry into his knees.
not a minute later, daniel heard three knocks on his bedroom door and christian say softly. "daniel?"
daniel looked up and glanced at the time, seeing that it was already passed midnight, and he probably woke up his brother.
"daniel?" christian asked again, this time pushing the door open, the light from the hallway spilling into daniel's room.
he could just make out daniel's form, sitting up, and he felt the side of his wall for the light switch and flicked it up.
a deep frown settled on his face as he spotted his brother, completely heartbroken, as he looked back at him. his eyes were even more red and swollen since the last time she saw him and his nose was red as well too. there was dark spots on the hoodie he wore and the blanket on his lap from the tears.
"oh dani." he sighed, "do you wanna talk about it?" christian offered.
daniel let out a choked sob, "i-iwas a-a bad boyfriend." he wailed and larger tears started running down his face faster.
christian quickly made his way over to daniel and sat down, pulling him into his body. and the two sat there as daniel cried into him, as christian did his best to calm daniel down, rubbing his back and muttering comforting words.
"i-it's all my f-fault, i h-hurt h-her christian." he choked out the words.
christian stayed silent, letting him work through how he felt on his own for a bit.
"i l-love her m-man, i-i love h-her s-so m-uch. i d-do, i-i promise i d-do." he repeated the words, trying to take back the fact that during lunch he actually said he didn't love you anymore, and what was worse was that he actually believed it too. as if daniel could ever fall out of love with alaska cheyenne.
"i know, dani." christian hummed, trying his best to soothe the crying boy, running a hand up and down his back.
he shook in his arms, "i-and i was s-so horrible t-to h-her. i-i-i ...made her cry, i m-made... pretty girl c-cry. a-and- and-" he couldn't get the words out, the same way when a child cried they kept choking on their words because they couldn't get a full breath in.
christian continued to run a comforting hand up and down his back. "shh." he hushed. he had never seen daniel this hysterical before, and it was pushing him far out of his comfort zone.
"a-and- a-and now.. sh-she's with ..s-s-someone else."
a/n
i hope y'all are having a good day :)
and if you want go apply to my new book!
'my guy'