Bold CAPITAL - Who is singing
Bold Normal - Present camper singing, talking in song
Bold Italics - Singing
I recommend listening to the song while reading.
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When everyone settled down, Percy announced, "Right. There isn't anything to warn you about in the first song. Luke and Silena's actors sing in it and its name is Prologue/The Day I Got Expelled. I'm only going to remind you that it isn't entirely accurate. On that note, I give you, The Lightning Thief Musical!"
Everyone fell silent as the song started.
LUKE - The Gods are real. Like the Greek Gods.
ANNABETH - Like the ones you learned about but weren't paying attention to.
LUKE AND ANNABETH - Well they don't pay attention to you, either.
"I can almost imagine the real Annabeth is singing this," Thalia whispered to Percy.
"I know, right?" Grover supplied.
"Why do you think I gave her the role? Now shut up. It's been a while since I've heard this and I want to sing along to my lines."
"Yes! I get to hear you sing live!" Piper whisper-shouted. This got the attention of the other campers. Will paused the song while an Apollo kid asked, "You're going to sing it?"
"Not all of my parts. I'll join some."
The campers cheered. When they quieted down, Will continued the song.
ALL - Especially if you're their kid.
GROVER - The gods have godly things to do.
GROVER AND SILENA - Godly places they need to see.
CLARISSE - Godly plans they need to make. That don't include me.
"That was me?!" Clarisse yelled.
"Yes," Percy admitted.
The Ares campers looked at him dumbfounded.
"In my defense, that was the best one to play Clarisse's role."
"I will beat you if I don't have a good role," Clarisse warned.
Percy didn't reply. He imagined the surprised look on her face when she realized she had a song.
ALL - Yeah, the Gods are real, and they have kids. And those kids have issues. Issues.
BOYS - Daddy doesn't love me and mommy is a god.
GIRLS - Mommy can't protect me and daddy is a god.
ALL - Mommy is too busy and daddy is too busy. Busy, busy, busy, busy being a god. Yeah.
You never listen to me, you never listen. You never listen to me, you never listen, oh.
You never listen but now you're gonna listen.
'Cause it's time you heard our side of the story. It's time you heard our story!
Everyone found themselves nodding along to the lyrics. Percy straightened his posture, preparing to stand up and sing with his part.
PERCY AND Percy - Look!
Percy stood up as he said that with his recording self, getting all the campers' attention again. This time though, he was confident as he was doing something he had done in front of large audiences before.
PERCY AND Percy - I didn't wanna be a half-blood. I didn't ask to be a hero seeking praise.
Being a half-blood, it's scary. It mostly gets you killed in very nasty ways.
I didn't want to cause trouble, trouble. I'm less a player and more the played.
And honestly, I'd totally be fine If I could make it to the next grade, next grade.
It wasn't dirty socks or my stepdad. It was danger that I smelled.
The day it all went down. The day I got expelled.
Everyone was speechless at the sound of his voice. It was so beautiful you'd think he was a son of Apollo if it wasn't for his looks and powers. They were going to start cheering but the recording continued and so did Percy.
PERCY AND Percy - Maybe you don't know what a half-blood is because your life is normal and happy and not constantly in danger, but my life?
Humph, Let me set the scene.
As he said this, Percy walked around the campfire, addressing the campers, acting it as if he was on stage.
PERCY AND Percy - We were on this freaky field trip (freaky trip).
That's when this story should probably start (oo-oo-ooh)
ALL - We were geeking out on ancient Greek at the New York Metropolitan Museum of Art.
"That's a mouthful." Someone in the back whispered.
PERCY AND Percy - We stopped by all the statues (statues). And learned about the gods (gods). With Mr. Brunner and my substitute, Mrs. Dodds.
Hadn't done nothing wrong, wasn't rude, hadn't rebelled.
ALL - On the day it all went down,
PERCY AND Percy - The day I got expelled.
Percy sat down, indicating that he was finished for the time being.
MR. BRUNNER - The Greek gods! Almighty titans of earth, sea, and sky. But even they were children once and they didn't have it easy. Their father, Kronos, feared the day his children would inherit the earth. So what did he do? Anyone? Anyone?
MRS. DODDS - He ate them!
MR. BRUNNER - Ah... Thank you, Mrs. Dodds. But! One child, Zeus, escaped and devised a plan to rescue his brothers and sisters. He tricked Kronos into eating a rock. And what did Kronos do? Anyone? Any student?
MRS. DODDS - He vomited them up!
Chiron blushed and the campers erupted into laughter at the way Mrs. Dodds' actor said that. He wished they hadn't included that part. The recording continued.
PERCY - I didn't really get the story. At least it wasn't boring as I'd feared. But is it me, or is Greek mythology not deeply weird?
"It's not that weird when the gods are your parents," Frank said.
PERCY - I didn't want to pay attention (pay attention, pay attention!). Now I wish I had taken notes. But my focus is in question, and gods and indigestion caused a groan from our throats.
ALL - Ew!
GROVER - Baa-aa-aa-aah!
The camper started laughing again. This was proving much more fun than a normal campfire night.
PERCY - Dude, what was that?
GROVER - Uh, nothing!
PERCY - My best friend was acting strange. At which he so excelled.
"Hey!" Grover protested.
"Sorry, G-man. But you were acting a bit strange before I found out you were a satyr." Percy apologized.
Grover nodded his head in acceptance.
ALL - The day it all went down,
PERCY - The day I got expelled. Why do you have peanut butter in your hair?
GROVER - Ask Nancy Bobofit. She's a monster! Well not literally. I don't think.
PERCY - She threw a peanut butter sandwich at you?
GROVER - She threw a peanut butter sandwich at you. I stopped it. With my head.
"How I miss the days where the only problems we had were peanut butter sandwiches." The real Grover sighed.
"Me too." Percy agreed.
"Wait, so this truly happened?" Annabeth asked.
"Um, yeah?" He sounded uncertain.
Lightning crackled around Thalia's hands as she growled.
"Hey hey, sis, calm down, this is in the past. It doesn't happen anymore."
The lightning fizzled out but Thalia vowed that if she ever met Nancy Bobofit, she would give her what she deserved. Annabeth vowed the same unknowingly.
PERCY - Grover, you are a good friend.
GROVER - Aw... Dude, I'm your only friend.
MRS. DODDS - Percy Jackson!
The campers were not expecting the shout. They jumped in their seat a little.
PERCY - I knew something was up, when I heard my name get yelled.
ALL - The day it all went down-
PERCY - I saw something odd in Mrs. Dodds' frown.
ALL - The day it all got weird.
PERCY - The day I got expelled!
MRS. DODDS - Mr. Jackson.
PERCY - Oh-oh-oh-oh!
MRS. DODDS - Mr. Jackson.
PERCY - Oh-oh-oh-oh!
MRS. DODDS - Mr. Jackson! Please see me by the sphinx.
"I don't like where this is going," commented Piper.
"You shouldn't. It's about my first monster," Percy replied.
"Which was?"
"A Fury," Percy admitted.
Piper stood up and did a time-out gesture. "Okay, pause it."
Will did so. Piper continued. "Your first monster was a Fury? How messed up is your life?"
"Very." Percy sighed.
"That's even worse than evil flying espresso drinks." Leo put in. Some laughter was heard.
"It's venti. Storm spirits." Jason corrected.
"Can we go back to listening to the recording?" Percy pleaded.
Piper huffed. "Fine. But I want full details after we finish it."
"Sure." Percy compromised. After a nod from Percy, Will continued the recording.
PERCY - Look, if this is about Nancy Bobofit, she only hates me because I tried to get her to stop wedgie-ing the first graders-
MRS. DODDS - I have heard much about you Percy Jackson.
PERCY - Really? That's very dedicated for a substitute.
MRS. DODDS - Kicked out of five schools in six years, one might question your parentage.
PERCY - Hey don't talk about my mom-
MRS. DODDS - And your father? That's right... you don't know who he is! [begins laughing]
PERCY - What's this about anyway? Uh, Mrs. Dodds? You have something growing on your-
[Mrs. Dodds' laughter becomes maniacal. Percy screams]
MR. BRUNNER - What ho, Percy!
PERCY - Mr. Brunner! What am I supposed to do with a pen-sword! Woah!
[Mrs. Dodds screams as she is being disintegrated]
PERCY - Mr. Brunner? Mrs... Dodds? Um...
I didn't know what just had happened. Was that all a creepy, crazy dream?
My teacher was a creature then she vanished in the ether with a demon scream.
Then next thing that I knew, I was where detention was held.
The day it all got real, the day I got - Expelled!?
"I don't really like this next part," Percy whispered to Annabeth.
"Why?"
"You'll see."
MR. BRUNNER - I tried, Percy, but the headmaster stands firm in his decision. You were supposed to stay with the group. And this was your final warning.
PERCY - But it wasn't my fault, it was Mrs. Dodds! She lured me away, she attacked me, and... you saw it!
MR. BRUNNER - Did I?
PERCY - And you gave me that pen! Only it wasn't a pen, it was a sword, and... What?
Percy looked down avoiding the glances cast his way as the recording continued. This musical was kind of personal to him and here was the whole camp listening to his life story, even if it was a little altered.
GROVER - Percy, we've never had a teacher named Mrs. Dodds.
Mr. BRUNNER - Perhaps it's for the best. This wasn't the place for you. It was only a matter of time before-
PERCY - I got kicked out?
MR. BRUNNER - That's not what I was going to-
PERCY - You think I'm trouble just like everybody else.
Mr. BRUNNER - No, but... That is to say... I can only accept the best from you Percy. Someday you'll understand why. I'm truly sorry.
Chiron looked ashamed but Percy assured him that he did understand why and that he's over it.
PERCY - Yeah well, I'm sorry I let you down.
"You have never let me down, Percy." He whispered to the demigod that was now standing next to him.
Percy smiled up at him.
GROVER - Maybe he's right. You never fit in at this school anyway. You're not exactly-
PERCY - Normal?
GROVER - Exactly! [laughs]
I mean, uh... I'll see ya on the bus.
Percy once again assured Grover that this was only for the musical and that he didn't feel this way, via the empathy link.
Percy was tempted to start singing again but then remembered what the next two songs were and controlled his urge.
PERCY - So if you think you are a half-blood, better get headed to the exits now.
'Cause folks will think you're lying, better run and don't start crying 'cause you're monster chow.
Or stick around and maybe you'll learn from me. This ain't Odysseus' Odyssey.
So hear me out, if you're so compelled.
But, nobody listens to me, they never listen. Nobody listens to me, they never listen, oh.
ENSEMBLE - Dude! You got expelled!
PERCY - I didn't wanna be a half-blood. (expelled!) I didn't ask to be a half-blood.
ALL - Expelled!
The campers cheered and clapped at the end of the song. Percy bowed and gave them his signature troublemaker smirk.
"You promised to tell me the full story" reminded him Piper.
"I did, didn't I?"
And Percy quickly explained what had happened in his fight with Mrs Dodds, if you can call it a fight.