Kabanata 20
No One
I swiped the nude lipstick on my lips before finally standing up. Katatapos ko lang mag-ayos para sa date namin ni Jarrell ngayon at napagpasyahan naming bumisita sa National Museum dahil baka raw may interes ako sa art. Ayos lang naman sa 'kin dahil sa buong buhay ko, hindi pa 'ko nakakapunta sa kahit anong museum. Ngayon pa lang kaya't mas nakakapanabik lalo na't kasama ko siya.
Kasabay nang pagkuha ko sa aking sling bag ay ang pagtunog ng phone ko. Kinuha ko iyon sa ibaabaw ng vainity table at sinagot ang tawag ni Jarrell. Alam kong siya 'yon dahil siya lang naman ang inaasahan ko.
''You done?'' he asked, starting the conversation.
Tumango ako kahit hindi naman niya nakikita. ''Yup! Are you sure ayaw mong pumasok sa village? Wala naman si Kuya Ismael and Daddy rito. Si Kuya Roman, nasa kwarto at nag-aaral. Walang magtatanong kung sino ka. Wala ring makakakita sa 'yo except for our neighbors.''
He sighed as if he's frustrated. ''I will meet them next time, Lucy,'' he answered. ''This is... not the plan, right? I thought we talked about this already?''
Bumagsak ang balikat ko, dismayado.
Tahimik ang background niya kaya't alam ko nang naghihintay na siya sa 'kin sa entrance ng village.
I frowned. I was expecting for him to finally agree but like the first time I asked him, he declined. Ayoko rin namang ipakilala pa siya dahil sa tingin ko'y maaga pa para roon ngunit umasa ako na baka gusto niyang makilala ang pamilya ko. Gano'n kasi madalas kung.. mangliligaw o 'di kaya ay kung gusto ka ng isang tao. They will pay respect to your parents no matter how fearful the situation is. Katulad noong sa kaibigan ko.
Liana told me that when she and Toran were caught by his father once when they had a date, Toran man up and introduced himself to Tito. He could have went home and bid his goodbyes to Liana but he instead talked to her father. Naging responsable, kung baga.
Kaya.. naisip ko lang na baka gano'n din ang scenario namin. Jarrell isn't courting me because he's now my boyfriend.. a more valid reason for him to have the guts to meet my family. Ang kaso lang, ayaw niya. Kaya imbis na ipilit ko pa, tumango na lang ako. Ang weird lang kasi wala namang makakakita sa kaniya, e. Siguro magtatanong si Manang pero hindi naman 'yon magsasabi kay Daddy. Hindi rin naman nag-uusisa ang tatay ko kaya walang problema.
Next time, then.
I sighed. ''Ah, oo. Napag-usapan na natin 'to. I just tried again kasi baka nagbago na ang isip mo.'' I bit my lips. ''Anyway, lalabas na 'ko. Wait for me, please.''
Pinatay ko na ang tawag at dire-diretsong lumabas. Naglakad na 'ko papunta sa gate ng village namin. It was a hassle but I was able to manage.
My green silk dress was an attention catcher. Ang mga nakakasalubong ko na nagj-jog ay bigla na lang napapatigil para tignan ako. Habang ang iba naman ay napapatitig sa 'kin habang confident akong naglalakad.
Napangisi ako.
Well.. I can't really blame them. I'm pretty. Dapat lang na mapansin ako, 'no.
When I finally reached the entrance of our village, I immediately scanned the place to find where Jarrell's car is parked. Kanina pa siya naririto kaya sigurado akong around the area lang siya.
After few seconds of waiting, mabilis na tumigil sa harap ng guard house ang isang puting montero sport. Bumukas ang bintana ng driver's seat at kaagad kong naaninag si Jarrell na hawak ang steering wheel sa kaliwa niyang kamay.
My excitement began to grow larger. Napangiti ako at naglakad na papunta sa kanya.
''Hi,'' he greeted. He went closer to kiss my chin. Mabilis lamang iyon pero ramdam na ramdam ko. Nag-init ang pisngi ko. ''I missed you.''
''I missed you, too..'' I answered back, pouting. Pinasadahan ko siya ng tingin at halos mag-shape na puso ang mata ko. He's wearing a lacoste dark blue polo shirt with a maong pants and stan smith shoes. 'Yung bisceps niya, ipit na ipit. What a fucking sight.
Ngumisi siya at lumayo na sa 'kin. ''Took you so long to prepare, huh?''
''Kaunti lang. You know, it's my first time to visit a museum. Not to mention that we're doing this for my supposed 'dream','' I laughed as I pulled the seat belt and wore it across my body.
''This will take a long time,'' he said, smirking. ''Going to a museum won't guarantee that you will automatically like it.''
''Ayos lang naman. Para rin mas matagal kitang makasama.'' Kinindatan ko siya. ''Marami kayang tao ro'n? I think we would enjoy it better kung wala masyadong tao. People's nonsensical noises are annoying. Lalo na't.. puro art related do'n, 'di ba?''
He nodded. ''It's Saturday so I guess.. there would be quite alot.'' He began maneuvering the car. Napairap ako sa sagot niya. ''But don't worry. People wouldn't stay there that long. If there's a problem, then it would be the line at the entrance of the museum. Kailangan nating pumila.''
''Okay lang. I can wait.''
''Really?'' Lumingon siya sa 'kin, mukhang hindi naniniwala.
''Of course! Maghihintay lang naman. I'm sure we won't take hours just to enter the area.''
Humalakhak siya. ''That's very unlikely of you. From what I remember, you are really, really short tempered.''
''I am not!'' depensa ko.
''You are. I noticed things before 'us' happened. Remember Nicka?'' he smirked.
Umawang ang labi ko. He noticed that?! ''Whatever, Jarrell. Just drive.'' Umirap ako at humalukipkip kahit sa totoo lang, kinikilig ako sa pang-aasar niya.
Nagsimula nang umandar ang sasakyan at halos pang-aasar ang natanggap ko sa kanya. I did not hate it, but rather enjoyed his teases. I have never imagined that we would be this way. Parang dati, pangarap ko lang 'to, e.
It only took us an hour to arrive to our destination. Medyo mainit at mataas ang hagdanan kaya nang makarating kami sa taas kung nasaan ang entrance, tagaktak ang pawis ko. Buti na lang at maikli ang pila kung hindi, baka nairapan ko na lahat nang makakasalubong ko.
''Here,'' Jarrell spoke. He must have noticed that I'm sweating kaya inabutan ako ng panyo. Kinuha niya rin ang bag ko at siya na ang nagbuhat no'n.
''Thanks. Saan tayo?'' Kinuha ko 'yon at damping pinunas sa noo ko.
Jarrell held my hand while we are standing in line. Saglit akong napatigil sa pagpunas dahil sa gulat. I did not expect this move from him because from what I know, he's not clingy!
I bit my lips, stopping myself from smiling. I do not want him to see na kinikilig ako but I guess I was too transparent. He eyed me while grinning.
''Kinikilig ka masyado,'' pang-aasar niya at mas hinigpitan ang hawak sa kamay ko. ''This is nothing compared to what we did.''
Mas lalong nag-init ang pisngi ko. Why does he have to mention that?! It wasn't embarrassing but.. for a first timer, hindi ako sanay!
''Shut up. Hindi ako kinikilig.'' Ngumuso ako. ''Konti lang.''
Pareho kaming natawa. Dumiretso na kami sa pagpasok. Kaunti lang ang tao hindi katulad sa inaasahan ko. Ayos na rin 'yon para mas ma-appreciate ko 'yung lugar. Kapag marami kasing tao, mas mahirap. Hindi mo mapapahalagahan ang mga bagay-bagay kasi ang ingay. This is better, I guess.
The fewer, the better.
Pinasadahan ko ng tingin ang museum. I was fascinated with the sight I see. The art paintings made me feel in awe and at ease na hindi ko napigilang hindi maglakad. I scanned the art hanging on the painted walls with my lips parted. Habang tinitignan ko, para bang gusto ko ring gumawa ng sarili kong art. Kaya siguro uso ang pagpunta sa mga ganitong lugar, kasi nakaka-satisfy pala sa pakiramdam.
''You liked it?'' Jarrell stood beside me.
I nodded, smiling. The ambiance brought me to a different place. The neoclassical structure was built carefully and thoroughly, which made it appealing in the eye. Light colors were also used to indicate its delicate and magical appearance. Sa bawat pader at sulok ay may mga paintings na nakasabit.
The smile on my face grew larger. The art euphoria is kicking in me. Ang saya palang pumunta rito? All along I thought that this kind of place is boring. Tuwing iniisip ko kasi, pakiramdam ko aantukin lang ako. Titignan lang naman ang mga litrato. Pagmamasdan. Kunwari, interesado para magmukhang matalino kahit hindi naman. Gano'n lang. But all of it was wrong.
When you look at art, it would give you the feeling of wanting to know every bit of the details. What's the reason of the artist to paint this? Was he in love? Was he devastated? Was he struggling? What materials did he use?
Things... that you would never find an answer. Because in art, you don't get to talk. You feel it.
''I did not expect that I would be entertained here..'' I trailed off. Pinapasadahan ko pa rin ng tingin ang mga nakasabit sa pader.
''I also did not thought that you would be entertained.'' He stepped closer as he slowly intertwined our fingers. ''You are loud and noisy. A social butterfly. Akala ko, hindi mo makakayanan dito kasi tahimik at kaunti lang ang tao. Ang sabi ko pa sa sarili ko, maaga tayong uuwi. Tuwing pinapanood mo kasi ako sa court, ang ingay-ingay mo, e. You are also with your friends.''
''Yeah. Hindi ko rin inakala,'' humalakhak ako. ''Shall we go to the next floor? I wanna see more.''
Ganoon ang nangyari. We wander around as if we are the only people here. Minsan ay napapatigil kami para tignan ang mga nasa painting. Madalas naman ay para yumakap ako sa kaniya. Not the perfect place but I can't help it, I guess. Wala namang tao, e. Hindi rin naman siya nagrereklamo at mukhang nage-enjoy pa siya sa mga yakap ko!
I was genuinely enjoying the art I see. I don't know if it is because it's my first time here or it is because I really like how its done. I will definitely come back here.
''Marco!'' someone shouted on the corner of the floor.
Napatigil kami sa paglalakad sa gitna ng hallway at hinanap kung saan banda galing ang sigaw na 'yon. A girl wearing a high-waisted maong short with a suit and black tube top beneath it was walking towards us. She looks mature and stylish with her outfit. May sunglasses siyang suot at itinaas niya 'yon papunta sa buhok niya nang magsimula siyang maglakad. She's smiling as she wave her hand. Is she waving at us? Perhaps, at Jarrell?
''Marco! You are here!'' she gladly greeted as she stood up infront of us. Walang pag-iisip na binitawan ni Jarrell ang kamay ko kaya't napatingin ako sa kaniya. Nag-taas ang kilay ko.
Hindi manlang niya ako tinapunan ng tingin. Diretso lang siyang nakatingin sa babaeng nasa harap naming dalawa. Anong nangyayari?
''Hey..'' he said, almost a whisper. Mukha siyang gulat at na-estatwa.
''It's been so long!'' she exclaimed. Lumapit siya at yinakap si Jarrell na ikinagulat ko.
What's more surprising is that Jarrell hugged her back! Right infront of me!
Okay. What's happening? Ano 'to? Fan meeting? Sana pala naghanda ako ng table at pentel pen para naman nakapagpa-autograph 'tong boyfriend ko.
''Hey.. I did not expect that I would bumped into you here,'' Jarrell broke the hug. The girl laughed as she softly tapped his arm. At ito namang boyfriend ko, napangiti!
Wow. Para akong nanonood ng telenovela, ah? Ano ako? Extra lang?!
Nagpatuloy sila sa pag-uusap at ako, malapit nang mag-usok ang tenga sa inis. Ilang minuto na silang nag-uusap at para akong tanga na nakatayo rito sa gilid, pinapagmamasdan silang dalawa. Hindi ko alam kung magkaibigan silang dalawa o kung ano pero wala akong pakialam. She's disturbing our date! Can't she see?
''I am actually with Daddy and Mom. Do you want to greet them? Nasa baba lang sila. I was busy taking photos kasi kaya iniwanan na 'ko,'' humalakhak siya.
Jarrell licked his lips, undecided.
Napansin iyon ng babaeng nasa harap niya kaya't isinabit nito ang braso niya sa braso ni Jarrell. Ngumuso pa siya na akala mong nag-iinarte. My brow arched in irritation.
I want to fucking leave.
''Oh. I'm sorry, Ely. I'm actually with someone,'' Jarrell answered halfheartedly. The girl infront of me shifted her gaze on me which prompted me to firmly stood up.
Wow! Akala ko hindi niya ako ipakikilala, e. Kanina pa 'ko naghihintay at ngayon niya lang naisip na nandito pa 'ko sa gilid? Napairap ako.
''Oh. Who is she?'' she asked with a smile. Palipat-lipat ang tingin niya sa aming dalawa.
I looked at Jarrell, waiting for his answer. Mukha siyang hesitant kaya ako na ang nagsalita para sa kaniya. Kung 'di niya ako kayang ipakilala, ipapakilala ko kung sino ako sa buhay niya.
''I am Lucy,'' I smiled. ''His girlfriend.''
I offered her my hand but I guess she was a bit shocked with what I said. Saglit na napaawang ang labi niya ngunit nakabawi rin kaagad at tinanggap ang kamay ko.
I am starting to get intimidated by her. She's strikingly pretty and she looks matured comparing to me. Hindi ko rin maitatanggi na mukha silang close ni Jarrell sa paraan ng pag-akto niya. I don't want to admit it but I'm getting jealous.
''You should go, Ely. I'm sure Tito's waiting for you,'' Jarrell butted in.
Napatingin ako kay Jarrell. Ely? That sounds familiar. I don't know where I heard it but I'm sure I once had an encounter with that name. Hindi ko lang maalala. Was it in a coffee shop? Sa mall? I can't remember.
Malanding tumawa iyong babae. ''Yeah. I think I should go. I'll tell Daddy to visit you and Tito Marco.''
His jaw clenched. ''I'm staying in my condo, Ely.''
''Oh..'' her mouth formed an 'o.' ''Okay, then. I will visit you once I have the time. See you around!''
Humalik siya sa pisngi ni Jarrell na mas lalong kinainit ng ulo ko. Nananadya ba 'to?
Nakapamewang kong hinintay na umalis iyong Ely bago ako humarap sa boyfriend ko. Who's that? She was extremely being touchy to Jarrell. Hindi niya ba narinig na ako ang girlfriend niya o nag tatanga-tangahan lang siya? This is starting to annoy me.
''Who's that?'' I asked, nakapamewang pa rin.
''No one. Let's go, Lucy.'' walang gana niyang sagot.
Nauna siyang naglakad kaya't hinablot ko ang braso niya. Napaharap siya sa akin nang nakakunot ang noo, mukhang galit.
''Ang sabi ko, sino 'yon? Imposibleng wala lang 'yon e' kung makahawak nga sa 'yo akala mo siya 'yung girlfriend, e.'' Umirap ako. ''I'm asking you again. Sino 'yon?''
''I told you already. Wala nga, 'di ba?'' iritado niyang sagot.
''Gusto kita pero hindi ako tanga, Jarrell Marco.'' May diin ang pagkakasabi ko. ''Wala lang 'yon? Wala lang siya, ganoon ba? Hindi mo siya kaibigan o kahit ano? Gano'n ba, ha?!''
''Lower your voice, Lucy,'' he warned me with full authority in his voice.
No. I can't do that. He's lying to me right now and I can't afford to tone down my voice! Ano ba ako? Bata? Na kaya niyang pagsinungalingan?
''E' sino nga kasi 'yon? Bakit hindi mo ba ako masagot?''
Napahilamos siya ng mukha bago tumingin sa 'kin. ''E' bakit din ba ang kulit-kulit mo? I told you she's no one. Hindi pa ba sapat na sagot 'yon?''
Wow. He's being an ass now.
''Hindi. Kaya sabihin mo sa 'kin kung sino 'yon. Naiintindihan mo ba?'' Humarap ako sa kanya nang nakahalukipkip. I am irrationally being annoyed as of the moment but I do not know how to calm myself anymore. Ang init ng ulo ko ay hindi ko na ma-kontrol at kulang na lang ay sapakin ko na siya sa mukha.
Just fucking answer me who she is!
''A family friend! Okay na? Does that answer your stupid questions?'' he fired at me.
Napaawang ang labi ko sa paraan nang pagsagot niya at sa kung anong tinawag niya sa 'kin. Stupid? Me? Am I stupid?!
''I just asked you to answer my question! Kung makasagot ka, akala mo buhay ang kapalit, ah?'' I shouted which shocked him. Nag-echo sa buong floor ng museum ang boses ko at paniguradong paaalisin ako kaya't uunahan ko na. ''Alam mo, bahala ka sa buhay mo. Go and be mad forever! I'm leaving!''
He was caught off guard with my annoyance na naghudyat sa akin na talikuran siya. No one told me that being in a relationship can be this stressful. Damn!