Church: Look at this Sheila, this is a thing of beauty. What I have here, I am amazed.
The tank was lined up with the Warthog and the Covenant Ghost outside the Blue Base.
Sheila: Whatever.
Church: We have got every single vehicle in this canyon. We are unstoppable! This is- I have my own fleet. I have my own fleet of cars.
Sheila: Three vehicles and only one guy to drive 'em, big deal.
Church: No, the important thing is that, they don't have any vehicles to. . . Hey, is there a problem here?
Sheila: Problem? Why would there be a problem?
Church: I just- uh, I don't know. You just seem, uh. . . you know, agitated.
Sheila: You think I'm agitated?
Church: Why I. . . I didn't mean. . . I don't mean-
Sheila: No, it was your word, 'Agitaded'. You said, "You sure seem agitaded Sheila." So I guess that mean I'm agitaded, don't I seeeeeeem agitaded Church?
Church: I'm just- I'm just saying you seem a little. . . upset.
Sheila: Oh, so now I'm 'upset'? Which is it Church, am I agitaded or am I upset?
Church: I don't, I mean, I don't really, I could go get a dictionary.
Sheila: Why would I be 'upset'?
Church: Uhhh, I don't know. . . .
Sheila: Well, would I be upset if I got a bunch more Blue guys to come hang around and help me?
Church: Well, actually. . . there are three other guys in the squad.
Sheila: Exactly! This isn't a parking lot Church! It's a team, a family! Are we just supposed to forget everything we've been through?
Church: Right, including the times you've killed me.
Sheila: How about if I suddenly decided, I wasn't the Blue team's tank? What if today, I'm feeling just a little bit Red.
Church: They're just cars Sheila.
Sheila: I'm going to pretend that I didn't hear that.
Church: Hey is there like a. . . jealousy setting somwhere on you. . . that I could, you know. . . turn off. . .?
Sheila: Oh you'd like that wouldn't you?
*On the Quest*
Tucker, Andy, Ruby, Caboose, and the alien were taking cover while more of the Battle Creek reds and blues fired on them. Tucker stood near a weird panel.
Andy: Tucker! Use the key and open the gate!
Tucker: Key? What key?! I don't have a key?
Honk-honk: Blargh.
Andy: Your sword! Use the sword!
Tucker: Oh god! The sword is a key?! Just when I thought his couldn't get any lamer!
Ruby: Not the time!
Tucker: Alright, alright!
The aqua soldier ignited his sword and slashed the panel. A large gate lowered into the ground, revealing a Covenant Banshee!
Ruby/Tucker: What is that thing?!
Honk-honk: BLARGH BLARGH! BLARGH BLARGH!
Andy: The ship?! What ship?! No one told me about any ship!
The alien tossed the bomb onto the snow and dashed towards the Banshee!
Andy: Hey! Come back here you stink nugget!
Honk-honk entered the ship and began flying up as Tex landed on the snow near Andy!
Tex: Hey! What's that thing?! Where's he going?!
Andy: I don't know! He just kept saying, "there it is, there it is!"
Tex: I thought you said there was no reward at the end of the quest!
Andy: I didn't know!
Tucker: If you're pissed about that, wait till you find out my sword is just a key!
Tex: A what?! Andy. . .
Ruby: Guys! Seriously, let's settle this later!
Andy: Hey! Don't blame me! I'm just a translator!
Ruby: I SAID HANDLE THIS LATER!!!!!!!
The magenta girl grabbed Tex and Tucker before throwing them behind a rock for cover! She kicked Andy behind the rock as well!
Tucker: H-Holy shit!
Tex: Y-Yeah. . . *whispers* She's something else when she's pissed.
The Blue rookie then noticed something.
Caboose: Um, I think the alien is coming back. . .
The banshee was heading right towards them.
Caboose: Bad alien! Go away!
Tucker: Uh-oh.
Ruby: GET DOWN!!!!!
They all jumped away, leaving one of the reds completely exposed.
Red: What?
The banshee opened fire and killed him!
Caboose: Ohhh, he wasn't coming to kill us. . . He was saving us. That's a good alien.
Tex: Well, a deal's a deal. He owes me that ship. Andy! Tell him to bring that ship down here and-
Suddenly, a rocket crashed into the ship! It was completely destroyed, killing the alien!
Ruby: What the?!
Andy: You still want me to tell him? Heh heh, cause. . . I think it's down already!
?: Tex.
The freelancer looked up, as did everyone else. . . . A man in white armor stood in an opening in the fortress above them.
Tex: Wyoming?!
Caboose: Connecticut!
Tucker: They're not playing games Caboose.
Ruby: You. . . .
Wyoming: Well, it appears I've spoiled your little game! So sorry chumps!
Tex: That was my ship!
Wyoming: Oh dear! Then I stand corrected, I'm not sorry!
Tex: You are going to pay for that!
Ruby: Yeah, you're paying for coming after my friend. . . .
Wyoming: All out of change at the moment! Catch you next time! Cheerio!
The man sped off!
Tex: Get back here!
The woman ran towards the fortress to give chase!
Tucker: Huh, that didn't go quite the way I expected.
Ruby: Same here.
She dug into her pocket and pulled out some money.
Ruby: Do me a favor and buy Caboose ice cream when you get back to Blood Gulch. If I find out you wasted the money on something, I'll stab you.
Tucker: Wait! Why do I have to do it?!
The magenta girl watched Tex climb up the fortress and then looked at where Wyoming once stood. . . .
Ruby: Because I'm going after them. . . .
A trumpet tune echoed throughout the Freezing Plains.
Tucker: Better get going.
Ruby: *mutters* That ruined my one liner. . . . *sighs*
The girl dashed after the two freelancers!
Ruby: Remember, he wanted vanilla!
Tucker: Understood.
The second she was out of sight. . . .
Reds and Blues: CHARGE!
Tucker: Yeah, let's get the hell out of here.
*At Blood Gulch*
Church: You okay there? Blue guy?
The cobalt soldier entered his base to check on the fake Blue.
Simmons: I'm fine. *sniffs* I told you, it's just allergies.
Church: Oh yeah? You know, I never heard someone say 'boo hoo hoo' when they sneeze.
Simmons: *sniffs* I'm fine!
Church: Good! Well then now I can give you your orders. Umm, first of all, that jeep out of there is really dirty and I think that-
Simmons: Why are you giving me orders?
Church: Uh, because that's the way the Blue team works. . .
Simmons: Technically, you're the new guy. I should be telling you what to do.
Church: Uh, I don't think so man. See back in the day, uhhh. The way this worked was command would call me and give me the orders and then I would pass them along to everybody else. Okay, it works like this. I would get on my radio like this.
He then turned his radio on.
Church: I'd say uh. . . uh. . . Come in Blue Command, come in! This is Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha. Do you read me? And then, normally this a. . . really annoying guy would come back and say-
The Blue Leader did not expect a response.
Vic: Hello, hello. Come in, hello.
Simmons: Wow, those are pretty good impressions, can you do Arnold Schwarzenegger? *mimics Schwarzenegger* I'll be back!
Church: That wasn't me. . . Uh hello?
Vic: Hello, come in Blood Gulch, can you hear me? Hello, try the veal, Hello.
Church: What? V-Vic? Is that you? It's been eight-hundred years! How have you survived so long?!
Vic: Oh, no way dude. Vic's dead. This is Vic's great great great great great great great great-
The amount of greats continued while Simmons kept doing his Arnold Schwarzenegger impression.
Vic: Great great great great great great great Grandson! Vic Junior.
Church: And you work- you work with Blue Command?
Vic: Oh right dude, good one dude, Blue Command, wink!
Church: What do you mean? What-wait, what does that mean? What does that mean? Does the- is the war over? Did we win?
Vic: Dude, I got a lot to catch you up on.