"You're kidding me?!" Anger floods my veins. There's no hiding the scowl on my face. I clamp down on my jaw and chew my cheek. I see David wince from the corner of my eye. Turning my head I'm met with our joined hands, a small reminder that I need to I lighten my grip just a little. "I'm sorry." I mouth to him. It's not my fault he's caught in the cross fire. He's the one that chose to hold my hand.
"I'm afraid not." My doctor answers. "You're still only 1 centimeter dilated."
"But I'm 41 weeks! This baby has overcome her stay!" I argue, almost pleading. My doctor is also innocent in this, but my hormones don't discriminate. If my anger is upsetting her, she's not showing it. Her body remains calm and her face is understanding.
"I agree. Let's see if we can get you induced sometime this week." She opens up her laptop and pulls up her schedule. "I have room for Thursday." She raises her eyebrows.
"Three days from now?" I groan.
She nods. "In the mean time, you can continue to do things that may naturally induce labor."
David laughs. "Don't worry doc, we got the intercourse thing down."
I hit him on the shoulder and glare. A familiar heat rushes to my face. Except this time I can't blame it on hormonal hot flashes.
Our doctor isn't dumb, obviously she knows we have sex. I mean case in point; this stubborn little girl who's growing inside me, but he doesn't need to go around announcing it.
She tries to hide a giggle. "I'm all finished here. You can get everything back on and I'll see you in a few days. Unless she decides she's ready to come before then."
I wait to scold him until she leaves. "David Morris, you are insufferable!"
He laughs again. "I can't help it! I'm a happy guy. I mean who wouldn't be after having sex basically every day."
Ignoring him, I hop off the exam table and stomp to my clothes. After trying and failing to get my pants on because of the big basketball I call a baby blocking my way, David wordlessly intervenes. I carefully watch, as he helps me put one leg in at a time before pulling them up past my bump.
He kneels in front of me and kisses my belly. "Hi, sweetie, it's your daddy. I know you're comfy, but your mommy is gonna keep yelling if you don't come out soon. It doesn't bother me though. I love her so much. And between you and me, you're mom's cute when she's angry."
Feeling my anger melt away, I remind myself he can't get off that easy. "I'm still mad at you."
He stands up and hugs me. "Don't be. It shouldn't matter if we're having tons of awesome sex. We're making up for lost time."
Just like that, all the anger is gone and I melt into his arms.
:::
Something is different. Even with all the drama of the night, he holds nothing back with this kiss. I have no idea what he said to his dad, but when he came down the stairs, I expected to see anger and agitation. Instead, I saw relief and acceptance.
As he pulls me over the console, my heart fills with hope and my body floods with desire. Grinding against him is almost a religious experience. I can blame that comparison on 5 months of no action.
He pulls away, replacing desire with disappointment. Although he tries to reassure me with a caress of the cheek, I'm still afraid that tomorrow we're going to go back to pretending to not love each other.
"It's getting late. I should get going." He says softly.
"Or you could stay?" I try my best to give him a confident smile. One that says, I know you won't reject me. But as I turn and walk toward the door, a shiver of fear escapes me. I'm too scared to turn around to see if he's following me. I try to listen for a car door closing, but it's pointless because all I can hear is my heartbeat. My shaky hands make it difficult for me to get my key into the door. Suddenly, a warm large hand covers mine and guides my key into the lock.
My head falls back against his chest. "I wasn't sure if you were going to come."
We unlock the door and walk inside. I hang up my keys on the rack and turn around.
His eyes trail me up and down. I can feel the electricity buzzing between us and it's almost overwhelming. I want to cower, but instead I bite my lip and stare right back.
His chest rises and falls to match his heavy breathing. I take in a deep breath when my eyes meet the intensity of his. The little light shining in the room reflects off his eyes making them sparkle, but it still doesn't hide his predatory glance.
"I didn't even have to think about it." He acknowledges my previous statement with a whisper before walking over to me. He holds the back of my neck in his hands. "You and I are inevitable. I don't know why I even fought it."
My breath catches in my throat.
"I spent too long holding myself back from the things I want." Our foreheads meet and neither one of us make a move. We just stand there, our breaths in sync, his touch burning, and my eyes never leaving his. That is until, he licks his lower lip.
I really want to kiss those lips. But I can't. Not yet.
"I always thought I didn't deserve anything good, but tonight I realize that was all a lie. I'm giving myself permission to be happy. You. Us. Our family. That's what makes me happy."
"What are you saying?" I turn away from him, trying to hide my smile. Just in the off chance I'm misinterpreting him, but I don't think I am.
"I'm not fighting this anymore." He promises.
I whip around and my eyebrows raise. "We're doing this?"
"We're doing this." He says against my lips right before they meet.
Heat surges through my whole body, causing me to lose all control.
The goddess is being unleashed.
Somehow I've managed to get his shirt off and unbutton his pants as we stumble to the bedroom.
He pulls away breathlessly. "Sarah, we don't need to rush. I'm not going anywhere." Although that may be true, I can't wait any longer. His glossy eyes, swollen lips, messy hair, and a hardened bulge that needs to be set free, fuels me. I did that to him. And I want to do more.
I whine as I reach for him and he walks back toward me. His movements are slow and deliberate, showing me he's in control. Once he reaches me, he brings me close and kisses me slowly and deeply.
I weave my fingers through his short hair, my nails scratching at his scalp. A hum escapes his throat, shooting desire right through me. He grabs my waist and pulls me into him, letting me feel what I'm doing to him. I whimper softly at the thought of us being together again. His tongue meets mine and I momentarily lose my breath.
His fingers begin to trace the skin on my back. A
shiver runs down my spine. Grabbing the material of my shirt at the bottom he trails his fingers up my back, up to my neck before breaking the kiss to pull my shirt over my head.
I breathe heavily while David looks at me with not only desire, but awe. "I want you today and every day. Doing this means that you're stuck with me forever. I'm not running away again." He promises.
Tears brim my eyes. "I want that too."
As a tear falls, David quickly wipes it away with his thumb before wrapping me in his arms around and kissing me.
I'm in such a daze, I don't realize we moved until I feel the softness of my bed under me. David comes in between my legs and hovers over me, his strong arms holding him up. My lips are quickly abandoned, when he moves to nip at my neck. I bite my lip to hold in a moan trying to escape. Stretching my neck to the side as a silent plead for him to continue, my eyes fall on his arms; veins bulging and muscles flexing. When his lips meet my breasts, my back arches, eyes roll back, and my hands wrap around his wrists. His teeth pull on my nipple, causing my grip to tighten instantly. This time, I don't fight it, releasing a high pitched whine.
"Please." I lift my hips to meet his bulge, needing release.
My plead does everything I want it to, because in a matter of seconds, we're both naked and ready.
Our eyes bore into each other as he slides inside me. I arch my back and begin to pulse around him. I force my eyes to stay open so I can see the look on his face.
The soft grunts he makes, spur me on.
"This is going to be slow," he growls, putting all of him a inside me. "And deep."
"Uh huh." The pleasure coursing through me doesn't allow me to speak only whine and moan in agreement.
His hot tongue plays with my ear. "We have so much time to make up for."
I lift my lower half, meeting his thrusts.
I wail, when he hits my special spot; the one deep inside me that will soon be the cause of a much needed orgasm.
"I love hearing you moan." His movements become faster.
"Tell me you love me." I beg.
He grunts. "Oh, god. Sarah I love you so much."
The combination of his movements, his words, and our love send me over the edge.
I can't breathe, I'm too busy drawing out a long moan. David doesn't relent. He continues his movements as I ride out my orgasm. His eyes watch me come undone, urging his own release.
We kiss one last time before pulling away and falling asleep in each others arms.
:::
I wince from another solid kick to the ribs. It's no surprise I can't sleep. In the past few weeks, this little girl has woken me up at the same time every night.
"It's not party time, missy!" I rub my stomach trying to ease the pain.
Telling from experience, her gymnastics routine she's performing in my stomach could take hours. The best thing to do is wait it out.
I click on the lamp that's next to me on my side
table. Slowly, I slide open the drawer, cursing under my breath, at the loud creak it makes.
David hums in his sleep. I turn and check on him. He's still curled up onto his side, facing me. There's a cute little smile playing on his lips as he continues to sleep. His eyes flutter just a little and his breathing is even.
Sometimes I find myself just staring at David. Probably a little creepy, but he amazes me. He's been through so much this past year and somehow has persevered.
Last week, he celebrated nine months of sobriety and tomorrow we're going to have a baby.
We may have done things a little backwards, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.
A month after we reconciled and decided to continue the relationship, we decided to move in with each other.
Fast forward two weeks and David found me my dream home; front porch, multi-leveled, four bedroom, and three bath beauty.
JJ was excited that he wouldn't have to share a room anymore.
Going back to my drawer, I pull out a word search to pass the time until this little one calms down.
Wait. Now I have to go to the bathroom.
"David." I nudge him. "David, wake up."
He shoots up. "What? What's wrong?"
"Your daughter is using my bladder as a trampoline."
He breaths a sigh of relief. "You mean our daughter. Do you need help?"
"I think I got it. I just thought you deserved to suffer from sleep deprivation as well."
"So considerate." He says with a tired chuckle.
A groan escapes as I manage to get out of bed. I waddle to the bathroom, grateful I don't have to go far.
"Can I just say how much I love this master bathroom?"
"You say that every time you use it." I hear the amusement in his voice.
I sit down on the toilet. Nothing.
"Just kidding! It was a false alarm." I yell from the bathroom.
I waddle back into bed. "Do you think we're ready?"
David kisses my stomach. "Yes. Everything is baby proofed, the nursery is done, the hospital bag is packed, we have arrangements for JJ, and I've read every baby book you've given me. This time tomorrow, we'll be parents."
"You're gonna jinx it!" I whine. "Even after induction, it could take awhile. Now I'm going to be in labor for days because of you!"
"I don't think that's how it works. But I promise, I'll be with you every step of the way."
I take his hand. "Forever right? Like you're not going to leave me five years from now?"
He gives me an unimpressed look. "Yes, you're stuck with me. I love you, Sarah and someday you're going to be my wife."
"And you'll be my husband?" I raise my eyebrows.
"That's usually how it works." He teases.
"I know I just like to hear it. I love you, too."
I stretch, hoping to ease some of the pain and tension in my shoulders and back. "How are you feeling about tomorrow?" A yawn escapes me, telling me what I already know, I need to sleep.
David doesn't answer. Instead, he gets up and moves to the end of the bed. Taking my foot into his magical hands he massages my swollen feet. "Close your eyes." He kneads the back of my foot with his fist. I don't know what he's doing. But I hope he doesn't stop. "Take deep breaths and relax your body."
"What are you doing?" I say though a moan.
"I'm trying to help you get back to sleep." His thumbs move to the heel of my foot. "So if you could try not to moan, I would grateful appreciate it."
"Oops." I chuckle. "But you didn't answer my question."
"I have no worries about tomorrow. Right now, I just want my baby momma to rest so she has energy for tomorrow." His fingers weave in between my toes.
"Oh my gosh! Don't call me that." I giggle.
"I'm teasing. Now stop being stubborn and relax." He smirks.
Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes and let David soothe my sore feet.
And just like that, I'm drifting off to sleep.
:::
"Are you ready to push?"
David pumps his fist in the air. "Yes!"
"She was asking me, weirdo." I laugh. "Are you sure it's time?" I ask the doctor.
We've been here for 8 hours, making little progress until just recently.
She nods. "You're fully dilated. I'm guessing the epidural is working? Feeling any pain?"
"I'm good."
"Okay, let's push then!"
Everything is a blur. Two people holding my legs; David on one side, a nurse on the other. The doctor telling me to push.
"You're so beautiful." David says to me in the middle of a grunting push.
Take a break.
Push again.
"You're doing great, Sarah. Keep going." David pushes the sweaty hair out of my face.
Push.
"That's my girl!" He cheers.
"David, shut up." I grit out.
"Sorry, you're amazing."
Push again.
"A few more pushes." The doctor says.
Push. Breathe. Push. Breathe.
A wailing cry, then tears well up in my eyes as my daughter is handed to me. David kisses the top of my head and we stare at the beautiful baby in my arms.
"Welcome to the world, Sophia Collins Morris."
:::
"I thought she was going to bite my head off." David manages to say through his laughter.
Everyone's here now; Mom, Suzanne, Jim, JJ, Sam, and Shirley. David had to go into an elaborate birth story, leaving everyone laughing.
I really don't remember much other than pushing and David being a little too energetic for my taste.
Regardless of how sassy I was in that moment, I'm so happy to have him here.
"Then when Sarah held this little cutie in her arms, all annoyance fell away." David looks down at our new addition. He finally got her back in his arms after everyone had a turn holding her.
"Hey! Her name is not cutie it's Sophia!" JJ says with furrowed eyebrows and a small frown. "And she's my little sister so be careful!"
We all try to hold back our laughter at the protective big brother.
"Could I take a picture of the four of you?" Shirley asks timidly. "For your father?" She says to David quietly.
David still hasn't fully spoken to his dad, aside from the one time they ran into each other at a group session. His dad hasn't had a drink since the night David confronted him. Even though Reggie has been sober for about four months, David isn't fully ready to forgive him yet. But we've discussed still sharing updates with him, until David is comfortable.
Even though David isn't ready yet, he still wants his dad to have the opportunity for absolution just like he did with JJ and myself.
David looks at me hesitantly asking for my permission about the picture. Nodding my head, he hands me Sophia and grabs JJ before all four us smile for our first family photo.
Only one more chapter left! 😬🥰
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~JW