Your hands were shaking- all of you, really- from both the cold and the anticipation. It was 5:56 in the morning on a foggy day in February, and you were sitting in Andie's car, an old maroon convertible from the nineties that, as you discovered, did not have the best heating.
"I told you I should've bought some tights," you complained, rubbing your exposed legs. Andie had insisted on a tweed blazer-and-skirt set for you that was undeniably fashionable but provided no insulation, especially since you wore the thin blazer unbuttoned. Suddenly, you felt thankful for the black turtleneck you had on underneath.
"Don't worry," Andie reassured you. "I can always buy you a pair after work if you get too cold."
You smiled and leaned over, laying your head on his shoulder. He pulled away slightly, and you inwardly facepalmed. You forgot he didn't like physical contact. "Sorry. You're the best, babe, and I don't know what I'd do without your styling help." Andie didn't like any term of endearment other than babe. You only figured this out because he had made fun of you when you called him cutie, which was a little disappointing, but no big deal to you.
"It just comes naturally," he said in an proud tone, making a swatting motion at you. "Now, get out, before we're both late."
You glanced over at the digital time display- 6:01- and frantically opened the car door.
The large brick building that was Forrest Psychiatric Hospital was a little drab in person, you admitted to yourself. Two glass doors in the front led into an artificially-lit lobby, complete with uncomfortable plastic waiting-room chairs. Your Mary Janes made a muffled clicking on the white linoleum as you walked up to the main desk, which connected to the wall on either side. The walls were white, too, along with almost every surface, besides the wooden accents. A tall pile of papers stacked on the desk hid the person behind, until they were pushed aside to reveal a young woman, her dark hair pulled back into a sleek ponytail.
"Hi, do you need some help?" she asked, masking her clear exhaustion with a flawless smile.
"Yes, um, I'm here to see Dr. Monroe for my first day."
"Oh, so you're the new psychiatrist, huh? First door on the left."
You gave her an awkward grin and thanked her, heading in the direction that she pointed in until you reached a glossy door labeled 'Dr. Abel Monroe, MD, PhD'. You took a deep breath to compose yourself before knocking. A warm male voice answered from inside, inviting you to come in.
The office was a deep gray mixed with a warm blue, and the only source of light was the floor-to-ceiling window that took up the entire back wall. A man in his sixties sat at the heavy oak desk in the far side of the room. When he heard the door close behind you, he swivelled his chair to face you.
"Miss Y/N! Excellent to see you," he called out in a honeyed voice, the lines around his eyes wrinkling as he smiled. He gestured to a set of daffodil-yellow armchairs in front of his desk. "Please."
"Thank you, sir. It's an honor to be working at a place like this." You took a seat and set your leather satchel down on the carpeted floor. "So, why did you want to see me before I started today?"
"Ah, about that-" he cleared his throat, his cheerful expression faltering for a moment- "I just wanted to personally tell you how impressed I was with what you wrote on your application, and how much I'm expecting from you."
You clasped your hands together, looking down at them humbly. "The whole 'Why do you want to work in psychiatry' part?"
"That's the one."
"You're too kind, sir. I honestly thought I'd be rejected because..." you trailed off, realizing it probably wasn't a good first impression to show your employer that you weren't confident in yourself. You had thought you'd be rejected for both your lack of work experience and the rant you had gone on in that very part about just how dedicated you were to your patients that bordered on sounding unprofessional.
He chuckled. "Y/N, you are exactly what we need, my dear. Here-" he pulled out a manila folder and slid it across the desk to you- "is your patient's folder. Dani can show you around."
Dani just so happened to be the receptionist with the perfect smile from earlier. She was friendly, but she always walked like she was in a rush, and you assumed she probably was most of the time. Her gold earrings swung from side to side as she gained distance on you, even in stilettos and a pencil skirt, and you had to speed-walk to keep up.
"So, what's it like working here?" you began enthusiastically, making small talk.
"It's great for the most part. Sometimes a few of the patients get a little riled up, but it's never too much of a problem," she replied, animatedly talking with her hands. You waved at a few of the nurses as Dani led you past the staff break room.
"Do you mind if I read my patient's file as we walk?"
"If you can," she teased, earning a laugh from you, but she slowed her pace until you were both going the same speed. "Dr. Abel told us about how promising you were, and I bet he's right. I mean, I'm twenty-seven and I'm working the desk. You're..." she paused, waiting for your response.
"Twenty-four."
"Twenty-four and a psychiatrist. You have to be pretty promising to do that."
"Oh, thank you, but I only passed the exam to get my license a few weeks ago," you laughed modestly, not used to the praise. You didn't talk to many people about your career, not even Andie. Not that he really asked. It was true that you were one of the youngest in your field, but it also meant that you were inexperienced. "When I was in college, all I thought about was being hired at a place like this."
"Congratulations, then," Dani said, but you didn't notice. You had more on your plate than you expected for your first real patient, and you were starting to doubt if you could live up to Dr. Monroe's expectations.
Your worries were eased a little when you saw you had your own personal white coat, embroidered with your name in black, hanging in your locker. Maybe it was childish, but you instantly felt more confident when you put it on. You swallowed your anxiety down as you stepped into the elevator with Dani. She pressed the '3' button, making it light up a dim orange.
On the third floor, there were two wings: the infirmary and the patients' rooms. In the center, there was a shared space, but you saw that it was empty. The same white covered the halls, and you noticed that there were bars bolted onto the windows, a stark contrast from the bright sunlight that flooded the entire floor. When Dani stopped at room 206 and fingered through her lanyard of keys, you realized that the charmingly mint-green doors were actually reinforced steel.
"Are you ready to meet your patient?" Dani asked, a little less perky than before.
You nodded excitedly and clutched your folder to your chest. Dani unlocked the door, almost struggling to pull it open. To your surprise, there was another room, all white, of course, and completely bare besides a clothes hanger on one wall and a restraint mask on a hook. Another steel door was set into the far wall, completely identical to the last apart from a small double-paned window and a keypad above the handle. Dani made her way over to the second door and showed you the code as she entered it. She didn't press enter, though, and quickly stepped away.
"The key for this door is in your file, if you ever forget. I'll wait out here," she said quietly. You thanked her and entered the next room. You suddenly felt a cushiony material under your feet and looked down to find that the floor, walls, and ceiling were padded. A frail man, who you assumed to be your patient, was sitting by the bed, which was the only piece of furniture. His platinum blonde hair was hopelessly tangled and fell in thin tufts over his eyes, the strands on the nape of his neck just barely brushing against the collar of his straitjacket. As the door closed behind you with a click, he lifted his gaze to meet yours, his striking icy-blue eyes studying you.
"Hi, Ocean, I hope I didn't startle you. I'm Y/N, your new doctor," you said, giving him your best smile.
He didn't react and kept his stare focused on you. Now that you could see his entire face, he looked innocent- angelic, even.
You slowly sat down where you stood, not wanting to get too close without his consent. "I thought we should get to know each other, seeing as we'll be spending some time together."
He remained silent, and you were beginning to worry that he already didn't like you.
"I know I'm probably a bit younger than your other doctors, but-"
"Other doctors," he repeated, catching you off-guard. His voice was deeper than you thought, and husky, like he hadn't spoken in a while. "Are you like the other doctors?"
"I'd like to think I'm not, since they seemed to have resigned," you answered softly. He stood up, towering over you, and moved towards you cautiously, like a predator towards prey.
"You're a liar," he growled. "You're all the same."
Before you even knew what was happening, your head collided with the wall.