"I can't believe you convinced my dad to let me get her" Lukas grinned as he laid out across the hay in Beau's hay room. A small black and white puppy wagged her tail as she laid on top of his chest. Beau's heart warmed as he watched the two interact with one another.
"Like you said, I'm magic" Beau chuckled. He laid down next to Lukas, resting his head on his stomach since his chest was occupied.
"That you are" Lukas let out a small laugh before running his hand through Beau's hair. "What Andy said had me thinking... What are we?" His voice sounded distant. As if he wasn't even talking to Beau but more himself.
Beau had been dreading this question. Of course, he wanted Lukas to be his boyfriend... Why wouldn't he? But he was afraid Lukas would think otherwise. That Lukas would still be uncertain.
"I don't know about you... But I'm the happiest I've ever been" Beau admitted. "And I'd be happy doing whatever... As long as I'm with you"
"As sweet as that is, that doesn't exactly answer my question" Lukas chuckled. "But I do feel the same... I'm just confused at the moment"
"About what?" Beau felt a lump form in his throat. He didn't want Lukas to be confused about his feelings toward him. He didn't want Lukas to be uncertain now only to figure out down the road that he never liked him to begin with. That would just be heartbreaking.
"Faith" Lukas admitted. "You know my dad's always been very... Vocal about this stuff. I grew up believing it was wrong and that I should save people like me because that's what God wanted. And then I started to suspect you and I did a ton of research on the difference in opinion..." Lukas admitted. "I don't think God would be as cruel as to give me someone as perfect as you only to tell me it was wrong to be with you... But what if I'm just holding on to false hope? What if it is a sin and I'm just too biased to see it?"
"I had a lot of questions like that too" Beau admitted. "But then I thought about how humans weren't made to be perfect and we can only do our best to follow his word... If we interpret it wrong, he'll at least see that we did our best to do good and had faith in him... I think that's all you really need"
"You always have been the brighter one out of the two of us" Lukas chuckled. "I really do like you, Beau... You know that, right?"
"Of course" Beau smiled up at the ceiling feeling his chest erupt in butterflies at each word. He wanted to stay there forever...
"And I'm really happy that whatever this is is happening" He added. "I've been going through a lot these past few years and I don't think I could have done it without you"
Beau gave Lukas's hand a quick squeeze to show his appreciation but his mind was occupied. He didn't like how lost Lukas still sounded. How he had spoken about the sleeping pills his mother took alongside him saying that he couldn't have done it just made Beau worry.
"I want to move to the city after graduation..." Beau admitted after what felt like hours of silence. Of course, he had already told Lukas this but now he could tell him the real reasons. "I think I could be happy there... I could be myself there... I want to be out to the world and not just you and my mom"
"That sounds good for you" Lukas agreed. "And I didn't know you were out to your mom"
"Yeah... I came out to her in middle school... She kind of helped clear up that phase I went through" Beau sighed. "She's been incredibly supportive... Even offered to switch churches"
"I like to think that my mom would have been like that... I think she would have been over the moon when she realized I found you" Lukas sighed. "Have you told your mom about... Us?"
"No... I didn't think you'd want her to know" Beau admitted.
"Then let's tell her" Lukas shrugged. Beau sat up and stared at Lukas in disbelief. If his mother found out the rest of his family was bound to. His mother, bless her, wasn't exactly great at keeping secrets. She had almost accidentally outed Beau on multiple occasions trying to make her subtle jokes.
"You're joking..." Beau searched Lukas's face for any sign he was just joking around, but eventually found none. "You're not joking" He huffed.
"Hear me out, it would be nice to just be with you around other people... Even if it's just your mom" Lukas reasoned. "And I know she can be a bit... Over-excited over things but I also know she'd never do anything to intentionally hurt us"
"Okay..." Beau finally agreed with a small smile.
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Beau's foot bounced up and down nervously as he waited for Lukas to get back. Lukas was joining him and his family for dinner but had to take Ophelia home first. Mr. Edwards had only agreed to keep her if she stayed in the barn so Lukas had put together a warm bed for her until he could find the time to build a proper dog house.
Beau sat across from his family waiting patiently as his mother finished up the last of dinner. He still hadn't come out to his father and Lucy because he simply never felt the need to. They weren't as close as they probably should be, but he decided he didn't want to sneak around with Lukas. At least not in his house... And Lukas had agreed.
His mother finally walked back into the dining room and began laying out everyone's plates while they waited for Lukas to return. The plan was to come out and depending on how they took it, possibly introduce Lukas as his... Boyfriend? He wasn't exactly sure on that part.
The front door opened and the tall blonde quickly rushed to his seat mumbling his apologies. He sat across from David and they went through their usual prayer before they began to eat. It was steak with homemade mashed potatoes and asparagus. Something he knew would put David in a good mood.
"Dad... Lucy..." Beau hesitantly began. "Mom and Lukas already know but I have something I should probably tell you" He awkwardly began. He felt Lukas's strong hand grip his thigh, running small and reassuring circles with his thumb. That small gesture seemed to relax Beau a bit.
"Hm?" David hummed. He looked up from his plate to meet his son's gaze. David had always been a calm and uninterested person. He was kind and polite, but he never expressed any strong emotions. That was what made him and Shelby such a perfect pair. They balanced one another out perfectly.
"So... I'm just going to be as straight-forward as I can. I'm gay..." He froze mid-bite and glanced over at Shelby after a moment.
"Didn't we already know that?" David asked. Shelby sent David an 'are you kidding me?' Look and he quickly corrected himself. "Beau, your mother and I have known since you were in grade school. And we don't care as long as you're happy" David deadpanned.
Beau nodded feeling instant relief. He glanced over at Lucy who seemed to be holding back a lot of emotions and he wasn't sure how he felt about that.
"Luce?" Beau asked.
"We can talk about boys together!" Lucy suddenly blurted out earning an eye roll from David and leaving Beau stunned. "Do you have a crush? Is it someone on the football team? Is that why you joined? I always wondered why-"
Beau sat frozen, unsure how to react or answer any of that. He and his sister weren't super close due to their age gap so the idea of giggling over pretty celebrities just felt weird. As for the rest of the questions, he couldn't help feeling a little overwhelmed.
"Lucy" David warned. "Let the boy breath" He chuckled. Beau quietly collected himself before giving Lukas an uncertain glance.
"That's kind of the next part... Lukas and I are kind of together now" Beau added with a small blush. He glanced up at Lukas once more to find that he was giving uncertain glances in David's direction.
Lukas had always been warry of David. Beau even remembered him being stunned at how unbothered and easy-going David was. He left all of the decisions to Shelby and was very passive overall. It was something Lukas had once thought to be odd. Especially with his father's strict rules and need for control.
"Finally" Shelby gushed. "Awe, my boys I am so happy for you two"
"Congratulations, son" David gave both of the boys a small smile before returning to his meal in peace.
"Thank you, Shelby, Thank you, Mr. Martin" Lukas sighed in relief and moved his hand from Beau's thigh before weaving their fingers together.
"Does that mean Lukas can't sleep over anymore?" Lucy pouted. Shelby and David exchanged glances as they had their silent conversation before coming to an agreement. Well, more David deciding that it was Shelby's decision entirely.
"I trust Lukas" Shelby decided with a shrug. "He's a good kid and we all know where his values are" Beau nodded along feeling relieved. Everything was going well. He had his family's support, he had Lukas and he was still allowed to have Lukas stay over.
Beau knew what Shelby meant by Lukas's values. She was talking about his purity pledge that Lukas had taken on faith and Beau had taken because Lukas wanted to take it. Beau had always assumed he would break it when he moved to the city and hopefully found his first boyfriend. But after discovering Lukas's feelings toward him, he knew he would gladly wait.
"You really don't know how much this means to me..." Lukas sighed. "I don't want any of this to leave the house. And I especially don't want my dad finding out... Not until I'm out of the house, anyway"
"You have our word" David promised before nudging Lucy. "You too. I don't want you telling anyone this. Not your friends, not your teachers, not extended family and especially not Mr. Edwards"
"Of course" Lucy rolled her eyes as she poked at her food. "Are you alright, Beau? You've been quiet"
"I'm fine" Beau promised. "Just... A bit out of it" He shrugged. He felt Lukas's grip tighten around his and he took a deep breath to try and calm his racing heart. "Thank you all... It means more than you could ever understand"
He seemed to relax a bit more as he returned to his food. His mother rambled on about how long she had been waiting for this and how she had never been more excited. Even once mentioning the idea of Lukas being her future son-in-law which only left Beau flustered and speechless. But overall it was a good dinner... Maybe one of the best of his life. Because for the first time ever, he was being honest with everyone around him.
It amazed Beau how quickly Lukas seemed to adapt to his new environment. How easily he answered questions or even acted as if he and Beau had been together for years. His smile never fell and for the first time in a while, he looked completely free and undeniably happy.
Beau and Lukas had just finished taking care of their plates when Lukas bent down to plant a quick kiss on Beau's lips. Beau smiled and quickly kissed him back without a second thought. His heart did a little dance as Lukas's hands gripped his waist just before he pulled away.
"That went well" Lukas quietly commented. His hands still lingered around Beau's waist, holding him as close as possible as he stared down at the smaller boy.
"A little too well" Beau chuckled. He pressed his forehead against Lukas's chest to hide his embarrassment. Or maybe he just wanted to be a little closer. "All I want right now is to go upstairs and cuddle" He mumbled. Lukas's chest vibrated as he laughed and began to mess with Beau's hair.
"That can be arranged" Lukas promised. He placed one last kiss on Beau's neck before pulling away and intertwining their fingers. Beau happily followed him toward the stairs when they were interrupted.
"Hold up" Shelby quickly cut them off at the stairs. "I know I said I'm alright with Lukas staying over but I have a few new rules"
"Mama, it's fine-" Beau began but he was quickly cut off with a finger in his face.
"You know better than to Argue" She scoffed. "Anyways, I want the door unlocked at all times. I don't believe Lukas would back out on his pledge, but I was a teenager once too so if you decide to, use protection and no sex while anyone - especially Lucy - is home. If I discover any of my rules being broken I will not hesitate to move one of y'all to the couch" Shelby snapped.
Beau stared at the floor feeling completely mortified. His cheeks were flushed a bright red and he found himself lost for words. Shelby and Lukas, on the other hand, seemed perfectly comfortable with everything.
"Of course," Lukas quickly agreed. "You don't have to worry about it. I promise" Lukas sent Shelby a charming smile before he was pulled into another hug. Shelby let go and moved to Beau, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head on her son's chest.
"I love you boys so much... I really am happy for the both of you" She sighed. "And Lukas, if you ever need any help regarding your father you always have a place to stay" She gave one last smile before heading back to the kitchen to finish cleaning up.
"I love your mom" Lukas decided as he headed up the stairs and toward Beau's bedroom.
"That was mortifying" Beau groaned as he collapsed onto his bed. Lukas only shrugged and laid down next to him with a winning smile.
"I don't see why... It's nice to know she cares and it isn't like she said anything I didn't already plan on doing" Lukas shrugged. He paused for a moment, his pale eyes glancing away from Beau awkwardly. "You don't mind my pledge... Right?" Lukas asked.
"Of course not... Why would I?" Beau stared at him dumbfounded. They had both taken the same pledge in middle school. Of course, only one of them knew what they were agreeing to and planned to uphold it. Still, Beau didn't mind... He knew how important faith was to Lukas and he wasn't going to try and take it from him.
"I don't know... You just didn't seem interested in the pledge when we took it and I just wanted to make sure you weren't expecting anything" Lukas sighed. He ran his fingers through Beau's hair making a pretty white smile appear on his face.
"I don't care if we never sleep together... I just want to be with you" Beau promised before placing a quick kiss on the tip of Lukas's nose. "Besides, I took the pledge too"
"Yeah, like you planned to upkeep it" Lukas snorted.
"It never seemed possible" Beau protested. "For a while, it was illegal for me to get married... And it's still frowned upon. I honestly believed I'd lose my virginity long before marriage. I only took the pledge because you did"
"Are you serious?" Lukas laughed.
"Yes," Beau deadpanned as a blush reached his cheeks. "Do you honestly think I knew what I was taking? Or that I like football or youth group or any of the Indiana Jones movies?"
"Sounds like you've had a crush on me for a while" Lukas teased with a wink. He sat up and grabbed a small DVD case and began to flip through Beau's movies.
"Yeah, since I was seven" Beau admitted. He sat up and rested his head on Lukas's shoulder as he watched him flip through the DVDs. They were all old and boring movies Beau had seen a billion times, but Lukas seemed to like them. "No" Beau groaned as Lukas took out an all too familiar disk.
"You brought it up" Lukas reminded him before place a chaste kiss on his lips. "And now I want to watch it" Beau let out a huff and fell back onto the bed with a thump making Lukas laugh. He set up the old tv and nudged Beau. "Come on, move over" He pressed.
"Nope" Beau stated while popping the 'p'. He lightly bit down on his lip in an attempt to conceal his smirk, but he failed.
"Suit yourself" Lukas shrugged. He climbed onto the bed and laid on top of Beau, wrapping his arms tightly around his waist and burying his face into the crook of his neck.
"I think you weigh more than your horse" Beau grumbled in protest. In reality, he didn't mind having Lukas this close. The way he held him made him happy and made him feel loved and safe. He lightly combed through Lukas's hair using his fingers as he listened to the movie playing in the background.
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The bed shifted as Lukas pulled away from Beau, leaving him feeling cold. Beau groaned as forced his eyes open despite his exhaustion. His eyebrows furrowed together as he glanced out the window seeing the sun hadn't even begun to rise.
"Hey" Lukas gave Beau a small smile as he began to change into simple jeans. Beau bit his bottom lip as his eyes shamelessly ran along Lukas's muscular arms and chest.
"Why are you up?" Beau yawned. He had liked sleeping with Lukas's arms wrapped tightly around him. He liked the warmth of Lukas's body pressed against his and just how peaceful Lukas had looked while asleep.
"My dad's been calling me. He wants me home," Lukas mumbled as he reached for a shirt. Beau's heart dropped as he noticed a bruise on Lukas's side. He was used to Lukas having a bruised body. Especially since he did so much yard work and played football. But that didn't mean he didn't hate the sight of them.
"Where'd you get that one?" Beau mumbled as he rested his head back onto the pillow.
"Huh?" Lukas paused as he followed Beau's gaze down to his side. He froze for a moment before shrugging. "Not sure. Probably one of the horses..." Lukas trailed off before brushing Beau's hair out of the way and pressing a sweet kiss to his forehead. "I'll see you later... Alright?"
"Yeah" Beau gave Lukas a tired smile and quickly received Lukas's bright one in return before he left. Beau let out a long sigh as he attempted to fall back asleep or at least get warm.
The last couple of days felt as if they had been straight out of a dream. He never wanted this to end... He wanted to spend forever with Lukas. They'd already lasted seventeen years as friends, who's to say they couldn't last even more as something else? Beau could see himself being happy with Lukas in the long run... They were perfect together. They balanced one another out, shared a lot of the same values, and had mutual respect for one another. What more did they need?
That silly plan of leaving Tennessee behind for a big city and finding a boy that he loved enough to forget about his feelings toward Lukas seemed stupid now. Of course, he still wanted to leave but not without Lukas. Maybe he would go to Nevada with him... Or maybe somewhere completely different. He wasn't sure. But what he did know, was that there had never been so much possibility.