Alex
I didn't know what to say at first...
For starters, I was currently doing everything in my power to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall.
Christian had such a grip on my hand, the mere thought of blood still circulating to my fingers was impossible to fathom anymore. I was sure they must have been turning a pale blue in color.
"Christian..." I whispered, trailing off...
Words weren't finding me easy tonight.
"Shit, I'm so sorry!" Christian was quick to rush out. I could see worry flash across his face and it was mixed with that look of pain and rejection. It made my heart feel like it had just been ripped straight out from my chest. "I shouldn't of rushed things, or said something like that-"
"Would you shut the hell up?" I snapped on him almost immediately.
Christian's lips shut closed just as quickly as they parted.
"You make me wish I had planned out what I was going to say tonight... but I don't think there's anything I could say that would even begin to top your words." I explained to this man. Christian remained silent as I spoke. "It's crazy to think that here I am feeling this heavy guilt for how much you do for me... when you're seated right here entertaining the thought that you possibly haven't done enough.
"However terribly you went about it, Christian, you did save my mother's life. Whether it was a life worth saving is still to be determined, but you did that... and you did that for me. I thought the only eternal debt I'd have to work off in this lifetime would come from my student loans." That made me chuckle. "What you did, Christian... That's something I'm not sure I'll ever be able to repay."
I felt myself relax when I saw Christian's tense shoulders soften. He no longer had that daunting look of worry etched into his face, as he continued to sit still and listen.
"The way you handled my alcohol abuse... The way you handled the Gala..." I could feel that familiar stinging in my nose as my eyes began to tear up.
Just the thought of that that night at the Gala.
Having to see my mother.
Having to watch as my mother embarrassed me for the nine gazillionth time in my life.
Seeing her at my place of work amongst my coworkers and our clients- it felt like everything I had been working so hard to distance myself from, had come crashing down all around me....
And there was a part of myself that was still angry.
Angry at the fact that Christian had thought it okay to do something like that.
Angry at the fact that he thought he had any right to.
But there was another part of myself... a small part of myself that felt proud. Funny isn't it? Even through all that trauma, there was a part of me that was proud at the fact I had got to show my mother all I accomplished without her help.
There was a part of myself that felt relief when Christian stood up for me in a way that I couldn't do for myself. When Christian imposed true Ivanov fear into her.
Having any type of relationship with my mother had always felt crippling.
Suffocating, I would say.
Knowing how strong a hold she had on me made me feel powerless against her words. Against her pleas. Against her. Christian had in some way managed to regain that independence for me. Instead of dreading my mother's sporadic calls, I got to enjoy every day without thinking something may happen, or something may already have.
Christian had also set some strict rules for my mother in terms of her stay at the facility.
He let her know it was entirely my choice on when or if I wanted to reestablish a relationship with her.
He let me know that she wasn't allowed any visitors who weren't cleared by him or Brad personally.
And lastly, he let her know that this really was her last opportunity.
Past this, all ties will be severed with the Ivanovs and Christian's family will put her back on the streets.
Christian, in addition, had also made sure to be transparent with everything after the blow up at the Gala. He gave me all the information on my mother's stay, and allowed me full rights to her treatment regime. I felt my heart swell as I thought about how much he truly has done for me.
Then there was my alcohol abuse.
I glanced over at the sparkling juice Christian had chosen in light of my abandonment to alcohol. I hadn't brought it up with him, but clearly he had picked up on my recent change in habits.
"You've done more for me than I could possibly put into words." I was really biting back the tears now. A few were dangerously close to falling. "I came into this position thinking there was no possible way I was going to learn even a scrap about love or compassion from a man such as yourself- but you've proven to be far more complex than I've given you credit for... I've been so used to handling things on my own-" I felt my voice break, which then forced me to break eye contact with Christian.
This wasn't where I had necessarily wanted the conversation to go.
I hadn't meant to get emotional.
I hated how sensitive I was to any topic involving my mother, and some days, I envied how stone cold Christian's exterior could be when he wanted it to.
I wished I had been born with that same ability.
I was so used to bundling up all my emotions, and jam packing them into a convenient box that I only allowed myself to unpack alone... because crying in front of anyone was such a soul bearing thing to do.
"That can be so lonely." Christian whispered to me.
His words only amplified my thoughts, and after some time, I slowly nodded my head.
"You've made me realize that sometimes, it's okay to not have it together. That sometimes-" I felt my words choke up for a moment. "Sometimes it's okay to ask for help."
I still couldn't bring myself to look Christian in the eye... but there was no way to avoid him when I felt his hand suddenly pull me forward. It resulted in me tumbling into his arms. I thought the impact would be hard and clumsy, but instead it was warm and welcoming. My legs almost instinctively wrapped themselves around his torso as I comfortably rested my head against his shoulder.
Christian's hand had started to massage the middle of my back. With his other hand, he softly kneaded the area where my shoulders connected to my neck. I tried to stifle the moan that had erupted from my lips, but his body still stiffened from the noise.
I pulled away slightly so I could get a better look at him. His eyes were pure gold from the sunset in front of us, as he stared up at me.
"To summarize my very long answer to your unspoken question..." I whispered to him. Christian shifted beneath us, which resulted in our cocks accidentally grinding together. Another soft moan left my lips, and that made Christian pull my lower half even closer to him.
I felt my grip on his shoulder tighten as I strained to get the rest of my words out.
"Christian fucking Ivanov... I've fallen madly in love with you, too."
Being so close to him made it possible to see every emotion jump across his face. I couldn't possibly imagine what words would fall past his lips...
But no words did.
Instead, Christian's hands slid from the nape of my neck, deep into my brown locks. They entangled themselves there as he brought my lips down to his.
This kiss was more.
It wasn't just a slight peck or a hasty attempt driven by lust- this kiss was all passion. The way he held me made me feel completely secure in the embrace. It made me want to stay here. His lips lightly tugging on mine as his free hand explored the now exposed skin of my chest.
I wasn't even sure when Christian had unbuttoned those buttons... but time during this exact moment had stopped almost completely for me. When his hand reached the hem of my shorts, I broke away from the kiss.
"Maybe we should..." I started to murmur. Then Christian attached those devilish lips to my neck, and I began to unravel in his hands.
His fingers dipped below the band of the boxers to cup my exposed self entirely. I let out a struggling moan when I felt the electrifying contact. He started giving me light squeezes, which made my hips buck into him... then he graduated to full strokes. "C-Christian." I moaned when I felt teeth nibble at the sensitive skin on my collarbone.
I already felt sexually deprived, but Christian had begun the unspeakable act of setting my body on fire with his touch.
"I love the way my name sounds when you mumble it unconsciously through your moans." He growled against my ear. That made my body outwardly shiver.
I was very positive that this man may have just made me pregnant- right here right now.
His hand picked up in pace as it stroked my cock faster. The fingers I had latched onto Christian's shoulders went from a firm grip, to a death grip. "I love the way you react to my touch.... Every touch." He whispered low as he nibbled on my lobe again.
That feeling was the most unexplainable feeling alone. I was like a gust of hot air fanning against my sensitive skin, while his sharp teeth lightly grazed over the surface area. It made me want to do things I didn't even think I was that into up until now.
I felt that familiar feeling start to build up inside of me.
"C-Christian, I-" I whispered to him.
Christian
Every ounce of fiber in my being was on fire right now.
I watched as Alex started to lose resolve within my grasp. I wanted to taste him tonight. Every last inch of him. When I heard my name fumble past his lips again, I realized I may not have had the self restraint I thought I did tonight.
I didn't want to wait until we got to the hotel.
I wanted Alex now.
Before I was able to slip his remaining garments of clothing off, I felt something start to vibrate hard inside my back pocket.
I ignored the first call, as I laid Alex back gently on the blanket... but the second call was what made me break away.
When I pulled my phone out, I noticed the caller ID said it was Brad. That made me sigh heavily.
"Brad listen- I know I've told you plenty of times that right now isn't the best time... but please hold these words true and dear when I tell you that right now really isn't the fucking time-"
"I need you and Alex to start packing." Brad interrupted. "You're on the next flight out with me and Joan."
My hands froze mid stride into slipping Alex's shorts off. "What are you talking about?" I asked him through the line.
"We gotta head home, Christian... Slav just dropped all charges against Vadik."
To Be Continued...
••
Book Three is Out Now!
The CEO's Desire
(boyxboy)
Christian has finally done it.
Made things official.
But it wouldn't really be their love story if one of their families didn't cut that budding, love filled trip short.
What Alex and Christian will return to, will have these two questioning everything... like whether blood is really thicker than water.
And how soon is too soon for marriage.
••
Book Three (Finale) in The CEO's Trilogy