2-24-21 | 3490 words
U guys should follow me because
I'm sexy 😇
-Wilbur-
Its nobodys fault but your own you're too fucking arrogant to raise your kids properly, this isn't my problem and I refuse to let it be his.
I arrived home just as the argument was simmering down from its climax. By then, Dave and Tommy were already gone. And the house was just a very sad looking Dad and I.
I don't know many details of the fight - but I do know it was violent. All I know is it was probably Tommy-centric as whenever on the rare occasions dad and Dave would fight my brother is usually too frightened to get anyone else involved.
Typically, bickering between Dave and Dad are the same. Dave gets angry at Dad for something rather, which is totally out of character for my usually ass kissing brother, and then Dad gives him the cold shoulder till the guilt all builds up and Dave breaks down and apologizes, in which my father comforts him gently. Its just a cycle of this, I don't know if Dave just hasn't noticed the repetitive-ness of this situation or just chooses to accept thats how things are. (Dave likes routine anyway.)
I take a sip from the milk carton, eyeing my distraught father. Hes sitting at the counter, staring off worriedly in the distance.
Hes a little startled by my voice "So,"
"So." He clears his throat.
My father got striked in the nose - I take this from the crimson blood which dripped - or rather gushed - down his upper lip. The blood had splattered the kitchen counter, it was a bitch to clean. It looked like a murder scene, a very, very mild murder scene.
I eye the still-stained counter a moment longer "What'd Dave say?"
"Hes right, Wilbur." His voice is microscopic.
My lips make an 'o' shape but I say nothing, I know little of what he means and think its better not to ask. I look around for something to continue a casual conversation with.
I hold up the carton a bit "Want some milk."
He chuckles breathily "No thank you."
"To each their own." I shrug.
Its dark in the house, the only thing allowing me to properly see is the natural light from the window fluttering inside. The glass casts light onto the speckled granite, the silhouette of my father is outlined in the otherwise pretty shadow of shine.
My father looks old, I notice. A distant fatigue clouding his unfocused gaze. I guess I can sort of see why, Dave is undoubtably my fathers favourite child. I mean, theres alot of things to like about the guy; Hes obedient and easy to work with. An impressionable teenager whoms beliefs are easily reshapen. What would a man like Phil not love about that?
He looks surprised when he notices I'm staring at him "Hey, Wil." His tone is lighthearted, yet my impression of my father has already crumbled to the point where no sort of love could be distinguished in his mew.
I open the fridge and place the carton in its respective spot "Hello." I watch him with curious eyes as he goes to fish something out of his pocket.
"Here," a twenty dollar bill help firmly inbetween his middle and pointer, like a magician handing off a card.
I raise my eyebrows slightly in confusion, but take the money anyway.
"Go to 7/11 or something, buy me something good." He sooes me away playfully with a flick of the wrist like I'm some sort of pesky child.
"Yes sir." I only just got home from school, but I'm sure a walk will do me good. I need to get out more anyway, plus the atmosphere at home isn't particularly friendly. And, who knows! Maybe I'll see Dave and Tommy, or, I don't know, somebody else thats cool.
There are a few more people I initially thought there would be out and about, I never considered people to be very busy on a Tuesday. Whos busy on a Tuesday? I used to be busy on Tuesdays, ha ha, BUSY ON SCHLATTS DICK! (I am very alone.)
I wonder what Schlatt doing right now.
Hopefully thinking of me.
I like to believe so.
I act so casual about this ordeal I'm beginning to even trick myself at this point. The thing is, I do care. Atlot. I've cried so fucking much that I'm just gone numb. I miss being held, but I suppose him not allowed to complain - I've learned of recent that if I ask one of my brothers to cuddle they would be morr than happy to. The more ya know, eh?
A bell above the door accounced my arrival, the clerk payed me no mind as I stepped past the doggish-smelling carpet infront of the checkout.
I hate how short the isles are, I stick out like a sore thumb while standing in them. I have. A distant fear that everybodys watching me because I'm so freakishly tall, I feel ridiculous in this shit hole.
My eyes scan the treats in the first isle I see, its an assortment of different gums. I realize quickly I know not what my father likes, like, at all. And, how the fuck do I spend 20 dollars at a 7/11? Should I spend all twenty?, or just pocket whatever remains? Who uses cash??
I HATE THIS MAN😎
Hi, what do you want exactly?
Umm..idk, just whatever you're
getting, u have good taste. LOL! 😂🍬
Ily bye ❤️ text me when ur on ur way
home. 🌝🧖🏻♂️🦵
No
I love u lol.
Ok
I'm indecisive, what I get? I never get anything from 7/11. I barely ever even go outside! I search around a few seconds before just grabbing a the first item of use I spot, which happens to be a few packs of skittles. I'm sure dad likes skittles, who doesn't like skittles.
I grab a few more items before finally checking out. The clerk gives me an odd look as I spend 19 dollars on things from a 7/11 but says absolutely nothing. He wears a pin that says TOBIAS on it, I want to tell him my little brother has that name but I don't get the chance.
Once I exit I'm just as unsure on what to do than I was when I got home. Do I go back? What if Dad walks to talk to me? Wants company? I pray Dave has already returned, or maybe dad hasn't moved at all. I don't know.
A soft: "Wil?"
I turn around to see who could be, I wish I didn't turn around. I think it could've been better if I simply ran away.
I avert my eyes and say nothing.
He takes a step forward "How are you?"
"Could be better." I mutter.
"Me too."
Silence. The bustling people around us pay us no mind.
"I missed you."
"Yeah?"
He laughs dryly. Yes, I assume.
I've thought about this situation multiple times - all the times ending in me saying something super badass 'n cool and really sticking it to Schlatt. However, right now all those past thoughts are completely lost on me.
"Wanna- uhm, you busy?" Am I busy? Am I busy? This must be a rhetorical, I'm never busy.
"No, never."
He looks away "Can we talk, then? Take a walk in the park or something?"
This question almost takes me off guard. Almost.
"Okay!" I don't mean to sound so enthusiastic about it. I'm not actually all that enthusiastic.
•••
Ducks float across the water. Schlatt and I watch them from behind the black metal railing - it soaks up the suns heat and is hot to touch, I lean against it anyway. We've found looking at the birds is far easier than looking at eachother.
I want to scream, yell, shout, pick up Schlatt and drown him in the pond. I want to punt the small children feeding the ducks bread near the waters stone edge, then shout at their dad some more. I want too, but I can't. Im tired.
I think I should, I think that is a very appropriate reaction to this. Schlatt has said little, so have I. The atmosphere is peaceful, whilst at the same time excruciating.
The silence is unbearable "Say what you need to so I can go, please."
I don't want to be an asshole or anything but Schlatt looks like absolute shit. His hair is dishevelled and unkempt, his eyes are glossy and have dark bags under them and his voice is groggy.
He glances at me, a little surprised.
"I'm- I'm sorry Wilbur." He inhales sharply "I really am, like, really fucking am. I- he tricked me Wilbur!"
"Cooper said it happened multiple times, Cooper said you weren't particularly nice when referring to me. I- I wouldn've been mad if you didn't say anything. You fucking hated me and still came over to my house, 'n we did all that stuff. That must've been something, surely? Surely?" Theres a desperate edge to my voice. I want- no, I need confirmation this wasn't just an elaborate scheme of pity for me played by Schlatt that manifested into something he wasn't comfortable with, something I let happen. I let it go too far. I fucking let it because thats just how I am, aren't I? I'm a lovesick fool.
"What."
I stare at him - the man I've devoted my entire life and soul to - a little surprised "What?"
"Cooper said what?"
"He said you were cheating on me, 'n he showed me a photo of you cheating on me and said, hey look your boyfriends cheating-" Schlatt blatantly puts a finger against my lips.
"What else," he removes said finger.
"He-" I choke on my words "What is your fucking problem?" I straighten from my leaning over position.
"You said it- I never called you any names! I- I just got drunk- 'n Alex tricked me 'n- hh-"
"Cooper said you were fucking around with him!" I don't mean to yell, but I do.
"Once!"
"Not once!"
"Who? Who said it wasn't once?"
"Cooper!"
He gives me a look like he's just made a point and I'm just a fucking overreactive stupid idiot, he seems to notice this and quickly correct himself.
"He said you gloated about it, how? Why? Why would you do that?"
"He- you're gonna believe Cooper and not me? I told you all about how I hated him, I haven't spoken to him in- in weeks, Atleast. Hes trying to ruin you, on purpose! It wouldn't make sense for me to be fucking around with Alex, I never liked Alex and you know that! - because I tell you everything!" He takes in a breath "-And thats why I'm telling you now. I fucked Alex at a party with mild understanding fof what I did at a party. I'm apologizing. I feel fucking disgusting for what I did."
...
Huh.
"You don't have to take me back but-" he runs a hand through the front of his hair, looking away nervously. He just shrugs instead of completing his sentence "I don't know."
I'm a bit at a loss right now. I guess hes sort of right, maybe. I don't know. I never know.
He eyes me hopefully a moment longer before his shoulders sag a bit, he releases a puff of air.
I stride forward and sling my arms around the other man. Hugging him tightly for a moment longer before releasing him fully.
" 'M gonna go, I was supposed to be home- like- an hour ago." I glance behind me a bit as I walk backwards away from Schlatt before completely breaking off into a run the opposite direction, not giving him much of a chance to reply.
That whole home thing was an excuse, I don't obviously need to be home. My dad doesn't know where I am half the time anyway. I just didn't know what to say.
I walk to the far edge of the park, Theres a boardwalk here.at the very edge of the wood it cuts off to stone stairs pressed against an also stone wall quite a few feet high. If you aren't paying attention, it would be easy to mistake an area without the stairs as somewhere that was. There was a lack of fence around the elivated park, which was mostly just a terrible architectural choice on the parks behalf.
Below theres a beach, waves lap hungrily off at the shore. Two figures are standing near the water, onces crouching at the bay whilst the other one just watch- o.
I hop down the stone, sandy stairs and trot my way over to the unsuspecting people. I'd run, but the sand pools around my feet as I sink deeper with eachstep - and falling would be embarrassing, to say the least.
"Hey! You! Hey whore!" I yell once I'm close enough not to make them wait too long while I embarrassingly stumble over. God I hate sand.
The pinkette spun around to face me, eyes lit with surprise. He eased a bit, before immediately becoming weary again.
"What the fuck."
Tommy straightened from the use of profanity, assumed it was directed at him "P-Pardon?" He didn't yet spot me, Tommy has alot of trouble seeing - it takes him a few moments "OH!"
Once the realization its just me, hes thrilled. He hurrys over and presents what he has in his hands. Its just a bunch of sea-glass, most of the green variety.
Dave lingers behind, shifting his weight a bit to face me better.
"How did.."
"I was just in the area." I shrug, holding up the 7/11 bags some more.
"Aaaa! Did you get meE anything??" Tommy claws at the bag, trying to peer inside.
I shrug "Yeah, yeah. Probably wanna wait till we're home though, eh?"
Tommy doesn't seem to understand, but doesn't argue. He hesitates before smiling up at me "Can I put my rocks in the bag?"
I nod, opening the bag a bit. Tommy happily dumps his sea-glass collection inside.
Tommy stares fondly down into the bag as we fall into silence. The little blonde takes note of this and tries to break the quiet "Next time we should take Tubbo here, Toby likes rocks."
I hum in approval, but Tommys looking at Dave. When our brother does nothing but stare distantly at him he suspects he didn't catch what he said.
"Next time we-"
"I heard you the first time." Dave snaps, Tommy shrinks back against me a bit more.
"O-oh sorry I- I didn't-"
"Ok." Dave cuts him off, exasperated.
The beach is completely empty aside from us. For seemingly good reason - absolutely nobody is coming to a beach in November.
Gulls screech in the background. Tommy hesitates before turning to me, he tugs gently at my pant leg "Can we go home now? I've gotten all the rocks I've wanted."
"Not yet," Dave looks at the child just a little bit more sympathetically.
"Awh." Tommys gaze drops, he knits his eyebrows "I didn't want to come here in the first place."
"Nor did I. But, you have all that new glass, right? I'm sure somebody will me impressed by that. I mean, I sure am." Tommy brightens a bit by Daves words.
" 'M gonna go get more!" Tommy bounces a bit before running back near the shore.
Dave immediately turns to me "What did he say?"
"Who?" I ask dumbly.
"Dad."
"Oh! Uhh, I dunno- o. He said you were right. Whatever that means." I scoff gently, he still looks nervous. He chews on his bottom lip before looking away again.
"Oh."
"What did you even do?" I raise an eyebrow.
"I- he just-" he choked a bit "He grabbed Tommy 'n I just- freaked out."
I furrow my eyebrows for a brief moment. Was Daves response appropriate?-- I mean, I wasn't there so who am I to say but..
"I know I shouldn've- punched him - several times - but I- surely you understand??-"
I don't, but I'll pretend I do. Dave just sighs at my lack of response, he fumbles with his hoodie strings.
"Why don't we go home? We can watch, like, wowgirls or something." Dave smiles from this offer.
•••
Dad greeted us tiredly when we walked inside, he didn't scream and shout like Dave insisted would happen, he just gave us a little wave, still in the same spot I left him.
We never got around to watching wowgirls because of Tommys persistence to hang out with us. So now we sit in Daves bed and watch Lady and the Tramp.
Tommy yawns, hes laying with his back against Daves torso "I don't like that dog, hes mean." Tommy frowns as the grey mutt runs across the screen.
"Hes hot."
Tommy just lets out a few of those little child grunts as he tries to flip over on his belly, clearly tired of this movie.
Tommy hits Technos chest angerily "I'M GOING TO BED." He snaps before laying down on Dave with a little 'omph.'
"Ow my tits." :(
Tommys hands ball into little fists as he curls up tighter onto a ball. David rests his chin on Tommys head, a hand on his side.
I yawn, too. They're contagious. Daves laptop rests on my belly, its heated uncomfortably. My head lolls to the side to stare out the window, a soft gentle rain patters against the glass. Its dark out, maybe just 10 or so. Far too late for my little brother - whoms bedtime is still only 7pm. We spoil him, truly.
The phone resting beneath my hand buzzes, it takes me several seconds to locate the source. (embarrassingly.)
Come downstairs
My lips make a little 'o' shape. I grip the laptop and shift it off my stomach and onto the blue sheets. I slide off the bed, my legs wobble a bit from the lack of use.
Daves nodding off a bit too, but musters enough strength to raise his head and speak in a small voice "Where're you goin'?"
"To piss." I wave a hand dismissively.
He just hums and rests his cheek on Tommys head once more, letting his eyes flutter shut. I'm obviously going to return, theres no way I'm going to give this shit up.
I exit the room. The halls are dark, everything is dark and cold and wet tonight, I'm still happy though. Its an almost nostalgic feeling, in a way. Drip drip drip.
I assume my fathers gone to bed from lack of light out of the entire house, I can barely see two feet ahead of me. But I know this shitty house like the back of my hand, although knowing me I'd probably still fall down the stairs.
I flick on the little light on the little entrance room beside the stairs before going to the frosted-glass door.
Hes standing there with the same usual frustrated impatience he always has. His foot taps at the stone quickly, briskly. His hair is slicked to his head from the dripping clouds, it hangs over his eyes slightly. He notices me when his face is bathed in the yellow light from behind me, he looks slightly surprised as he straightens up quickly. He wipes the hair out of his face quicklyl
He relaxed. Wearing a pleased grin, it replaced his hardened one from only a few seconds ago.
He presents a bouquet of red flowers. Petals dance though the air from the movement, they look very sad. From his slightly-surprised expression I can tell this wasn't supposed to happen. The flowers are sopping.
I smile anyway. He tried to mimic my reaction but it seemed nervous and awkward, hopeful.
Theres an out of place dandilion sticking out of the batch of beautiful - wrecked - but still beautiful ruby-coloured flora. It seems metaphoric, it a way. He notices me staring at it and quickly picks it out and tosses it aside.
I'm sure they were once in good condition before they were exposed to such harsh rain "Did you get from someone lawn or something?"
He looks away "N-no the gas station-"
"Ah," I chortle in amusment. I meet his gaze calmly "Yes, how foolish of me. The gas station."
His face is red. He looks really pretty. "TAke them!" His voice cracks. He shoves the wet flowers into my hands, a few of them land at my feet. He stares at them before hurrying away. I watch him leave for only a few heartbeats before shutting the door.
I inspect the followers now I get the proper chance to. They really are fucked, more mush than anything. Jesus Christ. I'm still happy- no, this isn't really the word for it, I'm elated.
I'm feeling fucking euphoric.