The fall of Avengrovo was always dark; it seemed as if a darkness fell upon the small town every night WHICH MAKES SENSE SINCE THERE'S SMT CALLED NIGHTTIME. ANYWHOOOO there in her house slept such an uncharacteristically beautiful girl that she could literally make boys have nose bleeds and turn straight women into lesbians. But thats not important so on this special night, it was distectly chilly, the scent of dead rats filled the lockroom(whatever that is). "GOOD THING I WAS AT HOEM SKIPPIN SCHOOL", it was at this pInt she realized it was valentine's day and that she was extra lonely but dont worry, she'll be stealong all the other girls boyfriends and acting like a dense hoe with about the personality of a toothbrush even though shes UNIQUE.
BUT, as all hope semed lost there he was holding a sports ball cause hes MANLY and shining with all his SPECTRAL GLORYNESS, probably having some muscular vieny arms, and is actually a control freak because they have been reduced to a love interest. BUT THEN GASP WHATS THIS?! Its an overbearing, BEST FRIEND, "OMG JESSICA >:( you like TOTALLY LIKE HEEM! "NO IM NOT I NEED TO BE SELF DEPRICATING AND AND SAD CAUSE NOBODY understand me to actually have a character. "GIRL STFU AND STOP BEING DEPRESSED, just go get em[insert tiger emoji]" OH BUT HANG ON, just as jessilene or watever started to get a character HERE COMES THE UNFORTUNATE LOVE TRIANGLE VICTIM. He's probobly just as hot maybe even slightly bratty but you know PLOT. "I LOVE JAHBIVA MORE THEN YOU' STATED THE HOT OF THE HOTTEST MANZ OF THE WORLD, "bruh" stated the giga chad of nothing. "Soup fighting!" cried jesiah, but they were too busy fighting over smt trivial like their iq or possibly what happened in last nights sports games #GOLDENSTATE anywayssssss, then just as they were gonna turn this book from a G rating to an M rating their respective best friends came alone, AND AS THEY saw each other they blushed so heavily at each other you could just tell they were 'ALL HOMO" for each other cause gay = flavour. They shyly waved at each other completely ignoring the murder happening two feet next to them, "OMG YOU SO GAY LIKE KPOP OR WHATEVAR" said the best friend rachel.
FINALLY, Penny our saviour the horse of magical my little pony franchise came along sprinkled magical plot saving juice cause why not (the author is literally having a stroke) and like that both men seemed to settle their differences and Jessalio chose the love interest cause thats all he was here for anf thn they got married, had two children, moved to the suburbs and adopted a dog. The End.
Oh and also all the side characters died alone