"You know what I hate about being pregnant?"
"The vomit?" Sirius smirked.
"The bloating?" Remus asked not looking up from the daily prophet.
"The swollen feet?" Charlie asked making breakfast. "Yeah, I still remember."
"All of the above?" Tonks laughed.
"Well, yes. I was gonna say that I can't drink coffee, but sure. Everyone okay?"
"Well, I lost that bet. Everyone pay Tonks ten sickles!" Charlie said and threw the money to Tonks.
"You betted? Are you fucking serious?" I asked Charlie who smirked at me. "If you say that sentence so help me Merlin."
"Aren't you the one fucking Sirius?" Tonks laughed and I glared at her. "You're right, Charlie. She is terrifying."
"That's not even the half of it, Tonks. One time, she-"
"Don't finish that sentence Remus John Lupin. I mean it. What happened in that room, stays in that room. The aurors still won't speak of it and I'd like to keep it that way." I sat down next to Sirius and Charlie handed me some breakfast. I handed the bacon to Remus who gladly took it.
"No bacon? That's a first."
"Grease makes her throw up. Same with eggs, hash browns, grits, etcetera. I'm surprised she hasn't puked from eating pancakes." Remus laughed and I shrugged.
"They remind me of a simpler time. As long as there's no pumpkin juice, I'll be okay."
"Didi, close your mouth. That's unladylike."
"Shut up, James."
"Still traumatized but the pumpkin juice, auntie?" Charlie smirked and sat down next to Tonks.
"Hush. Hogwarts isn't the school of witchcraft and wizardry, it's the school of pumpkin and all it's varieties. I've eaten enough pumpkin pudding, pie, juice, etcetera to last me sixteen lifetimes." I rolled my eyes and continued eating.
"That's an oddly specific number, sunshine." Sirius laughed and took the plate once I was done. "Want some more?"
"Nah. I'll probably make some more later." I shrugged and looked around. "It sure is quiet without the kids here."
"How long do we have to stay here again? I've always hated this place." Remus said looking around. "No offense, Pads."
"Don't care, Moony. And we're staying until their fifth year is up. After that, I see no reason for us to stay here more time than we need to. Are you sure we have to stay here?" Sirius asked looking at me.
"That was the plea deal with Dumbledore. He signed the paper if I agreed that we stay here and use this place for our new Headquarters since the last one guess who blew it up?" I mumbled and Tonks almost did a spit take.
"You blew up the old Headquarters!? How!?"
"It was either that, or the remaining deatheaters know our secrets. Well that, and there's also the fact that I was pissed at Dumbledore, used fiendfyre and tore apart the place." I shrugged and leaned back.
"I'm terrified to ask why." Charlie chuckled and Remus looked at the table with pursed lips. "Care to enlighten us, Remus?"
"There are some things that I wish I can unsee. A crying Jade tearing apart the place makes the top five. I still don't know how you were able to control the fire."
"Neither do I. But Flitwick was right. You do have to be really angry in order for the spell to work properly." I laughed.
"Well that explains so fucking much!" Sirius exclaimed and handed me some tea. "Ginger and lemon. I still remember that this helped your morning sickness with Adhara."
"You were pregnant before, Jade?" Tonks asked and I nodded sadly.
"I was. Lost her a few days after James and Lily died. Really dark times." I shrugged and drank my tea. "Pads, you put so much ginger in this, it tastes like a Weasley!"
"A WHAT!?"
"Hush, Charlie."
...
"Sunshine, there's a letter for you!"
"Give me a second!" I brushed my teeth and walked down the stairs. "Yes?"
"Puking again?" Sirius chuckled and kissed me. "Yep, your mouth taste like toothpaste."
"It's either toothpaste or vomit. Your pick." I smirked and read the letter. "REMUS! GET MY JACKET AND GET YOUR ASS IN HERE!"
"WHY!?"
"WE NEED TO GO NOW!" Sirius looked at me confused and I showed him the letter.
"My office.
Now. Bring your boys.
~Minnie"
"Well, she finally accepts that we call her Minnie. MOONY, MOVE IT OR LOSE IT!"
"You do know that I don't appreciate being yelled at, right?" Remus rolled his eyes and handed me my jacket.
"Minnie needs us, and is that my old jacket?" Sirius asked and I gave him a look.
"Not anymore. It's mine now. Moony, please grab the floo powder. It's faster and I can't apparate." Remus gave me a skeptical look and I groaned. "We're losing time! What could you possibly want!?"
"You sure you can use the floo? I'm not taking any chances with the pups." I sighed and hit him upside in the head. "Okay then, here you go."
"TONKS, CHARLIE! WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK! DON'T TEAR APART THE PLACE! AND TRY TO BURN WALBURGA'S PORTRAIT WHILE YOU'RE AT IT!" I yelled.
"CAN WE USE FIENDFYRE?" Tonks yelled and I heard things fall.
"ARE YOU MAD WOMAN? THAT'S AUNTIE JADE'S THING!"
...
"Have I ever told you guys how much I hate the floo?"
"About a thousand times." Minnie said and hugged me. "I see your pregnant again. Congratulations!"
"It's twins, Minnie." Sirius smirked and Minnie paled. "That's right. You better hope these two don't turn out like James and Jade, or Fred and George."
"If they turn out like Jade, I can sleep easy. She was the calm twin."
"Yeah, 'calm'. Now what's going on, Minnie?" Remus chuckled and sat down.
"Harry hasn't written to you? Or any of them?" Minnie asked and we shook our heads.
"We told them not to write if it's not urgent. Why?" I asked and she handed me some tea. "Thanks."
"So you three have no idea who's DADA Professor?"
"None." Sirius shrugged and looked at me. "Your wheels are turning. What are you thinking?"
"First year, it was Quirell and he had Voldemort on the back of his head like an idiot. Second, Lockhart and ew. Third, it was Moony and it was a good year until the end. Fourth, Moody but we all know how that turned out. What demon could possibly have the position this year? And since when have any of us had a good DADA Professor? I'm still passed at our third year." I shrugged. "We know the Ministry is keeping close tabs on the school because of Dumbledore. That means that- OH NO! TELL ME IT'S NOT TRUE MINNIE!"
Minnie nodded and I felt my blood boil.
"Who!?" The boys asked.
"Dolores Umbridge. The only person that Fudge will approve of teaching DADA. That's why the kid's books were full of stupid shit!" I said piecing the puzzle together. And right as I finished that sentence, Harry entered the office. "What are you doing here?"
"What are you doing here?" He asked us.
"I asked you first."
"I asked you second." Harry said and gave me a look. Sirius chuckled and I hit him upside in the head.
"Not getting detention, that's what. Now you." I crossed my arms and stood up. "What did you do?"
"Nothing! I was minding my own-"
"Bullshit."
"I WAS!"
"You're a Potter and James' son for Merlin's sake. We never mind our own business. I'll ask nicely one last time. What were you doing?" I glared and Harry fidgeted a bit.
"I'd answer, Harry. Believe it or not, she's actually playing nice today." Remus said and Sirius nodded in agreement.
"It was Umbridge! She's relentless!" Harry hid his arm but I took it making him wince. "Jade, please."
"Who did this?"
"Jade-"
"Harry, I'm three months pregnant with twins. Don't test my patience right now. Who did this to you?" I gave him a look and he sighed looking down.
"Umbridge." He mumbled and I felt my blood boil.
"Give me three minutes. That's all I need." I opened the door but Minnie slammed it close. "Minnie, I love you and all, but open the damn door."
"No. Now I suggest you sit down before you do something you regret." Minnie said giving Sirius a look. He looked around and sighed.
"Always the husband, never the mistress. Come here, Jade." Sirius pulled me towards him and forced me to sit down. "Stay."
"I'm not a damn dog, Sirius Black. Don't test me." I said and turned to Harry. "What did you do?"
"I didn't-"
"You finish that damn sentence and I'll make Dolores Umbridge seem like child's play, Harry James Potter. One last time. What did you do?"
"I may or may not have said that Voldemort was back." He mumbled and I stood up in shock.
"Here we go." Sirius mumbled.
"Cover your ears, Minnie." Remus said leaning back.
"YOU DID WHAT!? Are you insane? Wait, don't answer that. Merlin's bloody balls Harry, you have way too much of James in you. YOU DON'T SAY THINGS LIKE THAT IN FRONT OF MINISTRY OFFICIALS! THIS IS WHY YOU'RE NOT A SLYTHERIN!" I yelled and started to pace. "How did you get that writing in your arm?"
"By doing lines." Harry said. Sirius gestured for him to sit down and he obeyed.
"With a knife?" Sirius asked looking at his hand.
"A quill."
I looked at Minnie who was already looking at me wide-eyed.
"I've only read about that quill once in my entire life. It's fused with Dark Magic, Harry. And a very powerful one at that. It's not even healing properly." I said still pacing and started to scratch my left arm. "How long?"
"Every night for a week."
"Well you better stop this shit, Harry. I'm not asking you to roll over and show your belly like a dog. I'm telling you to watch the events unfold and plan. I really can't blame you for this, your father would've done the same. Him and his stupid ass." I rolled my eyes and Harry smiled slightly.
"No I wouldn't!"
"Yes, you would."
"Yes I would."
"And you wouldn't?" Remus smirked.
"No. That's the main difference between the snakes and lions. You people act on pure instincts, we don't. When our backs are pushed against the wall, we wait for the perfect opportunity to bite. That's what I'm asking from you, Harry. Think you can manage biting your tongue for a little while?" He nodded and I sighed in relief. "That means no sarcastic remarks and no nothing. Not a peep out of you in that class unless asked a question. Understood?"
"Yes ma'am." Harry mumbled.
"Good. Now, I'll start my own revenge elsewhere."
"Revenge on?"
"Dolores fucking Umbridge. Who else?"
"James, I'm scared."
"I'm not. KICK HER ASS, DIDI!"