He'd died at the age of 63. You had told me about how it was quite expected and how he wasn't the healthiest man alive but that didn't change the fact that it was going to hurt a hell of a lot when he eventually passed.
It was two in the morning when you called. You were in Melbourne, I was in Sydney. It was the first time I'd ever heard you cry. He'd gone in to have a heart operation and things hadn't gone quite the way that they'd planned.
I packed a bag seconds after you'd hung up and called Luke, telling him I needed a ride to the airport. There was a flight out at five that morning and so I took that one, caught a ride to your house in a taxi and met you at the front door.
The first person to see me was your mum and her eyes were bright red from crying. She seemed shocked to see me and I felt as if I was going to pass out on your doorstep due to how tired I was but she pulled me into this giant hug and I just kind of held her for a bit.
It was strange, I guess. Hugging your mum like that. It'd just come so naturally though, wrapping my arms around her and just staying there. She was normally such a lively person and to see her with tears running down her face it was the shock of the century.
She'd pointed me to your room. You were in bed, though I don't think you were sleeping. You had your earphones in and I think you were listening to Frank Sinatra or something. I remember the curtains being open because the backyard outside looked all mystical that night.
I'd kicked my shoes off and climbed into bed next to you. You'd never liked spooning for some crazy, unbeknown reason but for once you kind of just melted into me. My hands crept around your waist and I felt your fingers entwine with mine.
Sadness is such a bitch sometimes, Jay. Sadness took you, my beautiful golden girl, and turned you into a storm that was brooding and silent and never spoke for a week or so and it was strange, to see you bundled up so tightly and so far away from the world like that.
It sounds terrible and you'll probably take this the wrong way, but I'd give anything to lie in that sad, silent bed again with you, Jay.