You sit there giggling and smiling like an evil grinch on the gross, oily driveway.
"U-u-um... y-y/n? C-could you move out of the way? Please?" Porky asks, semi-scared.
You snap your neck around and glare at the diabetic pig.
"What the f*ck did you just f*cking say about me, you little b*tch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the f*ck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my f*cking words. You think you can get away with saying that sh*t to me over the Internet? Think again, f*cker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're f*cking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable a*s off the face of the continent, you little sh*t. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your f*cking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you godd*mn idiot. I will sh*t fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're f*cking dead, kiddo!!!" You scream at the top of your LUNGS in Pooky pig's FAT FACE!!!
The porkinator is now crying as he steps over your body and runs inside bugaboo's house.
"Good job y/n. Porky is a little b*TCH who deservesth to be put down,"Daffy gives you an approving nod and a thumbs up.
"Lol thanks," you say as you help yourself off the floor, even though you thought Daffy should've been a gentleman and help you up.
You forget about Yosemite and accidentally lock him in the soundproof car. You and Daffy both walk inside the house as you are laughing at the little p**sy pig Pokey.
You slam the door shut (luckily no one was there to get their piggies crushed) and you plop your fat booty down on the couch right away. You turn your head to look for the alpha rabbit male rabbit. Daffy comes inside and goes into the kitchen.
"Hey Bugsth" Daffy spits and sits down by the counter.
Bugs waves to him and continues talking to Lola in the kitchen. You snap your neck around as soon as you hear the valley girl wannabe giggle and flirt. You feel angered and you quickly get up from the couch with your amazing gymnastic skills and zoom over to the kitchen. You take a seat next to Daffy and stare at Bugs and Lola.
"Oh! Lola! This is y/n, have you two met before?" Bugs says as he introduces you.
You roll your eyes and flip her off.
She giggles.
"Ohh yes! She is LOVELY! We had an amazing conversation before she drove off. We have so much in common!" She says happily.
You roll your eyes again.
"You just met me, booger stain" you say angrily and slam your fists on the table.
"I know! But I just know we are going to be the best of friends" Lola says excitedly.
You get up aggressively.
"In your dreams, plastic BARBIE!!" You shriek and throw a normie iPhone 8 at her.
Though, she luckily catches it and gasps.
"Thanks! I have a great catching hand! Or is it I have a great throwing hand..? Well whatever, thank you for the gift! But now I feel bad.. I don't have anything to give you. Oh! Here! Let me find you something" Lola says as she digs through her purse.
You growl and slap her face.
"NO YOU MORON, THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO HIT YOU!!!!" You scream and grab the iPhone 8 and smash it on the ground.
Everyone in the room stares at you awkwardly, so you start fake laughing to make it less awkward.
"Haha.. HAHAHAHA!!" You laugh.
"APRIL FOOLS!!!!" You scream and try to cover yourself.
Everyone joins in with you.
"HAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAH!!!" Everyone screams and giggles and chuckles and laughs.
"Ha! Wait.. this ain't April.. it's June?" Bugs says and scratches his head.
Everyone looks at you again. You sweat like a moist turd in the sea.
"Uh.. oh! Darn.. I totally thought it was April first! Oopsie! When you're a famous super model, it's hard to keep track of time.." you sigh and wipe sweat away from your brow.
Everyone chuckles again.
"No way! You're a model?? Well then.. I've been told I look great in a swimsuit" Lola winks and hands you a sticky note with her phone number.
"Hey! I've been told that too!" Daffy says and Lola and him both giggle together.
You realize how much Daffy and Lola have in common. They're both retarded. You then get a bright idea. You look over at Lola.
"Say, Lola! How about me and you have some girl time? Maybe in a separate room away from.. the boys?" You smirk and giggle.
"Ooo! Great idea! I've been dying to bond with a fellow girl" Lola screams excitedly.
You both leave the kitchen and walk upstairs.
"Make sure you two don't touch anything while you're up there!!" Bugs yells up to you both.
You look down at him from the railing and flip him off.
You both continue to walk upstairs and decide to go into Daffy's room. You two laugh at how retarted Daffy's room looks and call him an autistic quacker.
"Sooo.. Lola.. about Daffy" you say slyly and sit on top of Daffy's bed.
"What about Taffy?" Lolita asks.
"DAFFY! Anyways.. you two.. have a lot in common" you say and smirk.
"I knoww! He's so much fun to hang out with! He's especially good when we go to hair salons" The valley girl bunny giggles.
You roll your eyes at how obnoxious this Heather wannabe is.
"So.. how would you feel if.. you and him.. you know.. dated?" You say as you grin widely.
"What? But I'm dating Bugs? And besides I've been there and done that before. I am sooooo not into him anymore," Lola reassures.
"Wait...you dated Daffy before?!?!" You gasp in shock.
"Well kinda sorta..." she admits.
"Why'd you break up?" You ask, genuinely curious.
"Oh he was dating another woman," Lola shrugs.
"So he was cheating on you?!?!" You yell in shock, putting a hand over your mouth. Then memories of Elmer cheating on you flash in your mind and you slightly tear up.
"Well not really, we weren't technically dating? It was kind of a one sided thing. Unless Daffy actually did like me back and was just pretending to like Tina. Ooh! What if he liked me first but after going out with Tina he discovered he liked her more! Omigosh I've gotta tell Tina!" Lola gasps as she whips out her phone.
You immediately snatch the phone out of her hand and throw it against the wall, leaving a giant hole in it and breaking Lola's phone.
"Omigosh why are you like this?!?!" You groan as you slam your face into your hands.
"What's wrong?" Lola asks gently as she puts a hand on your shoulder. You immediately slap her hand away and spit at her.
"None of your business!!! Look I don't think you and Bugs are meant to be together!" You yell in her face.
"What?? You really think so!?!?" Lola asks upset.
"Um...he's clearly annoyed by you, hates you, and wish you would die a violent and cruel death!" You spit venomous words in her face.
"Wow...I didn't realize he felt all that about me..." Lola says depressed.
"Yeah you know what, why don't you back off of him ok? I'm much more suited for him. I mean just look at me! I'm a rich and sexy super model! You're just...a dumb blond," you sneer at her.
"Well I'll do anything to make Bun Bun happy. Even if that means not being with him," Lola silently cries as she agrees to back off of him.
You smirk evily as she walks depressingly out of Daffy's room.
Perfect
You thought as a clinical smile seeps onto your face.
You then walk out of Daffy's room and quickly run in to Bugs' room. As soon as you step in, you deeply inhale the stench of the handsome rabbit's room. You smelled mixes of axe colonel and.. carrots? You shrug and plop down on Bugs' race car bed and snuggle up with his bed sheets. You sniff and moan from the stench of alpha male and roll around in it.
You then sit up and form an evil grinch smile on your face. You have a BRILLIANT idea. Your idea is that you trash Bugs' room and frame Lola to make Bugs' and Lola break up. You giggle and clap your hands in glee.
You sit up from his bed and look around the room, searching for things to smash. You then notice a picture of Bugs and Lola hugging while eating a quesadilla from what it looks like.. The Quesadilla Shack? You cringe just thinking about that awful date with that stinky skunk. You shutter.
You grab the picture and smash it on the ground. Glass is EVERYWHERE. You gasp because a little glass shot up in your eye. You scream at the top of your lungs!!!!! Obviously, everyone from downstairs hears and quickly runs upstairs.
"Y/N!! WHATS THE MATTER??" Bugs calls up to you as he's running like Sonic the hog.
You start panicking, because the glass is stuck in your eye good. Bugs runs in his room as sees your eye covered in blood. Daffy comes in too and he screams at the horrific sight.
"WHAT HAPPENED??" Bugs yells in a panic and then he sees the broken picture on the ground.
"LOLA SMASHED THE PICTURE ON THE GROUND AND SHOVED GLASS IN MY EYE!!!!!" You scream and begin fake crying.
Bugs hurries and hands you a rag for your eye blood. You run up to Bugs and squeeze him tight.
"Bugsy-wugsy! Save me from that monster!!" You scream and snuggle up to him.
Bugs bugs you and pats you on the back. He looks back at Lola.
"Is this true, Lola?" Bugs questions his girlfriend.
Lola sighs and hangs her head lowla.
"No I didn't!! I swear I didn't, Bun Bun!" Lola says as she starts crying as well.
Everyone in the room is crying except for Bugs.
"ALRIGHT ALRIGHT!! EVERYONE SHUT UP!!!" Bugs screams at the top of his lungs.
Everyone is silent.
"Y/n what really happened??" Bugs says, angrily.
"BUGS?!?! How can you not believe meeeeeee?!???" You sob harder.
"Y/n, that's not it. I want to believe both you AND Lola. But you gotta tell me the truth ok? We gotta get your eye fixed too, so calm down and tell me alright?" Bugs said in a comforting tone, putting an arm on your shoulders.
"O-ok...um...like I was trying to find the bathroom. B-but I went in your room and like, tripped and knocked over the picture. Omg my FROGING EYE!!!!!!!!!" You shriek and sputter.
"Ok it's ok, it was just an accident right? You thought I'd be mad do you blamed it on Lola right?" Bugs asked you.
All you could do was shake your head in reply as you sob your working eye out.
"Let's get you cleaned up, come with me," bugs ushered you into the bathroom and closed the door behind you two.
He started washing your eye out in the sink and gently dabbing the wound with water. He turns you around to face him as he looks at your eye closely. Your face heated up as he was close to your face and almost embracing you.
"It was just a little scratch y/n, nuttin to worry about. It bled more than it cut," bugs said gently as he gave you a reassuring smile.
Just then you kissed him as you couldn't contain your feelings any longer. He just stood there in shock for a few seconds until he came to his senses. He pulled away as he looked at you with a look of all different emotions. Shock, confusion, anger, sadness, happiness, glee, hunger, lust, laziness, bagpipes, constipation, fear, and illness.
"Y/n...we can't do this," Bugs said curtly.
"Why not? Lola isn't fit to be your girlfriend!! I am way better than...THAN...THAT!!!" You yell as tears stream down your face.
Bugs just looks at you with pity and gives you a hug.
"It's been a long day for you, I think your tired, emotional, and probably on your period. So let's go out there, greet EVERYONE wit a smile, and go back to how things were ok?" Bugs says as he lets go of you.
"My period isn't until next week..." you growl at him.
"Ok y/n, behave!" Buggy commands you as he pushes you aside and exits the bathroom.
You look at yourself in the mirror and see how hideous you are. Your makeup is all messed up. Your hair is a wet rats nest. And your outfit is all wet and sweaty. So you get to work on yourself before you go out of the bathroom.
After you're done putting on your James Charlie's lip stick and Jeffery Star lip gloss, you stomp out of the bathroom in embarrassment and zoom down the stairs, greeted by Bugs, Daffy, Lola🤮, and someone new that you haven't met before. She's a yellow duck with brown silky hair, has brown eyeshadow, and is wearing a white shirt with a denim skirt.
"Oh hey y/n! This is Tina Russo, she lives in the neighborhood" Bugs says as he introduces the girl duck.
"Hello, nice ta meet ya" Tina says as she's chewing a wad of dubble bubble gum.
You roll your eyes. This girl really needs to have a professional do her hair.
"Um.. hi there.." you say unexcitedly.
She holds out her hand for you to shake it. You shutter and push her hand away.
"What's up? I'm y/n, ex supermodel, Instagram famous, incredible sexy, and richer than you will ever be" you say sassily and shake your hips at her.
You flip your expensive hair and look her up and down with a grin. Tina's smile fades slightly but still tries to stay polite.
"Wooow.. you're a supermodel? Well uh.. maybe you can teach me some modeling tips or somethin?" Tina says with a smile.
You growl in disgust and roll your eyes once more.
"Uh yeah sure whatever lesbian" you scoff and flip her off.
Everyone looks at you with confusion. Tina looks at you with disbelief.
"Uh.. in case you didn't know, I have a boyfriend? He's right over there" Tina points over to.. THE BLACK DUCK??
"DAFFY??" You scream and gasp.
you begin laughing and slap your knees.
"YOUR DAFFY'S BOYFRIEND????" You scream even louder and begin rolling on the floor laughing.
Everyone stares at you.
Lola starts laughing as well because she thinks you're funny.
"HAHAHA! DAFFY!! HAHA!" Lola laughs and starts rolling on the floor as well.
You stop rolling on the floor and stare at her.
"Uh I didn't ask for back up rollers.." you say with disgust and thump her on the head.
She stops laughing and gets up immediately.
"Sorry.." she says awkwardly and looks away.
Daffy growls at you.
"So what if I'm her boyfriend?? I'm too handsome not to have one!" Daffy yells and sprays saliva all over you.
You giggle some more.
"Yeah sure.. you keep telling yourself that, sharty" you snarl and laugh.
"Uh yeah.. anyways.. you said you were Instagram famous?" Tina says as she walks over to her unattractive boyfriend.
"Ugh YES! My gosh how many times do I have to say that??" You yell in annoyance as you begin scavenging for food in Bugs' pantry.
"Hey you don't have to be such a b*tch! I was tryna be friendly here. Are all supermodels like you or are you just especially bratty?" Tina says as she glares at you.
You turn around and give her a death glare as you set some tapenade and crackers on the counter.
"What did you just say to me you little failed abortion?!?" You scream at her.
"I said that you're a stuck up, little ho, who has daddy issues, and probably had a boyfriend who cheated on her," Tina spits back at you.
"THAT'S IT!!!!" You yell as you throw the week old tapenade at her. Ruining her clothes and getting it all over her face.
"Oh you wanna throw sticks?!?! I'll throw STONES!!" Tina grabs the box of crackers and slaps you across the face with them.
You soak her in the face with your 1phone 20 and yank her hair.
She grabs your jojo siwa ponytail and yanks it HARD, making your head slam back into Bug's fridge. Making water go ALL OVER THE FLOOR. You both slip and slide all over the floor as you pull each other's hair. Everyone is watching in horror as the hideous fight is happening in front of then.
"Actually this is kinda hot," Daffy admits as he pulls out his phone to record you two.
Tina punches you in the mouth, causing you to get a fat lip. It looks like you just did the Kylie Jenner challenge with your big puffy lips. You slam her face into the kitchen counter, causing her to get a bloody nose and a fricked up beak. She rams her knee into your stomach, which makes you throw up nachos all over her.
You both slip over the water and vomit and fall to the ground. You are rolling all in the vomit as you're hitting, kicking, scratching, slapping, biting, hugging, and farting on each other.
Daffy is cheering in the background, Bugs is begging for you both to stop, Lola is distracted and doing a puzzle on the floor and coloring a pretty picture with crayons, Porky is throwing up in the bathroom and Yosemite is dead.
You decide you are both bored of fighting and eventually get up off of the ground and look at each other.
"Omigosh you look terrible ahahahahaHAHAHAHAHA!!!! You look like a homo being strangled!!" You laugh in Tina's face.
"Well you look like John Lennon's wife after "date night"" Tina laughs back at you.
You both laugh and slap your knees, you slap each other's knees, and you playfully punch each other.
"Tina you're actually ok," you admit.
"Yeah you ain't too bad yourself," Tina says, getting a mop out of the closet to clean up the pukey mess.
"Uh girls?" Bugs says as he wipes off the bloody puke off of his face.
You and Rina both look at Bugs with shock and then look back at each other but then giggle.
"Sorry bungalow!!" You wheeze and start slapping your knees again.
Tina starts laughing as well.
"Sorry Bugs, we'll get this place cleaned up in no time" Yina reassures Bugs and does a few quick gymnastic moves and quickly cleans up the large mess like magic.
Everything is even cleaner than it was before!
You have star eyes and look at everything happiness.
"Wow, Tina! You really out did yourself" Bugs says as he pats her on the back.
"That'll be 20 bucks, I'm making a career outta house cleanin" Tina says sassily and holds out her hand for Bugs to place the money.
He rolls his eyes and places a 20 in her hand.
"So y/n, maybe I could clean your place too?" Tina giggles at you.
You giggle.
"In your dreams, fart bag. My place is PERFECT!" You snap and flip your hair at her.
You both laugh again.
"Ehh soo.. who wants ice cream? I think we all deserve it after this eventful day" Bugs says happily.
Everyone nods their heads yes in excitement and they all start jumping up and down.
"Omg yesss! Let's go to DiarrheaQueen!!!!" You scream with joy and pounce on top of Bugs.
Lola pounces on top of you and everyone falls to the ground, laughing their snot out.
"Yessss! I love that place!!" Lola screams and does the renegade.
You join her and so does Tina. All three of you dab, jump, floss, whip and nay nay, fart, scream, shart, and do the orange justice.
Daffy tries to join in too, but all three of you stop and flip him off (except Tina did it with love).
"Alright alright, Dairy Queen it is" Boogs laughs and walks out the door.
"You comin with us Porky?" Bugs shouts back to him.
Porky wipes the vomit off of his lip and nods his head yes.
All six of you walk out the door and clime into Bugs' car.
Bugs is driving and Lola calls shotgun, so you, Porly, Daffy, and Tina clime into the back seat. You're about to set your plump booty down until you hear a cowboy scream.
"DONT YA DARE!!!!" Growled the familiar country voice.
You look behind you to see a shriveled up, dry, skinned hillbilly who looks like they haven't had water for days. It's Yosemite Dam!
Yosemite screams for liquid but he can't get the words out.
"Yosemite???" You scream and smack him with your booty.
"OH MY GOSH!! YOSEMITE!!" Bugs screams in horror and looks back behind him to see the pruny cowboy.
"I TOTALLY FORGOT YOU WERE IN HERE!! ARE YOU OK??" Bugs yells worriedly for his neighbor.
There's no response.
"Maybe some ice cream will help him? Come on Bugs! Let's go! I'm starving!!" Lola pleads and gives him puppy dog eyes.
Bewgs rolls his eyes and starts the car and turns the air conditioning on full blast.
"Maybe some cool air will help him" Bugs says with hope.
The dry raisin who was once Yosemite licks his lips and regains consciousness.
"P-P-P-Poor Yosemite.." Proky says as he straightens his bow tie.
Bugs floors the petals and zooms over to the nearest Dairy Queen. You all are laughing, giggling, snorting, and seizing to the song "Last Friday Night" by Katy perry.
"LAST FRIDAY NOGHY!! LALALA LA DE DO DO!!" Daffy screams!!
This song is his favorite.
You wave your hands in the air and Lola begins singing the chorus.
"MMMM OOO YA YA YAAAA LAST FRIDAY NIGHT OOOOOOOOOO!!" Lola sings like an angle and everyone cheers and claps for her amazing singing.
You unbuckle your seatbelt and begin twerking to the beat crazily.
"Y/n! Put your seatbelt on!!" Bugs commands you.
You roll your eyes and bite the seat in anger.
"SHIT UP!! YOU ARENT THE CAR POLICE!!" You scream and continue to twerk to the funky beat.
Everyone laughs at your remark except for bugs and join in on the twerking.
"I swear if you guys don't put your seatbelts back on, ILL TURN THIS CAR AROUND AND NO ONE WILL GET ICECREAM!!" Bugs screams in rage and all of you quickly stop twerking and buckle up.
Bucks finally makes it to the Dairy Queen drive through and pulls up to the speaker.
"Okay tell me your orders," biggie commands you all.
"I-I-I want a s-st-strawberry malt with the w-w-w-w-w-w-works!" Porky shouts in glee.
"No ho ho you will most certainly not Porky," daffy sneers at him.
"B-b-but..." porky starts.
"Porky will have a fat free green yogurt," daffy corrects.
"I want a Godiva chocolate Sunday with champagne gummy bears and gold leaf sprinkles," you demand.
"Y/n, they don't have that here," bugs sighs.
"Ugh fine!!! I NEVER get what I WANT!!! JUST GET ME AN Eminem blizzard," you scream.
"Chocolate cone for me," Tina says.
"I'll have a Texas chainsaw sundae with extra peanuts and cherries," Nobody Sam chimes in.
"My order is veeeeerrrryyyy complicated. First I want a sundae with..."
"I'll order for you Daffy," Bugs cuts him off.
"Ooh ok I'll have a..."Lola starts
"I'll order for you too Lola," Bugs finishes.
Bugs finally rolls down the window and orders all of your creams without a hitch. As you roll up to the serving window you can see two employees throwing hands and banging each other's heads on the counter while someone yells "can I get a waffle cone?? Can I PLEASE get a waffle cone!". You eventually all get your orders and drive back to Bug's house to get ready for bed.
To be continued...
HI MY LITTLE SKID STAINS AND POOP NUGGEST!!!1!1!! I HOPE YOU EMJOYED THAT FUN LITTLE CHAPTR!!!!!!! PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT BELOW WHAT IDEAS YOU WANT ME TO INCLUDE IN THE NEXTEL CHAPTER OF LOONEY TOONY NABERHOOD!!1!!1!!!!!1!!1!!1😍😍😍😍😍😍🥰😘🙃🙂🥰🥰😚🤪🤪😜😜😙😋😛😝🥰😍🥰🥰😍🤬🤬😡🥶🤥🤠🤡👺👺👺👹👹😸😹😹😻😻😻😻✋🤚🦶🦶👅👂🏻👄👁💩💩💩💩💩💩