since i was young
i've been told many things
that i was pretty and tall
then that i could model one day
my skinniness was my luck at work
soon i was told otherwise
that i was too flat
i was a stick
i was unloveable
even my friends betrayed me
and called me anorexic
i then ate to gain weight
so my body would be enjoyable
not for me
but for them
but when i gained ten pounds
then twenty
then thirty
i was and still felt unloveable
nobody would love me
if i wasn't skinny
if i wasn't a stick that walked
and so instead of eating
in order to gain weight
i stopped eating
to do the opposite
a never ending cycle
of changing myself
altering and hating my body
for people that didn't care
and would never
but at the very least
i am glad my friend
can no longer be called a liar
-lana jane