"Lip gloss." You whispered.
---
You briefly explained what Spencer was to do. You walked away, you went downstairs to see all the women and make sure everything was alright. You went to the last three groups the ones that you were most worried about, you struck conversations with as many as possible. It was astounding how many of them could laugh and be happy about where they are today and forget about where they were a few days ago.
You finished conversations and visited the other groups before returning upstairs. You were happy. Were you though? Yes, you were back you had your soulmate upstairs and your friends, you saved over 10,000 people. You've been going through serious PTSD ever since yesterday. You didn't plan on telling anyone. You needed to finish this. You went to the bathroom by the BAU, you locked the door.
You put your hands on the counter, you looked into the mirror trying to calm yourself. You noticed your shaking you felt sick. You puked and the memories flowing through your brain. You fell to the ground squeezing yourself trying to stop the shaking. You kept crying. You got up and looked in the mirror, you counted down from 100 and pointed out things around you. This was a panic attack. You felt scared you weren't there anymore stop just stop. But it wasn't that easy.
After awhile you calmed yourself down, you fixed yourself in an effort to look normal. You took a few more deep breaths then walked out of the bathroom into the bullpen. You went around and grabbed all the files that everyone had been working on, you had more than 200. You put them in a conference room. You left every 20 files to interview another woman. You agreed with almost every case there was 4 you read that you didn't agree with their decision. You had brought all the files you looked over to Pen and asked her to put into her database where each woman was meant to go.
The four you had read were about women who didn't feel safe going back home. You took the elevator back to the BAU you swung the glass doors open and rushed into the bullpen you stormed into Hotch's office. You slammed the files on his desk. "What the hell Hotch? Explain to me why you are sending these four women home if they don't feel safe going back home?" You yelled.
"Y/n please calm down."
"Calm down? You want me to calm down? These women have been through hell and back and you plan on sending them home like nothing happened? Explain it, go on." You lowered your voice a little.
"Agent, these women don't feel safe because of the trama not because of the people they are returning to."
"Hotchner, You have to be kidding me right? Then what makes more sense, therapy or time in a hospital until they are personally ready to return or sending them back and hoping for the best? I prefer Doctor, I worked 8 years to earn that title and only 3 to be agent."
"Y/l/n?"
You scoffed and stormed out of his office. You weren't taking this shit. You went back to the room you were working in and slammed the door. You closed the blinds and turned off the lights. You took multiple deep breaths to avoid the rage bubbling inside. You paced trying to focus and calm down.
The door opened, you jumped and looked to see who it was. Spencer. He walked in and turned on the light, closing the door behind him. He walked over to you. You threw your arms around him and rested your head on his shoulder. You gave in, you can be vulnerable around Spencer. He squeezed you back holding you. "It's ok baby, I'm here, Your alright." He told you kissing the top of your head. You pulled away from the hug we cupped your face so he could look into your eyes. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.
He cleared the tears off your cheeks. He kissed your forehead after you didn't respond. He just held you while you cried. You started to stop crying, you looked at his eyes again, you kissed him. He kissed you back. He pulled away he had concern all over his face. "Baby, what's wrong?" He asked.
"I hate this bub. I hate that I have to read everything that had happened to these women, everything and I...I just want to be back, to spend all day with you. I don't want to be here." You said.
"Ok, we can go, let me go talk to Hotc-"
"No, that's the thing I need to stay here." You said.
"Y/n baby, if you want I can have Pen send you the details and you can approve it from home." He said. Home. You hadn't officially moved in together but maybe you should.
"No, I'll stay here." You said.
He nodded, "Ok. Let's go get some lunch. How does that sound?" He asked.
"Can Pen come?" You asked. You didn't need to waste more time you wanted these women to get to go home, to be somewhere else.
"Of course Garcia can come." He pulled his phone out and sent two text messages. You sat down with your elbows on the table holding in the tears. He put his hand out in front of you. You took it and walked out of the building with him. When you got to the car the colorful Pen walked toward you. She out her bag on the concrete and hugged you.
You got to a dinner. You had all ordered you got soup. The conversation was nice everyone was laughing and talking. It was nice sitting with Spencer and Pen.
"Pen, did you know Sierra was pregnant?"
"Yes I did." She smiled, everything went silent. It wasn't per se awkward but it was calming no noise of anything. "So, you two huh?" She said.
You laughed, "Yep ever since my first day, and we kept it from you. I don't know how we did that." You said.
"Actually it was pretty easy, two genius profilers handling their behavior so Garcia didn't find out a secret." She hit his shoulder and you laughed.
"Are you two going to have babies?" Pen asked. You knew that question was probably the point of her earlier one. "Oooo, or get married." She was excited about your future. You and Spence talked about this a year ago but a lot had happened in a year.
You looked at him looking for the right answer. He just smiled. "We talked about it a while ago, and we both said it wasn't the right time." You said.
"That was a while ago, what about now?" Ok you loved her with every bit of your soul but really, I mean she was right. That was a question you knew your answer to but you were afraid for his answer. He shrugged, that's weird, why is he so sassy right now. Here comes your passive aggressive side.
"I would say yes if he asked, but as for babies I don't know?" You said honestly. Well mostly, you wanted to have his kids. You never wanted kids, but you know he does and you would love to have a kid if it was his. A baby in this moment maybe not, but in 9 months? Maybe.
"What do you mean you don't know?" He asked. He perceived that wrong.
"No-no, I want kids with you, it's just the timeline, y'know?" You said. You felt almost embarrassed.
"Well if my opinion matters, now sounds great." Pen said. She loved being cool aunt Pen. You wanted Sierra's baby and yours to be close in age but, you didn't know where Spencer stood.
Your food got there pretty great timing too. Lunch was really good and the soup really helped. Spencer paid for everyones meal like a gentleman and Pen drove to headquarters. She got out, and rushed inside. It was your car so you grabbed Spencers hand, you were in the back seat. You crawled over the consel and sat in the drivers seat.
"When do you want kids?" You asked.
"I'm not sure y/n." He was lying and you knew it.
"Lying now? Seriously when do you want kids?"
"Soon." He said breaking eye contact. It makes sense you both weren't getting any younger. "But we don't have to, if you don't want to or you aren't ready."
"No, I am. I want our baby to be close in age to Sierra's and I also really want to start our future."
"Our future?" He looked at you again and smiled.
"Yeah, I mean why not."
He pulled you into a kiss a passionate one at that. He was all smiles. "So we're trying?" He asked.
"We're trying. The timing is great I haven't taken birth control in a long time so..."
He kissed you again, "Alright come on let's finish working so we can go home and start."
You laughed and got out of the car, he ran over to your side and grabbed your hand walking back to the building. You walked back into the small office and went through another 1,000 cases approving almost all of them but three. You had a pile with the three. You left the small office, you handed the multiple boxes with files to Pen and other Tech analyst. You told Pen to go home it was almost 6. You told everyone to go home. Everyone did but Hotch he couldn't leave till you did. Spence was following you around everywhere. You fixed the three and did 5 more then checked on all the groups.
You asked random victims if they had eaten enough and been taken care of all of them were very grateful. You and Spence left.
As soon as you stepped out of the building you noticed it was pouring rain, you would be soaked trying to get to your car. Spencer grabbed his balzer and threw it over the both of your heads. You both walked into the rain. You got an idea. You grabbed his waist and rushed him into the car you got into the driver's seat. "Why the rush?" He asked.
You drove fast ignoring his question. You stopped at a red light pulling your phone out and turning on a song. You paused it before he could hear it. The light turned green and you set your phone back in the cup holder. You drove for a moment then saw it you parked the car in a parking lot and rolled down the windows blasted the music and stepped out. He stayed in the car. "Get out." You said. He did.
In the pouring like you had more than a year ago. You pulled him close and swayed with him. He held onto your waist and your hand in his hands. You rested your head on his chest and it was beautiful.
At one point he pulled away and grabbed your hand twirling you in the rain then pulling you back the way you were before. "Spencer, you are amazing. Thank you for always being there for me." You whispered into his ear. He held you tighter, "Thank you babe." He said back to you. You pulled your head away pushing your hand on his check, He let go and grabbed your face, you were centimeters away from your lips locking. You pulled him in moving your hands slowly into his hair as he made out with you. He stuck his tongue at the edge of your lips you let his tongue in with yours. The kiss wasn't fast it was slow and passionate. You were making out with the best man ever in the rain. Your tongues were intertwining with each other, he pulled you further into the kiss.
He did the same thing spinning you whispering how much he loved you in your ear and kissing with the same if not more than before. You returned most of it. How did you get so lucky. He danced with you for what felt like forever. He kissed you anywhere he could. You got annoyed with it at one point and pulled away pulling him in for a regular kiss. You added lust and passion to it. This was the man you would spend the rest of your life with. It didn't scare you but the thought of it did.You were worried about messing it up or worse leaving him, like death leaving him.
You didn't deserve him he was all that and more. He is amazing, how you got so lucky one will never know. He at one point picked you up and you wrapped yourself around him, he held you up by your thighs. He backed you into the hood of the car. You fell back pulling him with you. "We could take this inside the car." you suggested. He nodded, pulling you into the car and rolling up the windows. Neither of you had the patience to pause the music. He sat back in the seat. You unzipped and pulled your pants down while he worked at your shirt. You were left in a bra and panties he was still fully clothed. You took his shirt off leaving hickeys all over his chest.
he moaned as you did. The control you had over this man, you could get him on his knees begging for you. Hmmm, you should try that sometime. He unclasped your bra as you worked on his pants, the song had already changed but you didn't notice it until now, It didn't fit the mood but it was a bombass song. Bebe Rexha's 'I'm Gonna Show You Crazy.' but slowed. You were so wet him moaning like that didn't help with the fact that you were practically dripping with excitement. He pulled you by your waist closer to him, you moaned as you felt his huge boner rub against your inner thigh. He grabbed your throat momentarily cutting off your air supply. He pulled you by your throat your lips crashing against his.
You pulled his boxers down, pushing your hips back so you could rub up and down his shaft. He unclasped your bra and threw it elsewhere. He played with your nipples. He hooked his fingers on your waistband and ripped them off. Bitch that was one of your favorite pairs. You didn't care in the moment it was kinda hot. You lined yourself up. You sat down, him throwing his head back as you bobbed up and down. Your moans filling the cars. He bucked his hips up and held onto your waist speeding you up a lot. You were going so fast your orgasm was quickly approaching.
He helped you as you were getting tired. He finished first you felt accomplished that he finished first. You finished shortly after. You grabbed his work shirt and threw it on so you could drive without public exposure. You drove fast home. You got back and Spence was already completely dressed excluding his shirt, you crawled back over the consul and got dressed you both got out and practically ran upstairs.
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A/N
So since they are trying now there will be a lot of SMUT, if you don't like that sorry. If you do you're welcome. Do you guys have any opinion on the proposal? I have planned out at least 10 more chapters but knowing me I'm going to have a hard time finishing this just because I have a hard time with change.