EDITED
So I've got this friend by the name of @Royal-B_Writes1407 please do go follow.
These past few days have been depressing.
I've been trying to distract myself by reading and drawing and so far it's worked for a few hours but then after that I'm depressed again.
Chase has been avoiding me. Which I'm glad because if I see he I'm just gonna break down in tears......again.
I'm weak....
After Adeline told me about the prophecy I couldn't help but feel so intrigued to find out more about it.
And so far I've found nothing and it's not helping my curiosity. I've read every book, searched every website but nothing it's as if all the information about this prophecy doesnt exist.
It's as if the prophecy itself doesn't exsist.
So I decided to just stop looking and forget about it.
Even though I'm curious I can't keep looking for information on something that's as good as non exsistant.
Today was an uneventful day. Adeline was with her mom doing god knows what and Chase was busy with his dad, his dad's beta and Jake. They were trying to figure out more about the attacks that are still happening around town, but they are at a dead end because they haven't found anything or at least i think so they didn't tell me much.....
Chases pack already knew that I'm was his mate and that I'm also the future Luna, so many people have been coming to the pack house to meet me.
I also figure out in the pack house the Alpha, beta and Gammas family live in it.
Come to think of it I've never seem the Gamma of this pack....I defenatly need to ask about that.
Since it was early morning I took a bath. The silence in the bathroom was loud. Making me feel sad again...Making my thoughts drift. I start thinking about my life and how pathetic it was.
This was why I was never alone because when ever I'm alone I start to think about
Chase....
About my life
About my family...well not anymore.
About my horrible horrible life.
And that makes me feel depressed and it hurts, it hurts to think about it but I can't stop thinking about it.
I've tried avoiding the pain, the hurt i felt but I can't its not going away.
I continued scrubbing my body gradually adding pressure to the point where I was turning pink but I didn't care. After a while it started hurting.
But it felt good.
The physical hurt felt so much better then this emotional hurt.
My dad's beating we much less painful then what Chase did to me.. his rejection but yet it wasn't a rejection.
I kept on scrubbing and everytime I though about my life I scrubbed harder and harder.
I needed this.
To feel something else that isn't rejection that isn't sadness.
My hand started cramping so I stopped and the tears made their way down my face.
I felt so sorry for myself.
It's all I ever do.
I stood up from the now cold water and wraped a towel around my body. I walked to the mirror and stared at my reflection.
After a few minutes of looking at my baggy eyed dry lipped tearful face I picked up a Razer and started cutting my arms.
It was painful at first but it got much better. I watched the blood drop from my arms with a small satisfied smile.
This...distracted me from from everything.
This felt good.
But I'm not stupid enough to make self harm a habit. It is after all addictive.
After a few minutes of standing lifelessly, watching my reflection, I went back into the bath and washed my body.
I then got out and wore a red long sleeved top (to hide the cuts) and black tights.
I got down the stairs made myself a sandwich and watched T.V.
Like nothing happened.
Chase Travis
Me, Jake, my dad and John were in the Study busy going through the things we found out this past week about the attacks.
"I think we should ask other packs if they have had any attacks" Jake suggested.
My dad agreed to his idea and went out with John to probably call the Alphas of other packs to discuss the attacks.
"This is so frustrating. We aren't getting anywhere" Jake sighs.
I nod agreeing with him. I suddenly start feeling tingles on my arms, I was then overwhelmed with a feeling of sadness then joy.
At first I was confused but then Gems name popped into my head.
I then realised that it was her emotions I was feeling. Since we lived together the mate bond was strengthening.
I could lightly feel her emotions.
My wolf growled, wanting to see his mate which made me dizzy but I ignored him, i didn't want to see her. I know I hurt her and i don't think I want to see her break down.
I wouldn't be able to take it, I mean my wolf wouldn't be able to take it.
Jake noticed my distress.
"Hey man you good"
"Yah umm I'm okay. I'm gonna go for a run"
I then went out and shifted....