°•∘ they're trying ∘•°
"So what, am I in the maknae line too?", she asked while tilting her head.
They had landed at Jeju Island, and were driving towards the beach.
She had been having nightmares about him ever since the night Jungwon woke her up, and she always found herself almost immediately being held by one of the members before falling asleep again.
She knew he had something to do with it, but she said nothing about it. Not to him and not to any of the boys. She was so thankful for them, but also so self conscious about it.
Now she was actually screaming internally but had to pretend not to be freaking out because they were recording it all for Enhypen&Hi.
She was currently seating in the middle of Jake and Sunoo, and had her head on Jake's shoulder. She had fallen asleep on Sunoo's shoulder but the boy was quick to blush –and the others to tease him– so Jake put her head on his shoulder. They decided to let her sleep given that she had been getting almost no rest the past few nights.
"Well, of course", Heeseung stated. "You're even younger than Sunoo".
"What do you mean by even?", she squinted her eyes, sitting straight. "It's only three months!"
"You're a baby", Sunghoon stated and slightly shrugged.
"But I don't wanna be in the maknae line!".
"Hey! What's wrong with the maknae line?!", Riki interrupted. Eunsae giggled softly.
"There's nothing wrong, but being with the elders sounds fun", she smiled.
"Yah! You should be calling me oppa or something!", Heeseung said. "Have some respect", he sighed.
"I'll call you oppa only before I die", she stated firmly. "It's not cute at all, actually", rolling her eyes, she put again her weight onto Jake.
They all laughed at Heeseung's facial expression, and Jake put his arm around her shoulders. He left delicate strokes on her arm and she smiled.
"Are you guys excited about the beach?", the guy from the staff that was riding the bus with them asked.
They all nodded, and Eunsae could feel her heart sinking only because of thinking about being near the sea. The ocean terrified her, and she couldn't hide it at all. They all knew it because, she assumed, Sunghoon had told them that she herself admitted to it that dreadful night.
"It's gonna be okay", Jake mumbled against her head after the attention was on Jay scolding Sunghoon because he ate his chocolate chip cookies.
The rest of the trip they played some games, just as she had seen BTS and his friends from Tomorrow by Together do in their own variety shows.
Every time she realized they were actually getting closer to the shore, it triggered so many not good memories and her breath hitched.
"Yeah, you guys should totally go ahead. I'll just stay behind for a little while", she smiled calmly before waving the boys off.
They all looked unsure, but walked towards the rocks that led to the ocean.
It was beautiful. Yet beautiful things can also be awful. Just as her memories.
Her eyes were glossy with tears, and she politely asked the cameraman to turn his camera off. He nodded, and walked away from her to give her some privacy.
She then let out a big sigh and let her tears roll down her cheeks and her breath to be as shallow as it could. She needed to cry, she needed to let go of those feelings that made her unsure, and empty, and scared.
She was terrified and was shaking so much, and she hadn't even noticed it before Jake had his arms around her, burying her face on his chest. He held her tight as she cried, sobbed and trembled.
"It's okay, Moonie", he mumbled while stroking her hair softly. He kissed the top of her head and then held her a little more tightly. "I'm here, it's fine", he whispered in English.
It wasn't fine.
It would never be fine as long as he was in her mind, haunting her and hurting her in her dreams, just as vividly as he had hurt her years ago.
Soon enough, Sunoo and Jay came along, looking for Jake and found him holding Eunsae as if she was dying.
Maybe she was. It felt like she was.
"Is everything okay?", Sunoo asked quietly. Jay facepalmed and then shook his head, walking rapidly towards the pair.
"Moonie, you've got to come out of that dark place", Jay stated quite bluntly.
Jake and Sunoo turned to eye him and he shrugged.
"Soft treatment hasn't succeeded", he stated and took the sobbing girl out of Jake's embrace and took her cheeks in his hands, squishing a bit. "Look at me", his voice was less demanding, but still a little harsh. "We're here by your side, but you have to let us in; let us help you", he said.
Eunsae's green eyes were injected in tears, redness filling her cheeks and her swollen lips trembled. She shut her eyes as strongly as she could and tried to hide her face in his chest, but he held her in spot.
"C'mon, Moonie", his voice was becoming more and more desperate, and Sunoo glanced towards Jake, who had his hands in fists. "Look at me!", he whisper yelled and she yelped.
"Yah, let het go", Jake stated while reaching towards the girl, who was still sobbing. "Harsh treatment scared even me", he admitted while holding Eunsae in his arms again.
"She needs to take action on whatever shit she's going through", he stated desperately.
"Yeah, and she'll do it when she's ready", he almost barked back. Sunoo's eyes were wide, but he was froze as a rock. "Not everyone is you"
"What is that supposed to mean?!"
"Yah, guys, maybe turn it down a notch", Sunoo's worried voice cut through their bickering. "She's literally going through something as of right now, and I bet it's not great hearing your nonsense".
He took Eunsae from Jake's arms and walked her towards the bus. They took a seat and he held her while she cried.
"I know I don't know what you're going through. And probably none of us does. We all want to help and it hurts us that you're hurting", he smiled a little, wiping her tears from her cheeks. "They're just worried and they're doing their best, even if that means scolding each other loudly".
After a while, she fell asleep. Sunoo went to record the stone pile making scene and the sunset near the ocean scene too, and when they got in the bus, Jake took a seat next to her, folding his arms around her tightly.
He didn't want her to suffer. None of them liked seeing her acting like that, being jumpy and scared, and waking up in the middle of the night with a terrified expression and trembling hands.
"It's okay", he mumbled while stroking her hair.
He didn't know she had been awake for a couple of minutes but decided to stay put because she felt safe around him. Actually, she felt safe around them all, they made her feel welcomed and wanted, and happy... and secure.
Her heart skipped a beat when she heard the next words.
"It's okay. I'm never leaving your side".
A smile is cheer from you to me,
the cost is nothing, it's given for free.
(unknown)
Extras.
1. Incorrect quotes.
Sunoo: [trying to sound tough] i have only one emotion and that is anger
Heeseung: you got drunk last night and kept trying to kiss eunsae
Sunoo: out of anger
//
Eunsae: you're stupid
Jay: you're dumb
Eunsae:
Eunsae: i don't like your hair
Jay *gasps*: omg she went there
//
Eunsae: you're obsessed with yourself
Sunoo: and you're not? sad. tragic.
//
Eunsae: FIGHT ME, YOU NERD ASS PUNK
Heeseung: can't you at least try to sound slightly sophisticated?
Eunsae: oh, my bad
Eunsae: dost thou wish to engage in a duel, my good bITCH? !
Heeseung: that was somehow worse
//
Sunghoon: you're so short. what can you even see down there?
Eunsae: your IQ.
//
Jungwon: come on guys, we're all friends! let's hug it out, come on, get in here!
[everyone piles up into an awkward group hug]
Jay: who the fuck just took my wallet
Eunsae: sorry
--
how're you guys doing? take care of yourselves, drink some water and have some 'me-time' this week!
And also... ALMOST 2 K READS?! Are you kidding meeeee?
thank you for reading my story! i'd love to hear what your thoughts on this story are! feel free to leave a comment if you'd like! (Don't be a silent reader, comments fuel author's voices!!)
love you, see you next week! ✨❤️
-baobab.
(Proofread on Aug. 15, 2021. If any mistakes have been overlooked, let me know!)