Saihara.. My best friend.. just confessed to me. My heartbeat increased tremendously as I felt my face start to heat up. I feel a smile come across my face, I'm so happy he thinks of me like that. M-Maybe I like him too.. I wouldn't mind him being my boyfriend. Then, a thought interrupts my happiness.
If he becomes my boyfriend, I'll just lose him. Just like Rantaro.
...
I was too afraid of the thought of us hating each other. I don't know what I would do if that happened. This will just be a repeat of the last time I tried dating. I'm not meant for love. I don't deserve him, I'll just break his heart horribly. I prepared my lie..
"I'm sorry, Saihara.. But.. I can't."
I see the color fade from his face. He just turned pale and looked away. He reached for his hat, that was still not there. I bit my lip to stop myself from tearing up.
"O-Oh.. Okay.." his voice was thick as he responded.
"I just want to be friends, Saihara. I hope you can understand. You're my greatest friend, so please don't leave me, okay? Just forget this ever happened, please don't avoid me." I say to him in an caring tone. I ask frequently to make sure he won't leave. "If you need some time alone for a few days.. I'll understand though."
He just nods his head and smiles at me. It looked insincere. "Of course, Akamatsu. I just need some time alone, though, okay? We'll definitely still be friends. I'll talk to you when I'm ready."
I smile back at him. "Okay!"
"I'm gonna head home now. Bye Akamatsu!" He waves at me and runs off before I could react.
"..Bye Saihara." once he was gone I feel tears fall from my eyes.
Huh..? Why.. Why am I crying?
~Perspective Change~
Once I'm away from Akamatsu's sight, I start speed walking home.
I cover my eyes with my hand and let the tears form.
Eventually, I collapse against a random car parked on the street.
I'm such an idiot!
Why did I even think Akamatsu would accept my confession? Of course she would reject, we've been friends for only like a month now. And she was perfect, I'm just some high schooler that always needs help from her. I'm just useless.
I wipe away the tears that accumulated on my eyes. I'm so dumb. I wouldn't be feeling this sadness right now if only I knew to stay in my own lane.
Suddenly, a guy towers over me.
"H-Huh? Oh, s-sorry I was on your car." I get up and wipe the dirt off my butt.
My eyes adjust to the light and I realized it was..
"M-Momota!"
"Hey, Shuichi. The hell happened? Who did this to you?" he said in an angry voice. "Did someone make you cry?"
"I-I wasn't crying.." I say as I wipe my eyes again, getting the excess tears out.
"Dude, I saw you. I was just walking to my house and I saw you crying. Don't lie to me, if you bottle up your feelings, it can't get fixed."
"O-Okay.." I just sighed, I was embarrassed I was caught crying. "I got rejected by Akamatsu."
I looked at him and he looked genuinely shocked. "For real?! No way."
I chuckled awkwardly. "Yea, it makes sense. There's no way I'm in her league. I got way too ahead of myself."
Suddenly, he glares at me. "The hell you mean?"
"I mean, I'm just some average kid with a semi above average talent in solving cases, while Akamatsu is beautiful and a prodigy in piano. There's no way I'd add up to her-"
Suddenly, Momota punched me in the face and I fell to the ground.
"Clench your teeth Shuichi!"
I rubbed where he hit me. "O-Ow.." I looked up at him confused.
"That's for being weak, Shuichi. She rejected you once, and what? You give up immediately?"
I nod. "I wasn't good enough for her anyways.." He punches me again.
"No! That's the wrong action. Think more of yourself! You're more than enough for her, so there's no point to stop trying!"
"There's no way I'm worthy.."
He punches me again.
"Come on! Get pissed off at me, I literally punched you!"
I say nothing.
"Was your love that weak that you're gonna give up right now!?"
I yell at him. "Yea, of course I'm gonna give up right now! My love isn't weak, it's just that she doesn't share those feelings, so I don't want to make her uncomfortable and keep trying! It's over!"
He snickers. "Well, I'm glad you got some bite in you for you to yell back. Except, you're wrong."
"What do you mean?" I asked, still glaring at him.
"I know Akamatsu likes you back. I don't know why she's hiding it from you, but she does. It's my intuition, dude. Kaito Momota is never wrong!" he reaches for my hand and I let him pull me up.
"Sorry for hitting you, but you've got to stop belittling yourself."
"It's fine.." I wipe off the dirt from my clothes.
"Don't ever think you're worst than another person, unless that person's me, but that's only because I'm the man that'll set a path for humanity to go to the stars!" he laughed heroically but then started coughing.
He continued talking. "Don't let this bring you down, man. Be more confident in yourself. If you call yourself a man, you won't let this drag you down for long. Don't think because of this, you're not worthy enough for her. You're definitely worthy, because you're the sidekick of Kaito Momota, Luminary of the Stars!"
I just smiled. "Thanks, Momota."
"No problem, Shuichi!" he gives me a thumbs up. "As long as you understand. Don't let this get you down, okay? It's not that big of a deal, treat her the same you always treated her!
I awkwardly smile. "I-I'll try."
That's a lie.
How could this not bring me down? She probably thinks I'm stupid for confessing. Why would you confess to your friend of one month? I'm such an idiot. I walk home and enter my house. I slam the door and dash into my room. My uncle and Fuyuka are still at work, luckily.
I'm such an idiot.
What is wrong with me?
How can I face her now?
She probably thinks less of me.
It's over, I made the rest of our relationship awkward.
She'll never see me the same.
I hate myself.
Those thoughts invaded my mind as I sobbed into my pillow. Eventually, I drifted myself to sleep.
...
Somehow, I slept for the rest of the day. I woke up and it was already morning.
I didn't eat dinner..
I sigh and look at myself in the mirror. I looked terrible. My eyes were black and I could see my face was still a bit red from crying. I head to the bathroom and wash my face, hopefully I'll look better by the time school starts. I kept splashing myself with water until I didn't look like a zombie and got ready for the day. Akamatsu probably wasn't gonna wait for me today..
I saw my hat on the table.. I debated on whether to take it or not.
No.. I promised.. A promise is still a promise.
I got my stuff, waved goodbye to my uncle with a smile, and headed to school, alone.
...
When I got there, Akamatsu was laughing with Shirogane. She catches a glance at me and waves at me and I awkwardly wave back. I sat near Momota today, he was talking to Harukawa.
"Oh, hey Shuichi! Why aren't you sitting with Kaede?" he tilts his head and asks me.
"..It's just awkward right now. Give me some time, okay?"
"What happened?" Harukawa asked. It would be embarrassing if other people figured out so I signaled for him not to tell her.
"O-Oh, uh! Shuichi got caught sneaking into Kaede's house to steal her underwear, and yea she's pretty mad at him right now! Really unfortunate.." he gave me a wink and a thumbs up after he said that.
Momota.... Why..? Out of every lie..?
Harukawa glares at me. "How do you want to die?"
A cold chill goes down my back from her gaze. Momota realizes that my life was about to end so he saves me.
"Oh haha! J-Just kidding Maki Roll!" Momota says with a fake laugh. "In reality, she uh.. She stole Saihara's underwear, and that's why things are weird!"
I was surprised nobody was hearing our conversation.
Harukawa just huffed. "Oh, I guess you can't tell me the real reason then. It's fine if you can't tell me, Saihara. Sorry for believing this idiot for a moment, I should know you're better than that." She stared at Momota. "Can't you think of a better lie than stealing underwear, Momota?"
"I have no time to practice lying, the Luminary of the Stars steers away from the truth! It's a bad example towards kids that look up to me."
"But you just did." I chuckle.
...
The rest of the day, me and Akamatsu didn't talk. It felt.. Wrong. I could see Momota was giving me more aggressive glances throughout the day when I didn't interact with her at all.
Finally, the day ended. I walked to the back of the school and sat down at a random bench near the garbage. I sighed.
"I'm so stupid.. I should've known I don't equal up to her.. I'm just some weirdo.." I mutter.
"So this is where you've been, huh?"
I glance towards the direction of the voice and see Momota walking towards me.
"I heard that, dude." He sighed. "Don't you remember what I said? You're worthy. Did the talk we had yesterday not matter?!"
I just look down feeling guilty.
"You're too busy overthinking about this, that you're avoiding her and making things worst!" he yells at me.
"I'm scared, Momota! I can't face her after this.. I keep thinking of why she rejecting me, and she obviously did it because I'm not good enough! I'm just too weak, nobody wants an unconfident kid like me!" I can feel the tears form in my eyes.
He punches his hands together and looks at me determined. "Alright! So that's your enemy, huh? You've gotta fix your own worries but.. Hey, come with me!"
"W-What? Why? Where??" I ask as he drags my somewhere.
"You'll see."
...
He takes me to a random lake in the neighborhood. There's not anything here, just the grass and a stone patio.
"What is this?" I ask as he lets go of my arm.
He gives me a cheeky smile and points a thumbs up. "My chill area! On the weekends, I typically come here to just stare at the stars when it turns night. It's still the afternoon, but hey, it's peaceful."
"..Thanks?? Why did you take me here?"
"Let's train, dude." he gives me a thumbs up and a smirk.
"W-What?? Why??"
"I haven't been doing my typical astronaut training because I've been so busy in school.. So, we're gonna do it here!"
"What?!"
"No more complaining! Take off your coat and give me 50!"
I don't know why this happened, but I ended up doing push ups with Momota after getting rejected. My arms were giving out, I never do push ups.
"Urgh... *pant* W-Why do I even have to do this.." I groan.
"Don't think about it, Shuichi! Just keep 'em coming!" Momota said, yet he hadn't even done 5 push ups.
Eventually, I ended up doing 50 and fell on the grass, panting extremely hard.
"Dang man.. You're already out after 50 push ups?"
"I.. never do push ups." I say through my panting.
"Well, that's okay. You'll do better tomorrow!"
"Tomorrow??" I exclaim.
"Yea, of course! That's what daily training is!" he said as if it had been blatantly obvious we were doing this.
I look at him confused "But, why am I getting daily training?"
"To get you stronger of course. Mentally stronger, I mean."
Oh, so that's what this is about.
"It frustrates me.. How you belittle yourself. You keep overthinking about this one unfortunate moment. I already told you dude, she doesn't hate you or think you're weird." he closes his eyes and sighed.
"How do you know that?" I asked.
"I just know, Shuichi. Trust me, okay? The Luminary of the Stars is never wrong!" he gives me a thumbs up. "With our training, we're gonna get you stronger, not only physically, but mentally too. It's okay to be weak as long as you know, that's why we just gotta train and get stronger! It's the only way to overcome our weaknesses."
He's right.. Maybe I do need this..
"Alright, fine. I'll come to training tomorrow. I'll try to be more confident in myself, and I'll try to talk to Akamatsu tomorrow." I give him a genuine smile.
"Alright! That's what I'm talking about! Didn't expect any less from my sidekick."
I just laugh. Momota really is a nice guy.
"Anyways, I'll see you later, bro! Training is done for today so. Meet me here again at the same time tomorrow." he runs off and waves at me. I wave back.
I'm gonna be a person you can look up to, Akamatsu! I'll try not to doubt myself..