𝘞𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨: 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘴 𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵
I don't remember much of what it was like being dead.
It felt like a long sleep more than anything. The only way I knew I'd been dead was the fact I remembered being shot and dying, and I remembered coming back. There wasn't really anything in between.
I remembered my rebirth, the way I'd fully transformed into the Phoenix and risen high above the lake. Despite not being in control of that, I'd been conscious of it — I saw the mountains and forests all around the ranch for miles, and I could even see the distant lights of Missoula, and hear the distant hum of the city traffic.
Then I floated back down into the water, as the fire burnt away all my scars.
Sat on my bed in the hut, I pressed my hand against my chest, where I'd been shot. There was nothing there, no hole, no blood, no scar, no nothing — almost as if it had never happened.
But it had.
Theo had been by my side, and I saw in his eyes how relieved he was to have me back. Then he left me again, alone in the hut.
I counted every second of the five minutes and 50 seconds that he was gone for — a total of 350 seconds without him.
He'd changed out of his damp clothes and brought a change of clothes for me as well. I stood as soon as he was inside the hut.
"Are you hungry or thirsty or anything?" Theo asked me, his eyes quickly flicking up and down my body to check I was okay.
"Surprisingly, I'm not hungry or thirsty," I realised, a slight smile finding my face, "Thanks for asking, though."
"Do you..." He shifted awkwardly, uncomfortably. "Do you want me to leave you? So that you can get changed, or I could just go—"
I pressed my lips desperately against his. "Don't you dare leave me again tonight."
His eyebrows shot up in surprise, but he dropped the spare clothes to the floor and wrapped his hands around my waist as he kissed me back.
"When I came out of the lake," I told him, breaking the kiss and looking deep into his hazel eyes, "I was so confused, so lost... And then I saw you, and I wasn't lost anymore. It's like you're the only one that's making sense."
He rested his forehead against mine, looking deep into my own eyes as he admitted, "I was so lost without you, I felt so empty, so hopeless... Nothing else mattered without you."
I was forced to swallow as he tucked my loose hair behind my ear, his fingers gently brushing my skin.
"I meant what I said, right before I died." I didn't let my gaze drop from him, no matter how much I wanted to. I'd realised my love for him in the last few hours of... that life, though I was certain it had been slowly building and growing more day by day for a long while.
Theo's eyes flicked quickly over my face. "You sure you weren't — I don't know, delusional, or something?"
"I'm sure." I nodded, pulling his hand to rest over my steadily beating heart. "I love you."
"I love you too," he responded immediately, "I've loved you for what feels like a very long time, and I'm not sure I'll ever stop loving you."
"I was too scared to admit it for a long while... but now I know I do," I told him, holding his face in my hands. My voice shook slightly, "I realised something, in my last few minutes..."
"What's that?" He asked gently.
"That you don't choose the time, the time chooses you."
"What do you mean?" He pressed gently, cautiously, as I linked my fingers with his and led him over to my bed.
"I mean..." I started explaining, pulling him onto the bed beside me. "I mean I want you, Theo. And I'm trying to tell you that for the time being, there won't be a perfect time, there won't be a right time."
He swallowed, closing his eyes. "I did some bad things whilst you were gone."
"It's okay, I don't need to know about them." I kissed his closed eyelids. "I forgive you; I'll always forgive you."
He opened his eyes and hovered over me, fingers softly stroking my cheeks. "You know, I reckon could end up drowning in your sea of forgiveness."
"I'm not asking you to drown with me," I told him, tracing his lips with my fingers, "I'm asking you to burn with me."
I pressed my lips firmly against his before he could utter another word. Instinctively, I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled his body close to mine. He moaned into my mouth, his warm breath sending hot rushes throughout my entire body.
His hands found the hem of my hoodie and pulled it off me, and I pulled off his t-shirt, pausing to run my hands over his chest and abs, tracing my fingers over his scars.
"Is this okay?" He muttered against my neck as he began pushing my leggings and underwear down.
"More than okay," I replied, unclipping my bra and revealing myself to him.
Theo kissed my lips passionately before he unbuckled his belt and dragged off his jeans and boxers.
And then we were both lying there naked, with nothing in between us; no secrets, no lies.
His kisses seemed to sear into my skin, leaving behind marks as his teeth grazed me. His hands trailed all over me, touching me and lovingly wordlessly.
"Theo..." I grasped hold of his hair as his lips neared my heated entrance, his hands sliding up my body to my breasts.
"Ember..." He breathed, his hot breath hitting my skin and making me shiver. He moved up my body and kissed me under my neck before gazing into my eyes. "You're so beautiful, everything about you is so, so beautiful."
He left a trail of kisses down my body once more, as he gently spread my legs apart and dipped his tongue into my heat — forcing me to gasp for air and cling onto his strong shoulders, my nails digging into his skin.
His hands circled my waist and held onto my butt, pulling me closer to him. In response, I grinded against his face, causing him to moan into my warm wetness — the sound reverberating through my body as my head tipped back onto the pillow in pure and utter ecstasy.
I quickly reached my high and ended up panting breathlessly because of it.
But the bliss wasn't over.
Theo's lips crashed against mine, forcing me to taste myself as our tongues intertwined. His palm rested momentarily on my lower abdomen before his fingers started circling my heat. He placed pressure on me in such a way that I couldn't help but whimper and bite his lip as we continued to kiss.
"Mhm, I like that noise," he growled quietly against my lips before trailing across my face to my earlobe, sucking and nibbling on it as two of his fingers gently pressed into the soaking wet pool of heat between my legs.
He then added to the bliss by using his thumb to make circles against me, applying pressure to the same pressure point that had made me cry out before.
"What... are you... doing... to me?" I moaned; I felt higher and more turned on than I'd ever been in my life.
"Loving you," he replied quietly, kissing the soft skin of my earlobe as his fingers pushed deeper into me. "Is this okay?"
Biting my lip, I nodded — words were impossible as his fingers started pulsing faster inside of me, causing me to quickly reach my second high.
"Theo..." I breathed, struggling to hold back a groan of satisfaction as he sucked his fingers clean of me.
"Yeah?" His eyes scanned over my face, trying to decipher me.
"I want..." I blushed and decided to rush the words out as quickly as possible, "I-want-to-reciprocate-how-you-made-me-feel."
His jaw dropped open and he stuttered out, "You want to... to touch me?"
I locked my eyes with his. "I won't lie to you Theo; I want to go all the way with you tonight."
"Me too," he murmured, stroking his hand against my head.
"And I want to touch you as well," I told him firmly.
He rolled us over so that I was on top, and it was my turn for my jaw to drop open as I saw Theo fully naked.
He hesitated. "Umm... as sexy as you are, Ember, I'm not fully — ya know — erect."
My eyes widened; holy shit, he's going to be huge.
"Do you..." Theo hesitated again. "You do know what you're doing, right?"
Putting on an air of confidence, I nodded — I'd only touched a guy like this once before. "Yup."
Gently holding Theo's firm length, I slowly began pumping it up and down — the low groans that exited his mouth and the fact I felt him harden more must've meant I was doing something right. So, I continued pumping up and down, revelling in watching Theo's reaction as he slowly became undone.
Almost mesmerised by the pearly teardrop of precum leaking from the tip, I felt the urge to take him in my mouth. And when I did, Theo growled out my name loudly.
I stopped before my lips could close around him and brought my head up, biting my lip, "Sorry... is that not okay?"
"No, no, it is okay." His eyes locked onto mine. "It's more than okay."
I took him in my mouth, sucking slowly up and down his hard length — increasing my pace when Theo sat up and took a hold of my head, pushing me faster and taking him deeper into my mouth. How I didn't end up gagging was literally a miracle.
I was nowhere near done when Theo flipped us over again, his mouth hovering over mine as he whispered, "That was so good, Ember. So good."
"Then why did you stop me?" I tilted my head to the side.
"Because if you continued, you'd have to get me hard all over again."
A flood of nerves suddenly rushed through me and I pulled his lips to mine, trembling all over.
"What's wrong?" Theo frowned, pulling away from me.
Squeezing my eyes shut and opening them again, I told him, "I want you..."
"Are you nervous?" He nuzzled against my neck, "We don't have to if you don't want to."
"I want to." I nodded. "I want to feel our love."
In response, he kissed my lips slowly, his tongue delving into my mouth and eliciting soft and involuntary moans from me.
"Let me show you how much you mean to me. Let me make love to you," he muttered against my lips, and my stomach dipped.
"Yes," I whispered back, "Let's make love."
"Are you sure?" He eyed me again like he wasn't expecting me to agree.
"I want this," I assured him, "I want you, loving me."
He kissed my lips quickly, running his hands through my loose hair before he reached into the pocket of his discarded jeans and pulled out a little square packet.
"Planning on this, were we?" I raised an eyebrow, an amused expression on my face.
"Well, it's better that I'm prepared than have to leave you here whilst I sprint naked back up to the ranch to find one, isn't it?" He countered, equally as amused.
The amusement dropped away as I watched him roll the condom onto his fully hard length.
"You ready?" He checked, positioning himself at my heated entrance.
"Yes." I locked my eyes on him, holding the side of his face in my hand. "We better not get interrupted this time."
"We won't — trust me." He chuckled. "It's like one in the morning."
"I love you." I smiled up at him.
"I love you too." He reciprocated, kissing my lips quickly before slowly pushing himself inside of me.
Clutching onto his forearms, I let out a moan as his hips began thrusting into me. My eyes snapped shut from the pure bliss of it; it was like I could feel him in every inch of my skin, in every cell — everywhere.
"Em..." Theo's voice sounded like pure heaven. "Ember, baby — open your eyes."
I opened my eyes; that was the first time Theo called me baby, and it felt so good, so right.
"I want you to look at me as I make love to you, Em," he told me, nuzzling against my neck.
My body felt like it was catching fire all over again — I was burning up from his touch as his hands seamlessly swept over my skin, caressing my breasts.
"Go faster, baby," I begged, needing to feel more of him, needing to feel all of him.
"I don't want to hurt you," he muttered, leaning down and planting a sweet kiss on my lips.
"You won't hurt me. I trust you," I told him, wrapping my legs around his waist so that I could feel him deeper inside of me.
A half-groan, half-growl escaped his mouth as he pushed harder and faster into me, "Fuck, Em... You feel so good."
I moaned back, words once again impossible as I dug my nails into his back and wordlessly pleaded with him to give me more.
And just like that I was both burning up and drowning in the ecstasy of it all. No words could even come close to the delirious and euphoria-filled sensation I was experiencing with Theo. He was touching me in places that caused a ball of sexual elation to knot itself in my lower abdomen.
No one else matters, nothing else matters except us, and this.
My mouth dropped open and I moaned lowly as Theo thrust into me more, pulsing against me as his lips found mine again.
I kissed him back eagerly, our tongues sliding together so easily; we fit together, we work together — we're meant for each other... Tugging on his hair, I pulled his lips closer to mine; I wanted to be so close to him, with nothing in between us, nothing holding us back from each other.
And there wasn't; this was it. We were one — we were together.
Theo grunted as his pace increased, thrusting harder and deeper than before — reaching intimate spots and places that I now knew were only meant for him and were going to be meant for him for the rest of my life.
I got so high it felt like I was flying, flying so high no one else mattered — it was just me and Theo; nothing and no one else could stop us now. He seemed to unravel the puzzle of my essence and my entire life force was shaken to its core — my mind, body and soul were shifting to an enlightened sense of elation.
"Shit, Em," Theo growled, and I could tell he was finishing.
I held onto that knot of sexual euphoria for as long as I could, and I let go just as Theo did — our euphoria intermingling.
Breathlessly, I pecked his lips, "I love you."
"I love you too," he murmured against my lips, pressing his forehead against mine.
After disposing of the condom, Theo joined me back in bed.
Well, I'm not sure whether it could class as a bed — it was a single bed-sized mattress on the floor of the cabin, with a few bedsheets flung over it, a blanket and a duvet. It was nowhere near big enough for me and Theo to lie side by side on our backs, but that wasn't an issue — it meant we could spoon.
"Hey," he whispered in my ear as he lay down beside me, chest against my back, breath hot against my skin.
"Hey," I hummed back, pulling his arms around my waist.
"Are you okay?" He checked, "You're not sore anything?"
I shook my head. "No, I'm good..."
"You tired now, babe?"
"Kinda." I yawned, before rolling over and facing him. "But I wanna stay awake a little bit longer." Tracing my hand over his jawline, I looked into his eyes. "Tell me what bad things you did whilst I was gone."
He groaned. "Do I have to?"
"If you wanna stay sleeping here next to me for the rest of the night, then yes." I didn't let his eyes slip away from mine; I needed to know what he did. I needed to know the truth. "And don't lie to me either."
"You said you forgive me, isn't that enough?" He raised an eyebrow.
"Tell me what happened, baby. And I'll still forgive you."
"Well, we went back to school... I saw Chris and I beat the shit outta him." Theo's gaze fell away from mine as he confessed, "I almost ended up killing him."
"Because you wanted revenge for what happened to me?" I frowned as he nodded. "But you knew I was coming back, though."
He shook his head slightly. "Not for certain."
Slowly, I nodded — understanding how ambiguous I must've been in my last few minutes. "I still forgive you; you were mad and upset, I can't blame you for that. I also wasn't here either, so that didn't help."
"I missed you so much." He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close, burying his head in the crook of my neck.
"I missed you too," I whispered back, though I didn't remember much of what it was like being without him, or being without life either, for that matter.
"You don't remember much of what it was like, being dead — do you?" He chuckled slightly, somehow reading my thoughts. "You may have missed me, but part of you doesn't believe that to be true."
I shrugged a bare shoulder. "I don't remember much of what being dead was like."
His hand caressed my shoulder, sliding down my arm to rest on my waist — both of us were still naked so his touch caused sensual shivers to shoot throughout my body.
Frowning, I pulled up my left wrist and inspected it, curious to see if my fire emblem was still there. It was, though now it was a red colour, like the colour of burnt skin, instead of black.
"Reckon you can still teleport?" Theo asked, breaking into my thoughts.
"Probably." I nodded, shrugging again. "There's really only one way to find out."
I pressed my fingers against the emblem and held Theo close to me.
"Wait, Ember, we're not—"
And then we were teleporting — burning through the air as we rushed to the destination I had locked in my head.
We arrived, and Theo finished, "—not wearing anything..."
"Oops." I realised, looking at both of us standing there naked.
"Where are we?" He asked, as I had to double over and spit out the obligatory lumps of charcoal — more than usual, probably because it'd been a while since I'd teleported.
"The storage room at Hellgate High." I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.
"Why here?"
"I couldn't think of anywhere else, and I'm not sure I'm quite ready to try teleporting across continents." I eyed him in the dark room. "Let's go back."
"Are you sure?" He asked, casting a glance at the pile of char that had exited my mouth. "Don't you need to wait a minute to recover?"
Shaking my head, I replied, "I only get it the first time I teleport, the return trip is easier to cope with, I guess."
Taking hold of Theo again, I pressed my emblem and we disappeared in a burst of flames — reappearing back at the ranch.
"Ember?" I heard Ryder's confused voice as soon as we landed.
I miscalculated; Theo and I were both standing in the ranch's kitchen instead of back at the hut — and we were stark naked.
Theo frowned and cast a glare at me. "Good job on the landing there."
I rolled my eyes, but he hid my body with his anyway.
"Go back to bed, Ryder," Theo told him, and Ryder walked off, as if in a daze. Theo muttered to me, "He's started sleepwalking recently."
"Ah." I nodded. "That makes sense."
I took Theo's hand and we walked back down to the hut.
"Sorry I screwed up with the return trip..."
"It's fine." He shrugged. "It was dark in the ranch and Ryder probably won't remember it."
"Thank God," I murmured.
"You should probably get some sleep now," Theo told me as we got back into the bed.
"What about you?" I yawed, "You should as well."
"I'm keeping watch," he replied but curled up beside me anyways.
"Night, Theo," I murmured, getting comfortable in bed.
"Night, Em," he whispered, "I love you."
"I love you too," I replied, feeling sleep finally take me under — the darkness was comforting with Theo by my side.
Everything feels better with Theo by my side.