"Meet me at the park in 20 minutes." Jackson said stepping out onto the fire escape right outside my window. "I'll have food and cigarettes waiting for you when you get there."
I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and sat up in my bed. "But it's still so early." I whined. I am not a morning person. On the days I do sleep, waking up is hell.
"I know, but the longer you stay here the better chance of one of those assholes coming to look for you." Jackson said, giving me a pointed look. I groaned and flopped back.
"Flick, say that you'll meet me in 20 minutes by the playground at the park." Jackson is such a pain in the ass sometimes. Even if he was nice enough to let me use him as a teddy bear last night. "Say it before I leave or I'll stay here and drag your ass out of bed."
I rolled my eyes and grabbed the hair tie off the side table. "I'll meet you at the park in 20 minutes." I grumbled.
He nodded curtly and stepped a little farther away from the window. "I'll hunt you down if you're late, Flicky." He yelled, climbing down the ladder.
"Oh shut up." I rolled my eyes even though he couldn't see me, and threw the blankets off my body, shivering at the pierce of cold air that hit my skin. I didn't waste much time getting dressed. Jackson was right. I didn't want to stay here a moment beyond necessity. I didn't want to see them. I didn't have the emotional energy to fight with them anymore, but I was far from over my anger last night. In fact, if anything, while I stared at the ceiling for hours last night, waiting and wishing just to sleep, I became even more infuriated with them. It was bad enough that the first three showed up unannounced, but there was something so mind numbingly angering about Noel showing up days late, also without the slightest bit of notice. I mean, I didn't want one of them here, but four was beyond pushing it.
It wasn't even just that, but more how shocked they all seemed when I snapped at them. As if they hadn't realized that I was so angry. It made me sick to my stomach to think that they were actually that dense. Because they weren't. One thing all of my family have always prided ourselves on is their smarts. All of my brothers, with the exception of Cameron and Noel, were the top students in their respective graduating classes and some of them even got academic scholarships to college and stuff. They're smart. So why is it so hard for people so smart to understand why the hell I'm so mad? I don't understand, and I don't care enough to ask. Whatever their reason, I didn't need to hear it. They made their decision. And I made mine.
So that would be that. Nothing more to discuss about it. All I had to do was make it through Christmas without losing my mind, which shouldn't be hard if I stay away from the apartment until at least Monday of next week. A week isn't so long. I've had to avoid home for longer than that when Mom has friends stay over for days at a time.
Pulling on a pair of old vans that used to be Camerons, and a sweatshirt over my jeans and t-shirt, I grabbed my backpack and stepped out of my room. I would have gone down the fire escape like Jackson, but last time I did that, a few months ago, I fell and broke my arm, so the front door would have to do for now. Even if I did have to risk running into one of the four intruders in my house. I didn't hear anything as I walked down the hall, which was very encouraging. But when I got to the kitchen, I was tempted to smack my head against the wall when I saw Emil sitting at the table drinking coffee and reading the newspaper.
"Heading to school?" He asked, not looking up.
I rolled my eyes and went to the fridge. Might as well grab a gatorade while I'm here. "Sure, let's go with that." I mumbled cracking open the sugary drink.
"Do you need a ride there? You won't make it in time if you walk." I
swear, if I rolled my eyes any harder, they'd fall right out if my head. "I'll get there fine. On my own." I looked at him quickly and saw an expression of confliction and tiredness. I had heard the TV on last night, after I was sure they all had gone to bed. I wouldn't be surprised if it was Emil. If I remember correctly, he didn't sleep much either. A genetic curse, I suppose. Insomnia is really killer some days.
"You sure? I'm more than happy to-"
"I said I'm fine." I said walking away from him before he could say anything else. I wasn't sure what his motive was, but I didn't need him to suck up to me. I needed him and all the rest of these pricks to go home and leave me be. I was halfway down the hall of our floor, when I felt a hand wrap around my arm.
"Felicity, wait, I need to talk to you quickly," Noel said, sounding out of breath. I rolled my eyes again but let him keep me in place for the moment. It couldn't hurt to hear what he had to say. Couldn't help either, but I'll let that go for now.
"What could you possibly want?" I said boredly. Anger was still simmering in me, but I was tired. So eternally tired.
"I just- I just wanted to explain where I've been for the last two years." He said, sounding a bit apprehensive. I crossed my arms over my chest and tapped my foot impatiently, waiting for him to go on. "Well, the truth is, I don't have a good excuse. I got busy with looking for a job and trying to make things work in San Diego, and I kept telling myself that I didn't have the time to come see you, and Mom I guess too, but really I could have found the time and I'm so sorry I didn't. I don't have any excuse that's good enough, but I do feel really, really awful if that's any consolation."
I bit my lip in contemplation looking deep into his eyes. I never believed the whole 'eyes are the windows of the soul' bullshit, but there was something to be said for what a person's eyes can tell you. And right now, Noel's eyes were telling me he really was sorry. But that didn't mean I would forgive him. "Noel, do you remember the conversation we had a few weeks after Wren left?" I asked, evening out my facial expression. He scrunched his eyebrows in confusion, and shook his head, making his brown curls fly all over the place. I hummed. "Yeah, well, I do. And in that conversation, you were telling me how angry you were that Wren just up and left without a single thought concerning the rest of us. Remember how upset you were? I was only eight at the time, and I was plenty mad too, but you went on and on that day about how much it sucked that Wren had left and all the rest of them had as well. You were mad Noel."
He looked down at me with wide eyes.
I shook my head, a soft sigh escaping my sarcastically stretched lips. "And so am I." I walked away from him without another word or another thought. A taste of his own medicine I suppose.
When I get to the park, Jackson is sitting on a bench, 2 McDonald's egg sandwiches and 2 packs of cigarettes in his lap. I don't say anything as I sit down. Jackson frowns at that and shoves a bite sandwich into his hinged mouth.
"Why so glum dude?" He asked, tilting his head like a curious little puppy. I sighed, taking the food from his hand rather than the one on his lap for convenience. He whines slightly-yet again, like a puppy-but doesn't fuss too much, instead unwrapping the extra one and taking another huge bite.
"Let's go to the boardwalk tonight. Amber'll probably take us to the one in Venice if we ask her." I say, ignoring his question. Jackson humms, studying me momentarily. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that he's not impressed with my quick subject change, but I couldn't quite bring myself to care. I'm sick of feelings for today, and for the rest of time. I hate feelings. I hate what I don't understand.
"You okay bud? Anything happen before you came here?" Sometimes he really acted like a big brother. Taking care of me, checking on me and all that sappy shit we tried to avoid in normal life. I can't wait to get back to normal life. For this hell to end, and my home to be mine again. It can't happen soon enough if you ask me.
"I'm fine, Jacks. Don't worry about me." I didn't need him to worry. I didn't need anyone to worry. I was just fine on my own.
"Oh, little girl, aren't you always fine?" He winces when my fists connects with his side, in retaliation of the stupid nickname.
"Well, aren't we feisty, miss Felicity?" He teases, successfully diminishing the seriousness that clung to the air around us.
"Oh shut up, you." I teased right back, knocking my shoulder into his. I grabbed the pack of cigarettes from him and pulled one out, taking the lighter I had stolen from the convenience store a few weeks ago, out of my pocket.
"The boardwalk sounds amazing, Flick. I'm glad you're okay." Jackson smiled at me, and I couldn't help but return it if only slightly.
"I'm always okay, my dear. When will you learn that?"
A/N-Okay, so this chapter was going to be longer, but it was getting too long and so I decided just to chop it into two chapters so sorry if you saw my instagram story and were expecting something longer. The next update shouldn't take super long, given it's already half way through, but knowing me, it always takes longer than I think it will lol. Thank you guys for 19k views on this story. I love and appreciate each and every one of you.