CHAPTER ONE
"Amaia... Amaia..." The sound of her mother's voice pulled her from a daze, forcing her to look away from the window.
After five years, she never imagined returning to Atlanta. Then again, she never imagined having to bury her grandfather so soon either. She exhaled at the thought before pushing her Dior frames up the bridge of her nose.
Following closely behind her mother and baby sister, Milan, Amaia emerged from the limousine that transported them from the church to where they would now lay her grandfather, Miles Gardner, to rest for good.
She wished that she had returned under better circumstances. Since she'd gotten back, she spent most of her time wishing she'd never left. She wished she could've spent more time with her grandfather before he'd fallen ill. She also wished that she didn't allow her relationship with her mother and sister to fall off so badly. Now that she was a bit older, there were a lot of things she wished she had handled differently.
"The service was beautiful, wasn't it?" Robyn queried as she glanced over at Amaia for confirmation while they ventured towards Grandpa Miles's plot.
Amaia smiled faintly before nodding her head while wrapping an arm around her mother's shoulder and giving her a reassuring squeeze. That it was. It was a beautiful ceremony, and the pastor's words seemed to make this transition a bit easier for the time being.
Despite the circumstances, her mother appeared to be happy to see her. However, she wasn't sure if she could say the same about Milan. She hadn't said much to her since she arrived.
It wasn't surprising, being that she and Milan rarely ever saw eye to eye. Their mother often used to joke about her and Milan being like night and day. While her nose was always in a book, Milan's was always busy sniffing out the local hustlers.
Regardless of their differences, she was hoping that things would be better between them after five long years had passed.
The feeling of her mother's trembling body pulled her from her thoughts. She folded her lips in an attempt to suppress the urge to cry along with her. Milan rested a comforting hand on their mother's shoulder while Amaia held her tighter as she wept like a newborn infant.
Amaia's heart ached for her. Being a single mother of two with only her father to rely on for as long as Amaia could remember, she couldn't even begin to imagine having to stomach the idea of burying her last surviving parent and only source of support. She and Milan were now all their mother had.
Robyn had no love in her life, mostly because she preferred it that way. Men had proven to be nothing but trouble from her experience, and Amaia had to agree. Neither of their fathers were in the picture. Milan's father had run off and married a younger woman while Amaia's dad was never around to begin with. She'd never seen him a day in her life and wouldn't know him if he walked right past her.
For years, she'd searched for him in the face of every stranger she bypassed on the street, until one day, she finally gave up. It wasn't her responsibility to find him. If he wanted to know her, to be a part of the life he created, he would find her.
As far as she was concerned, Grandpa Miles was the only father figure she ever needed.
"You just have to remember that he's in a better place now, Ma. He no longer has to suffer," Milan spoke up, hoping those words would provide their mother some comfort.
Robyn smiled faintly as she wrapped an arm around her youngest daughter and planted a kiss on her temple while they trudged off the cemetery grounds. Thirty minutes had passed, and just like that, Grandpa Miles was now one with the Earth.
Amaia fell behind the duo while burying her hands in her jacket pockets. She lifted her gaze from the ground before taking a look around the cemetery one last time. She gasped, suddenly stopping in her tracks, when her eyes landed on none other than Cassius Harris, also known as Cash.
He was only a few feet away and was even more handsome than she remembered. She wasn't sure of what to say to him after five years and wasn't certain if there was anything that needed to be said after the way things ended between them.
Tearing her gaze away from him, Amaia had finally managed to come to. She pursed her lips and folded her arms over her breasts as she scrambled to catch up with her mother and sister. Their driver held the door open for her, stepping aside once she finally reached the vehicle. She peered over her shoulder once more to see that Cassius was, in fact, still watching her.
After turning away and slipping into the limo, she thanked the driver just before he closed the door behind her once she was safely inside.
Meanwhile, Cash never seemed to come out of his daze while he watched the limousine pull off with the woman he once loved in tow. She'd gotten away so fast that he didn't get the chance to speak. From what he'd just seen, it was safe to say that was exactly what she wanted. She didn't appear to be too happy to see him. He couldn't say that he blamed her.
"Aye, bruh, you good?" Cash's best friend, Grant, questioned once he caught up to him. Cash's eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he snapped out of his thoughts and turned to his friend.
"I didn't know Amaia was in town..." he trailed off.
"Slim?"
"Yeah, nigga. Who else?"
Grant smirked as he noticed just how shook up his boy was. You would've thought he'd seen a ghost. That was what Amaia might as well had been to him. Since they'd fallen out five years ago, she moved away and never looked back. It was as if she had fallen off the face of the Earth.
Cash's facial expression was unreadable. Grant had no way of knowing if he was happy to see his ex or if he wanted to send her right back where she came from. "You know she and Miles were tight. Did you really think she would miss his funeral?" Grant pointed out.
Releasing a breath as he dragged a hand down his face, Cash could only nod. He was right. Not only was Miles a pillar of the community but he was the closest thing Amaia and Milan had to a father. To Miles, his girls were the best thing since sliced bread, and they thought equally of him.
Cash could never forget the first time Amaia had introduced the two of them. From that very moment, he'd made it clear that he'd lay his life on the line to protect the women in his family. He could only imagine what they were going through right now.
Grant watched him carefully while he went through several different emotions. Seeing Amaia again had obviously thrown him off.
"Aye, Cash, we gotta get going. We got business to handle," Grant advised, snapping him back into reality as he nudged him before starting towards the car.
***
"Hey, Nene! It's so nice to see you. I know... we have so much to catch up on. I'll be right back, okay?" Amaia exclaimed with a forced smile as she maneuvered through the kitchen. She was lying through her teeth, and she was sure her cousin knew it. It amazed her how easy it was for her so-called family to pretend as if they were actually happy to see her and gave a damn about what went on in her life.
Half of the people crowded around her mother's house hadn't done so much as pick up a phone to call her mother or grandfather in years, long before she even left Atlanta. She knew that none of that should matter now and that they all should come together during such a great loss. However, she just couldn't bring herself to pretend.
Relieved to finally have a moment of peace, she stepped onto the patio with a bottle of wine in hand. She shut the sliding door behind herself before taking a seat on the sectional and joining her sister and childhood friend, Bambi. They watched while the younger children indulged in a game of catch.
Amaia exhaled as she kicked off her heels before filling her glass with Moscato. Milan shifted in her seat as she spared her sister a glance. She cleared her throat before challenging, "Don't you think it's a little too early in the day for wine?"
She said nothing as she placed the wine glass to her lips. She stared into the distance— almost in a daze-like state— as she finished her drink in two gulps. She turned to her sister as she lowered the glass from her lips.
"I saw Cash today. He was at Granddaddy's funeral," she blurted before grabbing the bottle of Moscato and pouring herself another drink.
Neither Bambi nor Milan were sure of how to respond. They remained silent, deciding to allow her to indulge in her wine in peace. Knowing the history between the two of them, they had no choice but to understand her attempt to lose herself in the bottom of the bottle.
Amaia and Cash once had the type of relationship that many people would pray for. However, things went left for them shortly after he lost his older brother.
***
2013
"There goes my babyyy..."
Amaia groaned as she shifted in her sleep. She brushed her hair from her face before yawning loudly while stretching her limbs. She rolled onto her side and then reached for her ringing cell phone. However, the call ended before she could get to it. The ringing instantly began once again, making her eyes dart open.
Knowing it was Cash calling, she sat up in bed before snatching her phone off the nightstand. "Hey, baby," she groggily answered while resting against her headboard.
Her faint smile faded immediately as worry consumed her. The sound of Cash's uncontrollably loud sobs put her on high alert. His cries were heart-wrenching.
A confused Amaia jumped out of bed and scrambled to her feet. "Cash, you have to talk to me. What's going on, baby?" she spoke softly, trying her best to remain calm for him.
However, she was on the verge of panicking. She wasn't sure what to think. She didn't know if he was hurt or what exactly had transpired. She needed him to talk to her, but he seemed to be too distraught to do so.
"I'm coming to you, babe," she told him.
She placed her cell on speakerphone and tossed it onto the bed before pulling on a pair of cotton shorts, her favorite hoodie, and then stepping into her slides. She grabbed her phone, wallet, and keys before emerging from her bedroom. She moved down the hallway in quick strides but stopped in her tracks when she reached her younger sister's bedroom.
She knocked softly before pushing into the room. "Milan... Milan..." she whispered as she stepped inside.
"Hmm?" her sister hummed, not moving an inch.
"I'm about to step out for a few. I need you to cover for me if Mama or Granddaddy wakes up looking for me. Okay?" Amaia shifted her weight while awaiting her sister's answer.
"Milan! Did you hear me?" she pressed.
"Okay... I will! Just stop talking so loud," she griped. Amaia thanked her before muttering an apology and then backing out of her room.
Once she'd made it out the house, she let Cash know that she was on the way. Without a word, he ended the call. Moments later, she received a text with his current location.
Fifteen minutes later, she pulled up to the park just a few blocks away from Cash's home. After throwing the gearshift in park, she snatched her keys out of the ignition before hopping out of her Camry and shutting the door behind herself. "Cash, what are you doing here? Why aren't you home? What has you so upset?" she bombarded him with questions while carefully examining him.
He sniffled as he swiped his hand across his face. Without a word, he wrapped his arms around her. He embraced her for a long time while burying his face in her neck. Amaia bit the inside of her cheek as she wrapped her arms around him and rubbed his back in soothing circles. He sighed deeply, finding comfort from her touch.
After a moment of silence, he lifted his head and croaked, "It's O."
She gasped before pulling back to look him in his bloodshot red eyes. Cash had two older brothers, Omari and Odell Jr.—also known as O and OJ. Although they were twins, they were complete opposites.
While OJ was charming, well-mannered, and on the straight and narrow, Omari was what some would consider the "black sheep" of the family. For a long time he had been troubled and was deeply involved in the streets.
"What do you mean? What about O, baby?" Amaia quizzed, although she was afraid that she may have already known the answer. She took him by the hand and pulled him in the direction of the nearest park bench before insisting that he told her what happened.
He pinched the bridge of his nose as he cleared his throat. He shook his head, seeming to be struggling with accepting whatever it was he was about to say as the truth. He could barely bring himself to speak. "12 just came by the house... and... and... a nigga killed my brother," he informed her.
A sharp gasp left her lips as her eyes burned with tears. "W-what? H-h-how?" she stuttered.
Cash swiped away a stray tear. "I don't know, man. According to the folks, he'd gotten into a fight at this house party... and when he came outside... the nigga shot him," he briefly explained.
Amaia's heart was heavy. She knew that the loss of Omari would tear their family apart. She knew, firsthand, just how close he and his brothers were. Their mother might as well had had triplets. They were just that close.
"I'm so sorry, baby," she choked out as a tear slipped down her cheek. She turned to him and pecked his lips before wrapping her arms around him and caressing his nape. "You know I'm here for you, for all of you. You won't have to go through this alone. Okay?"
He nodded as head as he locked eyes with her. "This shit is just so fucked up..."
"I know. I wished this didn't happen. O didn't deserve this."
They sat in silence for a moment before Amaia spoke up once more, "Do you want me to give you a ride home? It's pretty late and I'm sure your mom is worried." She noticed that his car wasn't in the parking lot, so she assumed that he'd walked to the park.
Cash shook his head, letting her know that he needed a little more time.
"Okay," she agreed before letting him know that she'd stay with him.
***
Cash hadn't been the same since Omari passed. They had a few weeks left before graduation and Amaia was beginning to see less and less of him. She knew that he was grieving but life didn't stop because Omari had passed. He still had priorities, goals, and aspirations. If Omari were here, he would be on his ass about remaining focused and staying on track.
She breathed deeply as she pulled into his driveway and then put the car in park. She'd spotted him on the front porch with Grant before she even stepped foot out of the car. With her keys in hand, she slammed the door shut.
"Cash!" she called out to him as she marched up the driveway.
A broad smile spread across his face as he handed the blunt to Grant before rising from his seat. "What's up, baby?" he greeted her at the bottom steps with his hands in his pockets.
His smile fell when he noticed her facial expression. Her lips were puckered, and she had that little wrinkle over her nose that never failed to make him rock solid. However, he could tell that now was not the time to try her.
She was obviously pissed. He just wasn't sure why.
"Shouldn't you be at practice, Cassius?" she queried with an attitude as she crossed her arms over her breasts while cocking a challenging brow.
He kissed his teeth before accepting the blunt Grant extended to him. "I really don't need you riding me, Slim," he retorted before taking a long pull from the blunt.
She scoffed before snatching the backwood from him. "I'm so serious right now, Cash!"
His big game was coming up and he needed to get his head out of his ass. This game was all he had been talking about, especially since a recruiter from UCLA would be in attendance. She wasn't about to allow him to fall off track. Not with him being so close to the finish line.
"Look, if you came over here to bitch, you can turn around and get back in your whip. Get off my back. Damn. Missing one day of practice isn't gonna hurt. I'm good! Aight?" he snapped.
Amaia looked him upside the head, clearly taken aback by his choice of words. "You got it," was all she could manage before throwing her hands up and turning away from him.
She hated to argue with Cash. Things would only escalate and be taken too far. She felt like they were better than that. She knew that he was hurting but it was no excuse to speak to her the way he just did. To refrain from speaking out of anger, she just decided to walk away.
"Wait. Wait. Hold up, baby. I'm sorry," he apologized, knowing he'd hurt her feelings. He jogged lightly to catch up with her and grabbed her elbow once he did.
"Cash, please. Leave me alone. Just let me go," she grumbled while attempting to snatch away from him.
"Slim, just listen to me! Damn!"
She whirled around with a frown on her face before swatting his hand away. "No. You know what, Cash? Fuck you! I've been taking your shit for more than a month now because I understand that you're going through something, but you will not continue to take your anger out on me. I didn't kill Omari! I'm hurt by this loss too," she snarled as she shoved him away.
"Do me a fuckin' favor and don't hit me up until you get your mind right."
He cursed under his breath while he watched as she made a run for her car.
Her chest heaved as she slipped into the driver's seat of her car before slamming the door shut and starting it up. She swiped her hands across her face as tears began to fall. She was so pissed. She couldn't keep from shaking.
She used the back of her hand to wipe her face clean and then spared Cash a glance. She could only shake her head before pulling off with a screech.
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