Days, weeks and even months have passed but the twin didn't bother to go out with you. Not even once.
Panic and worry stayed in your chest for days and it seems to live on your body whenever you thought about them every night and day, nothing can live in your head but them and their health.
If they're safe and sound, you'll somehow relax yourself a bit but not as much as relief if you see them with your own eyes, enjoying their life without you.
Without you...
You dropped the chop sticks that you're holding because of what your mind just said.
"(Y/N), are you okay? Is something wrong?" Your mother asked while your father look at you with confusion. Breathing heavily, now you really want to visit them after just sulking here on your house all day thinking about them.
Now's the time to know what state they're in right now even though you really don't know what kind of hospitality they have in their household.
You didn't even know if their parents are good but seeing and being with them as they grew, their parents might be really kind and gentle.
"Mother, can I please go outside and pay a visit at Tsukiguni's? I haven't seen them for a while and I'm worried..." Seeing you this desperate and pleading at them was making their heart break. They know how precious the twins for you since they saw the three of you form a bond despite of your status in life.
How dare they say no to you if this will going to make you happy?
"Of course, it's been days since you didn't go outside. But at least finish your meal so that you're full when you're going to visit them."
That was the first time you felt your mood rise with excitement and nervousness... just like the old days when your parents let you go play with them and you must admit,
This feeling really felt so good.
So you finished your meal faster than you always do, take a bath before going out to see your good friends and bid your goodbyes to your parents as you start to go to their house.
While you're on your way walking a little bit faster, you bump into someone making you lift your head, trying to look at the person you bumped into.
"Oh, I'm sorry I did not see you..." you stopped talking in mid-sentence when you saw who the person is.
"(Y/N)...?"
"..."
Your emotions starts to flood as soon as you saw him. Happiness, gloom, and worries starts t rise to the point where it overwhelm you. Placing your hand to your chest when you felt a little pinch as you take a breath before smiling at him.
"Yoriichi... I, I'm glad you're okay!" You opened your arms at him as wide as you can and run to him to feel him again with your warm hug that's just for him.
It feels like years has passed since you saw this man without contact, conversation and even saying hi... nothing. He just vanished weeks before his brother did the same. Yoriichi looked at you with his wide eyes, not knowing what to do now that you're in his arms hugging him tight.
This isn't on his plans for the day, but now that you're here, things will go well just by looking at you, looking healthy and nothing else changed...
... Just like he always wanted.
"Me too (Y/N)... I missed you." He just let himself drown in your perfume while he hugged you back. He definitely misses you and didn't stop thinking about you, knowing that this will hurt you too much but he didn't want that to happen.
It feels like this is just a dream where he doesn't want to wake up, he still don't believe that you two reunite in an unexpected day, time and situation.
Just like the old days, you spend your time with him in the crowded streets as you followed him, looking for a little gift for his big brother since Michikatsu gave him a flute yesterday. It's not like he's not allowed to go outside, there are times where his father doesn't allow him but this time he managed to plead at his mother that gave in immediately.
If he didn't plead to his mother, he might not see you wandering in this big street.
The two of you talked together with silly stories, asks some questions and just... talking in particular since you two didn't see each other too long.
And this is where it began... the competing, jealousy and anger.
The big brother's just looking at his brother intently as you smacked the dandelion flower in Yoriichi's haori , making you giggle at the situation he's in. It's been days and his father let you see the twin having a practice with their father's men, and it amazes you that Yoriichi's learning so fast but not as fast with Michikatsu...
He definitely hanging to his feeling on you and now that he's seeing you so happy with his little brother, it seems like these play thing with his brother is unnecessary, making a barrier between him and Yoriichi as it thickens everytime you two having a good time without him.
"Wow! How did you do that so fast?" You said to Yoriichi with astonishment. Their father's men just showed him a basic stance yet he abled to give him a four blow to his body and that bewildered Michikatsu.
"I think it's just an instinct..." He then dropped the wooden sword on the ground before he bowed to the man and sitting beside you as Michikatsu's full of thoughts, pressure and he can even feel his own heart beat.
Now that he saw what his brother's capable of, he needs to be better than him in any ways or else, his father might consider Yoriichi and he will be the one who's going to be sent in the temple.
Every day he trained hard to be better, but faith doesn't stick with him that well until he realize that he can't surpass his brother in a sword and... to you.
His kind heart replaced with so much hatred and jealousy now that his brother can get everything he wanted while he's being looked down at, making him more submitted to his negative emotions that made him more angrier to his brother.
The attention, the respect and having you by his side is something he can't accept although he did what he can, but in the eyes of the other he's a weak man, just like anyone.
Filled with so much hatred, he did the thing that he knew his brother can't and he can't surpass it until he do it to himself,
For being a demon.
He did all that he can to be far away from you and his brother, leaving like no one will find and wait for him but in reality, you love him. You really do.
But not as much as what you feel toward his brother, you only see him as a friend or beyond that--a big brother.
If you only knew what he was going through, he just wants you and Yoriichi to be proud at him for giving all his best, praising him and giving him much attention like you always do when you were younger.
Things like this will be easier if you only knew...
"N-no Michikatsu, I didn't know... I'm sorry I--"
"Stop lying (Y/N), just tell me you don't want to know! The hatred that I've always felt, jealousy and anger from him will be in my chest forever! You two made me feel like this, the person I thought will be always right by my side when I'm at my worst but no, you just left without me!"
He finally let his pain out, not because he's angry,
Because he's deeply hurt.
Nothing can save him now from everything. Not even your guilt and sympathy.
"That's not true brother. Every night and day, nothing seems to enter on our mind but you. Since the day you left, I really tried to find you but you left without a trace until... I heard you became a demon that we fully despise in this world and I can't help myself but to ask you why... just because of jealousy and loathe..."
Yoriichi stopped from talking when he heard you coughing, making you spit out your own blood from your mouth, feeling exhausted from fighting with another demons before Michikatsu shows up...
Or should I say...Kokushibo.
No matter what you do or say that can make his heart move, he will never give anything up just to have a normal life with you and his little brother because we all know that once we fully hate and dislike someone you loved before,
Things will never be the same...
----
OMFG finally I'm done. Please let me know what you think BECAUSE I felt like I rushed this story and I can't even think straight anymore but I'll try harder and get better at writing if you didn't... kind of like this. Omg I'm so freaking embarrassed rn.