LALISA POV
She loosen the grip
I am coughing so hard, trying to push her away as I'm needing the air so bad but her hold remain firm and watch how I catch my breath like I was about to die
I thought I was
Her eyes that seems very mad. She hurt me again yet I am blaming myself of why she acted that way, like a complete stranger with so much hatred in her heart.
I did this, she did nothing but to be a good girlfriend and here I am, lying infront of her face.
Hurting her more than how I feel, she must've snapped as to why am I breaking up so sudden. She was just mentioning to me everyday of how much she loves me more than she love herself. That I am her world. That I am her everything.
"Enough with your charade I am tired of your bullshit. From now on there is no mask, you'll see the real person you are committed with. Evil or not you're not getting away from me!!" she shouted in my face.
I cried even more, so terrified, I watch how the vein in her neck almost explode from the madness, how her eyes darkening and how she spoke is so frightening
"You're hurting me-"
"YES!" she cut me "I'll hurt you! What you have just said was more than painful! You could've just slap me, Lalisa! You could've just push me on the rooftop! I did nothing but to understand you! I did nothing but to look like a fucking dog complying with your shitty rules, obey you all the goddamn time. A fucking dog waiting to pet her head! Do you know how insulting it was for me, Lalisa!!?" she was burning, her mental state was bordered in madness.
But, she was right. I am the one ruling this relationship, controlling when and where we could act real lovebirds and I know I am hurting her.
One word and she would comply, I always win in our argument when I knew for sure she was just letting me and that she just love me that much.
She was right all the time and that she has the right to be mad and hurt me. It was my fault, I am at fault. She doesn't deserve to be treated this way
Guess I would listen to my heart for now.. until I can't hold it anymore
Sobbing, I take my moment enveloping my arms around her neck. I hug her and cried uncontrollably in the very crook, choking in the process
"I'm.. I'm sorry.. I'm sorry love, I'm sorry.. " I cried
She hugged me back. Her embrace was more tighter than mine like she was telling me that I don't have a choice but to be in her arms whatever
"Save it if you still wanted a break up" she spoke, now with a little softness but the anger was still igniting
I shake my head "I'm scared.. Jennie I think Mom knew there was something between us. I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you.. " I sobbed hard
"I don't want to break up with you, I'm just so stressed about my mother, I don't know what to do anymore. She'll threw me out, Jennie.. " I sobbed again remembering my mother's words every chance she got whenever I'm using my phone or seeing Jennie bringing me home
She's just rubbing my back, kissing my shoulder a few times "This is just the only way I know.. I'm so sorry"I said to her
"Breaking up with me would just make the situation worse. I'm confused as to why do you need to end everything between us when anything you wanted to happen is what I am following" then she brush my hair with her fingertips
"If she kicked you out I'll pick you up. Trust me Lalisa, I got you and I would never leave you"
I shake my head "I don't have the nerve to be independent, Jennie. I don't even know how to cook for myself, I even asked her sometimes to do my laundry, still the one providing my living... God, I'm so messed up" I said pulling away my face from her shoulder.
I couldn't get away from her grasp and it would be a waste of energy if I try
"Depend on me, Lalisa. I'll help you through your ups and down. I'll help you with everything, I will be by your side even if you don't need me anymore. I love you, always remember" god, how do I deserve this woman. She's perfect, and selfless
"Where do I live?" I asked that made her grin in an instant which I find somewhat weird knowing our situation
"Good girl" she caress my cheeks with her thumb "Leave it to me, as what I always reminds you, worry if the problem is already infront of you" I'm almost convince that she has a multiple personality. One second she's mad, neutral, and now she's smiling
"Jennie, don't leave me" I said hugging her again
"Not gonna happen" she rest assured
We stopped in our track when we hear a knock. We stay still as Jennie whispered she locked the door. We waited and sighed when the knocking was gone
"What if we get tired of each other?" I asked, still contemplating if I am really making a right decision "What will happen to me then? I- .. I'm not sure.. I'm scared.. can we take a break for a while-"
"Enough!" I flinched when she shouted, the deep voice bringing me again to the terrified self
"Fucking break up with me again and you'll see what selfishness truly means" she gritted
When she say there is no more mask, does she mean this side of her? Oh god no, please. That would be too much to take with the fact that I'm undeniably afraid of her sudden outburst. So alarming, so disturbing for myself
"I was damn sure, I am not. And if you are, it's not like I'm letting you go anyway" she smirked when we pulled out
Rolling my eyes to hide my pathetic scared self, I wiped my cheeks if there's a dry tears left "You're crazy" I said shaking my head. She just shrugged, then she take me closer on her bringing her lips to mine
"I love you" she whispered
"I love you too" I said. "I'm sorry"
"We'll keep our cool, doll" she said giving a tiny space in between our lips
"We're late" I said. She smile and stared in my eyes, she slowly close her eyes and made my lips dance in rhythm
We parted as we're lacking of oxygen. Breathing with our parted lips, she smashed her lips to mine again taking my whole body onto her. Her kiss was always magically affectionate, I could always feel her love that never disappoint me
Pulling out, she push a few strand of my hair on the back of my ear as she was staring at me with so much longing "How are you, my doll" she asked softly
"I think I'm better" she nodded
She spin me around to face the untouch mirror. She then snake her right arm around my stomach and I am so confused of why she is staring at my stomach while rubbing her hand up and down. Her eyes crawled up to meet my confusion, she smile and tilted her face to sniff my hair as she closed her eyes
Really, what the hell is she doing?
"Uh, Jennie?" I called and tried my luck to face her. But she stay still
"You are my angel. The love I have for you didn't even get close of how you imagine" she open her eyes, rubbing again my stomach
"Sooner, we will be having a happy family. There is no such thing as impossible nowadays, you are meant to me and my life was dedicated to love and take care of you" she stated looking straight in my eyes through the mirror
"Why are you talking about the future? We're still young" I chuckled
"Because you are my future. I'll secure you as much as I can" how she spoke was like it's in her head for a long time
"Yeah? How do you know the future smart-ass?" I mocked
"I don't know the future. But my own future is here with me in my arms" oh god, please don't embarrass yourself from blushing at her blatant flirting Lisa
"I'll run away" I joked, giggling
"I like the chasing" she smirked
"But I swear to you, no one will have you but me, nobody"
"Creepy" I laughed, taking her words as a joke "We're late in our own classes" I reminded her
She ignored me and finally spin me around again to face her "I love you, Lalisa"
"I love you too"
:
She forced me to cut class as she said she'll bring me to the restaurant that served all my favorites. Then a stroll around the neighbor city, and we made sure we're far away from our residents
I remember Jennie mentioned a family with me
And guess who has a doll face looking forward for it to happen