There is much heavy static over our screen. We can hardly make anything out. We hear a robotic voice beginning to sound over the static.
Computer:
COMMENCING TRANSMISSION! ENGAGING SCRAMBLERS!
The picture is beginning to clear. There is now far, far less static and a breaking picture. We can make out from the static the logo of CaptainThunderWho Century 22 Productions. Behind the now clear logo is more static and fuzziness of a picture. Obviously, it is for some kind of display or transmission.
PROXY CHANG INITIALISED! AND NOW, LIVE FROM HIS HIDDEN BASE SOMEWHERE IN THE DEPTHS OF THE UNIVERSE, THE FUTURE RULER OF TIME AND SPACE, CAPTAINTHUNDERWHO!
The static in the background changes to poor quality footage of clouds rapidly moving and lightning striking. The logo disappears as the shielded face of a man is revealed. He wears a white face helmet and we see his dark red jacket made from an old-fashioned material. The masked man begins to laugh, as we hear it echo loudly and despicably before it quietens.
CaptainThunderWho:
HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA! MUHA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, AHAH, AH, AH, AH, AH, AH, AH!
We have faded into the interior of a lair. We see the Captain in the centre of the screen. Behind him lies a black background with the top left of the screen has lights on the wall reading individually on each "On Air", "Invading the Universe" and "Plotting Revenge". The light for "On Air" shines red. To the left of the screen is a circular console built around a wall leading from the ground up to the roof. We see various coloured lights flashing on his console and see a scrambled screen. To the right, we see some kind of massive glass container with a strange green creature floating inside with a fez on it. It is shaped like a jar, with a large grey handle, and a pipe leading up to the roof. The Captain faces us as he directly addresses us. He speaks with a powerful yet incredibly deep voice.
CaptainThunderWho:
Greetings minions, enemies, and future subjects, CaptainThunderWho has just encountered yet again the incompetent and interfering swarm nemesis of his majesty, the time-travelling alien, the Doctor.
In the jar now, we see the little green thing with its fez on its head featuring the shape of some kind of small dragon with red eyes. It hovers in its containment field as it looks to the Captain. The background has red misty clouds. It speaks with a high-pitched, American, but not annoying sounded voice.
Maxwell:
Uh oh. Well, how did it go? He asked fully expecting your head to explode.
CaptainThunderWho:
Indeed, Maxwell Cazutue. With my blood pressure averaging 300 over 150, this metal helmet is all that keeps my head from blowing to bits. But, CaptainThunderWho... is calm today.
Maxwell:
Hmph. Well, that's a relief. So, how did it go, huh?
CaptainThunderWho:
That meddling Doctor has crossed my path once too often! I have encountered all the incarnations of the Doctors and battled against every face many times! Never in a continuous straight line, always appearing with one face and a fellow traveller, then a new face and another companion, and then another, and another, then another, then another. Always poking his nose into my affairs at precisely the wrong time and ruining my carefully laid and expertly conceited plans of universal domination. Always frustrating my plans, and always turning me into a mockery in front of my prisoner here. And when I myself masterfully engineer the Doctor's destruction, by some trickery like with that wretched Sonic Screwdriver, he escapes the jaws of death!
We hear the sound of the TARDIS echoing around us. The following sequence is inspired by the Destiny Of The Doctors video game trailer.
And with that tin box of a TARDIS! Bring forth the Doctor!
We now see the screen split in half with the Captain at the left and footage of the Doctors to the right accompanied with narration by our antagonist. We begin with the 12th Doctor, showing footage from The Husbands Of River Song, The Magician's Apprentice, and Deep Breath. The Captain laughs.
Ah, the most recent. The closed-off and abrupt one. Flip-flopping from moping in the shadows to thrill-seeking adventures.
We change to the 11th Doctor, with shots from Nightmare In Silver, The Wedding Of River Song, and The Eleventh Hour.
The youngest one! The old man inside the teenage one. Far too baby-faced and jokingly for my taste!
The 10th Doctor from The Waters Of Mars, The Lazarus Experiment, and The Christmas Invasion.
Ah yes. The other energetic and friendly one. How he gloats and sulks to the woman who he lost into a parallel universe forever!
The 9th Doctor from The Parting Of The Ways, Dalek, and Rose.
The one burnt from the Last Great Time War! Believing it was he who finished off his race scaring him for good!
The War Doctor from The Day Of The Doctor and The Name Of The Doctor.
This was the one! A face the Doctor tries very hard to forget because he dares not look back in shame.
The Eighth Doctor from The Night Of The Doctor and The TV Movie.
Here is the romantic one. An enthusiastically charming figure. Passionate, but far too emotionally accessible for my liking!
The Seventh Doctor from Survival, Remembrance Of The Daleks, and Time and the Rani.
The manipulative and mischievous one. One moment he pretends to be the buffoon and the next he is out tricking his enemies.
The Sixth Doctor from The Trial Of A Time Lord, Vengeance On Varos and The Twin Dilemma.
There's the blustering one in the stupid frock coat. A far too loud and noisy clown!
The Fifth Doctor from The Caves Of Androzani, The Five Doctors, and Castrovalva.
Here's the nice one, the gentle, sweet and soft-spoken one. The one who wears that vegetable on his clothes to protect himself against my poisons.
The Fourth Doctor from Logopolis, The Talons Of Weng-Chiang, Genesis Of The Daleks, and Robot.
The bold one! The one with his multi-colored long scarf, jelly babies, and floppy hat and his robot dog!
The Third Doctor from Planet Of The Spiders, Inferno, and Spearhead From Space.
The exiled, action, suave authoritative one with his Venusian karate. The one who left me in knots for days on end. Ooh, he shall pay for that!
The Second Doctor from The War Games, The Tomb Of The Cybermen and The Power Of The Daleks.
The Cosmic Hobo! The scruffy, child-like incarnation. Yet always appears to be a few steps ahead of his enemies, the bumbling idiot!
We now see the First Doctor and the Captain's voice changes to a more happily surprised one. Clips are taken from The Tenth Planet, The War Machines, The Daleks, and An Unearthly Child.
The original! The First Doctor! The very first Doctor! Such wisdom. Such intellect.
Maxwell:
Indeed. We have met all thirteen incarnations of the Doctors, many times. So, back to my original question; how did it go this time, huh? Was it the one with the long scarf who tripped you up with it again as he made his escape, or was it the kung-fu action hero who kicked your arse up again?
CaptainThunderWho:
No Maxwell. This time it was the most recent one. And the most disappointing this was that I thought I really had him this time. I was so near to causing an interplanetary war that would have eventually wiped out all life on Earth.
Maxwell:
Hmph. I've heard that one before. You'd better fill me in with all the details so you can feel a little better when you tell me all about your troubles.
CaptainThunderWho:
Well, Maxwell, it goes like this...
(Opening titles)