✿ TWENTY-SIX ✿
"Out of control
What can I do"
___
They arrived at the bridge early in the morning. The walk to it had been exhausting, but the way Finn and Clarke had been circling around each other the whole night, completely ignoring her entire existence, had been more exhausting. She was glad to see Octavia waiting on the bridge already, immediately pulling the girl in for a hug.
"Why doesn't it surprise me that you got involved?" Octavia asked her, chuckling softly as she let go.
Katherine smirked, giving Pather, who was already reaching a little over her knees, a pet. "I could ask you the same."
Just as Octavia was about to reply, the Grounder, whose name was Lincoln, she'd learned, came running out of the woods. From the corner of her eyes, she saw Bellamy with Jasper and Raven hidden in the banks of the river, two of them wearing a disappointed expression. She watched as Octavia and Lincoln hugged, which provoked a faint smile.
Her interest was soon taken up by the sound of hoofs clattering on the ground and the soft neighing that came from behind the bushes. Not too long after, three horses live horses came out of the hedges. They were breath-taking, the way all things appeared to be the first time you saw them for real. The horses showed no signs of radiation, except for being really tall. The men on top of the horses, however, looked like warriors from a long time ago, carrying weapons and wearing skulls.
Panther's tail swept to her leg in a pace too fast for him. Though he might appear relaxed from the outside, she felt his restlessness. Trying not to be too obvious, she scanned the trees surrounding them, spotting two archers without any difficulty. She knew many more had to be hidden.
"Hey!" Finn called out, catching up with Lincoln and Octavia. "We said no weapons."
Not feeling the particular need to step forward as well, Katherine observed the situation from a little distance. It was obvious Lincoln was surprised by the presence of the weapons as well, leading her to believe he wasn't up that high in their ranks as she might have hoped.
Finn tried to take a step forward, but he was held back by Lincoln. His eyes fell on her frame. "She goes alone."
Now, she did feel the need to walk forward and so she did. They parted for her as she walked past and she tried to not look at their faces, only keeping her eyes focused on the woman who was getting off of her horse. Though she might appear to be collected, maybe even slightly unbothered, or at least, she hoped so, she was filled from bottom to top with fright. Yes, she'd read many peace treaties and she also knew how much of those had lead to another war. She was also hyper-alert to the fact that it would only take one arrow to send her to the next life, but she tried to push that away as well.
As she and the woman met up in the middle, the latter observing her like a piece of meat, Katherine refused to back down. Instead, she stared back at the woman, impressed with the way she was so small and fragile, but yet seemed to radiate off so much authority. Her eyes were blackened with charcoal, giving her face even more sharp angles. Her eyes shifted to Panther, who was standing next to Katherine, still as a statue except for his tail, which was making S-shaped movements.
"Draoidh," the woman said. Though Katherine didn't know what the word meant, it sounded familiar, like it was buried somewhere deep in the mess of her mind. "You're not their leader."
"Consider me an envoy, an emissary, a spokesperson whichever you prefer," Katherine replied. "My name's Katherine."
"I'm Anya," the woman said.
She didn't make the mistake of holding out her hand, knowing that would only result in a power balance in which Anya had the upper hand. Instead, she folded her hands behind her back, subtly exposing her torso to show that she wasn't afraid. If she was going to hit by an arrow, it better be straight into her heart.
"So, your leaders started a war they don't know how to finish," Anya stated, not doubting for a moment about her choice of words. "And they send you to clean it up."
"It's truly humbling work," she replied, smiling politely. She knew she was walking on thin ice, but she wasn't going to act like she was a pushover. "Get's you off your high horse."
Anya's eyes narrowed dangerously. "I was told this would be a peace treaty."
"So was I, yet I wasn't the one who brought weapons," she said, not missing a beat. For some reason, she felt oddly calm. Her heart wasn't beating like it could give up any minute and her cheeks were as cold as her hands. "However, you don't hear me narking about it. So, please, if you will, return the favour and forgive me my obvious nerve."
Anya's eyes narrowed even further. It could be considered a miracle if she was even able to see anything through it, though Katherine had no doubt the woman probably had multiple pairs of eyes. She knew this was the make- or break-it part of their conversation, which meant she would either fall down within ten seconds, probably bleeding abundantly, or they might be able to settle something.
"Let me sum up the war acts you've committed in our direction," Anya said, thus far not giving any subtle signal that would mean her death. "You burned a village to the ground with your missiles, you landed in our territory and you sent an armed party to capture and torture one of our own."
"At first, we didn't even know there were survivors. Obviously, we do now, which is why we need to make a treaty," Katherine said calmly. "As for the missiles, they were meant to be a sign for our families, not to hurt anybody. Especially not to hurt anybody."
"Lincoln says there's more of you coming down," Anya continued. Though her eyes had widened again, she still looked like she wanted to put a spear in between Katherine's eyes, though the latter guessed that must be her resting face. "Warriors."
"Yes, and doctors, chemists, farmers, engineers," Katherine answered. She knew they had to find some common ground soon, or else the whole conversation would turn into a fancy old massacre soon. "Both of us could thrive on the exchange of knowledge. That is, of course, when we're not at war."
"Can you promise that these new arrivals won't attack us, that they'll respect the terms you and I agree on?" Anya asked.
She knew she had to bluff, there was no question about that, the problem lied in the transfer of the lie. The last person the Chancellor, or anybody with the slightest amount of power, would listen to, would be her, a girl who'd murdered a model citizen, a doctor, but she had to try. "Yes, I can promise that."
Anya observed her for what probably was less than ten seconds, but felt like an eternity. "Too bad you're a liar, Draoidh."
Katherine, not even bothering to act subtly, looked at the treeline, seeing the way the two archers were signing to each other, both of them drawing their bows afterwards. "Don't praise yourself too much, Anya, you're little less but a liar yourself."
She turned around to Octavia, Lincoln, Finn and Clarke, shaking her head. "Find cover, arrows incoming!" she called out. Not a second later, the first arrow shot flew past her head at the speed of lightning, only missing her head by a few inches. Next thing she knew, the ringing of gunshots sounded through the air.
Anya pulled a knife, but before she even had the opportunity to plunge it in her heart, Panther had already jumped up and latched himself on her arm, causing her to drop the knife and run away to her horse.
"Kat, move it!" she heard Bellamy scream from underneath the bridge, snapping her out of her trance.
Quickly, she whisteled Panther to her side, running to find the coverage of the dense bushes, pulling Octavia with her. As soon as she felt a hand land on the small of her back, urgently spurring her on, she knew Bellamy and the rest had caught up as well. She didn't turn around to meet his eyes, instead more focused on putting one foot in front of the other, making sure she didn't stumble across the way.
They didn't stop one moment till they reached Camp, no-one had said a thing, but as soon as all of them were standing still, looking at each other, blaming each other, all came out like the calm had passed and the storm had arrived.
"I told you not to bring guns!" Finn exclaimed angrily, as if that was the only thing that had messed up the peace treaty.
"Be glad we did, or else you'd be deader than death." Bellamy snapped back.
All of a sudden, Finn turned to her, a wave of obvious anger and frustration engulfing him. "What were you on about?" he snapped. He took a step in her direction, almost as if he wanted to grab her and shake her, but he was held back by a loud growl from Panther and Bellamy's hand. "I thought we told you to leave your attitude at Camp!"
"It's called showing strength and confidence, Finn," Katherine snapped back sassily. She was tired and she wanted nothing more than to find herself in the comfort of her bed, alone, without all the nuisance surrounding her. "You asked me for a strategic back-up and that is what I gave to you! At least now they know we aren't as weak as they thought we were."
"I asked for a diplomatic spokesman!" Finn screamed back like nobody's business.
"Get your act together, you ass-hat! If you would have listened to me, you knew it was going to end like this," Katherine yelled. First, he forced her in the position of doing all the talking and now he had the audacity to tell her she did it wrong, all of which rubbed her the wrong way. " There's a reason I said those specific words, Finn, a reason I was being rude. If she'd wanted to negotiate, she would've made sure I was taken down a peg, but she wanted information about our people, which is why she let me speak the way I did. She wasn't planning on letting me live afterwards."
All of them looked at her dumbfounded, except for maybe Bellamy. She crossed her arms, letting out a loud huff. "That's what I thought."
Octavia was the first to leave, after giving Jasper the nastiest glare Katherine had ever seen, followed by Finn, Clarke, Raven and Jasper, leaving her with Bellamy. She was still angry, but now that the mob was actually gone, she at least felt like she could breathe again. At least, that was till she realised she was forced to talk to Bellamy, which she hadn't done since they'd kissed a night ago. In a futile try to create some distance, she went to sit on one of the logs.
"Well, this sure is an Unity Day to remember," Bellamy muttered, taking a seat next to her. He tried to catch her attention, but she'd fixated her eyes on Panther's paws, refusing to look anywhere else. She knew what she'd done and she knew she'd made the right choice, but now all of a sudden everybody seemed to know better. "Eh, don't worry about it, they'll turn around."
"Yeah, maybe after they've given me to the Grounders as another peace offering," Katherine replied, kicking away a little stone.
"Well, at least I'll finally be relieved from those ever so sarcastic comments of yours," Bellamy said, trying to lighten up the mood. He gave her a little nudge, but other than a small smile he didn't get anything.
"No, you'll be the first person I'll haunt after I die," she replied cheekily. Looking up at the sky, she first thought she saw a shooting star. Only then did she realise it was too big and reflecting too much light to be a star, which made her come to the conclusion that it was the Exodusship.
"Your mom's early," Bellamy said, which did earn him a smile.
The happiness that erupted in her body was only short-lived, because soon it became clear that the ship was still gaining speed, when it should have started to slow down already. Biting on her cheek harshly, she felt like an invisible hand was squeezing her throat shut. "It's going too fast," she said, forcing the words over her lips. "There's no parachutes."
In absolute horror, she watched the ship crash into the mountains, followed by a big explosion that left her ears ringing and her heart crying.
✿
When she'd finally made her way to her tent, Octavia was already there. Since last week she had moved her stuff to her and Nate's tent, which Katherine didn't really mind, except for the fact that she really wanted to be alone tonight. Without saying anything to the younger girl, she took off her boots and her jacket, throwing both carelessly in the corner of the tent. Quickly, because she knew she wasn't going to be able to hold her tears in for much longer, she shot under the sheets, her back to Octavia.
Within seconds, her cheeks and the pillow underneath her were wet with tears. Bellamy she'd been able to dodge after reassuring him she was fine twice, but his sister had a better eye for detail.
Octavia let out a little sigh and after moving some blankets, she went to sit on Katherine's mattress, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Why are you crying, Kat?"
She turned around, so that she could at least look at Octavia, who still appeared to be a little annoyed by the earlier happenings of the day. She let out a shaky sigh, trying to erase the increasing flow of waterworks from her face. "The Exodusship just crashed in the middle of the mountains. Huge explosion."
Immediately, Octavia's face expression changed into a gentle one, full of pity, which was the last thing she wanted to receive. With her hands, she motioned that Katherine needed to move a little and after she did just that, Octavia went to lay next to her, with Panther in between them. Both of them stared at the roof of the tent, feeling like the world had just ended. "I'm so sorry."
Katherine only nodded, not trusting her voice enough to speak. Though her heart was mourning, she couldn't help but feel embarrassed. She'd seen and spoken to her mother only once in four years and all of a sudden, her mind seemed to be incapable of retrieving the happy memories from her childhood, leaving her with the bitter and uneasy feeling that she was rather mourning for what could have been, than what actually was.
She closed her eyes, hoping that that would serve as a remedy against her tears, and she folded her hands over her stomach, which felt restless and queasy. Panter had snuggled up in between her and Octavia, the only source of warmth in the nights, which were becoming colder and colder with each passing day. She couldn't help but try to distract herself with making a plan on how to survive winter, as well as the Grounders.
"I kissed Bellamy last night," she said all of a sudden, breaking the silence that had rested between them. She didn't know why she'd said it, but it had been heavy on her heart ever since it happened. Secretly, she hoped Octavia had already drifted off to sleep, but of course, the tidings were never in her favour.
"I hope you know what you're doing," Octavia replied after a while. She folded her hands over her stomach as well, not looking away from the roof of the tent. "Because Bellamy hooks up with a lot of girls."
Though Katherine had thought she couldn't feel any worse, it felt as if her stomach just plunged down to a whole new level. She knew Octavia was right, it was one of the first things she'd hated about him, the way had a new girl for every night, but especially the way he acted about it. She didn't want to become one of those girls, just another name on his list. In fact, the more she thought about it, the more she felt like whichever God was out there, really didn't like her, or else he wouldn't have made her fall for some jack-ass with the most intricate character she'd ever come across.
"I think I actually might like him," she said, not believing she'd been able to force out any of the words, let alone the whole sentence in that context. All this death and decay on Earth and there she was amidst all of it, falling for some arrogant guy with a superiority complex. "A little."
"Katherine," Octavia said softly. She turned on her side, her elbow digging in the pillow and her head resting on her hand. Her brown eyes, which looked a lot like Bellamy's but at the same time the complete opposite, found Katherine's blue ones, "You're an amazing girl and Bellamy doesn't even deserve half of you. I know I'm in no position to talk, but he's probably going to hurt you. It's what he's good at, even if he isn't even aware of it most of the time."
Katherine thought back on the times where Bellamy had hurt her, but except for the occasional nasty remark or meaningless bickering, she only came up with instances where he'd saved her life. She forced a sad smile on her face, which didn't take her a lot of effort. "Yeah, you must be right."
"Try to sleep, alright?" Octavia said, giving her a last comforting squeeze in her shoulder before moving to switch off the lamp, which had been their only source of dim light. "Tomorrow is going to be a long day."
"Oh, isn't it every day," Katherine muttered underneath her breath, before closing her eyes and giving herself to the darkness surrounding them.