⚠️VERY LONG CHAPTER AHEAD⚠️
Every morning, Jungkook comes to school ridding his motorcycle. He lives on the other side of the city and it would take at least 30 minutes on foot to get to school. But when he has a motorcycle - in just a blink of an eye, you are here.
His uncle bought him the motorcycle. Jungkook lived with them while his mom sent him money from the overseas.
I would also like to live far away from school so my parents would buy me a motorcycle, without asking, what I need it for.
But now, there's no need for that. It's only a 10 minute walk from my house to the school.
Everytime I mention something about getting a car, they tell me the same thing over and over again:
"You'll have time to drive around. Now you have to focus on your studies"
When Jungkook takes off his helmet and those leather gloves, every girl drools at him.
When they look at Jungkook, they become like starving wolves.
Jungkook, ah, Jungkook.
Jungkook's eyes, Jungkook's shoulders, oh and his smile - oh that charming smile...
During my whole 17 years of living, I have never seen so many girls drool over the same guy.
I can confirm that all girls are the same. They have the same eyes, the same taste in men and the same opinion.
All of them like Jungkook.
All of them like broad shoulders, a muscular body and the strength that muscular body brings. They all could die for such a man. All of them try to get such man's attention.
Back when I was younger, I always thought and hoped that somewhere out there, there was a girl that's different. A girl that likes classical music, the piano and the name Kim Taehyung.
As years passed, of course, my opinion changed. Girls no longer interested me.
But no girl is different. They all are like a bunch of female copies made in a factory.
The thing is though, Jungkook doesn't really pay them any mind. Or at least - he doesn't show it.
He's probably already used to it.
From where he's from - he definitely got the same amount of attention as here. He knows his worth and that's why we can't be together. And maybe he's straight too.
His head is full of all kinds of sports and working out. He's not interested in girls, at least for now.
As for the time being - girls try to get his attention and to chat him up. Jungkook became honey and the girls were bees.
Everytime a girls talks to him, he just smiles politely, nods his head but rarely looks them in the eyes. Sometimes you can clearly see how bored he is among all of those girls.
For some reason, I find myself looking at him from afar, everytime something like this happens. He doesn't notice me, maybe because I'm hiding behind a wall or maybe because he doesn't even care about me, but my eyes always follow him. I can see how badly he wants to escape them but is unsuccessful everytime.
...
The lunch break was finally here.
Another girl at the cafeteria was throwing herself on Jungkook. She's definitely pretty, I can give her that. With long legs, long curly hair, slim waist and those eyelashes of hers.
If I was straight, I would definitely like such kind of attention from her. Of course, I could only dream of being straight and to have girls falling at my knees.
But Jungkook? Jungkook doesn't even look at her direction. That same polite half smile is on his face but his eyes are looking through the cafeteria, as if searching for someone.
I watch all of this just couple steps from outside the cafeteria, and I'm left confused. First of all - how can a straight guy not like it when a girl is literally throwing herself on him? Second of all - is that girl really that dumb for not seeing, that Jungkook doesn't give a single fuck about her existence?
Maybe she just doesn't value herself?
I just stand there and look at all of this. I know it's not nice to stare, but I have nothing else to do. Everyone else left with their own personal business.
I decide to walk out to the school's garden and sit on a bench until the bell rings and invites me back to class. Besides - I hoped that this feeling, that was starting to bubble up inside of me, would go away if I breathe some fresh air. It was similar to the anger I feel when I play piano but something was different...
...
Today is Friday which means that classes don't matter to anyone. Not even to the teachers. Some of them just tell us: just do something. Which means - that we can do whatever we want.
They probably also feel exhausted after a whole week of teaching.
That's not a problem to me, thought. We all have things to do. The news that some girl's parents left the town and left her alone in her whole house - spread fast. All around the school.
The girl, herself, didn't say anything and just rolled her eyes everytime anyone asked her about it. She didn't need to confirm anything as everyone already knew that it was true.
Without a doubt, she personality invited Jungkook, another couple of girls, a guy named Mark, but most importantly - Jungkook.
It wasn't hard to guess that the person she wanted to be there the most, was Jungkook.
Oh well, nothing I can do about it.
No one talked about it out loud, but everyone knew. In the evening. At the girl's house.
Of course, I wasn't invited (for obvious reasons). She didn't invite Hoseok either. But what surprised me, was the one and only, Jungkook himself:
"I don't know if I want to go. What do you think?"
I have to admit: I admired him. In secret, of course. The fact that he didn't leave me alone and that he cared about my opinion, made me like him even more.
Anyone else would've just laughed and mocked someone like me. To anyone else my problems would've stayed - my problems.
He's probably still feeling guilty and responsible. Yeah, that's all...
"Do what you want" I shrugged.
"And if you're trying to be at least a bit serious?"
"You were invited"
"Okay, and?"
I shrugged again. Something about this just seemed....off. No one asks things like that. Everyone just chooses where there's more fun.
But I saw that he was completely serious in finding out my decision. He couldn't stay in one place and kept on moving, as if waiting for something.
Waiting for me...
"If you want....I can go with you...?"
"Really?!" His voice was a little too enthusiastic and it made me chuckle.
Hey, at least he tried to cover it up with a cough.
"I mean...really? Well that would be amazing" he got happy again because his beautiful bunny smile made it's way to his face.
...
I got ready, told my mom that I will be spending the night with Jungkook and she didn't even mind. Didn't even ask a lot of questions, like she usually does.
I couldn't wrap my head around it, but...my mom trusted Jungkook with me.
Of course she does. She liked him since the moment she first saw him.
"He's a very nice boy" she told me back then.
Can you even believe that? Just like that?
Usually, she doesn't trust anyone. As soon as she meets someone new, someone who she sees for the first time, cigarettes and drugs pop up in her imagination.
Those are just a couple of examples she thinks of as soon as I introduce someone to her.
She doesn't trust anyone with her son, but she trusts Jungkook, from the moment she meets him.
All I have to say is that I'm leaving with Jungkook, that I will be with Jungkook and she doesn't ask me where and for what.
Is that even possible?
Jungkook was in front of my house before 6pm. I quickly put on my shoes, grabbed my phone, my wallet and almost ran out the door, to meet him.
"When will you be back?" I heard my mom's voice from the kitchen.
I didn't want her to come here and start talking to Jungkook. I could see that Jungkook didn't want that either by the fact that he grabbed my hand and turned around to run (or drag me) towards his motorcycle, which was parked in front of the house.
I quickly shouted back "late!", shut the door and we both ran towards his motorcycle.
He handed me a helmet and smiled before I got the chance to put it on.
"What?" I asked, dumbfounded.
"You look nice" (the pic above) he smiled, put on his helmet and got ready to drive. "Oh and Taehyung?"
"Y-yeah?"
"You look nice without glasses"
I thanked whatever Gods that existed, that he wasn't facing me because I knew that the blush on my face was visible. Even with the sun setting.
I quickly put on my own helmet, got on the motorcycle, behind Jungkook, and hugged his waist tightly.
I could feel him chuckle a little and then heard the engine roaring loudly.
Appearently, the girl lived at the center of the whole city, so we were going past hundreds of cars.
It's Friday after all. Everyone wants to go home quickly and relax. Everyone is in a rush.
And so were we. Jungkook dived between cars like a fish in the ocean.
After we reached the girl's house - the sun had already set and it was dark.
It started to lightly drizzle and I regretted going out in just a t-shirt. I shivered and appearently, Jungkook noticed it.
I turned around to take off my helmet, after getting off his motorcycle, and felt a jacket being placed on my shoulders.
I turned around and saw a smiling Jungkook, with just his t-shirt on.
That little son of a b....
What a cheese ball he is...
Jungkook parked the motorcycle in front of the house and turned around to tell me something but he didn't get the chance as we heard a girl shout:
"Jungkook!" her voice was full of happiness and Jungkook turned to look at her. I could see that fake polite smile he gave to every girl he met.
The girl however, was trying hard not to jump in his arms and never let go. It was like she didn't even notice me.
The air inside the house was stuffy. The music was playing loudly and someone was definitely smoking weed.
Two or three girls were sitting on the couch and smoking cigarettes. They looked at us with unimpressed stares.
One of the girl's was wearing a leather jacket. The other one - a mini skirt.
Bottles of beer, champagne and the best of the best whiskey (I knew that because my father liked such kind) decorated the kitchen table.
Well, they're definitely getting the party started
The girl disappeared in an instant, in the clouds of cigarette and weed smoke, after walking inside.
Of course she's already high. Maybe taken a couple hits of weed or something else.
Me and Jungkook were left alone. In places like these you firstly have to look around, get used to the atmosphere, get to know the people and to understand how to get mixed in. After that - everything flows smoothly.
The bad (or maybe the good) part was that....we didn't get the time to do so.
As soon, as we sat down on the couch, a girl popped out if nowhere and gave me the biggest heart attack of my whole life.
"Hi, my name is Sana"
After all, there are people who can look more like a freak than a human.
Bright red nail polish and lipstick - is a human named Sana? Leather pants, a crop top and a black hair nest on the top of her head - is Sana? People like that scare you more than attract you.
"Wanna get the fuck out of here?" Jungkook whispered in my ear.
"Yes, please"
We both quickly got up and basically ran out of the door, down the front yard - into the night.
We inhaled the night's fresh air. The wind was blowing, The nights were getting colder but the humidity and the cold raindrops were refreshing.
I zipped up Jungkook's jacket all the way up meanwhile Jungkook got on his motorcycle. He put on his helmet and I did the same.
Without wasting anymore time, I got on the motorcycle as well and hugged Jungkook's waist tightly.
He turned the keys and the engine started roaring once again, while me sped off into the night.
I had never experienced riding on a motorcycle at night before. The wind was blowing past my ears and it seemed like invisible tree leafs were hitting you in the face. Like someone from the past or from a different world tried to make an appearance. And I'm here, on earth, living my own life and riding on a motorcycle at night. Through time itself.
That feeling made my stomach twist in the best ways possible.
That night, it seemed like I flew away from earth. Far, far away. The night's sky hid me away from all the troubles in life, like a cloak.
I was travelling somewhere far, far away, alone. No one would be able to find me...
Wait, no. I wasn't alone.
Jungkook was right there, travelling with me. His cologne from his jacket was also with me. His leg muscles and those hands, who were gripping the wheel, were mine. All of that was mine and only mine.
All of this and all of him, was my life.
The kind of life I always dreamed of...
I closed my eyes and tightened my grip around his waist, while resting my head on his back.
Jungkook could orient well in the dark so I trusted him. I was calm.
I felt every turn we took. Our bodies swaying to sides, rhythmically. Everything felt so right and then I heard music. The most amazing kind of music. But it wasn't just any kind of music. Oh no, no, no.
This time - a piano wasn't playing.
This time - my heart was playing.
And it was singing too. Singing like it had never sung before.
It was my life's, my youth's music. It was also Jungkook's.
I was so gratetull for him.
Fuck!
I was SO, SO gratefully for him!
After some time, we stopped at a fast food restaurant. Got ourselves something to eat. The typical - fries, soda and a couple of burgers. Then - we were off again.
We decided to stop at the cinema. The building was newly built. Finished just a year ago.
Jungkook parked the motorcycle in the parking lot and we walked up the stairs to the roof. We let our feet dangle off the edge, as we sat down next to each other.
The wind was blowing and messing up our hair.
From here, you could freely watch the city below your feet. The street and the night's sky which was just above you.
"Well that was one hell of a Sana..." Jungkook said, sarcastically. He tried to joke around and I was thankful to him for that.
"Yeah..." I also smiled and looked at the city.
A strange, funny atmosphere surrounded us. We both started eating our fries. At first we were just chuckling, but soon enough - laughter followed.
Below our feet, the street was dimly lit and cars were passing by but me and Jungkook just continued to laugh our hearts out.
His laugh was addicting and like music to my ears.
We felt like Gods. We felt free.
This was freedom.
Finally, I also got a taste of it.
That moment I will treasure forever. It is a precious memory of mine and it will stay like that, even though it didn't last for long.
Then, out of nowhere, I remembered the money and my parents. All the laughter stopped and I didn't feel any joy from before.
"I'm afraid of a lot of things..." I whispered, feeling like shit.
"Me too" Jungkook confessed.
"You?!" My eyes widened.
He was bluffing. Or maybe he was just trying to appeal to me.
Jungkook isn't afraid of anything. It's impossible!
"What?" He looked at me. "Do you think that, I am not? I don't know how I will live my life, I don't know who I will become...and I fear for no reason. I'm afraid of people, because I don't know if I can trust them. I'm even afraid of my uncle and aunt. I feel unwanted there all the time, which means - that I'm afraid to live. Sometimes I even want to run away from home"
Jungkook went silent. I sat there and looked at him, shocked. For a second, I even thought that I was saying all of that, and not the brave Jungkook that I know.
Everything was so similar, so shockingly similar!
Does someone actually think the same as me?
There's no two people, that are the same.
There's no thoughts, that are the same.
There can't be...
"How about you? Do you hate anything?"
"Hate?" I answered, still in shock.
"Well, yeah. Something that pisses you off so much that you feel like hitting your head against a wall, but you can't"
"I hate the piano" I whisper back.
"Piano?" Now it was his turn to be surprised. "What piano?"
"The piano and that's all. I don't want to play it. I hate myself for playing it. Wait, no. Correction - I hate the fact, that I do everything my mom tells me to. I hate it!"
Jungkook stayed silent. He took one soda can and opened it. Then - a second one and handed it to me.
I was shaking.
I was shaking from anger that was bottled up inside of me for many, many years.
Or maybe the night and the fresh air were at fault here?
"Why do you play the piano?" Jungkook suddenly asked.
"What do you mean 'why?' " even I got surprised. "Because...well... because mom... because I have to...do you understand?"
"I don't understand" Jungkook cut of my stuttering. His hand ran through his dark black hair and his eyes closed, warm air escaping past his lips. "I don't understand why you're playing the piano, when you don't want to? You don't have to"
My mouth fell open.
Wait...really...why DO I play the piano if I don't want to?
Why?
And why did no one tell me that until now?
I just looked at him, at loss of words.
"Still, your life is good. You have parents" he exhaled, once more.
"You also do"
"Yeah, but I live alone...relatives - aren't parents. Sometimes I feel restrained...you feel like the third wheel, ya know? And my parents are far away. Mom is working. Dad also. My only brother is also there. He's still little, so they took him overseas...he'll start school there. And I have to finish school here. It's better this way..."
"It's not so fun with parents either..." I answered. "Life is fucked up. You have to be grateful for everything. I just want to live my own, personal life"
"Me too"
"But we can't..."
That's right, we can't" Jungkook agreed. "And when we will have the freedom to live, we won't want that anymore. We won't have time"
"A fucked up life..."
Jungkook stood up and I just looked at him. He threw the empty can of soda to the ground and stepped on it. It was crushed like a pancake.
He took out his phone and played some music.
I looked at him confused and he just stretched out his hand towards me.
"May I have this dance" he smiled.
I chuckled and he helped me stand up.
We swayed to the sides, my hands on his shoulders, and his hands on my waist. My head also rested on his chest.
The slow music made the night somewhat more alive. More magical. More....romantic.
"Sometimes this strange feeling takes over me...This feeling of happiness and freedom. At moments like these I just want to enjoy life. I want to live!" I lifted my head up and looked him in the eyes. They were full of fire. Full of passion. "Then, I just don't think. Nothing is important to me anymore. It just plays throughout my whole body, like a melody. Do you understand?"
"I understand..."
Only the slow music was playing as we looked in each other's eyes. It had stopped raining.
"Taehyung..."
"Yeah?"
"I'm sorry"
And then his lips touched mine.