Sidharth felt full and happy seeing how these little things brought out the innocence in Shehnaaz. She was never apologetic about how all of this was new to her and the way she consumed these new experiences without any filter or pretense was so refreshing. He wanted to be a part of every of her rise and cheer her on and be the first voice of encouragement she heard! As he was eating breakfast before he went to get ready himself he heard some murmurs from the bathroom area and some shuffling and the next thing he knew was that Shehnaaz was rushing out and Rashmi interjecting her and leading her to the glass room and it was obvious that Shehnaaz was in copious tears and Rashmi calming her down.
Sidharth knew Mahira and Paras had done something to further taunt her, he very well knew how they demeaned her, the thing about Sidharth Shukla that everyone massively undermined was how hyper aware he was about everything. It was not something he had to work hard to hone that is something that came super naturally to him, he was hyper aware. He knew exactly what Paras was upto, for Paras pumping Mahira's ego up had become a reflex action, the more Paras was hung up on Mahira and her tantrums and Sidharth reckoned that between the two
Of them they would run themselves to the ground in doing that, it did sit on him uncomfortably that they demeaned Shehnaaz so much but they more they did that the
More her genuinely shine through.
In all this, in this house there were only a handful of things that he was fully confident of, one his integrity, the next Shehnaaz and her authenticity, it irritated him, it drove him up the wall and all was only because sometimes she was far too strung on her emotions than she should be but he knew what frustrated him was something he and she can work on together outside but right now he was going to let her fight her own battles. What Paras and Mahira did to her made her shine on more brightly, when pegged against them it really shone through how she was as a human and a player eons ahead of them. What really got him was how she played into Asim and Rashmi, they had found her weak spot and had learnt the art of speaking to her how she liked to spoken to.
He was at a loss to understand what happened last night and this morning. He deeply sighed because he knew she was hurt but for the life of him could not figure out why exactly, he knew some of it but not all of it. He clenched his jaw and went to get ready. He needed to start communicating with her, he was physically tired and everyone was coming at him with full guns ablazing and his balm, his calm his voice of reason seemed to have lost her way to him. He decided to park it till after the shooting before he did something about it.
Shehnaaz was amongst the first to get ready, she was sullen and sad, she knew she had crossed the line in playing the fool with Asim during his task yesterday. It was getting to her that Sidharth was looking so tired and worn out and yet he seemed to be indulging in everything that Rashmi and Asim were throwing his way and in between all this also falling into it further along with Mahira and Paras. While all these thoughts were going on she gasped, she saw Sidharth scurrying into the bedroom as the blinds were being drawn for the task set up. He was looking so handsome despite the stress and the illness he looked so fine. She gasped and stared at him, and he noticed it and gave his cocky smirk, she quickly looked away embarrassed, cursing under breath. And that started a staring and looking away match between the two of them, they were for the casual
Observer having conversations with their friends and fellow
Contestants but in essence the only person they saw and observed was each other. Shehnaaz could not help chuckle that he and she were in such similar colours. These things set her heart flutter, to be wanted to be yoked with him, to be associated with him in every sense of the word. She deeply sighed, there was no use in being apart from him. She wanted to be next to him, she wanted to calm him, she wanted to soothe his anxiety and stress, even if it meant him pushing her away ruthlessly, she was willing to take the risk. He was worth it, they were worth it. She decided to Bare her soul as always. After the shooting she decided.
In the middle of their staring match the captain's room blinds opened and there was the sultry Mallika Sherawat in all her sultry and glorious self was sashaying to her famous number. She was definitely the master of her craft and she played her part to the hilt. She began with a bang by flirting provocatingly with Sidharth who being so used to female attention played along perfectly. Mallika Sherawat on cue of the creatives dropped the jealous word often and tried to get a rise out of Shehnaaz, Sidharth sitting on that sofa literally started getting palpitations because he soon got drift of what was happening. The channel
Seemed to be feeding off shehnaaz's vulnerability. He had been in the industry far too long and recognized how vulnerabilities were exploited for higher ratings and trp. Shehnaaz in any mode was good entertainment and he saw how they were now taking cues from her to extrapolate and exaggerate her vulnerabilities. He wanted to get by her side and somehow ask her to tone it down. Ugh he was getting irritated with this jealousy narrative and in a desperate bid to deflect from her kept poking at Vishal. Not that any of it mattered really because this crazy and completely unbridled, brilliant, sexy, sweet, frustrating Shehnaaz who he was so desperately in love with this Shehnaaz was not making any of it easier for him or her or them!
She again called on Paras when she had the opportunity to get up and in one fell swoop put all aspersions at rest but instead of that she further dug herself into a deeper pit! Even the the task of him and Arti was all done to poke her at her weakest. He wanted to go back in time and
Erase every moment when Shehnaaz lived with her heart on her sleeves...He closed his eyes in exasperation and waited for the day to be over.
Shehnaaz did not know what to do, what she had started in jest yesterday seemed to have taken a life of its own and she really did not care for any of the rest of it other than the fact that Sidharth was now at a distance, he seemed happy with Mallika, seemed to be so comfortable seductively sharing strawberries with Arti and even laughing and sharing a great camaraderie with Paras and Mahira and even a shefali zariwala. Everything he did with them seemed to take her farther away from him. The jealous word triggered emotions in her that confused her and overtook her. In all this she just wanted to crumble and give into her emotional exhaustion...to unsee everything she had seen Sidharth doing with other women, she was in no mood to be matured or calm or composed. She just retreated into the bedroom while everyone was getting a bite to eat during the break in shooting. She was too wound up and too nauseous out of anxiety to eat.
Sidharth was really tensed over the way Asim was constantly getting at him and Rashmi did not seem to let up either and top everything else he noticed Shehnaaz slinking away into the bedroom...she had not eaten anything since morning. He wanted to go to her and atkeast get her to eat a bite or two...but whenever he tried to go near her that bloody bagga was there all the bloody time! He as it is did not think anything great of her and to top
It all she seemed to comfortably ride piggy back on Shehnaaz....he once again casually walked into the room and was relieved to find a short reprieve as Shefali.b had gone away for a bit and an added bonus that no one else was in the room. As soon as he went into the room Shehnaaz was both relieved and restless. She was too vulnerable to take anymore hurt from him and perhaps he was the only one who could make her better. She sat up and tried to wipe her tears away when she heard him say from across of his side of the bed to her "Aaj liquid diet ka plan hai kya tera! Khud kay ansoo
Aisay pee rahi hai! Khud start karti hai saaray kaand Aur bill dusron pe
Phaadthi hai! Now wipe your tears and go get something to eat!"
She sat there and gasped "haaye tu mere sey baath kar raha hai???!!!" She asked confusedly, shukla reaching out to her? Was she having. Grand delusions?? Must be that only she thought, there was no way Sidharth would talk to her and did a double take when she heard him again " nahi mein Teri aatma sey baath kar raha hoon! Gadhee aur koi hai yahan???? idhar sey nikalthay hee tera check up karwana padhega Aur tere dimaag ke andhar itna ghoosa bharra hai naa usko toh surgery karke hee nikalwaana padega. Baahar sar ke upar jasisay yeh gandhay curls hai Vaisay hee andhar bhi ek dum
Confused aur entangled hai tera bheja!" He seethed but as frustrated as he was with her, they way she was pouting at him was impossible and he could not find it in himself to say anything more. She gave him a quizzical and a challenging expression "acha baahar milega merese? Ha! Bada aaya mera check up karayega. Khud mujhay paagal aur jealous ka tag detey hain aur khud check up ki baath kartay hai. Sahi hai yeh! Kal raat...."
Before she could continue he quickly interjected and said "ek second, yeh jealous jealous tumnay aur Paras nay shuru kiya hai faaltu mein meko muth ghaseeth iss keechad mein samjhi? Kal raat kya hua, kal raat tu ghusee, ham log Vishal ke baarein mein kuch bol rahay thay usmein tera kya problem bey! Teko kyun itna bura laga???? Mere liye toh itna gandhaa boltay hai yeh log lekin madam ke khaas dost Vishal ko Paras aur Mahira tease kar rahay thay aur phir bhi Bill mere par hee phaadna hai madamjee ko!" Saying this he just stopped himself because he was getting agitated and louder than what he would have liked to.
Shehnaaz right then had a light bulb moment because what Sidharth said made so much sense, she had wrongly assumed that they were laughing behind her back, she rushed to their bed and was about to sit next to him when he stopped her saying "dhoor reh kar baath karo, saala saara panga yehi hai ke baath theek sey nahi hoti hai bas jhappi pappi karo phir lado
Marr0! Dimaag ka ek dum bhurjee ban gaya hai. Saala Anday ke liye ladh ladh ke khud murghi ban gaya hoon. Wahi baith kar baath karo jo bhi karna hai!"
Shehnaaz wanted to desperately giggle at how cute angry Sidharth was and at the relief that flooded her "sidhaaaaarth" she whines "mujhay lagaa ke tum teeno mere pe hass rahay thay...aur mein already hurt this ke tumay Mahira kay support mein mere against bola....sorry na bebu...Mujhay tere paas aana hai, teko hug karkay sona hai, pls mein aajaoon?" She pouted and pleaded with her eyes and expression.
All Sidharth wanted to do was to gather her in his arms and kiss her silly pout away but he did not want to so easily give in to her cute antics just yet, she had exasperated him in so many ways and he wanted to pay some of it back in kind...so he said "nahee koi zaroorat nahi hai...ja apnay bagga ko hug karke so, gayee thee na kal uskay paas...Abhi yeh tera punishment hain, paas muth aana not till I let you! Samji badee ayee hug karkay sona hai! Chal ab bahar nikal aur chai pee aur naashta kar." Saying that both of them filed back out, they both were relieved and felt like a huge burden was lifted, but as things were so easily un entangled between them that much more downward the fight between Sidharth and Rashmi went, saying it got ugly would be an understatement. Things got unimaginable ugly when Sidharth inadvertently said something to Rashmi about not letting her into his home anymore and then she hurled hot tea onto hom and Arhan with foolish bravado did too and that is when Sidharth lost it completely and as Shehnaaz heard his guttural cry she
Rushed out....she knew she was the only one that could come between Sidharth and his own anger, as righteous and right as his indignation was she knew he would not
Count the cost, not unless she stood upto it bravely. So without knowing what it was that happened she ran into the storm and only Sidharth and his well being was her reality.
As volatile as the situation was, as wild and angry Sidharth was, all he knew was Shehnaaz had rode into the storm once again and that is all he needed. Her presence both calmed and fuelled him, he had the strength to unleash knowing fully well that she would reign him in. He was aware, aware how everyone else was peripheral and ineffective maybe voluntarily so, but she, she kept reminding him of his own boundaries of how he would end up disappointing himself and no one else. He at that moment would have defeated himself if she was not there to be the word of caution.
Shehnaaz did not know what she was doing, all she could see was Sidharth infuriated beyond reason and in a way that would consume himself. She desperately hoped what she was chanting would work. There were so many moments he clung into her, dug his fingers into her flesh and also hugged her back...she marvelled at how he allowed himself to be so
Vulnerable to her even when he was raging like a wild beast . She sighed in relief as she felt his anger abating....only to find Paras and Mahira trying to make their presence felt and she again in disgust lashed out at them. They hit back the only way they knew best....a whole string of jealous and fake taunts came flying at her and each one hit her and weakened her defences and at one point she even had to bear tbat she did not come to intervene earlier when Sidharth needed her. That really punched her in the gut and a fear crept in if Sidharth too felt the same way. She let it go by for now only because Sidharth was so precariously placed in his anger and reactions.
They resumed shooting and Shehnaaz strangely because there was no reason for her to massively felt the hots for Sidharth and the way he unapologetically defended his every action and word and had a logical explanation to everything. And just by representing who he was and believed in so smoothly and efficiently broke down every ridiculous insinuation hurled at him.
She was bugged also because they did not get a private moment together, she strongly suspected that between the three of them Arti, Paras and Shefali z they had decided to not let them be alone, the lesser they communicated the more vulnerable they would be. She ofcourse had no way to prove this to be true or not but the optics heavily suggested it.
Once again they were back at shooting and her body just tingled all over at the way he so suavely and yet cutely told her and everyone else that what she said and did hurt him too. Even salman who till then looked like he had enough of the contestants could not help breaking into a smile. When they had a small break she rushed out to him and he came out of the smoking room and stood staring at her relieved and strangely she too stared back without budging...and as they looked at each other she asked him sweetly "mera punishment ho gaya ki ab bhi baaki hai, agar baaki hai toh Thoda pause karega, meko tere pe bohot pyaar aa raha hai, pls
Meko abhi ek hug chahiye." For the first time Sidharth felt what it meant to feel at home with a person, she was so sweet and innocent and she was so willing to be strung along with him. He broke into a smile and as they walked into each other they both noticed Arti coming upto them and Sidharth chuckled as he heard her murmuring "aa gayi Teri baby sitter"
After all the buzz had died down Sidharth was back in ruminating mode, and once again he found himself getting angry and riled up over the blatant lies and drama Rashmi was willing to put on. All this just to defame him, did she not already have her time doing that. And as he did that he felt soft fingers caressing his hair and he instantly recognized who it was...he reached out to his own hair and pulled her fingers away and intertwined them with his and tugged her onto the sun bed on which he was lounging. She sat aside him without saying anything. She just had a soft smile on her face as she studies his face. All her raw emotions and admiration for him on full display...she cupped his face with both her tiny palms and he loved how it covered only a fraction of his face but managed to envelop his entire being with the relief it brought flooding into his being. He sighed at the feeling of calm that gushed within him. She drew both their foreheads together and closed her eyes abs whispered to him "bebu mere itna gussa, ke apnay aap ko bhi lay dubayga? Sidharth jab tu yeh show jeetay ga tab tu yeh sab regret karega, atkeast voh soch kay muth kar yeh sab pls?" Saying this she lightly pecked him on his lips and sat up straight and once again tucked her fingers into his and allowed him to vent and she also interjected boldly when she had to, even if it meant him getting irritated with what she had to say!
Sidharth admired her Authenticity and felt blessed that there was someone who had the guts to speak the truth. He wanted to soak her in completely, he felt that in allowing himself to be lost in her, a lot of his anger and restlessness will dissipate simply because she was so uncomplicated and straight forward. He was about to ask her to snuggle into the day bed when he noticed Paras and Mahira coming out to join them. He noticed shehnaaz's expression changing and before they could come over he quickly caressed her cheek and said "baby aaj thoda time baahar sothay hai phir andar jaatay hain, tu jaakay quilt
Leke aayegi?" After that he sat and listed to whatever Paras had to say and then very politely told him "chal bhai yeh kissay toh itnay aasaani say khatam nahi honay valay, baby tu quilt leke aana idhar hee thodi dhaer sothay hai, tum log bhi sojao, we meet tomorrow, goodnight" and saying so he went to change leaving a very awkward Paras and Mahira who had no other option to comply. In the meanwhile Shehnaaz had gotten hold of a quilt and a couple of pillows and settled into one sun bed and waited for Sidharth to join her, which he soon did, smelling all fresh and ocean breezy soapy refreshing and Shehnaaz once again could help
Marvel at his charm and aura. She had shivers running through her body as a natural reaction to how raw and magnificent and how masculine he was!
He stood at the way she was just looking at him and not budging making space for him till he finally nudged her with his thigh and said "Abey moti thoda andhar Jaa naa mein kaisay ghusoonga"
And she cleverly quipped "acha jee hammay laga ki hamaari kya haisiyat ke hum aapkay saath Ek razai Mein ghussay, aapka toh level hee alag hai. Mainay socha ki aap sirf Mallika Sherawat ke saath yeh sab pasand Karengay" saying this she cheekily looked at him with a grin and a giggle. He knew exactly what she meant and loved her for it as well he pulled at her cheek hard and settled in next to her as he said "moti baby is jealous??? Aur tum Paras Paras karti ho toh mein kya sochoon?" He said this with absolute vulnerability and she quickly replied "array aisa kuch nahi hai, voh mera sabsay bada competitor
Voh hai, toh obviously yaar mein usko chaydoongi!" And before she could complete she gasped involuntarily because Sidharth while she was speaking had manage to cover both of them with the quilt, spooned her even and had slipped one hand under her neck and the other around her chest and his right hand now lay cupping her mound and agently caressing her peak with his thumb.
He whispered "Shehnaaz I miss you so much! Jab tu aayi na
Ladayi
Ke beech aisa laga ke
Mein safe house pohomch gaya hoon aur mere saath abhi mera ek aur khadaa hai!" Saying this he bit her earlobe and then nestled his nose into her neck and started w loop of kissing , nibbling nipping and licking the sweet spot there.
Shehnaaz was losing focus and all she could manage to ask him was "Sidharth tu bhi maanta hai ki kal mein nahi aayi tere beech, hunh? Bol na?" And saying this she turned around facing Sidharth and he immediately drew her flush against him and covered them both with the blanket and before she could register anything he drew her into a deep
Passionate kiss that was both comforting as well as healing. And he then came out of the blanket, smoothed her hair, firmly kissed her ok the forehead and whispered back "does tbat answer your question?" And he looked at her and noticed how shy she because when he was being intimate with her. He got excited and he felt strangely more
Alive than alive when she became all coy with him, He felt alive grown up and virile.
They both sighed and took comfort from the physical
Proximity. He had snaked his arm up
Her top and kept
Smoothing her bare back up and down with feathery movement. In all this he would peck her forehead and caress her lips with his fingers while she traced the contours of his face with her fingers. After a few moments of comfortable silence Sidharth asked her " teko nahi jaan na hai ki Rashmi aur mere beech kya problems hain, sab puchtay hai lekin tu kabhi nahi poochthi hai? Aisa kyun?"
She smiled and sighed deeply, she wondered if he was ready for the truth, still she could not lie to him, she was not ashamed of her feelings for him but she was not sure if he was ready to face them. She shuddered before responding and this time she looked square in his eyes and said " ek reason yeh hai ki teko share karna hai to tu karega, Vaisay bhi details ho na hoo trust toh mein teko hee kar sakthi hoon. Tu na jhoot bolega na ussay doosray
Logon ko fasayega. Correct hai na?"
"Hmmmm"he deeply rumbled "correct jawaab, second reason? Aur second reason Batao?"
But before she could respond he once again spooned her and started nibbling her neck and caressing her mounds and running his tumb over her peaks and all this while kept smoothing her forehead with his other hand. Shehnaaz felt so replete and loved, secure yet aroused and all that fuller her response "darr thee hoon. Lagta toh hai ki tum log bohot close thay isiliye usnay teko itna disappoint or hurt kiya hai. Sach Sunnay ki shamtha nahi hain kyunki phir mere insecurities confirm ho Jayenge. Confirm ho jayega ki tu kiseesay deewano ki Tarah pyaar karta tha aur tera voh sacha pyaar ho aur ek din tu realize karega aur phir se tum log ek dusray ke ho jaogay aur voh hamaara friendship thodegee" saying this she quickly turned around and buried her head into his out of sheer embarrassment and she could feel him shaking in uncontrollable laughter. One because what she said was so preposterous second because it felt so so good to hear that she was so insecure about losing him, like he mattered so much to him and that she was so invested in him. It was hai turn to cup her face now and he looked her squarely in the eye and said "tomorrow I will tell you exactly what happened, aur pyaar meko sirf ek baar hua hai aur aakhri baar hua hai. Serious relationships rahein hai, lekin meko patha tha ke voh pyaar nahin hai lekin yeh bhi nahi patha tha ke pyaar saala hotha kya hai." She listener to him intently but with a sadness thinking that he was in love and as he just confirmed what she always knew about him that he was someone who would invest only in the one true love of his life. But she was a sucker for pain she asked him "phir? Phir kaisay patha chala?"
He pecker her on the forehead and drew her into a hug and whispered back "voh mein mere pyaar sey hee boloonga na darling, not now, not here and not like this" he had dropped as massive and as obvious a hint as he could, desperately hoping that she would get it. Little did he know that she had always considered it out of the realms of possibility that a Sidharth shukla would fall in love with her so while he though he was dropping a hint all it did was confirm her fears that she would never be his.
She was a practical girl, she resolved that what she had with him was super special and she decided to enjoy the rest of the time with him in this house. She had no doubt that within these walls, he was most attached to her and that she regarded as life's reward for now.
Long update by my usual standards. Apologies for the late updates. Life gets in the way, I do appreciate all the votes and comments though. Thank you for keeping yourself invested in this books