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*REECE'S POV*
I stared at the blank document in front of me. No words, just a title. I was still pretty upset about what had happened last night. But I couldn't make the choice for him. He's an adult after all, he knows what's right from wrong. But as my best friend, I just wanted what was best for him and Sawyer was not that. Was it selfish that I am jealous? I think it is, but all I can do is put on the bravest face I can and just hope everything works out in the end.
My ears perked once I heard a knock at my front door. Sighing to myself, I get up from my chair and make my way down the stairs, hoping it's not Chris magically showing up at my front door. Chris always hates that I am mad at him. He has texted me countless times but I refuse to look at them. As much as I hate ignoring him, I was still angry. The last thing I wanted was to blow up at him because he's probably heard enough lectures from the past twelve hours. What's space is space, and just like everyone.. I need it.
I opened my door, and my eyes widened as I saw Scott with an iced coffee in one hand and some flowers in the other. "Thought you might need it this morning." He tells me to hand me my gifts. My cheeks glowed into a crimson red color and my smile was beaming like the sun. I would never consider Scott attractive, he was gay after all. Besides Chris and I, we were each other's sidekicks all throughout high school. We did musicals together, did yearbook, everything I did, Scott did it too. I liked to think of him as my soul sister. "So how are you feeling?" He asked me as he sat down at the island in my kitchen. "Did the next Jane Austen write something after we talked?"
"I wish," I mumbled, sipping on my overly sweet coffee. I grabbed a vase for my delicate Lilies and filled it up with water. "My mind has just been all over the place since last night. I only have a title so far."
"Has he bothered to talk to you?" Scott asked. "He called me this morning just worried that you won't talk to him anymore."
I placed the Lilies in the vase, turning around towards him. "I won't stop talking to him. Are you kidding? Yes, he's dumb and I'm mad at him but doesn't mean he's no longer my best friend. I am furious at him for being a fucking idiot, but I am ignoring him because the last thing I want to do is make the situation more worse for him. I am just waiting to calm down."
"Almost got a plane to New York City myself, and was about to kick his ass." He mumbled, taking a sip of his iced coffee. "But I remember who I am, and then I remember who he is. I was not about to go for a round two of my childhood." I snickered softly, remembering how much Chris picked on him growing up.
"He always picked on you, didn't he?" I said, thinking about the times where Chris blamed young Scott for doing when in reality it was all his fault. "Oh you would just cry and cry whenever your mom yelled at you. I always stood up for you and Chris would always get angry at me. Oh, just so angry."
"That idea was a no, but boy if I had the body like Chris did, I would kick his butt." He mumbled. "She already posted about it on social media too! TMZ is talking about, People Magazine, it's trending on Twitter, she's probably just loving it."
"Wouldn't be surprised, the media gives her more attention than Chris does anyways." I mumbled softly. He lets off a snarky laugh as we travel upstairs to my bedroom. It's been quite a while since I saw Scott because our schedules lately haven't been lining up. Either he's off doing a gig or I am stuck at work. But whenever we are together, I feel whole. The whole Evans family is my whole.
Scott lays down on my bed while I sit in front of my computer, glancing at the empty word document. "Do you think Things I Hate About You way too upfront?" I turn around, facing Scott who is completely zoned out.
"Kind of, but isn't that the point? That's what it is."
"Yeah, I suppose." I turn around, looking at it again. Why am I so blank with ideas all of the sudden. Nothing is coming to mind. Usually when I am writing, my brain plays like a movie tape. The pictures keep coming and coming to me until there are no more pictures to write about. That's when it ends. But right now, it feels like I just bought a used DVD full of scratches and it's stuck. Right now, the only thing I could possibly hate him for was not listening to his heart but his mind. "But what things could I hate about him? I can't just say, I hate you for breaking my heart and my spirit, fuck you!"
"Well, I mean it gets right to the point... doesn't it?" He looks up at my ceiling, probably daydreaming like he always does. But lately these days, I've been daydreaming just like him. Scott always has high hopes and big dreams. So do I, but unlike Scott I don't like to act on them. I am anxious and always think of the worst case scenario possible. The dreams on my head don't have the worst case scenario but in reality it does. I don't think I want to face that music. I'd rather just let things be how they are supposed to be. "I would pay to read it."
"You'd pay to read anything I'll write." I joked, taping on my desk to figure out what I could possibly come to mind. Should I write about his eyes? What the hell Reece? You are not nine years old! Maybe we can write about how he tells the worst jokes. REECE! What are you thinking? That sounds like a horrible idea. Maybe, I should just ask Scott for ideas. But I am second guessing myself, you are an inspiring author who comes up with ideas all the time. Think Reece, think!
I'm thinking but I am having no luck as I try to figure out what I could possibly talk about. I don't want to jump right into the stuff that stings the most. I want to slowly move my way to the harsh stuff. I want to climb my way into the climax, I got to be a professional. "So what happened between you and Zac?" I ask him, trying to change the thought I have in my head.
He sighed with annoyance. "Broke up," He mumbled. "He pulled the 'it's not you, it's me' card and I was like, okay.. you are wasting my time. I am so mad! That was almost two years of my life... wasted! Down the toilet! At least he could've done it sooner or could have been more straightforward about it. He moved out of the condo about a few days ago, almost threw it on the street because I wanted him out pronto."
"You know, I wasn't really a huge fan of him anyways." I tell him, as I try to indulge into the conversation. But in reality, my mind was somewhere else. As he rants about his ex-boyfriend, I unlock my phone and look through my missed messages. All of them were from Chris. I hovered my thumb over his name and clicked on it.
I should have told you beforehand, I'm sorry.
Are you ignoring me? Please, can we just talk? I don't want you upset with me.
I'm fine with everyone being mad at me at the moment, but not you. You're the only person I don't want mad at me ever.
I just really like her. I see something with her. I love her, I do.
Okay, you always respond to me and you always go to bed late so I know you're not sleeping right now.
Okay, you totally hate me right now. I am sorry.
Reece. It's been like a whole hour, can we just talk about it? I didn't think you would be so upset by this. I know I should have talked to you and got your input because you are my best friend and because of that I am sorry. I'm getting pretty tired though because it's almost five in the morning and I have to be up in like the next three hours. But just text me back, please.
I sighed to myself as I read the multiple text messages from him. I know it's fair to him for a text back but I don't want myself to blow a gasket on him. When I get very angry in front of someone, it is scary. The only time I have ever gotten mad at when he told my childhood crush, Spencer, that I liked him. Poor boy actually cried and thought I would never speak to him again. There's a reason why Chris and I were best friends. We were both way too sensitive and good hearted.
"Are you even listening to me Reece?"
I got out of my thoughts and looked up, seeing Scott eye me. "Yeah, I was.. I was just looking at Chris's text messages he sent me."
"What does it say?" He asked and I shrugged. I looked back on my phone to read the messages. 'Well, it starts out very right to the point. He said that he should have told me beforehand and that he is sorry." I start out, looking at the text messages carefully. "Then you know, he rambles about how he made me upset and that I am ignoring him. He apparently really likes her and that he sees something with her. Now we're at the very end and he's going to bed and I should text him back.
"And he hasn't texted you back since? Not since he went to sleep?" Scott asked me and I shook my head no. "Well, I think he's just trying to give you space right now because it's hard to process such a major thing.. you know? But you know Chris, he wants an answer right away before his anxiety gets such at a high. Like this morning on the phone, all he could possibly talk about was how you probably hate him and just freaking out over the fact he might lose you as a friend."
I shook my head. "Are you kidding? Chris could run over my foot and he'd still be my friend. Like I told you before, I am just not very happy with the choices he has made in the past twenty four hours. I know how he gets because that's what I get. That's why we are Chris and Reece. Two wrongs in a friendship definitely made a right. That doesn't mean it's very healthy to demand an answer from someone who is still trying to process their emotions. Believe me, if I was in his shoes, I would love an answer so it can stop resting in my head so I could just move on with my day. However, I just don't think I can give him an answer right now."
"I get that," Scott lays back down on my bed and looks up at the ceiling. "I know he's coming back to LA today. Better hope he doesn't show up to your house."
"I don't think he'll do that. I don't want him acting like my ex-boyfriend. I think he knows better to bug me when I am pissed." I look back over to my computer and flip my phone screen down. "Scott, I think I am in a dilemma."
"What's the dilemma, girl?" Scott sits up, crossing his arm. I sigh to myself running my hair through my dirty blonde waves. I turn to him and shrug. "I still don't know what to write about. What do you think I should write about?"
"Reece! It's your book!" He smiled. "You want me to give you book advice?"
"Okay, slow your roll." I warn him. "This isn't book advice, this is basically just brainstorming ideas. Right now, I can only think one thing I hate about your stupid older brother. Of course these are things I hate about you. Not thing I hate about you. Plus, you're the one who inspired me to do this project."
Scott smirked softly, pretending he was flipping his imaginary hair. "I know I'm such a genius." He compliments himself until he goes back to thinking. "You can write about the one time you got dehydrated during that time we went to that fancy fish restaurant and Chris was scared as hell that you were going to die."
"No." I said immediately. "As funny and as stupid as that story is. I need an actual reason. You know, like from the movie?"
"Oh, gotcha." He thinks to himself for a minute while I spin in my desk chair. I think and think, and nothing comes to mind. Every possible idea I get is way too cheesy or way to stay forward. "Oh! Wait I have an idea!"
"Spit it out, Scotty Boy." I look at him, calling him the nickname I have had for him since 5th grade.
"Do you remember in high school you had the HUGEST crush on Chris? Not like you do right now, but like back then? It was so painfully obvious. Nowadays you do a better job at concealing it but back in the day, even my parents knew. But Chris was and still is so oblivious to people actually liking him. He just thinks their being super friendly or-"
I immediately grab my notebook and write down the idea. You're way too oblivious. I looked back up at Scott once I was done writing it in my idea journal, and he was giving me the cheekiest smirk. "I hope I get my royalties from this."
It is always such a fun time with Scott. After we figured out my first idea to write about. We just sat on my bed and just chatted about what we have been up to and what's been in our heads. This is what we used to do when we lived together after I graduated college. For months we couldn't afford a good working TV, so the next best thing was just to sit down and talk to each other. Sure we could have bought a radio, a couple board games or actually enjoyed New York City. But we always preferred just talking about anything and not being bored of the conversation. Things that remind me of memories I hold deep and hidden in my heart definitely brings out the real me. Just a girl from Boston with dreams.
Eventually Scott had to leave because he had a couple of errands. I didn't mind his piece of absence. I was on a mission to start writing that book to express the emotions I wasn't even searching for. I grabbed some snacks to keep me company, tied up my hair and pulled the pillows off my bed and put them on the chair, because I knew I was going to be sitting in this chair for quite some time. I started writing my ideas for what I could talk about for this reason. I was coming up with stories left to right, crossing off some if I thought it was way too much for highlighting them if it was really good and important to the topic. Going back to these old memories and just thinking about them made my chest warm. Not that I was embarrassed by them but just the fact that life for us was much simpler back then. We were just kids without a care in the world. We didn't really know the impact of heartbreak and things not going your way. We were innocent, we were invincible, it was us against the world. But now, it didn't really feel like that. It's not like I hated my memories. They are what make me who I am, it's what makes all of us.
After writing the ideas I wanted to add, I take a long sip of my water bottle, placing it down and looking at the screen for what seems to be the millionth time. I take one deep breath before my fingers touch the keys. Once my fingers touch the keyboard, it doesn't stop. My mind is shooting out idea after idea.
Our story takes place in Boston. I couldn't imagine growing up anywhere else but Boston. I swear, the first thing I remember when I heard someone yelling at someone across the street. Luckily, soon after that happened, my mom's best friend who happens to be your mom told my mom and dad that there was a house up for sale right across the house. We got the house, and the rest is sort of history.
You had two sisters and one brother. Your brother was my age, and my older brother Reed was about your age. My mom swore that I was going to befriend Scott faster due to the fact we were the same age. It was was me and you that gravitated towards each other. Two year age gap didn't matter to us. From the moment I met you when I was a tiny tot, we were always there for each other.
We're basically the same person. When everyone wanted to play outside or catch fireflies until it got dark, we were always found in your room watching every single Disney DVRs tape we could find. Even though it was the 80's and we had more freedom than most kids do nowadays, we always chose to watch Disney films, talk about screenplays or musicals or beg our parents to go on our weekly stargazing adventures every Saturday. We still do that today, and it'll always be my favorite thing to do.
My parents and your parents swore that one day both of us were going to end up married. Their reason was because we were born to be each other's soulmate. I do believe we are soulmates, their is no doubt in my mind about it. A lot of mean girls made fun of the fact I had a boy best friend when I was younger, but I didn't care. You were my person and you still are.
You were my first kiss, you were my date to every single one of my dances, you always came over when I would have a panic attack due to our walkie talkies we hid in our rooms to communicate. You were there for every single accomplishment, every single fall, mistake and tragedy. Not everyone gets so lucky to be blessed to have such a best friend like Christopher Robert Evans, but I for sure will forever be grateful for our friendship, no matter how much I am angry right now.
I remember in high school, I developed the hugest crush on you. I still have one on you, but I just have better ways of concealing it. I was a sophomore in high school, little ole innocent me. I had the hugest crush on Spencer until we had broken up for something I don't even recall. But I guess one day, when I looked at you, it felt like fourth of July fireworks shot up in my stomach. Also, not to sound dramatic but I thought I saw the pearly gates while looking at you. I remember Scott found out right away.
"I can't believe you like him!" Scott shirked quietly as we walked to my locker to grab my books for my next class. "All of my life, I had a gut feeling you two were going to get together and it just so happens that I was right! Carly owes me ten bucks."
"Scott, I swear to god... if you mention this to anyone or even Chris. Your ass is grass Evans, do you understand?" I warned him, grabbing the books I need.
"What? Reece, it is painfully obvious!" He says adjusting his book bag. "Just the way you are around him, and how you look at him! When you talk about him, you get the cheesiest smile on your face!"
"I do not!" I defend myself, but I can feel my smile rising. Why am I such a horrible liar? Only thing I was good at keeping was Scott's secret. He was secretly in the closest and the only person who knew was me after a late night conversation when Chris was away at some acting gig. "Shit, blew my cover.. didn't I?"
"Yeah, you really did. Please don't ever become a spy." I shut my locker and hold my books very tightly, ducking and weaving through the crowd of people that surround me. I couldn't wait to graduate. Everyone here was annoying and childish, it drives me nuts. "I won't tell anyone Reece, I am just telling you that it is so obvious that you are bananas for my older brother. The only person that won't realize it is Chris."
You were always so oblivious. Red flags look more invisible in your eyes. I mean, look at you right now! Do you honestly think Sawyer truly gives a crap about you? There's a reason nobody in your family finds her amazing. Even Veronica, but that is a story for another time.
I would even try my best to flirt with you, but since you are such a natural flirt... I don't even think you actually realized I was flirting with you. I remember you even kissed me during that time.
"Nuh-uh, shut up." Chris tells me as we lay outside, looking up at the stars like we did every Saturday night. My parents and his parents were out of town due to my mom and his mom's work. They were in New York City, looking at all the different theatres and musicals or what not. Carly had moved out, and Scott and Shanna were friends. We always sat in front of Oak tree in your backyard. He says it has the best view of the sky. "So you're telling me that you have never been kissed before?"
"Why do you think that is so shocking?" I questioned, turning my body towards him. "I have never been kissed before!"
"Not even with Spencer?" He recalls when I was in a relationship with him but I had never even attempted to kiss him because he intimidated me. Spencer was a douchebag though. Although he was a romantic flirt, he was always embarrassed to be with me. Just because I wasn't super popular. I remember Chris almost kicked his butt.
"Nope," I say, announcing the p. "I have lived on this planet for about sixteen years of my life and I have never had a kiss. You can laugh at me all you want."
"I'm not going to laugh at you, no," He runs his hands through his hair. I can feel his blue eyes darting down on me and I try my best not to look at him because I'll smile like a freak. "How would you like your first kiss, Reeses Pieces?"
"Hm," I think for a moment, but I couldn't just tell him that I wanted my first kiss to be with him. Underneath the stars late on a warm spring night. I got to think of something on the spot. "Well, as long as it's not in front of people and is something I'll remember forever then I am fine with anything. I am not that picky." I tell him. "Something filled with love and meaning."
"Love and meaning, huh?" He rubs the bottom of his chin and looks up at the stars. "Sounds like something Reece Carter would say." I playfully slapped his arm and he lets out his famous belly laughs.
"You think that's funny?" I asked him, and he nodded as he tried to stop laughing. "I do think it's funny!" He replies and I try to playfully hit again, but instead he starts to tickle me. I always hate being tickled.
"Chris! Stop it!" I laugh in pain as he tickles my sides closely. I am noticing he has a tight firm around my waist but right now in this moment, I just want to stop being tickled. "I am going to bodyslam your ass."
"Like to see you try!" He lifted me up from the ground and I squealed loudly, being taken back. The next thing you know, my back is against the ground and he's hovering over me. Immediately, my breathing hitches. Nobody is saying anything and I'm just looking at him. The next thing I knew, his lips were connected to mine and his soft gentle hand lightly grasped the side of my face. The kiss was passionate, but soft and slow at the same time. I kissed him back of course, because why wouldn't I? Wait Scott hears about this one. He moves slowly, lips overlapping mine and after a few seconds, pulling away.
"See, now you can tell people you've been kissed before!" He tells me, sitting up. I blushed but hit his arm again. This boy was giving me mixed signals. "Look, now you can tell people your first kiss was with your best friend."
We barely mention it at all after that night. I remember telling Scott about what happened but it was already too late. You had graduated high school then along with Reed and after your guys conjoined graduation party, you were moved out to LA. We always kept in touch of course, but due to the fact you weren't around... I guess the feeling went away. As so I have been trying to tell myself that as of recently. I am good at concealing how I feel about you. Truth be told, that kiss was the best kiss I had ever had. You truly made it a magical moment.
But you were so oblivious and you still are to this day. You have this habit of letting every bad person walk all over you, you don't notice what is right in front of you or act on your true feelings. Believe it or not, your best friend knows more than you think. That's what angers me. It pisses me off because I know you are so much better than being blind. Like seriously, I don't understand it.
I hate how oblivious you are.
I looked at my finished complete chapter and smiled to myself. I felt so much better writing down how I truly felt. I had spent the rest of my day watching true crime documentaries and eating food I shouldn't have been eating.
The next day rolled around. Saturday. Even to this day we do stargazing. Once I had moved to LA, Chris told me we always had to do it. We always go to this one secluded spot that we found together once I moved out here. Nine years since and it's my happy place. But I don't know if it's my happy place today. I don't think I want to go to it today, but it is a tradition we have together. It is something I can't break. It's a main part of this friendship. He doesn't even bring Sawyer to this spot. She has asked multiple times, but Chris always says no and explains that it is an important tradition we hold onto. This always leaves into pity arguments caused by her and sometimes it dampens his mood the hours we spend. But, he doesn't let the bad vibes ruin his time with me.
It bothers me all day. I couldn't just not go. Either way, a tradition is a tradition. It's a promise and it's something we have been doing since we were little. Even when it was snowing, or super cold, we would go in either my room or his room to watch it. If it was raining, we would always watch a movie or just spend time with each other. Even now. Saturday nights were for him and I.
The sun slowly went down and I told myself I was going to go to this spot. I worried though, what if he wasn't going to show up? He probably thinks I won't show up. I put on my oversized white hoodie and my grey sweatpants that have mascara stains all over them. My hair I just chose to leave it down. I locked up my house and started up my Toyota Camry. Usually I always had Chris to drive with, but not this time around.
Fifteen minutes of driving, I finally made it to our spot. I pull up and smile to myself once I see his car. I get out and see a familiar figure sitting down, looking at the LA skyline. He doesn't turn around when he sees me, he's probably afraid to talk to me right now. I sit down quietly next to him, but not too close like we always are. Right now we're not in a good part right now. As moments go by, I try to figure out the things I am supposed to say to him.
"I don't hate you Chris," I whisper, turning over to look at him. "I just needed a few days to comprehend everything that happened. As much as I am not a fan of her.. it's your life. I just want you to be happy." He looks over at me and he has tears in his eyes. He genuinely thinks he screwed up and he was going to lose me.
"I should have told you sooner, it would have been fair to everyone." He wipes his eyes, looking at me and I nodded. "Yeah, it would have been. But it's over with right? It happened a few days ago, we can't keep dwelling on it now can we? We only got to look forward, not backwards." He lets out a small laugh and my smile widens. There's the Chris I know.
"So how was New York?" I asked and immediately he starts telling me about his trip. I don't care about the stuff he did with Sawyer. But all that mattered was we were together, being best friends... like we were meant to be. My best friend is my best friend. But I know my feelings for him will emerge during this time. This isn't the ending I really didn't want to see.
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Hi everyone!!! I just posted the first two chapters of this new book and I hope you all are enjoying it. I have truly put my heart and soul into this book so I hope you all love it as much as I do.
Also, WTF!! I want a relationship just like Reece and Chris. Just cute ass babies. I love them.
For those who are asking this is who I imagine as Reece (which you can imagine whoever you want as her, that's the fun part about this) I imagine her as Lily James. Comment who you think you imagine her as!
And for Sawyer, I imagine her as Rosie Huntington! But again, you can imagine her however you want.
Thank you for reading and I am excited to write the next chapter! I'd love feedback on how you guys like this so far. Remember to be kind, and of course be safe. HUGS!!!
- AGENTSOFCARTER