Gregory Gan has changed.
His hair is longer, wisps of ebony barely touching the back of his collar. He's lost weight---leanness replaced with skin on bone. The scowl affixed onto his face seems permanent now, and the cocky edge that had graced his step two years ago is completely gone.
In fact, it would be easy for Jeong-Soon to convince himself that this isn't Gregory Gan, if it weren't for his coal-black eyes. He sees fire in them---anger, sadness, life, so much emotion packed into his stare that Jeong-Soon can't deny his identity any longer. He sees butterflies and headphones and swollen pink lips. He sees the boy who'd asked him whether he'd ever been kissed.
Hi.
It's been a while, hasn't it?
You never gave me your number, so I couldn't text you.
Do you still have the headphones that lady gave us?
I missed you.
Why did you leave?
"Uh---babe, my leg's falling asleep," Mia whispers, and Jeong-Soon finds himself flushing as he hurriedly clambers off his girlfriend. Right. My girlfriend. I've moved on. He probably has, too.
He finds himself slipping his hand into Mia's, his thumb rubbing circles over her palm. The familiarity of the action calms him down---but his tongue is still heavy, lying like lead in his mouth as he desperately tries to find the right words to say.
His silence is rewarded with a dismissive once-over from Gregory. "You're taller," he remarks, and Jeong-Soon notes how much Gregory has to tilt his head up to look him in the eye now. The few inches of difference between them has grown to a little over a head.
Jeong-Soon pulls his hand out of his girlfriend's, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "Um, yeah, I guess so." Something floods him at having Gregory talk to him first---euphoria, perhaps. He mentally curses himself for the way his heart flutters, thumping staccato in his chest at hearing Gregory's voice again.
"Wow, fuck you," is Gregory's reply, and just like that, the gold rush evaporates, leaving behind nothing but stone. Jeong-Soon feels like all the wind's been knocked out of him, and his knees buckle. The fire's disappeared from Gregory's eyes, his gaze ice-cold. His posture is completely rigid, hands clenched into fists by his sides.
"Excuse me," Mia interjects. Her voice is soft and calm as usual, but there's a steely edge to her words. "I don't recall my boyfriend saying anything to offend you."
"Your boyfriend," Gregory repeats, drawing out the syllables like they're a curse. For a moment, fear fills Jeong-Soon's heart---fear that Gregory might pull out their past like a trick from a magician's hat. He's both relieved and upset when a sneer spreads over Gregory's face. "Get over yourself, princess. You don't know shit, so keep your mouth shut."
Mia's mouth falls open, and Jeong-Soon can tell his normally sweet girlfriend is about to explode. He quickly shifts his hand to her shoulder, cupping her body protectively. "I'm so sorry. He's from---"
"---basketball," Gregory finishes, then tops the sentence off with a scowl. For just a moment, hope flares somewhere deep in Jeong-Soon's soul, because Gregory actually remembers the only sport he'd told him he played.
"Yeah." Jeong-Soon's voice sounds shaky to his own ears. He forces out a lighthearted chuckle. "Our team, uh, kind of beat his team two years back and I don't think he's ever forgiven me for that."
Mia nods understandingly, curling into his side, and Jeong-Soon's unbelievably glad for the fact that they've only been dating for a year---if not, she'd have known that he's never been on the basketball team.
The door bursts open, and Marilyn stumbles in, Magnus and Aimee in tow. Marilyn looks more dishevelled than usual, two buttons undone on her blouse instead of one, causing her ample breasts to peek out. Her bright blonde hair rises above her head in a messy bun, and her black miniskirt is riding unnaturally high up her thigh.
"Look who I found at the boba shop!" Marilyn chirps, ushering Magnus and Aimee into the cramped music room. The two have guilty looks plastered across their faces, matching cups of bubble tea clasped in their hands. "I swear, these two were acting sweeter than my brown sugar pearls..." Her voice trails off when she notices Gregory, and Jeong-Soon doesn't miss the way her eyes light up. "Gregory! I'm so glad you could find your way around!"
"Hey," Aimee greets, only to recoil when Gregory fixes her with a scathing glare. Jeong-Soon finds himself tightening his grip on Mia---he doesn't want Gregory's uncanny rage directed towards her again.
Magnus tilts his head. "Hey, weren't you that Northtide guy who---"
To Jeong-Soon's shock, Gregory actually gnashes his teeth at the other boy. "Yeah, I'm the dumbass with the Instagram nudes thing. Take a picture, it'll last longer," he snarls.
Magnus raises his hands, looking worried. "Whoa, calm down, dude, I'm sorry---"
"Don't bother," Gregory snaps. He turns to Marilyn, pinning their teacher down with a fury-filled stare. "I don't know why I even bothered to come." The door flies open once more, and with a resounding slam, Gregory Gan is gone.
Again.
Aimee drags a hand through her choppy pink hair, setting her bubble tea down on the nearest table. "What is his problem?"
"I know, right?" Mia echoes. "He was so rude to Jeong-Soon too!"
Marilyn totters over to the front of the class. From where he's standing, Jeong-Soon can see her hands shaking as she fumbles with the zip of her handbag. She knows him. Why does she know him? "I---I guess he's just having a bad day," Marilyn says, almost to herself. "Take out your theory exercise books, guys. We'll work on three-part writing today." Her chest rises and falls, trembling heavily.
Jeong-Soon forces himself to breathe. His eyes flit towards the door, half-expecting Gregory to come storming back in. He knows it's a futile hope, though. Gregory's gone, and just like he'd done two years before, he hadn't left behind a single trace.
He shuts his eyes. He doesn't know why Gregory's acting like this, but he does know one thing---that the Gregory Gan he'd fallen in love with is dead.
٩( ᐛ )و
The lack of the heavy bass usually pounding through the cramped apartment is a clear indication that Si-Young's not home. Normally, Jeong-Soon can hear a muffled version of it from outside, and he'll be greeted with his older sister dancing her ass off in the kitchen once he's inside.
Today, all is silent as Jeong-Soon twists his key in the lock and lets himself in. Most days, Si-Young gets home from work before he gets back from school, but some days, she disappears to who-knows-where straight after finishing her shift. On those days, he's lucky if he even gets a note.
Sure enough, there's nothing on the kitchen table, confirming his suspicion that Si-Young has jetted off to have sex with her partner of the month. On Sex Days, as Jeong-Soon's come to call them, his older sister never leaves any indication of her whereabouts---as if he'll bother going to interrupt her and whoever she's screwing at that time.
Jeong-Soon drops his backpack down on the kitchen table, too hungry to put it in his room. He fills the kettle up with water fresh from the tap and plugs it in to boil before heading to the mostly-empty cupboard. He's never learned how to cook properly, despite Si-Young's efforts to teach him, which is why most of his Sex Day dinners consist of cup noodles or sandwiches.
He pulls out a cup of Nissin ramen---spicy chilli chicken. Not his favourite, but it'll do. Jeong-Soon heads over to the kettle to check whether the water's boiling yet---but he stops, completely baffled.
Mainly because his backpack is glowing.
Jeong-Soon takes a minute to stare at it, ignoring his noodles as the cup slips out of his hand and crashes to the floor. He rubs his eyes, blinking rapidly as bright crimson light radiates off his backpack.
Am I hallucinating?
He reaches for the bag, then hesitates, fingers mere inches away from the zipper. What if it's radioactive? What if someone put something in it? What if it's a bomb? He puts out his hand again. Stops. Thinks through the possible possibilities that could possibly happen. It doesn't stop his curiousity from peeking through.
Third time's the charm.
Taking a deep breath, Jeong-Soon gingerly pinches the zipper between two fingers, yanking it down carefully. Like a switch's been flipped, the glow recedes, leaving his backpack plain and worn once more.
Confusion floods Jeong-Soon's mind as he studies his bag quizzically. Just as he's about to zip it shut again, a flash of scarlet at the bottom catches his eye. He takes a deep breath. He's already come this far. He must as well dive in all the way.
Jeong-Soon plunges his hand into the depths of his backpack, and when his fingers close around something hard and foreign, he fishes it out. Wrapped around his hand is a pair of flame-red headphones---headphones that look far too familiar for comfort. He's pretty sure he hadn't put them in his bag---they'd been in his desk, locked away ever since the music festival.
They start vibrating in his hands, buzzing so hard he can feel every atom in his body shuddering along with them.
The headphones are a magnetic field, and Jeong-Soon's fingers are helpless iron fillings. He finds himself slipping them over his ears, unable to control his own limbs properly. For a moment, white noise deafens him, ripping his ears out by the roots. The static feels like diamonds in his brain, cutting through every nerve ending with glittering edges.
Then there's silence, before the first notes of a song wheeze to life.
He recognises it---he'd have to be ancient not to. It's Charlie Puth and Selena Gomez's We Don't Talk Anymore, thumping through the headphones despite them not being connected to anything. The headphones suddenly feel hot on his ears---almost like a fire. Like the fire Gregory Gan had two years ago. Like the fire he'd so easily displayed in their music class.
Jeong-Soon finds himself sinking to the kitchen floor, headphones still burning his face. His entire body is a turmoil of knots and heartbreak, weeping tears of gold with every decrescendo of Charlie and Selena's complementing voices. His fingers twitch, marcato against his thighs as he desperately tries not to cry.
When the song ends, the headphones grow cool again. All is quiet, leaving Jeong-Soon stranded in the perfect silence of the stars once more.
We don't talk anymore.
They don't.
He hopes they never do again.
guess who has a Wattpad Insta account now? that's 'write', me! i'll be active on it on weekdays, and i'll be posting plenty of stuff, ranging from sneak peeks to character trivia to writing tips (and graphics too!) i'll also be the crackhead that i am on it, so you should like, totes go follow me! my user is 'nicoismysenpai' as well :D
i woke up at 7am to write this so y'alls better appreciate it 😤 (jkjk even if you don't like it i'll still love you)
there are two song titles hidden in this chapter! (yup, song titles) hint: they're both related to the same precious metal, but they're not by the same singer. let's see if y'alls can find them and name their singers ;P
staccato — detached
three-part writing — some grade 8 theory composition schist that i'm currently studying right now and REALLY hate
three-part writing (the actual definition) — the composition part of a trio sonata, which is made up of two melodic instruments accompanied by the basso continuo (harpsichord + a string instrument, usually cello)
decrescendo — getting softer
marcato — emphatic, accented
have you guys spotted the parallels between Jeong-Soon and Gregory's POVs? i tried very hard to kind of directly 'connect' them, ahahaha. they're all over Chapter 3, 4, and 5, and there will definitely be more of them in the upcoming chapters!
we're also about 500 words away from 10k words, which means that i have absolutely demolished the 8k checkpoint, lol. we're not even halfway through the book T_T
我爱你~
xoxo, Alex