"Fuck valentines, bitch, fuck valentines, bitch
You ain't gettin' no candy."
-huncho moonk
__________________________________
Harlow
happy valentine's day beautiful🌹
unknown #
happy valentine's day baby girl🥺❣️
Ty
wasup? happy v-day
Mommy💜😘🤞🏾
good morning hazelnut, happy valentine's
day baby, i've left for my appointment th...
I opened my mom's message first before responding to everyone else. She had a doctors appointment at nine and made me breakfast. I texted her back thanking her, and then shot everyone else back a thank you, and happy valentine's day text except the unknown number. I couldn't wrap my head around how this individual had my number but I ignored it.
Today wouldn't be as special for me but that was every year. It was best for me to go ahead, shower, and get dressed. It was a week day so I would work three-thirty to six instead of my regular seven to four. I dressed myself in a red collared shirt, skinny jeans, and my air forces. I did some light makeup, and curled my hair. I was in love with this orange hair and I wasn't sure when I'd take it out.
I went downstairs to the kitchen to eat breakfast. I opened the door to the microwave seeing heart shaped chocolate chip pancakes, french toast sticks, and a bowl of fruit. All cut up into heart shapes. It was so cute, couldn't help but to take a picture.
After I ate, I grabbed my bag and I was ready to head off to warm the car up but my phone went off. I looked at the caller ID, it was Hazel.
"Hello?" I answered, looking around the room.
"Hey, let's ride the bus today." Harlow, suggested. I narrowed my eyes to the left, we hadn't rode the bus in months.
"For what?" I asked. "The last time we rode the bus was like, October." I said, trying to remember.
"Please, it'll be like old times." She pleaded. I really wanted to drive the car. I felt comfortable and it was quieter with playing my own music.
"I don't know, Harlow. I like driving better then riding that stank ass bus." I huffed.
"Okay," She hung up, and I threw my phone in my bag. I didn't feel like riding the bus, and her hanging up because I didn't want to ride was rude.
—
I stared out the window as we passed by houses that weren't apart of the route. Harlow's house was up next, as we approached it I looked out the window this bitch wasn't even outside. How the hell you gonna tell me to ride the bus then not even be outside?
The bus driver waited for a few seconds and then drove off. I was pissed. Why the hell she do that? I sent her text,
Harlow
why tf u tell
me to ride this
bus & you not even
outside??!
umm hazel, u just
said you didn't wanna
ride so i went on🤨
k.
I sighed. She had a point. I plugged in my pods and turned on 6LACK- Long Nights. Today felt different, I guess because it was Valentine's day and all them damn couples all around school would be hugged up and kissing. While my fat ass stood in the corner looking like Little Red Riding Hood. The rest of the ride to school was swift and now we were parked by the side. Everyone unloaded, headed inside. I went straight to my locker to put my books away, I didn't bring my book bag. I usually did all my homework on Mondays then rest of the week was work work work.
"Hazel." I rolled my eyes slamming my locker shut and turned around. "Don't look like that, you said you wasn't riding." Harlow stressed. I didn't utter a word I just looked at her. She smacked her lips and walked away. I shrugged heading to my class. I don't feel like chasing after her or arguing.
All day I thought about what would've happened differently if we wouldn't have shopped that day or went a different direction what the outcome would have been? Would she have been instantly dead if she had been shot in a different part of the body? My mother's face always crossed my mind from that day. She looked so scared, so vulnerable. I know we didn't go to church, we've actually never attended but Jesus kept my mom. Now, she's pregnant with my either baby brother or sister. Come to find out the baby was never struck and is still healthy and thriving.
My eyes narrowed to the clock on the wall, twenty more minutes of this Civics and Economics class and then it's on to Health & P.E. Mr. Johnson was playing The Patriot, I had seen this movie before, it had been awhile. It was long as hell but worth the watch.
"Put your phones away. I don't know why I have to keep repeating myself." He scoffed, I looked around the room and a lot of people were tapping away. My very own phone buzzed but I ignored it. I didn't want to get in trouble and I was right in the front row. I raised my hand for permission to use the restroom. My wish was granted and I exited the room. I sped walked to the bathroom, as my phone began to ring. I sighed see it was my job. They knew not to call me while I was at school.
"Hello?" I answered, lowly.
"Hi Miss. Hazel I hate to call you, I know you're at school but is there anyway you can come in around three? We are very short on staff. Two called out, and one just left early because her son is sick." I shook my head. These bitches aggy, she just hired two new staff members and I bet they the ones that called out.
"Sure, no problem." I lied, it was a problem because now I'd be up and I was exhausted. I had upcoming tests and projects due that I haven't started on.
"Thank you so much. See you at three." I faked smile looking at myself in the full body mirror.
"No problem." I ended the call, exhaling a breath I didn't even know I was holding. I twisted and turned looking at my silhouette. I looked smaller, I felt smaller. I looked down at my phone tapping on my weight tracking app. I had went from three-hundred pounds to two-hundred fifty three pounds. I had lost forty-seven pounds. All that weight loss wasn't from me trying to be healthy but instead I was depressed, and mentally fucked. I so badly wanted to tell my mom what had gone on while she was away but I don't want to stress her out and mess with that beautiful baby inside her belly.
It was almost the end of the day and I was dreading on having to go in for work. What's the whole point of applying to a workplace but already calling out? I know their checks looking like the total for groceries at walmart. I received a message from Harlow to meet her in the school parking lot. I guess she was done being a bitch and ready to be a real friend. I honestly didn't want to go but whatever I guess.
I looked around but didn't see her so I facetimed her. "Yeah? Where you at?" She asked.
"I was about to ask you the same damn thing." I retorted.
"I'm by my car. Look up I'm waving my hand." I did as instructed and she was far as hell.
"Why the fuck are you way down there, Harlow?" I groaned, picking up the pace. She know my fat ass is out of shape.
"It was full when I got here this morning. Just bring yo ass I'll stay up here with you." I rolled my eyes, jogging a little bit. It was chilly out here too and it looked like it was going to storm.
Eventually I made my way over and Harlow was not alone. "Seriously? What the fuck is this?" I mugged, motioning to Issac, and Bashar.
"Can I talk to you? Please?" Bashar said, stepping forward.
"Fuck you Bashar, I don't have shit to say to you." I spat talking with my hands.
"Hazel." Harlow, said calmly.
"Harlow, be quiet because you betrayed me as a friend. You're supposed to be my sister." I argued, looking at her.
"Hazel, what the hell are you talking about?" Harlow said, raising her voice.
"You still chose to hang with these stupid fucks after they shot my fucking mom. Already knowing I was uncomfortable with being around them. Then you get upset with me when I spaz out of anger. I don't want to be around none of them. Stop talking to me, leave me the fuck alone!" I yelled storming off. I was done with everyone at this point, fuck Valentine's Day.
—
I clocked in and walked straight to my classroom. God knows I do not want to be here but these kids had to be looked after and taken care off. I opened the door as it creaked, Amy turned around from changing a diaper. "Hi babe. You looking good, happy Valentine's Day. Like the decorations I set up?" I looked around the room and it was cute.
"It's beautiful and I look like-"
"Aht aht aht, you better not say it. A thank you is the only thing I'll accept so, you're welcome." I giggled, hanging my purse and jacket in the closet.
"Say what?" I said, playing dumb.
"You know, don't play dumb Hazel." She cheesed. I giggled as the toddlers walked around the room. Either playing with a toy, or messing with something they had no business.
I sat in the floor in my regular spot watching as they played. They had such a easy life, no problems, the females don't have to worry about dick head boys, the boys playing with some girls feelings. No depression, no tears relating to family or something toxic. All they did was poop, eat, play, and sleep.
"What's wrong, talk to me." I didn't even know Amy was sitting down too until she started talking. "And don't say you're okay because I can see with my very own to eyes that you aren't." Amy pointed out.
I sighed exhaling. I could trust Amy then again I didn't like venting to other people about my problems. I didn't like people to worry about me.
"I feel like my friend betrayed me but at the same time she didn't." I began.
"Elaborate." She nodded, for me to continue. I explained to Amy everything that had happened from beginning to end. I didn't leave anything out. She didn't show any emotion nor make any faces she just listened.
"Damn." She blurted lowly, just for me to hear. These kids were like sponges, they soaked up everything they heard and we didn't want them to repeat nothing we said. "It does indeed sound like she betrayed you but it also sounds like she forgave them too. Despite how you felt she still wants to connect with this Issac character. You have to forgive as well but on your own time. I don't want y'all to stop being friends because of this. Y'all need to work it out, communicate with her, okay?" I nodded. "I'm glad that you're mom is okay, and congratulations on a new baby brother or sister. But Hazel, please forgive him, even though he's running around in the street I can look at you and see that you like him and you'd be devastated if something happened to him." Amy leaned in pulling me for a hug. I appreciated Amy and the advice she gave.
I understood where she was coming from I was just so angry with him. If you look at it from the police point of view, he's a murderer. That's right along with his friends as well. The thing was their faces weren't covered and no telling what camera had caught all the action.
Amy and I pulled away just as the door opened. "Hey Amy, you have a visitor." Amy nodded, standing herself up. She gave me a pat on the back before leaving the room.
I was left alone in my thoughts again and it drifted off back to Bashar. Harlow too. She was best fucking friend, since seventh grade and I'd feel a little silly ending our friendship over a guy I barely knew anything about. Harlow, in my eyes disrespected my I feel. She went behind my back on several occasions just to see Issac. A piece of dick. Surprisingly I didn't want to just fuck on Bashar, I wanted him to be somebody I could confide in, tell my secrets to, be friends without the benefits. I wanted to connect with him on a completely different level. Approach his heart in a different way. Bashar looked like a fuck boy type but his intentions played out in another way. I guess I'd just have to pray about it and let the results reveal themselves out loud.