Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Okay. Okay. Okay. So my family is.... okay. Okay.
This is what went through my mind for approximately 20 minutes until I finally came to terms with the fact that my goddamn family is a part of the mafia. No, no my goddamn family are the LEADERS of one of the MOST POWERFUL MAIFA in the underworld. The next thing I did after calming down was reattach my knives to my ankle and checked the amo in my gun, putting it in the waistband of my sweatpants and unlike my brother I was more careful about people not being able to see it.
I thought again about letting Eren know about this stuff but decided against it. In less than a year he is going to be fully taking over the Turkish mafia and currently his training was very stressful and I didn't want to add to that stress with the newly found information about my family, besides I dealt with those fucking monsters for almost my whole life, I can totally deal with these guys.
But the one tiny thing in my mind was what exactly did they deal with, I was fine with drugs and weapons but I was desperately hoping that they weren't involved in human/ sex trafficking, because that is the one thing I couldn't bear. Even with the Turkish, me and Eren asked if they were involved in that shit and thankfully they weren't.
I was thinking when and how should I tell them that I know, when there was a knock on my door. I quickly checked if my gun and knives were secure and properly hidden once I was sure, I opened the door to find Alex on the other side. He gave me his usual warm smile which I would have returned if my mind wasn't to preoccupied, "what?" I asked in a more snappier tone than I had meant, which made Alex's expression drop but never the less he still had a small smile on his face. "You want to come down for lunch? We ordered McDonald's."
"Yeah sure. But don't you and Xavier have to go to work?" In all the time I had been here, they never took a day off, also the reason why I haven't been able to talk to them very much. "Well, we just thought that after what happened we should stay with you, in case you feel. You know... weirded out." I nodded while following him to the living room. "So are you feeling...?" Alex trailed off. "Weirded out?" I asked him as he sheepishly nodded avoiding eye contact. I knew that the attack was probably one of their enemies, but I didn't say anything yet. "No, I'm fine. I mean Luca is safe and I am pretty sure you are going to catch whoever it was who tried to hurt him." "Yeah oh-yeah we will."
All of the others were already sat at the table picking out the stuff they wanted from the bags. I was seated between Luca and Alex. "I remember that you prefer chicken over beef, so here you go a mcchicken and large fries." I thanked him and started eating. It was so delectable, I hadn't eaten McDonald's in so long, granted I did eat a burger from the night club from time to time but that could never compare to the this and anyways the food there wasn't even the focus at that place it was mainly the entertainment and a place where local gangs could have meetings.
I also didn't want to spend my money on expensive food, if I could get a good enough sandwich from the food cart on the street which helped me save money. The last I had eaten McDonald's was two years ago, the night of Eren's flight to turkey we both had stuffed ourselves with all kinds of junk food. Ah, memories. "Well judging by your expression, I am gonna say your enjoying it." Marco said looking at me from across the table with an amused expression while Alex and Dante were trying to stifle a laugh.
They must have taken my dreamy expression for my love for the food. I just shrugged in return "I haven't eaten McDonald's in like two years so I guess I am excited." "You haven't eaten this stuff in two years?" Marco asked, I could see how everyone else also had a confused face, oh shit. "Uh, well yeah. I mean mom was kind of a health freak with me. So she didn't you know let me eat out a lot." Phew.
"That's new, I remember that mom always used to be the one who would help us sneak in junk food late at night past dad." Dante spoke up.
"Oh, yeah she always just said that as long as she gets her fries and milkshake, we could do whatever we want." Added Luca, and the others chuckled at their memories, you could clearly see the fond looks on their faces but if you look close enough you could see the sadness swirling in their eyes, you could see how much they must be missing their mother, mother I wish I had someone who I could have called my mother.
It physically hurt to see my brothers like this, we may not all be buddy buddy right now but it still felt sad knowing that they didn't have their mother with them anymore. What felt worse though was the fact that the mother that they missed so much, the mother that they loved so dearly turned out to be a monster in the end.
It was now more than ever that I wanted to tell them the truth, I wanted to tell them what a monster that woman was, how she didn't deserve their love and respect. But I was quite, afraid that if I tell them they wont believe me, afraid that they would choose their dear beloved mother over their stranger sister. And also a part of me kind of wanted them to believe this beautiful lie. I couldn't have the luck of witnessing this mother that they talk of but that doesn't mean that I have to steal it from them.
My brothers were in a good place regarding their relationship and trust with their mother and I have no right to take that away from them. All the thoughts of my mother immediately made me lose my appetite. I stared at the half eaten burger in my hand that I practically wolfing downs seconds ago, right now if I take one more bite out of it I might just puke what I have eaten in the past two days. God, I hated how that women could still affect even after her death.
I simply put my food down and was getting ready to stand up when Alex asked me with a concerned look on his face, "are you going to finish that?" "No, I am full. Don't really have an appetite right now." I heard Luca scoff from beside but resisted the urge to roll my eyes. When I looked at Alex I could tell he was conflicted but decided to let it go, thinking I might still be shaken given the events of the evening.
I walked out of the room as fast as I could, I knew if I waited there a little longer I might just burst out into tears. But as soon as I was out the door I heard Luca's voice, "Oh dio, quando può smettere di comportarsi come una cagna viziata?"
(Oh god, when can she stop acting like such a spoiled bitch?)
I guess he either thought I had already left or they think that I don't know Italian. Either way it hurt to know that they think this about me. I mean I would have been okay with them thinking I was a bitch or some teenager with an attitude because that is what everybody thought but spoiled. That couldn't be farther than the truth. I was the one who had to sleep in a thin sheet in the coldest winter nights, I was the one who slept with an empty stomach on countless nights while they were here with their perfect family and perfect lives living in their perfect mansion.
"basta luca, non una parola in più." Growled Xavier.
(Enough Luca, not one more word.)
It was enough I ran up to my room and locked the door behind me. I was trying so hard to control the tears that threatened to spill out. I had promised myself that I wouldn't care. That no one in this world was worth me crying over. But I guess that all went down the drain real fast after meeting these five guys. I was feeling lonely again. I hated feeling this way when I was around people.
Feeling lonely when there is no one around is better than feeling lonely even when you are surrounded by people. The memories of that bitch were really hitting hard right now add to that Luca's comment and I was sent into a straight up spiral. I felt exhausted from trying to keep in the tears, I slid down the door onto my butt as my legs gave out.
I was gripping onto my hair so tightly to avoid me from actually breaking something that I must have broken a few strands, hot tears were streaming down my face I bit my hand to stop me from screaming out. I just couldn't get the fucking images of her and Jason out of my head. I was hitting the floor with my right hand while I bit my left, trying to ease the anger and pain but it just wasn't going away. It was becoming hard to breathe and I felt like the walls were closing in. Panic attack.
I haven't had one in soo long, the only one who could help me through wasn't even here right now. But I really needed his help right now, so I scrambled to get my phone and with shaky hands dialled Eren's number. I put it to my ear while trying to control my breathing as best as possible. After a few rings he finally picked up.
"Hey slayer. Sup?" Came his regular cheery voice from the other side of the phone.
"Eren...."
Eren's POV
I had just finished my training for the day, covered in sweat I really needed a shower. Dad's been almost brutal with training lately given I I'm going to be taking over soon, and as exhausting as this training is, it is all going to be worth it in the end. I know I know, I shouldn't actually be proud of the kind of work I would be doing, but honestly this is what I have known for most of my life.
My life before being taken in by my parents was not the best. The orphanage I used to live in was not all sunshine and rainbows. Most of the staff there was verbally abusive and in extreme cases they even hit the older kids sometimes. The older kids would always stick up for us and even take the heat for something we did but thankfully I was out of there before I got too old. The one good thing about sticking around in London for long was getting my best friend.
Both of us were like soulmate's (In a friendly sense). That girl means so much to me, we had both saved each other on countless occasions from the hell was used to call our home. When I had recently gotten the information about her parents being dead I couldn't have been more happy. I even remember that I ran down the stairs to my parents joint study to tell them that those bastards were dead all while yelling "THEY'RE DEAD! THEY'RE DEAD!" In the hallways.
I was so happy that she found a real family, even though I am still a little sceptical about her brothers I am still happy that she got away from those bastards. I don't know these guys yet but once we are all free maybe she would introduce me to all of them.
I had just reached my room when my phone rang. It was Kate. I picked it up.
"Hey Slayer." Calling her by that nickname. I started calling her that when she had slit a guy's throat who had tried to shoot me.
"Eren...." her voice came from the other line but it was way too quiet and shaky. What the hell was going on?
"Kate what's going on?" I was panicking slightly.
"Eren I feel so alone. Why couldn't she love me?! Why can't people love me! What is so repulsive about me?" My heart physically broke hearing her. And I almost had tears in my eyes, thinking of her in this state. I could hear how she was choking on her sobs, trying to remain quiet. I hated it, I fucking hated how she never let others help her through her pain. I hate how she would take a thousand bullets for someone and not make a peep, while she suffers silently.
"Hey, hey, you listen to me okay. Jasmine was a monster we don't want her love and I love you okay, and so do mom and dad. You have people who love you and care for you. And trust me there is nothing wrong with you. You are not repulsive, anyone who says is just jealous that they can't be like you."
"Then why do they not care about me, he said I was a spoiled bitch and that their mom loved them and, and she would care for them a- and give them food and-" she cut herself off as she again broke into hysterics. I knew immediately from the context that her brothers were talking about their mother. And honestly if you think about it, I would understand what was going through their heads.
I was damn sure Kate hadn't told them about the abuse and their minds she must be living like a princess with their mother but then again it in no way gives them the right to call her a spoiled bitch. That couldn't be farther from the truth. As bitchy and rude as she may seem, when it came to actual life she was one of the kindest people. I still remember how she used to buy a sandwich with all the money she could find and although it was in no way filling enough for her as it is she would still give me almost more than half of it. On the times the orphanage people didn't feed us, I may be living in a big ass mansion right now with butlers and maids at my service but I still would never forget what she has done for and that is why I love her with my entire heart and would happily take a bullet for her.
"Okay you gotta listen to me Katie, I know you feel like no one is here right now but you are wrong I am here, and I always will be, I just need you to do one thing for me okay. Can you please?"
"Okay" she replied after sniffling.
"I need you to put the phone on speaker, open Spotify and start your PA playlist okay." It was her panic attack playlist. I had dealt with a few in person when I was back in London and even though the normal methods while dealing with a panic attack did help, they never really got her out of that self loathing trance she used put herself into.
But there were a few songs that always used to snap her out of it, so I had made a playlist of those songs. They were mostly either piano solos or slow and peaceful songs. After a while I could hear the breathing on the other line get calmer and I knew she had recovered so I just whispered a goodbye and cut call. Letting her rest herself a little and made a mental note to call her again after about an hour and a half.
I sighed deeply, picked the towel and a change of clothes, put on Taylor swift and jumped into the shower.
Random pic of Eren and Kate back in London🥰🥰
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Hello people!! I know the ending wasn't to climactic for this chapter but I really want to get one out for you guys and besides it was going way over my usual word limit.
Oh! Also I decided to just add some random pics at the end of my chapters that are related to our characters.
Anyway my exams are online so I don't have to go back to school yet, so I might just have some more time to write in between. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and do tell me what you guys think!
Love you all💕💕✨✨
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