The sound of my alarm clock echoes around my room but I'm already woken up. After the nightmare I saw, I was terrified to close my eyes again. Because every time I had locked them the previous times, I could view their blood flood in the road, hear the silent prays to be saved whistling around my ears. I just stared at the ceiling and watch the moonlight come and go casting shadows in my small room.
I caress my eyes in an abortive attempt to be saved by the sleepiness that was claiming. I don't even remember the time I slept for more than four hours. It feels so foreign like a faded memory that has been washed away by the power of time. I just wish its power can heal me as well.
I yawn on my way to the bathroom when I see the door opening. My eyes widen and it reveals a tall blond boy. My mouth feels so dry as my lips part. Our eyes meet for a second before I tear my gaze away. It's like his eyes burn me creating scalds and injuries all over me and the only way to be saved is running away from his suffocating and torturing eyes. To run from my demon.
I stride back to my room when I hear his voice.
"Amelia, wait,"
I walk faster and shut the door rapidly behind me. I stay right behind the door stating at it while hearing his footsteps becoming louder. He stops for a few seconds outside my door and I feel all my body on fire. I gawk at the door knowing that he's right on the other side. Only this door between us. My heart thunders against my chest loudly and my body benumbs. I hear his footsteps fading away before the sound of the door closing travels to my ears. I shut my eyelids and tears meet my cheeks. I lean my head in the door and feel its coldness fight the fire in me.
I hadn't seen him for almost three weeks. The first two weeks, I only saw him twice in school and I immediately change my path of direction. In the last week, we hadn't met even once. He hadn't come to school or the house. I felt relieved that I didn't have to deal with the demon that has splintered my heart. Warm watery tears keep running and a sob escapes my lips. I remember his eyes for that second I saw them and I hate it. I hate it that I had missed them. I had missed him and I hate myself for that.
I wear my headphones all the time not wanting to hear the gossips and chatters. I don't have the strength to speak and I know that people have started to notice the distance between us. I'm sure the rumors of our break-up must be in the list of the topics of discussion in the school. Girls must be thrilled. I winch at my thought but push it back. I shouldn't care.
I detect Noah in the distance and head to him.
"Hey, is everything alright?" He asks worriedly.
"yeah, I just..." I stop and look at his eyes. "I saw Corbyn at our house this morning."
"Oh.."
"Do you know what he was doing?"
"Yeah, he came in last night when you were up to your room and stayed the night. I don't know the reason but I heard something about his father,"
I nod begging to fill the blanks. His parents are on trial which means that the atmosphere must be heated in this house. Maybe too heated to be handled.
"Does that mean he'll stay with us?" I question as terror flashes across my features. I won't be able to face him on a daily basis. His present aches me and if I have a chance of recovering is by distance from my demon.
"No, I think it was just for the night," A wave of utter relief washes over me and I shut my eyes exhaling. He notices the way all my body relaxes at the sound of his reassuring words. My demon might stay under the same roof as me. Hell.
During dinner, I keep my eyes trained in my plate. The food is tasty but my appetite has disappeared in the last few weeks. Since that night.
Silence has blanked our table like every other night this week. Only the sound of the glasses and cutlery touching the plates echoes. I don't speak much and Noah and Jacob are silent too. I don't think any of us have something to say. I feel the awkwardness surrounding us not allowing me to glace up.
"How is school?" My aunt speaks stopping this quietude.
"Good," Jacob replies saving Noah and me for the obligating of answering.
Tranquility seems to fall upon us again before Oliver talks.
"Where is Corbyn?" My eyes shoot to the little boys sitting next to Noah opposite me. His brown hair messy but his green eyes are sparkling reminding me of another pair of eyes that have this power. This demonic power. He looks around the table and I look down, staying mute.
"He was here last night," My aunt states. "But Oliver is right, he hasn't been here for a while. Did you fight?" Her gaze turns to Jacobs who stares at her silently. He doesn't offer an explanation. His whole body is tensed and I notice the way his fists are clenched under the table. He doesn't know what to say.
"It's complicated...we-"
He isn't responsible for any of this. I'm the stupid girl that fell off the cliff to Corbyn's hug without thinking about the consequences of my spontaneous actions. I thought he fell from heaven to save me from my lethal fall when he actually raised from hell to trap me and pull me down.
"Jacob," I speak softly and he turns to me. His eyes are burning with uncertainty. "You don't have to," I add before I take a deep steadying breath. "I was with Corbyn and we broke up. That's the reason he doesn't come here anymore," Calmness stretches across the table.
"I knew it! I knew you were together!" Oliver cries happily.
"Wow..." My aunt's mouth is open as she looks at her husband. "I didn't know, since when?"
"Uhm...I don't exactly remember but it was a couple of weeks after school started,"
"And now you have broken up?" she questions looking into my eyes and I nod in agreement.
"I had no idea honey, I'm sorry,"
"It's okay," I mutter even though it's far from the truth.
"Did he do something stupid?"
"Stupid? Nah...he thought about it to the last point, isn't that right Jacob?" Noah's eyes are glued to his brother as the rest of us stare at them. I feel the tension and rage multiply as they exchange gazes silently. They don't break eye contact and I see the silent fight they have that only fuels their fury more.
"What are you talking about?" My aunt asks. "Noah," she pushes when seconds pass and Noah doesn't take his eyes off of his brother's.
"He-"
"Don't," Jacobs hisses through clenched teeth.
"Why not? Because he is your best friend? You seriously need to find better friends Jacob!"
"Shut up! I have had enough of this attitude this week! It wasn't my place!" He roars and my aunt frowns not comprehending what's occurring in front of her eyes. My uncle though seems to listen without interviewing. And somehow, I get the feeling that he knows exactly what's happening. I'm reminded of Corbyn's words and I remember his appreciation towards his face. It doesn't take me more than a second to fear the possibility that he knew. He's a lawyer and I'm sure he knew Corbyn's situation with his parents like he knew the night he caught them sneaking into the house. He had claimed that he knew what was going on in Corbyn's life which means he still does. He must know.
His eyes meet mine and I look back at my plate. What if he knew he was using? He was always so nice to me though he knows Corbyn since he was a kid. That's a lot of love that a niece that came out of nowhere can't compete with.
Noah chuckles flakily as if his brother's words are a ridiculous lie. "Oh yeah? It wasn't your place? And what were you supposed to do? Sit around and watch her collapse?"
Jacobs starts to speak but Noah doesn't allow him. "Save it! It's her you should apologize to, not me," His chair squeaks before he storms out of the room leaving us behind. The tension is too much for me to handle so I just get up and take off too without saying a word. Tears slip down my cheeks as I open the front door. The wind blows my hair and I rest my back in the closed door breathing in the clear oxygen.
Demon. Even in his absence has the power to crush me and remind me of the good memories he ruined.