(trigger warning: harassment and assault)
-
"WAR?" you asked in disbelief, looking up from your sketchbook to face your rigid housemate. "You've barely been resting at home for the past three months and Marley's already planning to send you to another war?"
Zeke shrugged as he lightly tossed the baseball between his hands. "I'm afraid so, Y/N. The Paradis Island Operation was only half successful—we might have retrieved you, but the Founding Titan is still on that island. The Colossal Titan and the Female Titan too."
"Annie Leonhart and Bertholt Hoover," you said, recounting the names of the Warriors they had left behind. "Losing them and their Titans was a very heavy price to pay just for the sake of some random girl. And now the motherland is heading to war and you guys are going to fight."
The plank floor of the Jaeger clinic rumbled as Zeke slowly dragged a wooden chair over to your study table, where multiple old journals and thick books that Dr. Jaeger had lent you were spread open across the desk beside the window. Outside, you could see the residents of the internment zone as they walked through the street and went on about their day, some with newspapers in hand. Every now and then, a car would pass by, and the loud sound of their engines would distract you from your work.
Earlier, before Zeke had so rudely barged into the empty clinic to tell you he was returning to war, you had been doing things to pass the time — reading his many medical books and playing around with the many instruments that you found. Eventually you had gotten tired of nosing around like a little kid and sat down to try your hand at drawing in a sketchbook that Zeke never used.
A bright young woman's face was constantly on your mind. She had light ginger hair that touched her soldiers and amber-colored eyes. The image of her face flashed in your brain like a faraway memory, and the fact that you couldn't name her frustrated you to no end. So you had done your best to draw her face down on paper before you could forget.
Zeke pushed his chair right beside your desk and peered at the sketchbook where you had been practicing your sketching skills. "New hobby? I didn't know you liked to draw."
"I've read every single book on your shelf," you deadpanned, snapping the sketchbook shut to hide your crappy sketches from Zeke. "Dr. Jaeger's medical books too. I think I'm going to end up working as a medic in the local hospital in the meantime. There's only so much information my brain can store at once."
"Sketching, reading books, and becoming a medic. Aren't you a talented girl?"
"Very funny," you said, folding your arms at the man sitting next to you. "I'm trying to put myself out here so I can find my place in this world."
"Your place in this world," Zeke repeated, looking thoughtful. "I guess the memory loss is as present as ever. Have you got a clue as to where you belong?"
You hesitated before answering. "Marley."
"You don't sound sure, Y/N."
"I am sure," you said defensively. "My ancestors came from Marley and I was brought right back to Marley. I just happened to have taken a quick detour to Paradis Island."
"Marley wants you to be there for when they take control of the Founding Titan because you're of L/N descent," said Zeke. "That'll still be in the far future, when the war against the Mid-East Allies blows over."
What a dangerous world, you thought. Humanity fighting each other? Unheard of.
"In the meantime, you're just expected to get along with the Warriors as you'll be working with them soon," he reminded you. "The Warrior candidates too, since they're most likely going to be the Warriors by the time Marley has the Founding Titan."
The idea that Zeke and Pieck were both going to be gone in a few years didn't excite you.
You frowned as you turned away from Zeke to gaze at the numerous books laid out on the desk. "I still don't understand why Marley wants to take such good care of me when I'm an Eldian. We're all lumped here in this internment zone because they see us as warfare weapons. Isn't that right?"
"Y/N..."
"They're keeping us Eldians caged in like we're wild animals, which isn't even the case. It's not our fault we were born. They don't have the right to treat us like that at all—"
"Keep your voice down," said Zeke calmly. "Not in this room."
You let your hair fall to your face so that it covered your stony expression from his eyes. "Sorry."
The air had turned awkward. You quietly arranged your desk, pretending like his words didn't bother you. You had painfully found out early on that no matter how kind the members of the Warrior Unit were to you, or how useful you were going to be, it was never going to end the prejudice Marley carried for the Eldians. The red armband you wore on your left forearm made little difference to the hate they carried for Subjects of Ymir.
The first negative encounter you had with Marley had happened a few weeks ago, when you went with Zeke to buy more of the sweet doughnuts you had tasted when you first arrived in Liberio.
A FEW WEEKS AGO
"Good, the gates are open at this hour," Zeke noticed as the two of you walked towards the entrance to Liberio. "The doughnuts I bought you can only be found in a bakery outside the internment zone. The Eldians with permits to go outside here like to buy from this popular store."
Both of you were wearing the same clothes you had worn when you arrived to Liberio a few weeks ago, only you had changed your upper clothes so that you were wearing a short-sleeved collared shirt and a dark trench coat that was a hand-me-down from Zeke's grandmother. Time flew in Liberio, and your birthday was in a few weeks. If only you knew how lucky you were to be reaching your next birthday.
"If it's so popular among the Eldians, shouldn't the store owner just sell them inside Liberio?" you asked, looking up at Zeke as you neared the gates. "It would be better for business, don't you think? Then everyone can be happy."
"Well, there are two reasons as to why that can't happen."
"Oh? What are they?"
"The Eldians are poor and nobody wants to open shop in the home of devil's blood. The people of Marley don't think we deserve to enjoy sweets on a daily basis, you see."
"But—But that's a ridiculous reason!" you argued, putting your cold hands inside the pockets of your coat. The temperature of the air seemed to have dropped by a few degrees. "It's just food, why should they deprive the others of that?"
Zeke clicked his tongue. "Well, that's the atonement we have to pay for the sins of our Eldian Empire ancestors. We took away their lives, so they take away our little joys in life as punishment. This is what life is like for regular Eldians."
"But that's—" you began again, before Zeke suddenly held up a hand to stop you. The pair of you had arrived to the open gates of Liberio where a long line of Eldians with white armbands were waiting for their turn at the security checkpoint. You understood why—it was not encouraged to question Marley in front of the Public Security Authorities.
You wanted to hide behind Zeke while you passed by the guards, but before you could side-step behind him, he stopped you and had you stand right by his side so that your red armband could be clearly seen.
"Don't act nervous," he said to you as the pair of you walked on towards the gate. "They might think that you're hiding something."
The PSA uniform consisted of a soft edge peaked cap with a leather visor, a trench coat, a leather belt, a shirt worn with a black tie, and a pair of leather jackboots. The gate troopers were armed with modern small-arm weaponry like bolt-action rifles and revolvers. You knew you had to get used to the sight of them, but the idea that they were walking around to keep the Eldians in check was unnerving.
The regular Eldians in line turned to gaze at you and Zeke as the two of you skipped the queue to head outside Liberio. You could practically feel their envious eyes burning into the back of your outfit, and you also couldn't help but feel guilty about openly exercising your rights as Honorary Marleyans in front of the less fortunate.
You weren't a Warrior—you didn't spend your childhood days training in the heavy rain to be awarded the grand title of Honorary Marleyan. The only reason you had been given the red armband was because you were born into a bloodline that was important for Marley's plans to gain the Founding Titan.
It amazed you how unbelievably lucky you were that you had been birthed into such a family while others pulled the short end of the stick of a boring life in Liberio. When you went past the gate, the only thing you could feel was wary at the presence of the gate troopers.
"Hold it there, Boy Wonder."
You and Zeke looked over your shoulders to see two tall, burly PSA guards walking up to you and beckoning the two of you over. Balding middle-aged men with black hair and wrinkle lines appearing on the creases of their saggy faces—they were very similar looking, if it weren't for the mustache above one of their mouths.
Zeke stopped walking and glanced at you for a quick second before strolling over to them. You followed him, crossing your arms across your body as if to shield yourself.
"Officers Muller and Becker," Zeke greeted. "Both of the PSA. To what do we owe to this fine conversation?"
"Zeke Jaeger, back already from the land of the devils, eh?" asked the one with the mustache. You read the grey name tag pinned above his heart — Becker. "Must have been a good experience seeing the demons in action. Sure it must have served as a reminder as to what you Eldians really are."
"And would ya take a look at this, Becker, he brought back a demon with him!" the other one, Muller, said gleefully. "Man, they'll have a good time with this one. Looks like she's about the ripe age, too. All we need is that damn Founding Titan."
"This girl is under Marley's care," said Zeke, putting a protective hand on your shoulder. "Were you not informed?"
Becker and Muller ignored him and looked down as they took heavy steps towards you, causing you to releasing yourself from Zeke's grip and squeak out in fear. The two guards had wide, malicious smirks on their faces, pleased that they had successfully managed to intimidate you with mere actions alone. It made them feel powerful.
"Well, you're a pretty little thing, aren't ya?" mused Muller, looking you up and down and judging your appearance. "How old are ya, girl?"
"It's—It's my birthday in a few weeks," you replied stiffly. "That's all."
"Birthday, huh? Excellent. You still a minor?" he asked. "No wonder they can't touch you just yet. It's such a waste that you're Eldian... but I guess it'll have to wait for two or three years, probably by Year 854. Shame, you look like an adult woman already."
"Excuse me?" you exclaimed, taken aback.
"I've never heard words more true, Muller," Becker said, crossing his arms and eyeing you in the same manner the other had. "The body underneath that coat seems to be well-built, but I do think the face could look a little better."
Are they talking about me?
"Nah, this girl is still fresh meat," Muller muttered. "Virgins, honestly—she's a teenager, what do you expect? But I suppose there is something in those eyes of hers that makes her look older than she really is."
"That's probably the effect of living among the devils," sniffed Becker. "It must suck the life outta you. Well, she looks plenty adult enough to me. Magath, honestly — wanting to wait till she's of age to proceed with Marley's plans. They should just get it over with, they can make more if they start early on."
What on earth is he talking about?
Becker suddenly grabbed your coat sleeve and pulled it down to reveal your shoulder, ignoring the gasp that escaped your lips. He wrinkled his nose at a flaw on your bare forearm. "Eugh, look at this large scar on her forearm. It's unsightly."
"That's enough," Zeke interrupted sharply, moving forward to stop them. "Hands off her, she's an Honorary Marleyan—"
"It looks like a deep bullet wound!" Muller sneered, ignoring Zeke. "That blemish won't do. I prefer my women with smooth porcelain skin, not gashes like that."
"Exactly, it's no fun when they're all course and sand-like," said Becker, running his thumb over your scar. "It's disgusting when you touch them and it feels rough."
"It makes them seem like elderly hags—like they got scratched by something in the wild," Muller tutted, making you tense up. "The scar makes her look like some sort of brute creature. Well, she is an Eldian, so I'm not surprised that she resembles an animal somewhere here."
You felt your chest tighten. To say you were insulted was an understatement. Is this what the Marleyans thought of you?
"Me? An animal?" you demanded. "Where did that come from?"
"Eh? You're an Eldian," Becker sniffed, still keeping his rough hand squeezed on your bare shoulder. "I don't give a damn if you've got a red armband on. The fact you can turn into a Titan is enough proof for me."
"Get away from her," Zeke began crossly, only to get lightly pushed back by Muller, who was grumbling something about fake Marleyans ruining the land.
"Let this experience be a good lesson to you, young lady," Becker continued, the grip on your shoulder still firm. "Every female, especially you, should properly care for and fix the flaws on their bodies, otherwise your partners will never be satisfied. If you keep this up, you'll be a laughingstock among men when they get drunk at the bar, and no one will ever want to marry you."
"Officer Becker! Of course there'll be some desperate Eldian man willing to marry this girl, even if she's a native of that island," said Muller snidely. "You better pray whoever's going to knock you up is a good-looking tot, because if the next L/N girl ends up with an even worse pool of genes than yours then I suppose that—"
"Enough," you snarled as your underground instincts kicked in.
Firmly placing your hand above Becker's palm on your shoulder, you clenched your fist around it and squeezed as hard as you could, maintaining a stoic expression on your face as his eyes widened at you. The triceps of your bare arm flexed as you maintain your iron grip.
The old man yelped out in pain as a loud cracking sound resonated from the inside of his fingers within your grasp, and began tugging desperately before you let him go. He immediately pulled his hand away from you and examined the swelling skin that was turning purple with ugly splotches of veiny reds and mustard yellows on the insides.
You had crushed every last one of his phalanges with a single bare hand.
Zeke and Muller both gaped at you in utter shock. You knew you were going to regret the intrepid action, but you allowed yourself a tiny sense of satisfaction over the little victory as Becker's fuming face grew purple with fury.
"I'm very sorry, sir," you said coolly, daring to look him straight in the eye. "But I don't like it when an animal's skin is on my body either."
There were a few gasps from the wide-eyed onlookers that had been watching the scene. In your peripheral vision you saw Zeke wince. The two gate troopers looked down at you with deep resentment in their eyes, and it dawned on you that you had done something considered out of bounds.
"Why you—you truly are a she-devil!" Becker exclaimed as he clutch his now-broken hand. His eyes looked like they were going to pop out of their sockets. "I can't wait till they toss you back to the depths of hell! Just wait till they've all had you whored over!"
What did he just say? Whored over?
You opened your mouth to defend yourself, but a violent uppercut to your jaw suddenly knocked your head to the side.
Officer Muller had forcibly sent a hard straight punch at your face and sent you toppling backwards headfirst. Your vision was temporarily blinded with jockey white circles as the saliva in your mouth hit the back of your dry throat, causing you to hack and choke out.
The sudden pain burned all the way to the inner bones of your jaw, and one hand flew to your face to cup it as the other found Zeke's arm to support yourself standing upright. An unattractive blue bump was starting to swelter on the lower portion of your head, and you could quite literally feel every single one of your inner mandibles screaming out within the intensive stings.
"Foolish wench," spat Muller, glaring at you. "Do you feel accomplished now? I don't think you quite understand how we do things in Marley yet. Learn your place in this world — all of you Eldian devils were mistakes. The earth would be a better place without your people ruining it!"
A good number of the Eldians that had been lining up to exit the gates had mysteriously disappeared, retreating to the false safety of their homes in fear that they would get sucker-punched next. Those that remained had terrified looks on their faces as they watched you cheep in pain. You could hear their whispers:
"What a dumb woman... she was asking for it..."
"How shameful, she's an Honorary Marleyan, too, yet she's behaving so carelessly..."
"What do you think the punishment for this is going to be? I bet they'll send her to work at some brothel..."
"Y/N," Zeke whispered to you, looking concerned for the sweltering that was starting to appear on your jaw. "Let's go home."
"That's right, scurry right back to the internment zone," hissed Becker, his crushed hand now inflating into a large balloon of maroon skin. "That's the only kind of civilization monsters like you belong in. A ghetto for slaves."
Zeke was now pulling your arm to tug you back into Liberio, but you didn't budge.
Hot tears were stinging in your eyes — not only from the ache that was streaking throughout the side of your face, but with anger and hatred for these two men and for the foul injustices of Marley against the Eldian people as well.
If these two men had wanted the experience to teach you a lesson, they had taught you that you were not the monstrous devil here.
If someone hurts me, I won't hesitate to hurt them back.
"You're wrong," you said to them shakily, trembling with rage. " Do you want to know why I think that, sir?"
Zeke tried to pull you again. "Y/N, just stop—"
Whatever initial fear you had of these men wore off to be replaced by a newfound feeling of bravery. The doubt you had for yourself melted like ice, and the aching desire to stand up for yourself and justify your actions began to rise from the ashes.
You were still trembling as you balled your fists and prepared yourself for a brawl. A voice inside your head was telling you to fight.
"Because I was born into this world!"
Before you could swing your fists at them, Zeke forcefully grabbed your arm and began to drag you home.
Was it bravery or recklessness?
By the time Mrs. Jaeger was placing an ice pack to the bruise that had appeared on your jaw at the house, Zeke and Dr. Jaeger were already speaking to another set of PSA guards that had been sent by Becker and Muller to pay a visit to the Jaeger household. The guards' eyes glazed over you with contempt before turning towards the two other men sitting across them at the kitchen table.
"The girl's behavior is only excused because she's an L/N," one of them barked out. "If she weren't an Honorary Marleyan, she would have undergone a more serious form of discipline. You all understand the situation, don't you?"
"She was not aware of the consequences," Zeke said, wearing a grave expression. "She has only moved to Marley a few months ago. And she has injuries in her head from when we retrieved her from Paradis, which may have caused her to act rashly."
"Pfft, what did we expect, giving a devil of the Walls a red armband?" muttered the other guard. "Breaking Becker's hand like that... she's a very lucky one, she should be thankful to Marley for letting her live the easy life."
Getting harassed by middle-aged men is the easy life?!
You grit your teeth as Mrs. Jaeger put a hand over yours, the burning pain that had been pestering your lower face finally starting to numb thanks to the cold ice pack. She had been tending to your bruise while you sat in a chair that had been pushed against the kitchen wall, listening to the conversation between the guards and the Jaegers.
"Yes, sirs, don't worry, we'll make sure that she understands that," Mr. Jaeger reassured them, wringing his hands nervously. "I—I'm sure that Y/N is a smart girl, you won't have to hear about her causing an accident in Liberio."
"Don't forget about what happened with your own spawn, Jaeger," one guard said. "You don't want a repetition of what happened with your son and daughter-in-law... sent to heaven and running around as Pure Titans. Such ideals might be linked to you."
Dr. Jaeger froze, the color seeping out of his face the moment the guard mentioned Zeke's parents. It was the first time you had heard about what happened to them — sent to heaven. You were curious as to what their crimes were, but you knew that now was not a good time to ask.
It made you shiver with fear knowing that they must have been on that island at the same time as you were.
Guilt flooded you once you saw the pessimistic faces of the Jaeger family. They had been so kind to you, and just what did you repay them with? A warning from the Public Security Authorities and an insulting blow to their dignity. You were absolutely ashamed of yourself.
"If I may kindly speak," Zeke interjected, all eyes turning to him. "Y/N L/N is under the watch of the Marleyan military, specifically the Warrior Unit, which I am the captain of and with whom she is expected to work with. She is an Honorary Marleyan, meaning that she should be allowed to enjoy the same rights as the people of Marley, not the Eldians.
"If you know about the plans Marley has for her, then you must also know that it is against the law for members of the Public Security Authorities to be making inappropriate advances towards her. Is that not a punishable offense?"
The two guards tensed up. You stared at Zeke for so boldly reminding them of the law. Zeke looked at the PSA guards with a calm expression, resting his hands on top of the wooden dining table. This clearly was not the conversation the guards had been expecting — they thought that Zeke would have backed down without a fight.
"Ignorantia juris non excusat," Zeke recited. "'The law excuses no one.' General Calvi and Commander Magath won't be pleased to hear that two rookie PSA guards have been causing stress to Y/N L/N."
Everyone had gone quiet. You could hear your heartbeat hammering in your chest as Zeke defiantly raised an eyebrow at them. You had no idea what exactly Marley's plans for you were just yet — they had told you that you were to engage with the Founding Titan once it was in Marley, but the idea that the superior officers might punish their subordinates for causing harm to you, an Eldian, hadn't crossed your mind.
"We'll look into it," a guard finally said. "Right after Becker's hand is healed."
You could tell that none of this had gone in PSA favor. It sent chills down your spine thinking about what might have been the outcome if Marley's civil code didn't protect you. With no further orders, the guards gave the household one last curt nod before leaving.
Once Zeke had locked the door behind them, Mr. and Mrs. Jaeger immediately went up to you and began retelling the laws of Marley and the history of the Eldians. They explained why many PSA guards were intolerant of Liberio, but whatever they said to you didn't process in your head as you stared at Zeke, who had taken off his glasses and was now massaging his temples.
Now, in present day, you were trying to live as humbly as possible before you could humiliate yourself any more. Throwing yourself into time-consuming hobbies such as reading, learning how to sketch, and studying medicine to be of use to the Warriors somehow. It was expected of you to get along with them as Zeke was in charge of you, and you were one day going to help them control the Founding Titan.
"Y/N," Zeke said, shaking you from your thoughts. You pulled out of the flashback to see that you were still sitting by your study desk beside him, the medical textbooks stacked on the table and your sketchbook in hand. "What are you thinking about?"
You unconsciously rubbed over the shoulder with the bullet wound scar. "Nothing."
"What happened a few weeks ago is still bothering you," he guessed. "You don't know whether you can trust Marley or not."
You hummed as you flipped through the textbook. "I was just thinking about those guards."
Zeke sighed. "Look, you weren't in the wrong for reacting like that, and I know that I failed to get them off you. But you need to learn how to withstand it, alright? The Public Security Authorities aren't allowed to touch you. The Warrior Unit will make sure of that from now on."
"Alright," you replied. "I won't go yelling at guards anymore. When does my time with the Warrior Unit start, anyway?"
"Soon, in a few weeks once everyone's recovered," said Zeke. "If it makes you feel better, Marley is calling for more medics since we're heading to war in a few months. You can help my grandpa out at the local hospital to care for the wounded."
That idea sparked interest in you. "I think I'll take up that offer. Anything else you want to ask me?"
"There is actually," said Zeke. "Won't you show me what's in that sketchbook of yours?"
You slowly opened the sketchbook and cringed as Zeke peered over the your drawing of the woman in your mind, very aware of how bad your skills were. Still, he nodded approvingly.
"Pretty woman," he said. "What's her name?"
Suddenly, an idea of what this woman's name was popped into your head. It was as if you had met her before, like you had made up an entire world in your imagination where this woman worked alongside you in a team whose purpose you've forgotten long ago.
"Her name is Petra," you answered. "I like to think that she was my comrade."
And for some reason, the thought of this fictional woman made you feel a little less lonely.
-
"OUR NEWEST MEMBER IS HERE!" Pieck greeted cheerfully, waving as you and Zeke approached the entrance gate to the Warrior headquarters. It was a three-walled brick building lined with open-space corridors, private offices situated inside for the members of the Warrior Unit. In the middle of the quadrangle was a training ground where a few of the children with yellow armbands were practicing to spar with the older members.
Supervising them was an older man with light eyes and a thin beard, mustache, and black hair with a short buzz cut. There was a badge pinned to on his shirt above his chest, and you could faintly make out the words Commander Magath on it. You recognized the name from Zeke's threat to the PSA guards.
That must be the commander of the Warriors, you realized. This Commander Magath man.
The brunette girl who greeted Reiner at the gate, who you recognized as Gabi, was going against a small boy with light brown hair. He struggled as he attempted to swipe at her, but she successfully pushed him onto the ground.
"Go, Gabi!" one blonde child said, clapping her hands together. "You're doing amazing!"
"Falco, get up!" Magath said impatiently, crossing his arms as he gazed at the little boy. "Come on, build your stamina early! You'll never inherit any Titan at this rate!"
It disturbed you how young they were. The eldest of the bunch didn't look older than fourteen, and the younger ones didn't look older than ten.
When Pieck greeted you, the children went silent and gaped at you with wide eyes. Watching from the railings of the corridors were the rest of the Warriors, including Reiner and the broad man with the blonde undercut whom you saw when you first entered Liberio. When you emerged from behind Zeke, his eyes glossed over you before returning to a scowl, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his dark green jacket.
"She's been shadowing my grandpa in the hospital for about two weeks now," Zeke said proudly. "I heard from him that the Eldian soldiers are fond of having her to nurse them back to health."
"That is so not true!" you exclaimed, face flushing as Pieck began to laugh. Reiner raised his eyebrows at you but didn't say anything.
"Y/N, have you met Porco Galliard yet?" asked Pieck, dragging the man with the undercut from the open corridor and ignoring his protests. "He's Marley's new holder of the Jaw Titan. Isn't that right, Pock?"
"It'll be his first time engaging in war as a Titan," said Zeke. "The Jaws is known for assault and is the fastest Titan out of the Nine. Pretty fitting for Pock."
"Don't call me that," huffed Porco, rolling his eyes at them before turning to you and removing a hand from his pocket to shake yours. "Hello, Y/N."
"Hello," you said quietly, feeling bashful of his eyes on yours as you shook his hand. "Nice to meet you."
"You too," he said casually, letting go and mimicking the way you put your hands in your pockets.
"Well, now that you've met Porco, we must introduce you to our future Warriors," said Zeke, gesturing towards the children who were now standing to attention, raising their right palms up in a salute for their superiors.
A tall boy with a long face, light hazel eyes and short blond hair was the oldest of the pack. He seemed to be a few years younger than you, but not very far away in age. He gave you a half-smile and a wave.
"This here is Colt Grice," said Zeke. "I believe he's destined to inherit the Beast Titan soon when my term is up. You should be friends with him, he can be your replacement for me once I hand over the power since he's going to inherit my memories."
You smiled at Colt, trying your best to not picture him as the Pure Titan that was going to devour Zeke in a few years.
"Then there's Gabi Braun, who you've seen at the gates, Falco Grice — Colt's little brother — then Zofia, and Udo."
The five kids began chirping out "hello"s and "nice to meet you!"s, determined to steal the spotlight and wind up the center of your attention. You had a tendency to be well-liked by children. Or maybe it was just because they had been told that you were going to work with them once Marley retook the Founding Titan.
"Hi!" you greeted brightly, a sudden change from your timid persona with Porco earlier. "It's nice to meet you guys, my name is Y/N L/N!"
The Warriors looked surprised with the sudden change in personality, but Zeke and Pieck quickly dismissed it as you being friendly with children. Reiner and Porco on the other hand looked taken aback that you had reverted to the lively Y/N that once was.
"Oh, we know," Zofia said hushedly. "You're all the talk among the military."
"Yeah! You're the girl they brought back from Paradis!" added Udo, excited. "The mission was half-successful because you came home to Marley!"
"Yeah, I'll be with the Warrior Unit once Marley takes Founding Titan," you said, abandoning Zeke to walk up to the children standing in a line. "But I'm stagnant for now, so all I can do is learn how to be a somewhat-Warrior like you guys and a medic to help out."
"Oh, so you'll be working with us?" Colt asked interestedly. "Cool! We need a good medic during training who can patch Falco up every time Gabi kicks his ass."
"Watch your language, kid," Porco warned, making Colt shrug and grin at the older boy.
"Today's my first day practicing on my own," you said, holding up the medical kit you had been bringing with you. "Zeke said it's a training day for you today."
-
"GABI! WATCH YOUR STRENGTH!"
"It's not my fault that Falco is weaker than I am," Gabi complained, folding her arms as Falco lay groaning on the ground beneath her. "How is it my problem that he can't beat me in a fight?"
"I'm not saying this for Falco, I'm saying this because you keep sending him back to Miss L/N," said Magath. "Her supplies will deplete thanks to you."
"It's nothing, Commander," you said as you kneeled down beside Falco to put another dose of antibacterial ointment on his poor arm. "Falco, are you okay? Maybe you should take a break... or change partners."
You've been paying regular visits to the Warrior headquarters for the past two weeks — everyone encouraged you to get along with the unit, especially the young Warrior candidates. Your role usually consisted of watching them train, and sometimes the Warriors would come out of their offices during their free time to watch with you. You made small talk with Porco and Reiner here and there, but you remained friendly with Pieck. Zeke was oftentimes busy in his own office, so you only ever saw him when you'd walk to headquarters together, at lunch, or going home.
To make yourself feel less bad about being pretty much useless hanging around there, you volunteered to serve as a medic for the Warrior candidates while they trained, and Commander Magath let you. The person who ended up being tended by you the most was Falco, the weakling of the group.
Sometimes, the Warriors had enough free time where all of them could watch the candidates, and today was one of those days.
"Hell no, I'm not fighting Gabi!" Udo exclaimed as he and Zofia paused their session to watch you help their friend. "She's stronger than I am!"
"Ha," Gabi muttered under her breath, a small triumphant smile on her face. The young girl was thrilled about being regarded as the strongest among her fellow Warrior candidates.
"You're amazing," you complimented her, and she seemed to freeze at the sudden praise that slipped through your lips. You wondered if you had flustered her or made her uncomfortable with the comment.
"Gabi, what happened?" asked Falco.
"Oh, I uh—uh," Gabi began to stammer, her body tensing up as she looked at you with wide eyes. "Well, I—I don't really—"
"Spit it out, Gabi," Falco said. "Just say it."
"It's just that—" Gabi whispered. "She—She came from that island."
Everyone else gave each other knowing looks, warily glancing at you to check your reaction. You were taken aback from Gabi's assumption, but you remained calm. After all, she was just a little kid who didn't know any better.
Colt, the big brother, immediately began reprimanding her. "Gabi, you know that Miss Y/N is an Honorary Marleyan, that's levels above us—"
"I know!" Gabi interrupted hurriedly. She looked down, embarrassed. "I've just never met an Eldian who was raised in Paradis before. You know... with all the stories about them."
"Um... what kind of stories?" you asked slowly, putting the bottle of ointment back into your medical bag. "Do you think that I'm the same as the Eldians on Paradis?"
"Gabi, you're so rude!" Falco exclaimed. "Miss Y/N has been helping us!"
"I know, I know!" Gabi yelled, looking guilty now. "I'm sorry, it's just that I can't get used to it at all—Aunt Karina always tells me that the Eldians from there are evil people!"
"Well, get used to it because she's going to be sticking around Marley for a long time," said Zeke. "She is of the L/N bloodline, you know. She's a good Eldian, just like you."
That last sentence seemed to relax Gabi a bit. "A good Eldian. Yeah. I'm really sorry, Miss Y/N."
You smiled at her understandingly. She was just an eight-year-old girl.
"It's okay, I know that the devils on Paradis are bad people," you said gently. "And I can't really blame you for feeling that way. But I don't remember much about them, and I'm starting afresh here in Marley, so I hope that you and I can get along."
"Yeah," Gabi nodded, relieved that you weren't holding a grudge against her. "I think we will."
The training session took a break, and you returned to Falco, who was sitting on a bench by the side of the grounds away from everyone, to check on his light wounds. "Hey, Falco. Are you okay?"
"I can't keep up with her," he said sadly, looking down at his dirty slacks. "Gabi—she's too strong. Out of all us Warrior candidates, she's the best."
"Well, you can always train yourself, right?" you said, trying to cheer him up. "Everyone starts out as a weakling... you know that, don't you?"
Falco grumbled something under his breath before sighing, brushing the ground dust off his shirt. "You're really helpful, Miss Y/N. Your medic duties here have only been for a few days, but so far I think you've been doing really well. When we grow up, the Warriors are gonna be glad to be working with you."
You were flattered by the words of the little boy. "Aw. Thanks, Falco."
"It'll be less lonely for when the current Warriors leave soon too," he added. "To go to the coastal areas where the big battles are gonna take place."
"Marley just loves their wars, huh?" you mused, glancing at the Warriors who were openly conversing with each other, the candidates except for Falco listening in. "I think it's strange how humanity is at each other's throats so much."
Falco looked up at you, puzzled. "What do you mean by that, Miss Y/N?"
"Well," you began, resting your hands on your lap as you sat beside Falco. "Why should we humans fight each other if all wars come to an end? Isn't it you know... pointless?"
"Yeah, I agree," said Falco. "Everything that happens in wars just ends up in some history books for children to fall asleep to while studying. It's not an exciting topic."
You raised a curious eyebrow. "For a young Warrior candidate, you sure seem pretty hesitant to participate in wars."
"Well, I didn't really want to become a Warrior candidate in the first place," Falco admitted to you. "My family only made Colt and I join so that we could atone for the crimes my uncle caused about a decade ago. He was an Eldian Restorationist."
"Oh?"
"Yeah. He was sent to heaven some time ago, I think around the time when Mister Zeke was a young Warrior candidate. It disgraced the Grice family."
Your mouth fell open when you made the connection but you quickly closed it. "I see. So you became a candidate to help your family's status."
"Yeah," said Falco. Then his mouth turned downwards again. "But I dunno if I'll be of any use. My hand-to-hand combat skills are terrible."
A small part inside you couldn't bear to see him so blue. It was almost as if you knew how it felt to get your butt kicked in hand-to-hand combat against someone stronger than you as well.
"Hey Falco," you suddenly said. "I'll train you."
Falco's big eyes widened. "Rea—Really? You know how to fight hand-to-hand? I—I thought you were a medic!"
"I can do both," you said slyly, making Falco laugh in disbelief. "Come on, I'll show you."
You took Falco by the hand and led him to the middle of the training grounds, grabbing the stick the Warriors used to practice disarming each other. The Warrior candidates pointed at the two of you, and the Warriors looked over their shoulders to watch as you showed Falco how to plant his feet firmly on the ground and how to position his arms and fists in an effective power stance that looked familiar to that of a certain fallen Warrior's.
"Hey," Pieck murmured. "Didn't that stance belong to—?"
"That's a new one!" Gabi piped up, watching with great interest. "I've never seen that stance before."
You had no idea how you knew all this information, all the correct positions, but somehow you knew what you were doing. It felt as though you had trained someone to do this before.
"Hands up a little higher, and suck your stomach in a bit to protect your diaphragm," you instructed, guiding Falco around until he got it right. "There! You know where to aim, don't you? Use this position to try and disarm this stick from me."
Reiner's eyes widened at the sight of you getting into fighting position a few feet in front of Falco. He knew exactly what you were capable of, having been trained in that field by both humanity's strongest soldier and the holder of the Female Titan. Falco was going to get flattened.
"Hey, Y/N," he called apprehensively. "Go easy on the kid."
The Warriors were perplexed with the nervous look painted across Reiner's face. Commander Magath, who had been standing by the corridor rail by his office, observed as well. Zeke watched just as much interest as Gabi and the other candidates. "Let's see what our little Y/N is capable of."
"You can do it, Falco!" Colt encouraged his little brother. "You've got the upper hand with everything you've learned!"
"Yeah! Go Falco!" the other candidates began cheering for him. Falco closed his eyes and took a deep breath, determined to gather his confidence and win this one round against you. He was glad that you taught him a better stance, but he was also sure that he could at least succeed in a fight with someone who wasn't Gabi.
Surely the shy, innocent medic wasn't that well-trained in hand-to-hand combat, right?
Wrong.
When Falco charged at you, he was full of blind spots. All you had to do was grab his arms and flip him over his back. Everybody winced at the loud thud that echoed around the quadrangle as the young cadet fell over at your feet. You cringed — apparently young Falco was even weaker than you thought.
"Yikes—sorry, kid," you apologized, helping him stand up to his feet. "I think you're hurt again."
"Are you kidding me? That was so cool!" Falco exclaimed, eyes sparkling at you. "The stance you taught me was new, and you flipped me over like I weighed nothing!"
That's because you do weigh nothing, you thought, but you didn't tell him that.
"Where did you learn that?" he asked you. "In—In Paradis...?"
"I wanna learn too!" Gabi interrupted excitedly, raising her hand. "Teach me next, Miss Y/N!"
"Me too!" said Udo.
"Me three!" added Zofia.
"I wanna try..." Colt muttered, cheeks turning red as he looked down at his shoes. "Can—Can you teach us, Miss Y/N?"
The children except Colt were practically tripping over their feet as they raced towards you, joining Falco in looking up with the most pleading eyes they could muster. Flustered with all the attention on you, you looked up at Commander Magath, who shrugged as if to say if you must.
"Why not?" he asked. "It might be good for our Warrior cadets."
The children cheered in unison, pumping their small fists in the air like they had just scored a large win. Laughter bubbled up in your throat as they began pestering you with a multitude of questions, Colt eventually coming up to join them with a pink dusting his cheeks.
-
BIRTHDAY LUCK WAS ON YOUR SIDE.
You hadn't mentioned anything about your birthday being today to the Warriors, and if Zeke had remembered, he didn't show it as he was mostly busy the whole day. And anyways, there was really no use for you to be celebrating anyway. You had work to do with the Warriors, and you were determined to train the candidates. At the moment, the kid you were responsible for was Gabi Braun.
Despite the immeasurable strength she held when she fought against the other candidates, it looked like child's play whenever you dodged her movements and went for the weak spots of her body with ease as the Warrior candidates learned from your hand-to-hand combat. Gabi was getting frustrated — she was so used to being on top, and now she was getting humbled by someone better at fighting than her.
"Come on, Gabi, get up," you urged her, still in fighting position as the young girl, who had been flipped over and was now on her knees, looked up at you with wide eyes. "You said you wanted to learn how to do this move."
"I did learn the move. I've been practicing this for the past few days," she protested. "It's just that I don't know how to use it against you yet. Are—Are you ever gonna say that I'm done with it yet?"
Her tone was pleading but curious. She was determined to prove herself to you, the only person who was not a Warrior yet had skillfully managed to present a challenge. You looked down at her, noticing the hungry look in her eyes meant to show that she was dying to prove she could be strong.
"I will, Gabi," you said lightly. "When you succeed. Then I'll stop."
The young girl was mystified, totally in awe of you. "Stop? When are you gonna stop?"
You thought about it for a moment.
"When you can beat me."
There it was again. Another achingly familiar feeling that you couldn't understand. If you understood what you were feeling, you would have described the conversation you had with young Gabi Braun as ironic.
Ironic, because you felt like you had once been in Gabi's position with somebody stronger than you about a million times before. Somebody who you had badly wanted to prove your strength to again and again.
"If you weren't an L/N," said Gabi matter-of-factly, standing up and dusting off her clothes. "You'd make a really great Warrior."
"Then I could fight the demons on Paradis," you joked as you put your hands in the pockets of your coat. "Take my revenge for the life of my friend Annie Leonhart and for Bertholt Hoover."
"If you could pick a Titan to inherit, what would you pick? I think you'd do really great with the Armored or the Female," said Gabi. "So you can charge into battle with your hand-to-hand combat skills."
"I don't think I want to inherit anyone's Titan," you said doubtfully. "But if I had to pick a favorite, I'd choose the Jaw Titan."
Gabi cocked her head to the side. "Eh? Why the Jaw?"
"'Cause it's the speediest," you said smugly, ruffling her hair and making her laugh. "I think that speed is an excellent power."
"I did notice that you are really fast," Gabi explained. "But given that information, since you're fast already, wouldn't it be nice to add strength for a good combination too?"
You chuckled and looked up at the open ceiling, where clouds blew in the sky above. "I guess you're right. Well, I don't know. Something about the Armored Titan and the Female Titan doesn't really sit right with me. It feels like—like—"
It feels like I've had bad encounters with them before.
"Like what?" asked Gabi, interested in your opinion as she wanted to inherit the Armored Titan from Reiner.
Your eye fell back to her and you shook your head. "No, it's nothing. I just don't think those Titans are a good fit for me, that's all. But they're still cool."
"When Marley gets back the Founding Titan from Paradis, you'll be working with it!" Gabi continued the conversation. "The whole medic duty of yours can be thrown away and you can start working with us Warriors properly so you can help control the Titans and stuff. Isn't the Founding Titan going to be so cool under Marley's supervision?"
"Actually, I think... I think I'd prefer to work alongside the Attack Titan," you said slowly. Gabi looked up at you with confused eyes again.
"Huh? The Attack Titan has been missing for years, it doesn't belong to Marley's military!"
"I know," you said quickly, holding your hands up like you had just committed a crime. "It's just that — I don't know. It just seems like a cool Titan power, that's all."
"The Armored Titan's much cooler," Gabi insisted before beginning to list down reasons to prove her statement. You simply nodded in agreement with whatever she had to say, feeling a little unsettled that you had so suddenly talked about the Attack Titan.
"Oi, you two, it's time for us to head to lunch," Reiner called, raising a hand to grab your attention. You looked to the side of the office corridors to see that the other candidates were already walking away to the lunch room. "Training can finish later."
"We're coming," you replied. Gabi grinned at you before running off to her friends. That left you and Reiner to walk together behind the group.
It was almost comical how awkward the two of you were with each other. Neither of you were brave enough to leave in fear of looking rude in front of the other person, and you both ended up walking in silence as the Warrior candidates raced ahead of you.
"Gabi's going to be a good Warrior," you spoke to fill in the silence. "You should be proud she's your cousin, Reiner."
"I am," he said stiffly. "And I want to thank you for lending your help to our Warrior candidates. They say they're learning a lot from your combat skills."
"I don't even know where I got them," you chuckled, face flushing as you let out an exhale. "The combat skills, I mean."
"It's almost funny," he mumbled. "Some things really do never change."
"What?"
"You should talk to Shadis about making the wooden knives better, you don't want Annie finding new ways to stick them above your throat. What if he makes you fight against Mikasa, Y/N? After all, you're both tied for the Top One spot—he might make it the deciding factor."
"What are you talking about, Reiner?" you asked, puzzled by the man beside you. "Are you talking about Annie Leonhart?"
"I know that Mikasa's stronger than you, Y/N, and I'm sure you must be worried about that," Reiner continued. "But you're really fast — I know you can do it. You said you wanted Top One, and I'm sure it'll be your title soon."
You were baffled. "Top One of what? Who's Mikas—"
Reiner suddenly grabbed his head as he stared at the floor, looking painfully distressed over the sudden personality changes. You hesitantly put a comforting hand on his broad shoulder to calm him down.
"I think you need a glass of water," you said slowly. "Let's head to lunch."
"Yeah," whispered Reiner hoarsely. "The others are waiting for us."
"Yo, Reiner, stop bothering the medic," called a smooth voice from behind. You turned around to see Porco approaching you. "She's gonna have a field day worrying about your mental health."
"Sorry," Reiner muttered to you before gently shaking off your hand and briskly walking away to join the Warrior candidates ahead of you. Now you were left standing alone with Porco, who shrugged and began walking with you to the lunch room.
"He's never been the same ever since he came back with you from Paradis," he explained. "Reiner's been struggling especially since he came home alone without the other Warriors, including my brother Marcel."
"I'm sorry. Must've been hell on earth on Paradis," you said. "If it really messed him up that badly and caused me to lose my memories during a fight."
Porco glanced at you for a few seconds before looking ahead again. "You don't remember what kind of person you were in Paradis? I saw you through that woman's memories."
"Huh?" your heart rate suddenly increased. "You mean the previous holder of the Jaw Titan?"
"Her name was Ymir, does that ring any bells?" he asked. You shook your head. "She was your friend, or at least your classmate, I think."
"Really? What did you see?"
"A younger version of you," said Porco, his brows furrowing as he did his best to recall Ymir's memories. "Training in hand-to-hand combat with Annie Leonhart. Ymir was watching the two of you from the sidelines."
"That explains how I knew how to fight in hand-to-hand combat, then," you said, awed. "Annie Leonhart taught me how."
"You taught someone too," said Porco. "Can't remember his name. But in Ymir's memory, you walked up to him and asked him if you wanted to train together. It must have been a friend of yours."
"What kind of person was I in her memories?"
"The exact opposite of what you are right now," he answered. "You—well, no offense, but you seemed to be a little full of yourself and thirsty to climb the ranks of your class. That was what Ymir thought of you. You did seem to be a good fighter though."
"Now I'm starting to wonder if I was an annoying person in Paradis," you muttered. "Well, it's too bad all that fighting Annie taught me is useless since I'm not allowed to be sent to war."
Porco shrugged, looking semi-amused. "It's not useless. The things you learned are helping our Warrior candidates, which means you're helping out Marley in a way. Zeke says you'll help us in the future, when you're older."
"I guess so."
Neither of you spoke anymore as you reached the small cafeteria, where a surprise had been waiting for you. The tables had been pushed together to form a large board where an array of meals — a small feast with lots of foods like meat, fish, and even precious sweets — had been spread out in neat little arrangements. Almost everyone grinned at the sight of your wide eyes.
"Happy birthday!" they yelled in unison, the youngsters being the loudest.
"You all remembered," you whispered, covering your mouth with your hand. "And—you're actually celebrating it—? Is this for me?"
"Of course!" Gabi exclaimed. "You might not have been here for years like the rest of us, but you're still part of the Warrior Unit all the same!"
"Yeah! That's true! You're one of us!" the other children chimed in, agreeing to Gabi's words. "Miss Y/N is part of the Warrior Unit!"
You glanced at Porco beside you, who patted you on the shoulder. "Happy birthday, Y/N."
You looked around at everyone, to the excited children sitting on one side of the table, to Pieck, who was walking up to you to give you a tight hug. Behind her was Zeke, who had even taken the liberty of wearing a pink cone-shaped party hat for your amusement, and you found yourself half-laughing, half-choking as if you were about to cry.
Reiner sat silently at the table, unsure as to whether he should tell you that he had been celebrating your birthday with you for the past three years in a different environment. With different people, and as different people yourselves.
"You didn't think we'd forget such a special day, did you?" asked Pieck, smiling at the tears of joy pooling in the corners of your eyes. "Since you're with the Warrior Unit, you're our comrade now. You're part of our little family."
"The fact that you've turned older is very important to us," said Zeke. It was hard to take him seriously with a party hat on his head. "When you're older, you can start serving Marley. But don't worry, we're in no rush. So just enjoy as much of your youth as you can."
"You're twenty-five years old, Zeke," said Pieck reproachfully. "You're acting like a fifty-year-old man. Not surprised with that beard of yours, it really ages you."
Zeke playfully rolled his eyes at her. "Well, it's not like I'm living till I'm fifty, so let me pretend."
"Can we please not talk about your death while we're celebrating this girl's day of birth?" Porco grumbled, shaking his head at his two friends. "Look, Y/N — Zeke and Pieck even bought you lots of sweets from that store outside Liberio because you said you loved them. We aren't entirely broke, thank God."
"Oh," you sighed, overwhelmed. "No one's ever bought me so many sweets before. Aren't they expensive?"
"Not in Marley," Zeke said, pleased with the smile on your face. "We can get as many sweets as we want for our newest comrade."
Comrade. The term felt a bit foreign on your tongue when you associated it with the Warrior Unit, but you ignored it. It was the right word to use: you were going to fight beside these people for Marley once the Founding Titan was within your possession. If there were people you had to trust more than anyone else, it had to be the Warrior Unit. You were a bit suspicious of them before, but they all clearly cared about you as a loved one. A sister-in-arms. A comrade.
Yes, there were bad people in Marley who looked down on you like those PSA guards. But there were good people on your side too; many Eldians in the internment zone like the Warrior Unit and their families. They were your saviors from your torturers in Paradis, the heroes who took you in as one of their own.
Someone handed you a drink which you held up in a celebratory toast for your new friends. "To comrades!"
"To comrades!" the Warrior Unit toasted with you, clapping their hands and cheering after. The air was bright, jokes and quips were traded, the camaraderie among the Warrior Unit making you feel a settling warmth inside as they celebrated your birthday feast.
Maybe Marley wasn't so bad after all.
-
IT WAS RAINING IN PARADIS.
"Happy birthday, comrade," Eren whispered to empty space, sitting on the wooden desk of your cold bedroom alone. "I miss you everyday."