draco's new year's party playlist 🖤 (play when party starts):
Lil Wayne - Let It Fly (ft. Travis Scott)
The Scotts, Travis Scott, & Kid Cudi - The Scotts
A$AP Ferg - New Level (ft. Future)
Don Toliver - After Party
"He said that?", Stass asked.
"Yes. Theo said 'Draco's loved you longer than I have'"
"Holy shit. Your love life is way too complicated", she said lighting herself a cigarette. "Want one?", she asked holding her pack of cigarettes in front of me. I took one out and placed it in between my lips. Stass then lit my cigarette with her lighter.
"Maybe Theo's just fucking with me. There's no way Draco 'loves' me"
"Why would he lie to you?"
"I don't fucking know"
"Maybe you can find out tonight at Draco's New Year's party. Get him alone, drunk of course, and ask him for yourself"
"I'm not asking Draco if he's in love with me"
"Why not?"
"Because I know he's not in love with me. I dated his best friend for eight years and if he felt some kind of way about me, he would've said so already"
"Well, do you feel some kind of way towards him?"
"No...", I said avoiding Stass's eyes.
"You totally do", she smirked. "There's no way you can hide something like that from me. I see the way you look at Draco"
"How do I look at Draco, may I ask?"
"You look at him the same way you used to look at Theo. You get all heart eyed and not to mention the crazy sexual tension between you two"
"I don't know what you're talking about", I said shaking my head.
"Please. You do this thing where you bite your cheek whenever you want to jump someone's bones"
"I do not"
"But you do, and that little dance you two had at the Snowflake Ball, I could tell you were totally falling in love"
"No one is falling in love"
"You also run away when you're too scared to commit to something, hence you running away after kissing Draco on Christmas Eve"
"Okay, stop listing out my copping mechanisms", I said taking a hit from my cigarette. "I Stella Blackwood am not falling in love with Draco Malfoy. We're just friends and nothing else"
"Keep telling yourself that", she said rolling her eyes. "The sooner you two admit your feelings to each other, the sooner we all can stop betting on who's going to make the first move"
"You guys are betting on me?"
"Yup. Blaise and Alex has fifty galleons on you and I have sixty on Malfoy. He's going to crack at some point, I just know it"
"That's so fucked up"
"Draco looks like his stomach hurts every time he sees you and Theo together. He's bound to explode at some point, and when he does, there's going to be bits of Draco Malfoy all over the walls. Keeping in all those emotions isn't healthy"
Who knew Stass was such an observer? I guess this is what Stass is doing when she's not looking at herself.
Since the party on Christmas Eve, I just stay up all night thinking about what Theo said to me at the bar, "If I'm going to trust anyone with you, it'd be Draco. He's loved you longer than I have". What does that even mean? There's no way Draco is in love with me, he can't be. If he was in love with me, he would've told me already. He would've told me the day Theo and I broke up or that night up in the Astronomy Tower, but Theo said Draco has loved me longer than he has. That would mean Draco has always had feelings for me, but that's impossible. For most of our lives, I've been with Theo. He wouldn't have told Theo that he loved me because that would've gotten in the way of our relationship.
Draco has always just been my best friend to me. I've never thought about him as more than that until this year. Throughout my whole entire relationship with Theo, I only had eyes for him, clearly he didn't do the same, but I never looked too deep into my relationships with other boys. Maybe kissing Draco that day in the girls' bathroom was just me letting out all of my underlying feelings for him. After all, Draco was the one who taught me how to fly on a broom, the one who stepped in as my dance partner six years ago when Theo was out sick, the one who helped me with my homework when Theo wouldn't. Draco was always there. Never once did he leave my side or did something to break my heart.
Maybe this whole time, I've been in love with the wrong person. I've been planning my whole life out with someone who I don't even have anything in common with. Theo liked going out and I rather stay in and spend some alone time together. He always wanted to be around other people instead of being with me. I cared about school and my grades where he would rather have his father pay someone off than do the work himself. Come to think of it, my relationship with Theo was a complete lie. We told each other we loved on another, but did we? Everything with Theo was just habit. Kissing him before leaving, even for just a second, attending events with him, family dinners, it was all force of habit. Most of the time I was just convincing myself that everything was real when it wasn't. Well isn't this a complete mind fuck?
"-and that's why I told him I didn't care", Stass said breaking up my thoughts. "Are you even listening?"
"Um, yeah. You and Adrian are back together but he's unsure because he has to go back to the States soon". At least that's what I think she was talking about.
"I know that I said we have to be single together and get ran through by all of Hogwarts but I want to have some alone time with Adrian before he goes back to Ilvermorny"
"I think I can survive one night without you"
"Because you will be spending your night confessing your love to Draco", she said taking a hit from her cigarette.
"That's not happening", I sang.
"I can't wait until the day I get to say 'I told you so'". Stass put out her cigarette on her ashtray and got up from the ground. "Now, let's get ready for the party", she said offering me her two hands. I grabbed onto them and she pulled up from her bedroom floor.
For the party tonight, I wore an olive tank with a satin printed mini skirt and my black leather knee high platform boots. Stass wore a a pleated denim mini skirt with a baby pink graphic baby tee and a pair of platform boots. We both wore our matching gold charm friendship bracelets that we got each other for Christmas. Out friendship bracelets also happen to be portkeys so we can travel to each other while we wait to get out apparation licenses. Once we finished getting ready, I linked my arm onto Stass's and we used out portkey bracelets to get to Malfoy Manor.
When we got to the Manor, the dark cold home was turned into a loud party venue. There were colored lights flashing outside of the windows of the first floor and groups of Hogwarts students entering. Standing at the front doors were Crabbe and Goyle. They were checking everyone in and made sure there weren't any underclassmen attending. I guess Draco made Crabbe and Goyle bouncers for the night.
Stass and I entered the party together and walked straight to the kitchen where Draco usually keeps all of the drinks. We pushed through the groups of people blocking the kitchen table and poured ourselves some alcohol into black plastic cups with a splash of soda as a chaser.
"Hey, baby", Adrian said kissing Stass on the cheek and wrapping his arms around her from behind.
"Hi", Stass said kissing him back.
"Hey, Blackwood, would you mind if I take Stass away for bit?", he asked me.
"Yes", I sighed, "but she's all yours"
"Thanks, I owe you one", he winked before pulling Stass away.
Fun. I'm standing here alone, drink in hand while everyone is having the time of their lives.
I chugged my drink and then immediately pouring myself another one, this time with only vodka, no chaser. If I'm going to be spending this night alone, might as well drink to the point where I can't even feel a damn thing. I rather wake up with a heavy hang over than feel the pity I have for myself right now.
After a few drinks in, I now feel my lips and tongue going numb and body feels like it's floating. I went to pour myself another one but a hand grabbed the almost empty bottle of vodka away from my hands. I looked up from the marble counter and saw Draco holding the bottle of liquor with a concerned look on his face. I let out a deep sigh and grabbed the bottle of tequila in front of me but he confiscated it from me too.
"Woah, Blackwood. I don't want to be holding your hair while you hurl in the toilet again", Draco chuckled. He placed the bottles of liquor back on the counter, away from me and grabbed the plastic cup from my hand. "Let's get you some water, you look like you need it"
Draco threw his arm around my shoulder and walked me over to the fridge, opening it up and grabbing me a bottle of cold water. I opened the water bottle and chugged the whole bottle, shoving it back into Draco's hand. Ice cold water shouldn't have felt that good.
"Chapstick?", Draco asked holding up mint flavored lip balm.
"You carry around chapstick in your pocket?", I slurred.
"Don't tease. I know how much you hate having chapped lips". Draco took the cap off of the lip balm and applied it to my dry numb lips. "Better?"
"Yes, thank you"
Why is he so sweet. Theo never did this for me.
"We're all in the drawing room playing beer pong. You can sit and watch because I don't think you should drink anymore", he said leading me out of the kitchen.
"Don't tell me what to do, Malfoy. I'm fine and perfectly capable of throwing a little plastic ball into cups"
"Alright, you can play but you're going to be on my team. With me playing, you're not going to have to drink"
When we get to the drawing room, Blaise and Daphne were teamed up against Stass and Adrian, playing beer pong while Theo was sitting in a chair watching with Pansy sitting on his lap. He was kissing her neck while she let out shrieks and ear deafening giggles. Ew, someone get me out of fucking here.
"The princess has arrived!", Blaise exclaimed, throwing his hands up.
"The princess wants to play", I said walking over to him and taking the white ping pong ball from his hand.
"Game on. Come on, Dray. Let's show Blackwood who's king"
"Sorry, B. I'm teaming up Stella", Draco said taking my hand and walking me over to the other side of the table.
"Are you kidding me? You're ditching me for Stella? You're my pong partner", Blaise pouted.
"Get used to Stella ditching you for Draco", Theo said from across the table.
"Really because-", I said walking towards Theo before Draco placed his hand around my mouth and holding me back.
"Don't say anything stupid", he whispered in my ear before letting go of my mouth. I rolled my eyes and he said, "Alright, take your shot"
I threw the ball towards Theo's head and then picked up the plastic cup filled with beer of the table, taking a drink. I threw the cup on the floor and grabbed another cup.
"You can't do that", said Daphne.
"I'm the head bitch in charge and I can do whatever the fuck I want", I scoffed, chugging the second cup.
"Okay", Draco sang. "I think it's time for you to take a break"
"I don't need a break"
"Yes, you do"
Draco shuffled me out of the drawing and upstairs to the second floor. He lead me by my shoulders into his bedroom and sat me down on his bed. I laid down and ran my hands all over his duvet, feeling the soft cold silk brush against the palm of my hands. Draco walked over to me and got on the ground, unzipping my boots and throwing them in the corned of his room. He unzipped my skirt, sliding it off my legs and taking off my top. His cold hands sent chills all over my body as he slips his sweatshirt over my head. The sweatshirt was oversized and fit like a big warm blanket. He lifted up his duvet and slipped me underneath it, tucking me in, just like he did the night of the Gryffindor party.
I tried to keep my eyes open by my heavy eyelids kept on making my sight go black. In the corner of my barely opened eyes, I saw Draco folding my clothes and setting it on his trunk at the foot of his bed. He brought his trash bin over to the side of my bed and conjured a glass of water, placing it on his nightstand.
"I have a glass of water and a trash bin here for you", he said kissing my forehead. "If you need anything, I'll be downstairs in the drawing room"
"Can you... Can you stay here, with me?"
"Sure, I'll stay with you", Draco took his shirt off and changed out of his black trousers into a pair of black sweatpants. He walked over to the other side of his bed and got in, scooting close to me. He slid his arm underneath my pillow and wrapped his arm around my torso.
"Thank you for being such a good friend"
"Don't mention it. I'm always here for you". He moved my hair from my face and kissed my cheek. "Happy New Year, Stella"
"Happy New Year, Draco"
I can't believe I settled for a guy that would leave me drunk in an empty guest room during a party when Draco would lay in bed and make sure that I'm okay instead of going back downstairs.