Quick note: the case stuff makes zero sense in this chapter, my brain just could not make it make sense. Just pretend like it makes sense for my sanity.
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That morning you and Aaron had not spoken to each other the whole time. He drove you to your house and waited for you to get ready before you drove to the BAU together. The ride was silent and the tension waved in the air the whole time.
When you sat in the briefing, you went to sit next to him but decided not to. You were nervous around him now for some reason. The lingering three words, eight letters, that meant so much, hung in your head.
The briefing was filled with small looks and glances. Each time you would look at Aaron, he would look at you, but you would look away. And vice versa, he would look at you, and as soon as you would meet his glance, he would look away. No words between you two were spoken.
Both of you were completely unable to admit that he was going to say I love you and you were going to say it back.
But before you knew it, you were all boarding the jet on your way to Boston, ready to catch a killer.
Yous were the last to board the plane as you forgot your purse and had to run and get it. You walked down the slight aisle going to sit next to Aaron, only realizing that Rossi had sat next to him instead. You, in change, sat next to Emily in a slight huff.
"What is that for?" she said responding to you sitting down in a huff. She had a kindly smile on her face that seemed to be comforting. "Just a bit stressed," you said back trying to shake off her questioning, you glanced over at Aaron again and he gleaned at you as well before you broke it and looked away.
"Clearly you are distressed, your neck says so," she said, poking the obvious hickey on your neck that you attempted to cover with concealer and a scarf. It was not hidden well. "Em, stop it." you huffed again.
"Okay, seriously what is up with you. I thought that last night was your fancy little date with tall guy over there" she gestured to Aaron while talking to you. "It was, but I really don't want to talk about it." you said
Emily grabbed your hand and dragged you to the back of the jet where the coffee machine was, and the slight of privacy that came with it. "You need coffee, jitterbug." she finished as she handed you the cup of coffee that had a bit of cream and sugar in it. "Now talk to me, and don't make me call you sweet cheeks like Derek does." she was trying to make you laugh.
"Last night was everything." you sighed and your heart pounded at the recollection of your thoughts. You kept your words at a soft whisper so that others would not hear the conversation, even so, that the nosey Italian's ears couldn't pick it up.
"So what is wrong?" she looked at you confused.
"Nothing is wrong, that is the issue." you sighed again,
"Care to elaborate?" She was extremely confused now.
"He took me to Fiola Mare, which in the first place is so much more than I expected, we walked on the waterfront, and i really opened up to him. He was so caring and he listened to everything I said. It was amazing." you were smiling and your body once again warmed up at your words.
"And then it rained" you started but were interrupted, "so you are telling me you are huffing over rain?"
"Well if you wouldn't interrupt me." she smiled and nodded signaling you to continue, "anyways, I stood in the rain and he kissed me while it was pouring, it was everything." you paused, looking at her and them looking around you for a second
"and then I think you can figure out what happened after that." you smiled giggling over the slight mentions of sex, "and them this morning too," you said, both of you laughing now. "You dirty dog," she said with a big grin on her face.
"So what is wrong? I'm confused how any of this is bad, It actually seems quite... pleasurable," she said trying to hold back a massive laugh.
"He was gonna tell me he loved me" you blurted out.
"Oh my god" her eyes went wide before she adjusted her emotions according to yours which were very dull. "So that's a bad thing?"
"No...i-" you whined, "I don't know" you sighed face-palming yourself a bit. Emily put her hand on your shoulder and rubbed it a bit.
"What is so wrong with it y/n? Do you love him?" your heart fluttered at her words. You loved him, and you damn well knew it too.
"Yes," you said "but he didn't actually say it to me, He started to, and then Garcia called him, and we haven't spoken since, and now I'm scared he doesn't actually mean it, or that he regretted it." you heart beat faster in nervousness and you rambled your words faster and faster as you spoke.
"what do I do? It's not like I can say it now, we are on a case? I want it to be special." you were just spewing words out as fast as you could. You finished as Emily took the coffee out of your hand and placed it on the table next to the coffee machine. She moved her hands onto your shoulders before gripping them tightly, and then completely shook you.
"Get that out of you," she said before she handed the coffee back to you. "You need to calm the fuck down." you breathed out a breath you didn't even realize you were holding.
"If he was going to say it this morning, I guarantee he will say it again. When Hotch speaks, he speaks with purpose. And I don't think I have seen him like this in a while, he is glowing like a pregnant lady." she joked
You laughed and quipped back, "I hope he isn't pregnant" you both laughed
"You'll know when the time is right. Just don't overthink it, because that is what makes you ramble. And I know that when you tell him, you want to really tell him, not just ramble it out. It'll come naturally, I promise."
"Thank you," you said back to her feeling relieved. Emily always knew the right things to say. That was her strong suit. "Of course, that is what the wine aunty is for." she quipped before she brushed past you and went to sit down.
When you walked back though, Aaron's eyes seemed to follow you. Your gaze met his. His gaze was soft and caring like he needed to apologize, but there was nothing he needed to apologize for. This time, you didn't break the contact, instead you gave him a small delicate smile. Which he reciprocated, and your body buzzed with affection.
You sat in the jet seat, your body warmed with those familiar emotions, and you wondered where you and Aaron would go from here. You fell asleep to your mind's thoughts and the slight white noise that the jet produced.
***
"What if the unsub worked in a medical facility like a vet's office, he has to have access to absurd amounts of ketamine to be able drug these men with that much ketamine," Reid asked as the team scattered to put things on the board.
A day had gone by with no leads, you were looking for a white male in his late forties who was probably 6'4 and was largely built guy. He drugged, raped, and dumped the bodies at different local parks. He was extremely disorganized and the way he treated the bodies hints that he was possibly molested as a kid. Probably by a paternal figure hence the male kidnapping.
"Garcia, how many vets offices are there in a 10 mils radius from each dumping ground," you said to the monitor that showed Garcia so brightly to you guys. You could hear her fingers clicking as she looked for places.
"I've got three" she said, "the addresses are coming your way my pretties. Garcia out" she pressed a button and hung up leaving Aaron to do his job of ordering you guys around.
"Okay, Derek and Prentiss go to the one on Sullivan, JJ and Rossi to the one on Tenly, and Reid and I will go to the one off of Creighton." he paused and observed you guys, he didn't say your name and you were very confused.
"Aaron, what am I-" he cut you off, "stay here and run through this list of people with Garcia."
"But I don't usually do this... isn't that Reid's thing?" you and Reid shared a confused glance because it really was his thing, why were you put onto it? The team started to file out of the room before you grabbed Aaron's hand.
"Y/n, I gave you an order okay? I expect you to follow it," he said calmly but sternly. When he finished you let go, and he walked out. You were shocked for a second, and you stood there.
Why am I here? What did I do to deserve this?
An hour passed of you talked with Garcia through possible unsubs and breaking down their family history. Until something clicked in your head.
"Garcia, how many males work at the vet offices that we sent the team to?" your brain started to piece things together.
"There are only two. One is Calvin Airmen and the other is Thomas...." she went silent.
"Garcia what is it?" you were confused.
"Calvin Abermen was in the custody of his uncle as a child, who recently just died, and he hasn't shown up for work in two weeks. He was also reported for malpractice and stealing drugs a couple of months ago."
"Garcia, that is our guy. Can you send the team and me everything, I need to make a call."
"Of course my ladybird" she hung up the video call and you pulled your phone out to call Aaron who was supposed to be at the Vet clinic where Calvin worked.
"Aaron you need to leave that clinic and go to Calvin Aberman's house. He is our guy, not only does he work for the Creighton office, he was raised by his uncle who recently died, he hasn't shown up for work in two weeks, and he was reported for malpractice and stealing drugs a few months ago. Garcia sent " you finished as you ran out of the police station to head over to his house hoping that he would be there.
"Thank you y/n. Really, thank you," he said like he was trying to make up for something. You were so confused with his feelings, you just ignored him and hung up the phone. He was confusing you all to shit and you were just frustrated.
you drove over to his house and the rest of them had already gotten there. Cops cars surrounded the house and the team stood outside just looking at the house. As you hopped out of the car, you looked at them confused, "Why are we just standing here?"
Derek turned to you and pointed at the big window that showed the unsub inside, "he is sitting in his living room with a male and a gun to his head, he said if anyone comes close he'll shoot him, so we are trying to figure something out." Derek shook his head and you stood there for a second.
"I'm going to try something," Aaron said out loud, detailing nothing except that to the team. He slowly began to walk up the center walkway and again you stopped him.
"What the hell are you doing? He will shoot the guy and you," you said to him in a desperate panic to try to get him to understand what is happening. "I am just trying something, it'll work."
"And what if it doesn't, what if it gets you shot." you looked at him with a look that begged him not to go inside. You held onto him tightly to make sure he doesn't move. "It won't, I promise."
You sighed knowing that anything you say won't stop him from going inside that house so instead, you let him go as your heart raced. You walked back over to where the rest of the team was standing and watched as Aaron slowly walked up to the house.
"He's going to be fine," Derek said to you and you just nodded.
As Aaron walked up to the house, gun in hand and vest covering, he announced his presence, "Calvin, I am Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner, I am going to come inside." he said carefully while he opened the door slightly.
"DROP THE GUN AND TAKE OFF THE VEST" the distressed man yelled out as his grip on his gun gripped tiger and he shoved the tip of the gun hard against the man who sat in his hands. "Calvin you know I cannot do that." his calm words attempted to calm the man down but it seemed to fail.
"You can't come inside with your vest and gun, put them down." the man yelled out again and you watched Aaron sigh. He backed out of the house, took his vest off, and secretly placed his gun in the back waistband of his pants, as he knew better than to go in there unarmed.
"Aaron NO" you yelled out as your last bare attempt for him to not go inside. You were shaking and fear pooled in your eyes in the form of tears. Your eyes were glossed over. He just looked at you and mouthed "please just trust me." Then he walked into the house.
You couldn't hear anything, rather the only thing you saw were the shadows of Aaron and Calvin in the window where the curtains had been closed by Calvin's request when Aaron walked inside.
You just stood there frozen completely panicked as fifteen minutes of Aaron attempting to talk down Calvin passed by. You had no clue what was happening until you heard yelling, and a lot of it. You heart raced again in fear and the yelling got louder.
"GET OUT" you heard once and it was Calvin, "GET OUT" you heard again, "GET OUT" you heard a third time
Oh my god, Aaron get out of there, please just get out.
Then you heard a gunshot.
Everything in your body completely ripped apart and you screamed at the top of your lungs. The team around you sprinted into the house, and while you attempted to, two large arms wrapped around you and practically picked you up. They completely prevented you from moving.
"LET ME GO. I NEED TO GO IN THERE. HE COULD BE HURT." you were hitting and slapping and tried to break out of the strong grip that made you not move. You were pretty sure you also elbowed him in the face. You were freaking out, your body went into shock and you were just screaming and crying. But the grip never let up, and you had no place to move.
"STOP, Y/N, STOP" he yelled and you soon realized it was Derek who was holding you back. He was supposed to do this, he did the same thing for JJ when Will got shot. I was a risk if I went inside, and his tight grip soon calmed you down a bit. "You know I can't let you in there," he said, trying to calm you down.
"He could be hurt, Derek I-" you started saying as you calmed down, but there he was, he walked out of the house unscathed. Your heart came to a stop, and Derek let you free from his tight hold.
You sprinted over to him and fell into his arms that immediately wrapped around you. But when you broke out of the hug you hit his chest really hard with a slap. "What the hell were you thinking?" you said to him.
"There was no other way," he said calmly and you could feel him shake a little bit. He was also clearly distraught from the takedown but was trying to hide it.
"I can think of about eight," you said back to him and his grip on you tightened. You rested your head on his chest, letting into the hug. "God just please don't ever do that again, you scared me, I thought I lost you." your heart started beating hard again like it was pacing uncontrollably.
"I'm right here" he whispered that slightly and kissed the top of your head.
"Aaron," you said looking up at him.
"Mhm?" he said back
"I love you," you said to him quietly as your heart pounded with anticipation
"I love you, too," he said back
your body buzzed again with warmth and affection for the man that you knew you loved. He leaned down and kissed you and it was electrifying. That spark of love tingled on your lips and begged for more when you broke the kiss apart. You just looked at him with adoration, and he looked at you the same way.
"C'mon medical is gonna want to check you out," you said to him as he walked over to a guy that checked him for anything extreme.
When the jet landed it was barely 8:00. It was a long second day on the case, but you were glad to be home on the same day. You and Aaron drove to the BAU together for the case so he decided to drive you home.
He turned to you before you two left, "can you come back to mine?" he said calmly, "I'll have jack if that's okay with you...I just... I don't know." he paused, "I don't want to be alone right now."
You loved his vulnerable side and clearly, he was a bit shaken up from the case, you were glad he felt he could express these things to you without feeling unmasculine like most guys feel. You liked it when guys felt they could be vulnerable and actually express their emotions.
"Of course, whatever you need," you said to him but in your head you were nervous. You did not always get along with kids, of course, it was not on purpose, they just didn't happen to like you. Jack meant so much to Aaron that if Jack didn't like you, you had no clue what would happen.
You swung by your house quickly to grab some clothes and your toiletries before Aaron dove you two back to his house. The night consisted of horrible reality game shows as you two waited for Jessica to drop jack off.
"C'mon I know for a fact the tribe is going to send home Jamie. She tried to blindside all of them," you said to Aaron while aggressively pointing at the tv which was airing the newest episode of survivor. "No way, she has an immunity idol, she'll play it," he said fighting back to your argument.
"But the fact is, she doesn't know they are sending her home, so she won't know to play it," he said grabbing a slice of the pizza you picked up on the way home. You heard a knock at the door and assumed it was Jessica so you let Aaron answer the door.
"Hey buddy, how was Auntie Jessica's?" you watched Aaron from the couch as he squatted down slightly and hugged his son. "It was great, she gave me ice cream and we saw a movie," he said back before Aaron stood up and looked at Jessica.
"I thought I said no more ice creams?" he joked at her and then you realized that you should probably get up and introduce yourself. As you got up and walked closer you heard Jessica say, "Well what auntie would I be if I didn't spoil him?" they both shared a laugh
Then there you stood next to Aaron at the front door. He placed his hand on your lower back and you gave Jessica a kind smile. She was hesitant to return it but eventually did. "Jessica, this is y/n, my girlfriend." your heart throbbed at his words, you already knew it, you just had never heard him say it before.
"I think we've met before, but its nice to formally meet you." she said kindly, "I need to get going, Bye Aaron, bye Jack." she said giving jack a hug goodbye,
"Y/n," she said before she turned and left. Well that was a nice way to leave things
"Hey y/n" the high-pitched little kid's voice rang out and you looked down to see Jack looking up at you. "Hey Jack," you squatted to his level, "I'm shocked you remember me," you said laughing a bit.
"I remember you, you're the girl daddy said he liked. He pointed you out when you came to the triathlon daddy did." your face went bright red and so did Aaron's. "Is that so?" You looked up at Aaron with a grin on your face. "Okay jack that's enough talking, go get ready for bed."
As jack ran off, you stood up again and Aaron wouldn't meet your gaze. "The triathlon, huh?" you said rubbing it into his face, "if I recall, that was in September.... And non of this happened until December" you started making faces and pretended to count on your fingers as Aaron continued to turn red.
"He's just a kid he doesn't know what he talking about." he tried to brush it off. "Mhmm sure, we can chalk it up to that." Aaron rolled his eyes at you, before turning to tuck jack in for bed. "I just need to tuck him in and then we can get back to survivor."
"Aaron, he is your kid who takes all the time in the world, Jeff Probst can wait." you finished giving him a little nod before you heard jack yell from the top of the steps, "Can y/n tuck me in?" you heart dropped into your stomach and your mouth opened a bit in shock.
Aaron was shocked as well too, but he took it gracefully. "Jack, y/n is not gonna-" Jack's face dropped completely like he was genuinely upset that you wouldn't tuck him in. "Aaron, I can do it, it's okay. Are you okay with that though?" you whispered to him and Aaron pondered a bit before he nodded.
"Okay I'll be right back, I promise I won't kill him in the process," you said to him which made him laugh a bit releasing some of the tension that lingered.
You walked upstairs as Jack laid in his bed with a small smile on his face. "Alright big man, we gotta impress your daddy, so do you want a book?" he nodded and you walked over to the bookshelf that seemed to have the second harry potter book out with a bookmark in it. "Is this the one you want?"
"Okay you'll get one chapter then I'll tuck you in, and you'll go to bed, and if you do, I'll buy you an ice cream tomorrow." his face lit up just at the words ice cream. Bribery always works.
And when you finished, you turned out his light and closed the door, and met Aaron on the couch. When you sat down, Aaron put his arms around you and held you close. "How did he do?" he asked. "He went down so easily, you managed to raise such a sweet kid." you smiled at him
"Yeah, a kid who is easily tempted by ice cream." he laughed, "you weren't supposed to hear that." Aaron leaned in and kissed you, it was quick but it was sweet. "I know." he kissed you again.
"I love you." he said and then kissed you again
"I know," you said making a big grin form on both of your faces
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4000 words